Duh Quotes

We're [Ocean Conservancy group] trying to convince people it's a bad idea to catch fish faster than they can reproduce. That should be a duh, but it's still going on. ~ Mark Powell

It's worth noting here that dragons are magical creatures. It's also worth following that up with a big, fat, duh. ~ Daniel Younger

The book, Sadie ... Sometimes it's helpful to have someone other than yourself inside your head, because one can slap the other. Duh, the book! ~ Rick Riordan

When you're younger - duh - you don't really have the tools to deal with certain things in your life. ~ Scott Ian

What happens when a sheepdog gets bit by a wolf?"
"Duh. It becomes a wolf."
"No. It becomes a sheepdog that fights with the lawlessness and savagery of a wolf. ~ Karen Marie Moning

We crossed one of the subterranean rivers, then wound our wag through the library quarter and the Chamber of Birds.
(Carter says I should tell you why it's called that. It's a cave full of all sorts of birds. Again
duh. [Carter, why are you banging your head against the table?]) ~ Rick Riordan

The only freedom you truly have is in your mind, so use it. ~ M.T. Dismuke

Do you know what my name is, converted to binary code?"
He looked at her. "Is Tanzie your full name?"
"No. But it's the one I use."
He blew out his cheeks. "Um. Okay. 01010100 01100001 01101110 01111010 01101001 01100101."
"Did you say 1010 at the end? Or 0101?"
"1010. Duh. ~ Jojo Moyes

Tara. I'm a vampire," Pearl said.
"Yeah, whatever, and I'm queen of the sea."
"Your Marine Majesty, I'm a vampire," Pearl said.
Concentrating, she slid her fangs out. "Tara. Tara!" She curled back her lips to expose the points. "See"
Tara screamed.
"I won't hurt you," Pearl said. Calm down. Sheesh."
Tara continued to scream.
Pearl considered biting her merely to shut her up. Regrettably that would be counter productive. Studying her nails, she waited for Tara to quit screaming. She noticed that Tara didn't try to exit the car, which was an interesting choice.
"You aren't running away," Pearl said.
"Duh, it's raining outside," Tara said. ~ Sarah Beth Durst

Sometimes you really want to say "Duh," but you can't. It's a part of growing up, I guess. ~ Adam Rex

How did you come by this information? he asked.

I attended the Blood Council meeting, I replied.

There are vampires here?

Duh.

I'll take that as a yes.

A good supposition, I agreed. ~ Connie Suttle

Dear Grimm, we're not in Emerald anymore." I started to hyperventilate.

Rexi remained sprawled on her back. She barely opened an eye at my hysterics. "Duh. ~ Betsy Schow

A study in the Washington Post says that women have
better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the
authors of that study: 'Duh. ~ Conan O'Brien

Did you send an escort with my family?" "Yes. They're a target." "How did you know they would be leaving?" "My people saw them load up, called me, and I told them to follow." Duh. "Thank you." "You're welcome. I plan to hold them hostage until you sleep with me." I stumbled. He turned and gave me a brilliant, impossibly handsome smile. "Just kidding." Damn it. ~ Ilona Andrews

Cracking his knuckles, Cary dramatically prepared to open his fortune cookie. "Let's see. Will I be rich? Famous? About to
meet Mr. or Ms. Tall, Dark, and Tasty? Traveling to distant lands? What'd you guys get?"
"Mine's lame," I said. "In the end all things will be known. Duh. I didn't need a fortune to figure that out."
Gideon opened his and read, "Prosperity will knock on your door soon."
I snorted.
Cary shot me a look. "I know, right? You snatched someone else's cookie, Cross."
"He better not be anywhere near someone else's cookie," I said dryly.
Reaching over, Gideon plucked half of mine out of my fingers. "Don't worry, angel. Your cookie is the only one I want."
He popped it in his mouth with a wink.
"Gag," Cary muttered. "Get a room." He cracked his fortune with a flourish, and then scowled. "What the fuck?"
I leaned forward. "What's it say?"
"Confucius say," Gideon ad-libbed, "man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day."
Cary threw half his cookie at Gideon, who caught it deftly and grinned.
"Give me that." I snatched the fortune out from between Cary's fingers and read it. Then laughed.
"Fuck you, Eva."
"Well?" Gideon prodded.
"Pick another cookie."
Gideon smiled. "Pwned by a fortune."
Cary threw the other half of his cookie. ~ Sylvia Day

She took a second look at him, at his fancy tailored suit. Dark gray with pinstripes. Oh please, like she'd really believe he was a dom at all? "Gabrielle Anderson. Are you sure you're Master Marcus?"
"Why would you think I'm not Master Marcus?" he asked. Well, good grief. She waved a hand at him and kept the duh from slipping out. Just in case he really was Master Marcus. Maybe he hadn't changed yet or something. "The suit? Where are your leathers or latex or ... biker jacket or vest? And black? Did you forget to wear black?"
He stared for a second, as if she'd turned into a drooling idiot, and then simply roared. Deep, full laughter - amazing coming from someone who looked like he should have a stick up his ass. ~ Cherise Sinclair

