Elayne Trakand Quotes

He isn't a horse, Elayne. You don't own him. ~ Robert Jordan

It still isn't right for us to have flowers when there are people who do not have enough to eat. ~ Robert Jordan

Wouldn't it be great to see a line in all movie credits that truthfully says, 'Nobody was harmed in the making of this film, and at the cast party, all animals got a belly belly belly rub.' ~ Elayne Boosler

We've seen the uproars around the world concerning cartoons depicting the prophet Mohammad. Anyone who does not think comic strips are relevant never had a fatwa put on him/her for drawing a picture. ~ Elayne Boosler

Why, that's like being told to go up in the hills to find lions, only you do not know whether there are any lions, but if there are, they may be hunting you, and they may be disguised as bushes. Oh, and if you find any lions, try not to let them eat you before you can tell where they are. -Elayne ~ Robert Jordan

I think about death. I don't want to die with clothes in the cleaners. ~ Elayne Boosler

Didn't seem to mind, darlin'. In fact," his hand caressed her ass through her dress, "you really got into it." That was just my hand." His lips found her ear, his breath hot and tingly. "Imagine what my tongue can do. ~ Elayne DiSano

There are many comedians who are afraid to work outside the coasts and the casinos because they're afraid they'll bomb. ~ Elayne Boosler

Now that the Court has declared money to be speech, I say we replace the current Court with some Ben Franklins, Thomas Jeffersons, George Washingtons, a couple of Susan B. Anthony's, Roosevelts, Hamiltons, a Sacajawea or two, and an Abe Lincoln to cover Scalia in full. ~ Elayne Boosler

I love being down at Occupy Wall Street. The sincerity, the youth involvement, the desire for better, is palpable and moving. There is true caring, sharing, and refreshingly naive hope. ~ Elayne Boosler

I just get the feeling that if Jesse Helms was in charge of art in America, you'd go into a museum and see nothing but prints of dogs playing cards. ~ Elayne Boosler

My mother always said you could eat off her floor; you could eat of my floor too, there's so much food down there. ~ Elayne Boosler

Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers? ~ Elayne Boosler

I like to go after the foibles, basically of beliefs that are held without question. If people still want to believe in their stuff after that, that's great - as long as they just have a chance to step back and look at it for a second. Sometimes, you don't even realize what you've been thinking for 20 years. ~ Elayne Boosler

We cannot save our clients from themselves. Someday in your career, Elayne, you will represent a man - almost certainly a man - who wants you to help him barter his soul to a demon for three wishes. When that day comes you may refuse his business, you may try to change his mind, but in the end if hell he wants, hell he will achieve. ~ Max Gladstone

I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food. ~ Elayne Boosler

Here is what is needed for Occupy Wall Street to become a force for change: a clear, and clearly expressed, objective. Or two. ~ Elayne Boosler

You know you're getting fat when you step on the dog's tail and he dies. ~ Elayne Boosler

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions. ~ Elayne Boosler

We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, 'You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.' ~ Elayne Boosler

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country! ~ Elayne Boosler

I personally cannot tell you how many times we rescuers put our names on animals to come to us as soon as they are eligible for release, only to find they have been senselessly killed by overzealous pound workers. ~ Elayne Boosler

Guys wake up at your place and they expect breakfast. They don't eat bagels and M&M's in the morning. They want things like toast. I say, 'I don't have these recipes.' ~ Elayne Boosler

Every time we help an animal, we are healing ourselves, over and over. ~ Elayne Boosler

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking. ~ Elayne Boosler

I guess in general, people tend to not eat the cute animals. ~ Elayne Boosler

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot. ~ Elayne Boosler

Most people love animals, and most people love to laugh. Combining the two makes both resonate deeper. ~ Elayne Boosler

What do hookers do on their nights off, type? ~ Elayne Boosler

President Reagan is a lot like E.T. He's cute, he's lovable, and he knows nothing about how Americans live. ~ Elayne Boosler

My brother is gay and my parents don't care, as long as he marries a doctor. ~ Elayne Boosler