If someone called me chubby, it would no longer be something that kept me up late at night. Being called fat is not like being called stupid or unfunny, which is the worst thing you could ever say to me. Do I envy Jennifer Hudson for being able to lose all that weight and look smokin' hot? Of course, yes. Do I sometimes look at Gisele Bundchen and wonder how awesome life would be if I never had to wear Spanx? Duh, of course. That's kind of the point of Gisele Bundchen. And maybe I will, once or twice, for a very short period of time. But on the list of things I want to do in my lifetime, that's not near the top. I mean, it's not near the bottom either. I'd say it's right above "Learn to drive a vespa," but several notches below "film a chase scene for a movie. ~ Mindy Kaling

I d-duh-don't know wh-why you even b-buh -bother b-buh-because in s-six y-yuh-years y-you're g-guh-going to be j-juh-just l-like - ""Don't say that."Something inside me went cold. "I'm never going to be like him. ~ Joe Schreiber

Tohr jacked forward his in his seat. "What the hell!"
As Lassiter's big body cut through the projection onto the screen, a gigantic pair of flapping breasts covered his face and chest. "Adventures in the Milfy Way. A true classic."
"It's porn!"
"Duh
"
"Okay, I am not sitting through this with you"
The angel, still standing up. shrugged. "Just wanted to make sure you know what you're missing. ~ J.R. Ward

Kill first and then say, Gosh, were you actually good? My duh! ~ Kresley Cole

Love, he realized, was like the daggers he made in his forge: When you first got one it was shiny and new and the blade glinted bright in the light. Holding it against your palm, you were full of optimism for what it would be like in the field, and you couldn't wait to try it out. Except those first couple of nights out were usually awkward as you got used to it and it got used to you.

Over time, the steel lost its brand-new gleam, and the hilt became stained, and maybe you nicked the shit out of the thing a couple of times. What you got in return, however, saved your life: Once the pair of you were well acquainted, it became such a part of you that it was an extension of your own arm. It protected you and gave you a means to protect your brothers; it provided you with the confidnece and the power to face whatever came out of the night; and wherever you went, it stayed with you, right over your heart, always there when you needed it.

You had to keep the blade up, however. And rewrap the hilt from time to time. And double-check the weight.

Funny...all of that was well, duh when it came to weapons. Why hadn't it dawned on him that matings were the same?

(From the thoughts of Vishous) ~ J.R. Ward

While I was deep in my fantasy, in yet another episode of perfect timing, Marlboro Man called from the road.
"Hey," he said, the mid-1990s spotty cell phone service only emphasizing the raspy charm of his voice.
"Oh! Just the person I want to talk to," I said, grabbing paper and a pen. "I have a question for you--"
"I bought your wedding present today," Marlboro Man interrupted.
"Huh?" I said, caught off guard. "Wedding present?" For someone steeped in the proper way of doing things, I was ashamed that a wedding gift for Marlboro Man had never crossed my mind.
"Yep," he said. "And you need to hurry up and marry me so I can give it to you."
I giggled. "So…what is it?" I asked. I couldn't even imagine. I hoped it wasn't a tennis bracelet.
"You have to marry me to find out," he answered.
Yikes. What was it? Wasn't the wedding ring itself supposed to be the present? That's what I'd been banking on. What would I ever get him? Cuff links? An Italian leather briefcase? A Montblanc pen? What do you give a man who rides a horse to work every day?
"So, woman," Marlboro Man said, changing the subject, "what did you want to ask me?"
"Oh!" I said, focusing my thoughts back to the reception. "Okay, I need you to name your absolute favorite foods in the entire world."
He paused. "Why?"
"I'm just taking a survey," I answered.
"Hmmm…" He thought for a minute. "Probably steak."
Duh. "Well, besides steak," I said.
"Steak ~ Ree Drummond

Cimil's eyes lit. "The Niccolo DiConti? What an honor!" Niccolo stood a little taller then. "Yes, I seek your assistance." Cimil rolled her eyes. "Well, no duh. You didn't abandon your queen's side, risking her wrath, to see me in my fabulous birthday suit. ~ Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

Facinating." He broke into a wide grin. "I've discovered something, Khufu. This is not Memphis, Egypt."
Khufu gave me a sideways look, and I could swear his expression meant, Duh.
"I've also discovered a new form of magic called blues music," the man continued. "And barbecue. Yes, you must try barbecue. ~ Rick Riordan

what's really annoying is that you don't read any Chewie fanfic. If you did you'd know that Wookiee was not a language, it was a species. There were at least three Wookiee languages. Rey learned Shriiwook from Wookiees who came to Jakku, but she didn't usually speak it because Wookiees mostly understood Basic."
I was laughing. "And why are you using the past tense?"
"Because all of this happened a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, Holmesy. You always use the past tense when talking about Star Wars. Duh. ~ John Green

I have an allergy to catching and throwing and kicking and dribbling of any kind. Noah is not a team player. Well, duh. Revolutionaries aren't team players. ~ Jandy Nelson

The administration says the American people want tax cuts. Well, duh. The American people also want drive-through nickel beer night. The American people want to lose weight by eating ice cream. The American people love the Home Shopping Network because it's commercial-free. ~ Will Durst

Tell me something about yourself." "I'd rather save the small talk." "There's no need to be rude, child, and believe me, I'm asking for a reason. Tell me something about yourself. Anything."
"I'm twenty-eight . . ."
He rejected that one out of hand. "Something personal. Something . . . interior. Tell me something you love."
I thought about it for a long few seconds, then said, "Ralph Lauren's summer line this year. Not the spring collection, which was way too pastel, and the winter was really crappy, all bland browns and grays. But he's got some good fabrics this summer, kind of a hot tangerine matched with dull red. Only he skirts, though. Hiscapri pants are for shit. Pockets? Who wants pockets on capri pants? What woman in her right mind puts extra fabric on her hips?"
There was a long and ringing silence. Patrick's eyes were wide and rather frightened.
He finally cleared
his throat and said, "Anything else apart from fashion?"
"What do you want me to say? Puppies? Fluffy kittens? Babies?"
"Let's try something simple. Your favorite food."
I rolled my eyes. "Chocolate." Duh . ~ Rachel Caine

What is evil?' you ask.
To which I reply, 'Who are you, Friedrich Nietzsche?'
To which you respond, 'Duh, wha? Me no understand.'
Then I put you back in your cage. ~ Josh Lieb

Music moves me - duh - and that is like having a window opening on a heightened reality, but the effect is fleeting: When the music ends, the magic, the uplifting, vanishes and the window slams shut. Words, on the other hand, by the nature of how they work, emotions evoked by dint of carefully laid out thoughts, have a more lingering effect. ~ Yann Martel

It's like, duh. Just when you thought there wasn't a dime's worth of difference between the two parties, the Republicans go and prove you're wrong. ~ Molly Ivins

Nobody's good. I hate it. I truly hate it. I mean, there's a lot of guys doing stuff I admire, but stand-up-wise I feel very alone. I really miss Bill Hicks. I wish I could have put him on my show. And I really miss Sam Kinison a lot. Richard Pryor's sick ... It's like you get here and then, oh wait a minute, there's nobody here any more. I feel like the guy who finally got into Studio 54, three years too late, Duh, where are all the famous people? ~ Chris Rock

First, singles can't learn everything from singles. Duh. Nor can young adults learn everything from other young adults. To think that we're an island unto ourselves and can operate healthily under that construct is both arrogant and misguided. For one thing, we just don't know enough. We need older, seasoned believers to get up in our business and tell us what's what. We need to know where you've walked and what you've learned from the journey. ~ Lisa Anderson

So you don't trust me: the guy who taught you everything you know. I'm guessing if you have her" - he jerked his thumb at Rae - "that's no accident. Luke's buddies sent her to trap you, and she thought she was doing the right thing, because, duh, she's already proven she's kinda gullible that way."

"Hey!" Rae said.

"You are. Own it. Fix it. Now, you guys have her, which means you escaped whoever sent her after you. You didn't escape without a fight, given that bruise I see rising on Daniel's jaw and the scrapes on Derek's knuckles. But you escaped, and you came back here, and you captured me. Who taught you all that?"

"Daniel and I had already started learning," Maya said, "during those weeks you were chasing us."

"Trial by fire," he said. "Followed by hardcore, hands-on tactical training. You got away scot-free from these guys because of my lessons. And yet now you don't trust I'm on your side?"

"Nope," Derek said.

"Sorry," Daniel said.

Maya crossed her arms and shook her head. I shrugged.

Moreno broke into a grin. "You guys do me proud. I'd give you all a hug, if that wasn't a little creepy. And if I was the hugging sort. But if you survive the rest of this, I'll take you all out for beer and ice cream."

"You don't need to be sarcastic," Rae muttered.

"Oh, but I'm not, and they know it. This is exactly what I trained them for. Trust no one except one another. Exclud ~ Kelley Armstrong

Don't duh me!" Puck snapped. "Trying to figure out what you're thinking from one day to the next takes more brains than I have."
Well, maybe you should stop. I'd hate to burn out that little peanut in your head. ~ Michael Buckley

But it's the science of the stars!"
"She thinks it's Satanic. You gave her daughter a pentagram."
"It's a natal chart, duh. You can't let ignorance trump science here, Miss Mary! ~ Felicia Day