Why didn't you guess this would happen?" Elayne demanded.
He looked at her, expressionless. One side of his mouth twitched up, then he pulled his hat down, shading his eyepatch.
"Light," Elayne said. "You knew. You spent this whole week planning with us, and you knew the entire time you'd throw it out with the dishwater. ~ Robert Jordan

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born. ~ Elayne Boosler

I pray if I ever find out I have only about three minutes to live it's during a basketball game, because then I'll have, what, 10, 12 years to live? ~ Elayne Boosler

Why isn't the movie industry forced to open its shooting locations to an organization that is there to advocate for animal actors? The industry isn't allowed to pick and choose which movies using young children it will or won't allow to be monitored. The vulnerable should be protected. ~ Elayne Boosler

He was a soldier. He was a shepherd. He was a beggar, and a king. He was a farmer, gleeman, sailor, carpenter. He was born, lived, and died Aiel. He died mad, he died rotting, he died of sickness, accident, age. He was executed, and multitudes cheered his death. He proclaimed himself the Dragon Reborn and flung his banner across the sky; he ran from the Power and hid; he lived and died never knowing. He held off the madness and the sickness for years; he succumbed between two winters. Sometimes Moiraine came and took him away from the Two Rivers, alone or with those of his friends who had survived Winternight; sometimes she did not. Sometimes other Aes Sedai came for him. Sometimes Red Ajah. Egwene married him; Egwene, stern-faced in stole of Amyrlin Seat, led Aes Sedai who gentled him; Egwene, with tears in her eyes, plunged a dagger into his heart, and he thanked her as he died. He loved other women, married other women. Elayne, and Min, and a fair-haired farmer's daughter met on the road to Caemlyn, and women he had never seen before he lived those lives. A hundred lives. More. So many he could not count them. And at the end of every life, as he lay dying, as he drew his final breath, a voice whispered in his ear. I have won again, Lews Therin. Flicker. ~ Robert Jordan

A study last year showed that the page you turn to first in the newspaper can be a predictor of how long you will live. No surprise, turning first to the Comics Pages prolongs your life. ~ Elayne Boosler

Incredibly, almost every hotel I ever played in Vegas was blown up shortly afterward: The Dunes, The Sands, The Landmark, The Aladdin, The Frontier, The Hacienda, The Stardust - all were imploded. ~ Elayne Boosler

My belief is that guns are too easy to get in America. My belief is that the NRA has bought much of our congress, to the point that guns are actually the only unregulated consumer product in America. Think about that. It's stunning. ~ Elayne Boosler

The course of action for which you argue in your papers, not to mention your private life, would make Craftsmen and Craftswomen no better than the tyrant deities we overthrew in that damn war." "Language, Elayne." "My apologies," she said after another sip of vodka. "One gets carried away when one feels one's dinner companion has made an inexcusable moral error." * ~ Max Gladstone

I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent. ~ Elayne Boosler

President Bush said he didn't want to renew the Assault Weapons Ban because it might 'infringe on hunters' rights'. Who needs an AK-47 machine gun to go hunting? Let me tell you guys something ... If it takes you 500 rounds to bring down a deer, I don't want you going to the bathroom in MY house! ~ Elayne Boosler

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone. ~ Elayne Boosler

Elayne could not help herself. Nynaeve wielding her tongue like a needle, Cerandin stubborn as two mules, and now this. She threw back her head and screamed with frustration.
When the sound died, it seemed as if the animals had quieted. Horse handlers stood about, staring at her. Coolly, she ignored them. Nothing could worm its way under her skin now. She was as calm as ice, perfectly in control of herself.
"Was that a cry for help," Birgitte said, tilting her head, "or are you hungry? I suppose I could find a wet nurse in - "
Elayne strode away with a snarl that would have done any of the leopards proud. ~ Robert Jordan

Real comedy can't be learned; it comes from a need for justice. The best who stand up, stand up for something. ~ Elayne Boosler

Pigs are smarter than dogs, and both are smarter than Congress. ~ Elayne Boosler

I have always put my own money into Tails of Joy. For years, every time a dog walked by, my husband would say, 'There goes our beach house.' ~ Elayne Boosler

I have no complaints about losing money I put in high-risk investments. I did some of that when I had real money; my informed choice, my measured gamble. ~ Elayne Boosler