What's the big idea?" Sabrina demanded.
"I declared war on you, remember?" Puck said.
Sabrina rolled her eyes. "Is this another one of your stupid pranks?"
Puck sniffed. "You have contaminated me with your puberty virus and you called my villainy into question."
"First of all, puberty isn't a virus," Sabrina said as she fought a tug of was with the Pegasus for her now rather damp pillow."Secondly, I'm sorry if I gave you the itty-bitty baby and boo-boo face. Do you wasnt me to give you a hug?"
Puck curled his lip in anger.
"Oh, now is the baby cranky. Perhaps we should put him down for a nap?"
"We'll see who's laughing soon enough," Puck said. "You see these flying horses?"
"Duh!"
"These horses have a very special diet," Puck said. "For the last two days they have eaten nothing but chili dogs and prune juice."
Sabrina heard a rumble coming from Puck's horse. It was so loud it drowned out the sound of its beating wings. Sabrina couldn't tell if the churn of the sound was worse for the Pegasus but it whined a bit and its eyes bulged nervously.
Puck continued. "Now, chili dogs and prune juice are a hard combination on a person's belly. It can keep a human being on the toilet for a week. Imagine what would happen if I fed chili dogs and prune juice to an eight-hundred-and-fifty-pound flying horse. Oh, wait a minute! You don't have to imagine it. I did feed chili dogs and prune juice to an eight-hundred-and-fifty-po ~ Michael Buckley

I said, Of course I'm full of questions, how can I find out the truth about stuff if I do't ask questions, DUH!" -Alex ~ Jack Cheng

I'm just having a bad day, that's all." "It seems like every day's a bad day with you." Shut up! Shut up! "It's leaf-bare," Sunfall began. Duh! ~ Erin Hunter

Loser loser Double loser whatever as if get the picture DUH! ~ Lisi Harrison

I think you need to water your plants," Garrett [Swopes, PI]called out to me [Charley Davidson, Grim Reaper and PI].
"Oh, they're fake." He was looking at the plants I had along my windowsill. Either that or my mold problem was getting out of hand. After a long pause I heard, "Those are fake?"
"Yeah, I had to make them look real. A little spray paint, a little lighter fluid, and voila! Fake dying plants."
"Why would you want fake dying plants?" he asked.
"Because if they were all thick and healthy-looking, anyone who knows me would realise they were fake."
"Yeah, but is that really the point?"
"Duh. ~ Darynda Jones

My forehead hit the table again with a thud. Ow. The words left me in a rush.
"I'm-fucking-the-married-closeted-father-of-my-only-close-friend-in-the-entire-world-and-his-wife-is-going-to-be-here-in-two-weeks."
I heard the hiss as Robin sucked his breath in between his teeth. "Ouch."
"Yeah." I sighed, my forehead rubbing against the table as I nodded miserably. At least he didn't try to deny the idiotic part.
"You know there's absolutely no way that can end well."
"Duh. ~ Amelia C. Gormley

Without ever exactly putting his mind to it, he's come to believe that loss is the standard trajectory. Something new appears in the world-a baby, say, or a car or a house, or an individual shows some special talent-with luck and huge expenditures of soul and effort you might keep the project stoked for a while, but eventually, ultimately, its going down. This is a truth so brutally self-evident that he can't fathom why it's not more widely percieved, hence his contempt for the usual public shock and outrage when a particular situation goes to hell. The war is fucked? Well, duh. Nine-eleven? Slow train coming. They hate our freedoms? Yo, they hate our actual guts! Billy suspects his fellow Americans secretly know better, but something in the land is stuck on teenage drama, on extravagant theatrics of ravaged innocence and soothing mud wallows of self-justifying pity. ~ Ben Fountain

So out of the six major subcontractors who buy from us, there are two left? Man, that's a turf war, right there."
"And whoever's pulling this shit is probably going to try to work his way up the food chain." Trez spoke up. "Which is why iAm and I think you should have someone with you twenty-four/seven until this shit shakes out."
Rehv seemed annoyed but he didn't disagree. "We got any intel on who's leaving all those bodies around?"
"Well, duh," Trez said. "People think it's you."
"Not logical. Why would I kill off my own buyers?"
Now Rehv was the one getting the hairy eyeball from the peanut gallery.
"Oh, come on," he said. "I'm not that bad. Well, okay, but only if someone fucks with me."

-Rehv & Trez ~ J.R. Ward

Mike's booming voice was downstairs. He was on the phone, as usual.
"M-m-m-my sister is gettin' married," I heard him announce to the person on the other end of the line. "And I am gonna s-s-s-sing at duh reception."
A long pause followed. I braced myself.
"Oh, p-p-p-prolly 'Elvira,'" Mike said.
Perfect, I thought, pulling myself out of bed. Mike singing "Elvira" at my reception. As if my scaly chin wasn't enough, I needed one more thought to terrorize me for the rest of my wedding way. ~ Ree Drummond

So neither is "the woman". They're both gay men. Duh. ~ Stephanie Perkins

A three-way?" Garrett asked. "You're kidding, right?"
"Ménage à trois," Jack said. "Don't knock it 'til you've tried it."
Britt turned to face them, her hand still on the doorknob. This conversation was starting to get interesting. The two men faced off like snorting bulls, ignoring her.
"We do her one at a time," Garrett said, "and I get her first. When the hell did you do a three-way?" He raised two fingers. "Follow-up question - two girls or two guys?"
Jack raised one finger. "College. Duh." Another finger. "Two girls. It was awesome."
"Well, I'm not doing a two-guy three-way," Garrett said. "No way."
Britt spoke up. "Afraid it'll turn you on?"
"The hell kinda question is that?" Garrett said. "I'm a hundred percent straight."
"Because you didn't seem like a guy who's insecure about his sexuality," she said. "You know, when we met at the club."
"Do not try to play me with that 'insecure' crap," Garrett said. ~ Pam McKenna, Faking It

First. Don't get drunk. Don't smoke anything."
"Duh. What are you, my dad? That's easy. I don't drink. We aren't even twenty-one. I seriously doubt anyone will be drinking at the Hodjwick house. And who smokes cigarettes anymore? So gross."
Dustin shook his head. "You are so backwards. I wasn't talking about cigarettes, and if you truly believe no one will be drinking at a high school party on a Saturday night then you are too much of a baby to even leave your own house. ~ Anne Eliot

White House political adviser Karl Rove was one of Robert Novak's sources for the 2003 disclosure of a CIA operative's identity, according to a story published today in "Duh" magazine. ~ Andy Borowitz

He's called you, like, four times in the past week. And seriously, you should be embarrassed. I've never met anyone who has as much phone sex as you two." My eyes narrowed on her. "How do you know about the phone sex?" "Duh. I pick up the phone and listen." I gaped at her. ~ Gena Showalter

You're Dionysus," I said. "The god of wine."
Mr. D rolled his eyes. "What do they say these days, Grover? Do the children say 'Well duh!'?"
Y-yes, Mr. D."
Then, well, duh! Percy Jackson. Did you think I was Aphrodite, perhaps?"
You're a god."
Yes, child."
A god. You. ~ Rick Riordan

According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than Hillary Clinton got for hers. Well, duh. At least his book has some sex in it. ~ Jay Leno

How did you get hired?" "I checked the box on the application that said "descendant" by mistake. I'm dyslexic and I thought it said something else."
"Okay," I said, thinking that was the worst employment application mistake ever. "And they all believe him to be the true ruler of Fallen?"
"All the Mei-Bettys do. They're, like, obsessed with it. It's a little like restaurant-of-the-body-snatchers, you know?"
"Then why do you work there?" I asked. "Clearly, you figured out something was wrong with them."
"Duh, but it pays well and they provide room and board. I sorta needed the job and a place to stay. It's got free wifi," she said, as if that explained everything. ~ H.D. Smith

I don't think I deserve him."

Audrey shrugged. "Probably not. But he doesn't deserve you, either. Maybe that's why you're perfect for each other."

"Do you think it could last?"

"Who cares?"

"I care."

Audrey sucked up her drink and tossed the empty cup onto the ground. There was no way we were going to be able to hide the fact that we'd had a party from Mom. Fuck it.

"You like bacon, right?" Audrey asked.

"Duh."

"So, when you're offered bacon for breakfast, do you refuse because you're worried about what's going to happen when it's gone?"

"No."

"No!" Audrey smacked me in the chest. "You eat that bacon and you love it because it's delicious. You don't fret over whether you'll ever have bacon again. You just eat the bacon." Audrey stood in front of me and held my face between her hands. Her expression was so solemn that it was difficult not to laugh. "Eat the bacon, Henry. ~ Shaun David Hutchinson

What colors are the eyes of Anubis?"

"Brown...Duh. ~ Rick Riordan

Could you do a glamour and turn into something smaller?" I asked it. "Preferably not a chain, since it's no longer the 1990s?" The sword didn't reply (duh), but I imagined it was humming at a more interrogative pitch, like, Such as what? "I dunno. Something pocket-size and innocuous. A pen, maybe?" The sword pulsed, almost like it was laughing. I imagined it saying, A pen sword. That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. ~ Rick Riordan

If you two are starting a detective agency, I want in," said Selene, adjusting her ball cap.

"Well, duh," said Eli, beaming at her.

"And we're going to need a name," Selene said. "Something good and catchy."

"You're right." Eli scratched his chin. "How about the Arkwell Detective Agency. The A.D.A."

Selene wrinkled her nose. "Sounds too much like a chemical or something."

"What about Booker and Associates?"

I rolled my eyes. "It's not all about you, you know?"

Eli grinned. "Says who?"

"I think we should call it Selene Investigations."

"No, Nightmare Investigations."

"Dreamer Investigations."

"The Dream Team."

"How about Magic Eyes? You know, like private eyes, only for magic."

"Corny much? ~ Mindee Arnett

Gavin, come on. Mommy doesn't feel good," I complained.
He stopped bouncing and leaned forward to sprawl his body out on top of me, putting his face right up to mine.
"Do you want me ta' beat up your friends, Mommy?" he whispered conspiratorially.
I removed my hands from my head and opened my eyes to look at him.
"What are you talking about, Gav?"
He brought his hands up and put them on my chest, resting his chin on top.
"Your friends, Mommy. The ones who maded you sick," he said in a voice that clearly screamed, "Duh. ~ Tara Sivec

People want to be happy, and all the other things they want are typically meant to be a means to that end. ~ Daniel M. Gilbert

There are four cheeses! It's a 'Quattro Formaggi' Pizza!"
"A 'Four-Cheese' Pizza? Well, duh. That's a standard pizza topping, even in Italy. There's nothing special or even unusual about that! So why the big reaction?!"
"Because the four cheeses were blended together and balanced with absolute perfection!
The deliciousness of most cheeses is rooted in their mellow richness and sharp saltiness. With those flavors as his baseline... he took four cheeses and balanced them so that their quirks and strengths play off each other brilliantly! That sharp, salty battle is a stark contrast to the thick sweetness of the shigureni beef- the gap between them creating a full-bodied and indescribably delicious flavor!
Then there's the texture contrast of the gooey cheese and the crisply fragrant crust..."
"And you can't forget the tingly bite of the black pepper sprinkled across the top. What a marvelous accent! All the various flavors blossom to their full potential inside the mouth, each making the salty cheese stand out more and more..."
We came out of the blocks with the bitterness of the artichokes...
then we jumped to the cynarine-boosted sweetness of the shigureni beef...
... and ended with a leap to a salty Quattro Formaggi Blend! ~ Yuto Tsukuda

Yeah, I know, but word came from Artemis herself that she wanted him here. Looks like we're having a psycho reunion this week ... Oh wait, it's Mardi Gras. Duh. (Talon) ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

Mrs. Ishida smirked at the other parents. "Told you she could see demons." Ayden gaped.
"You knew?"
"Duh," Mr. Ishida snorted.
"Why does no one say anything?" I said.
"Plausible deniability," they all chorused. "Oh."
A & E Kirk (2014-05-26). Drop Dead Demons: The Divinicus Nex Chronicles: Book 2 (Divinicus Nex Chronicles series) (p. 510). A&E Kirk. Kindle Edition. ~ A&E Kirk

What am I doing here?
I haven't talked to my dad in two days. He's probably moved from worry to sheer panic because I haven't come home. And maybe he's right to be afraid. Maybe I should be more afraid. I had sex with a guy I barely know. Followed him into the middle of nowhere because of it. Even after I found out about the gun. Even after Lindsey didn't go home. He swears he won't hurt me, but his past tells a different, violent story, and I don't know what to believe. I rationalized everything, telling myself that I earned this time away from home. But now, with too much time to do nothing but think, I wonder if I was just plain selfish. Just . . . stupid. ~ Trish Doller

You'll be okay driving home?" "Duh," I feel miffed that he'd pat me like a child, but also weird and glowy on the inside in places I don't even wanna think about. "I'm like a NASCAR driver. Minus the millions of dollars." "Shame, really. Imagine how many more people you could annoy if you were a millionaire." "At least ten whole people. And their grandmas. ~ Sara Wolf

I'm just trying to do the right thing. I'm a vampire."
"Duh."
"And you're not."
"Again: duh."
"I could hurt you. I could lose control."
"If you were anyone else, I'd have kneecapped you by now. ~ Alyxandra Harvey

I stand humbled on bended knee but, of course, the response to that would be 'Duh!' And to be given that incredible honor means that I represent the piss and vinegar, the energy, the defiance, the musicality of the Funk Brothers and Motown and Mitch Ryder and Bob Seger, Brownsville Station and Grand Funk Railroad and Eminem and Jack White and Kid Rock - are you kidding me? ~ Ted Nugent

I'm probably the only sixteen-year-old girl in a three hundred mile radius who knows how to distinguish between a poltergeist from an actual ghost (hint: If you can disrupt it with nitric acid, or if it throws new crap at you every time, it's a poltergeist), or how to tell if a medium's real or faking it (poke 'em with a true iron needle). I know the six signs of a good occult store (Number One is the proprietor bolts the door before talking about Real Business) and the four things you never do when you're in a bar with other people who know about the darker side of the world (don't look weak). I know how to access public information and talk my way around clerks in courthouses (a smile and the right clothing will work wonders). I also know how to hack into newspaper files, police reports, and some kinds of government databases (primary rule: Don't get caught. Duh). ~ Lilith Saintcrow

You think food, dancing, and sex is the answer to everything.
Everything worth anything, duh! ~ Nancy Gideon

She narrowed her eyes and concentrated on his mouth. Name. He wanted her name. She had to think about it for a second before she remembered. Great. She must have hit her head. Which, duh, explained the headache. ~ Larissa Ione

The French announced today that they would not help us remove Saddam from Iraq. Well Duh! They didn't even help us remove Hitler
from France. ~ Jay Leno

It's in the Bible. God created it. He did not create gay marriage. He created man and woman marriage
duh! ~ Victoria Jackson

Myth: A stake through the heart will kill a vampire.
Truth: Well, duh. It would kill anyone. ~ Kimberly Pauley

Richie saw the empty street where nothing moved and suddenly burst into tears. Bill looked at him for a moment and then put his arms around Richie and hugged him. Richie clutched at Bill's neck and hugged him back. He wanted to say something clever, something about how Bill should have tried the Bullseye on the Werewolf, but nothing would come out. Nothing except sobs. "D-Don't, R-Richie," Bill said, "duh-duh-duh-h-h - " Then he burst into tears himself and they only hugged each other on their knees in the street beside Bill's spilled bike, and their tears made clean streaks down their cheeks, which were sooted with coaldust. ~ Stephen King

What are you? (Nick)
Completely perplexed. You remember everything that happened. (Acheron)
Yeah. Duh. Not like you're going to forget the killer zombie stalkers and psyched-out kitchen staff. What kind of freak show is this? (Nick) ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

I've worn Niki's pants for two days now. I thought a third day in the same clothes might be pushing it."

Ian shrugged with indifference. "It might send Derian through the roof, but it doesn't bother me. Wear what you want to wear."

Eena wrinkled her nose at him. "Do you really feel that way or are you trying to appear more laissez-faire than Derian?"

"More laissez-faire?"

"Yes. That's a real word."

"Two words actually," he grinned. "Laissez faire et laissez passer, le monde va de lui même!" He coated the words with a heavy French accent. Eena gawked at him.

"Since when do you speak French?"

"I don't." Ian chuckled. "But I did do some research in world history the year I followed you around on Earth. Physics was a joke, but history - that I found fascinating."

Slapping a hand against her chest, Eena exclaimed, "I can't believe it! Unbeknownst to me, Ian actually studied something in high school other than the library's collection of sci-fi paperbacks!"

He grimaced at her exaggerated performance before defending his preferred choice of reading material. "Hey, popular literature is a valuable and enlightening form of world history. You would know that if you read a book or two."

She ignored his reproach and asked with curiosity, "What exactly did you say?"

"In French?"

"Duh, yes."

"Don't 'duh' me, you could easily have been referring to ~ Richelle E. Goodrich

Next, it was time to tell my brother Mike.
"Hey, Mike!" I announced. "Guess what?"
"Wh-wh-wh-what?" he asked.
"I'm staying here! I'm not moving away!" I said. "Aren't you excited?"
Mike thought for a minute, then asked, "C-c-c-can you drive me to duh fire station now?"
Finally I broke the news to my oldest brother. A resident of Chicago himself, he'd been looking forward to having a sister nearby.
"Have you lost your f*&%#ing mind?" he said. He'd never been one to mince words.
"Yes," I conceded, attempting to defuse him. "I do believe I have."
"What the hell are you going to do back home? You'll shrivel up and die there, it's so backward!" To my commodity-trading, world-traveling brother, any city with a population under three million was backward.
"What's the story with this guy, anyway?"
"Oh, you don't know him," I said. "We've only been going out about a month or so."
My brother's practical side came out swinging. "You've only known him for a month? What the hell does he do?"
"Well," I began, bracing myself. "He's…a cowboy."
"Oh, Christ." My brother exhaled loudly. ~ Ree Drummond

If toting the standard equipment is not what male or female, exactly what does?
well, duh, its barrettes.
At least thats what kids think it is your clothing, hairstyle, toy choice, favorite color.
Slippery stuff, that. You can see how perilously easy would be to err ~ Peggy Orenstein

Olive finished the doughnut, wiped the sugar from her fingers, sat back and said, "You're starving."
The girl didn't move, only said, "Uh-duh."
"I'm starving too," Olive said. The girl looked over at her. "I am," Olive said. "Why do you think I eat every doughnut in sight?"
"You're not starving," Nina said in disgust.
"Sure I am. We all are. ~ Elizabeth Strout

Have you never outright sinned, then?"
"I disobeyed Patti when she told me to stay away from you."
"Right. I remember that one. So just once, then?"
"There was this other time..." I thought about the two girls in the bathroom and stopped myself, blanching.
"Yes? Go on," he urged.
He watched the road, but excitement underscored his tone. I rubbed my dampening palms down my shorts.
"The night we met, I sort of...well, I flat-out told a lie. On purpose."
I thought he was trying not to smile.
"To me?" he asked.
"No. About you."
Now he unleashed that devastating smile of his, crinkling the corners of his eyes. My face was aflame.
"Continue. Please."
"There were these girls in the bathroom talking about you, and for some reason, I don't know why, it upset me, and I told them...thatyouhadanSTD."
I covered my face in shame and he burst into laughter. I thought he might drive off the road.
Well, it was kind of funny in an ironic way, because he couldn't keep a disease anyhow, even if he had gotten one. I found myself beginning to giggle, too, mostly out of relief that he wasn't offended.
"I wondered if you were ever going to tell me!" he said through spurts of hilarity.
Duh! Of course he'd been listening! My giggles increased, and it felt so nice that we kept going until we were cracking up. It was the good kind of laughter: the soul-cleansing, ab-crunching, lose-control-of-yourself kind.
We started c ~ Wendy Higgins

I know all the new phrases: 'cowabunga,' 'radical,' cat's pajamas,' 'duh,' and 'hey, homie don't play that. ~ Si Robertson

emmersmacks: E youre going to be around for the Dog Days livewatch right

MirkerLurker: Duh. The day I miss Dog Days is the day I eat my own foot.

Apocalypse_Cow: *takes screenshot*

Apocalypse_Cow: let it be known on this day that if eliza ever misses dog days, she will eat her own foot.

emmersmacks: Masterminds would love that one

emmersmacks: Creator of Monstrous Sea eats own foot over teen soap opera

Apocalypse_Cow: tacky teen soap opera.

MirkerLurker: Tacky teen soap opera? Yes. Wildly entertaining? Also yes.

emmersmacks: Amen

...

Apocalypse_Cow: but seriously tho, dog days is the worst

emmersmacks: Not worse than the second season when Chris got with Ben

Apocalypse_Cow: chris got with jason in the second season, not ben

emmersmacks: Says the guy who doesnt watch Dog Days

Apocalypse_Cow: . . .

emmersmacks: Ah how the mighty have fallen ~ Francesca Zappia

Duh, Winning!!!!


(hhahaha) ~ Charlie Sheen

TimeTrap raised her head and looked pointedly at St. John. It was a dimensional portal, silly. Duh. ~ J.T. Bock

I once tried to raise two tomato plants, and they died in spite of the fact I fertilized them every morning. Duh. ~ Clyde Edgerton

When the game ended, Mike laid down his control paddle. "So you've met the Nordic goddess, right?"
Aria glanced up at him warily. "Excuse me?"
Mike rolled his eyes. "Duh. Klaudia, which I'm pretty sure is Scandinavian for sex vixen. ~ Sara Shepard

I hate the attitude of, 'oh we already have a Lydia Lunch, so we do we need a Bikini Kill.' Well, there's like 2 hundered million all-male bands writting 'baby baby I love you, let me drag you around on my ankle.' Is that enough already? Duh! ~ Kathleen Hanna

Cat's friends seemed like very sweet girls," Dad says.
"They were the bomb," I say fervently, and he looks back at me with raised eyebrows.
"'The bomb' is a good thing? Like 'sick'?
"Duh," I reply, and Dad lets out a sigh.
"Thirteen-year-olds should come with subtitles," he says, turning onto our street. ~ Maya Gold

My mom is all about risk vs. reward. So for example, if I were to go out on a date and have unprotected sex, the risk/reward would be possible STD for me vs. possible grandchild for her. Duh! Bring on the grandchildren! ~ Jarod Kintz

Tattitude: Wow, Jeff, who's the babe?
Dangerous_pie: Your mom.
Tattitude: No, the one three feet away from you.
Dangerous_pie: Oh, that's Lindsey Abraham. I had her flown in from California for my personal amusement. You can look at her if you want, though.
Tattitude: Sweet. But have you talked to her yet?
Dangerous_pie: Uh-huh. We're really close.
Tattitude: Intro me?
Dangerous_pie: After class.
Tattitude: Duh.
Just then, I noticed that a large shadow had fallen over my screen. I couldn't even bear to look up as Mr. Laurenzano said, "Thaddeus Ibsen, Lindsey Abraham. Lindsey, Thaddeus. There, you've been introduced. NOW can I teach some science?"
Wow, it looked like this was going to be my year for unusual teachers. ~ Jordan Sonnenblick

I'm having the weirdest sense of deja vu right now," said the green caterpiller.
Duh!" said the blue caterpiller. "Do you think, just maybe, that's because you predicted this?"
Oh, yeah."
The Looking Glass Wars ~ Frank Beddor

Reality took forever - the underwater way people walked and sent their voices wobbling through the air, how printed words lay inert like bugsplat, all manifesting the basic DUH of the physical plane. By the time he decided to go anywhere he wondered why he wasn't there already. As soon as he sent an email he felt he should already have the reply. And learning any fact, he was annoyed not to have known it already, because whenever anything happened, the conversation around it had already trended and backlashed and been reexamined and swallowed and shat and reswallowed and reshat in a thousand places online, until all thinking felt redundant. We needed brain-to-brain; only then would we catch up to real time. Right now everything progressed so slowly that by the time we arrived at the future it was the present again. ~ Tony Tulathimutte

Do you ever wonder why a battered wife stays with her husband? Why people continue to spend money they don't have even though they know they are deeply in debt? Why some keep jamming food in their mouths when they're already overweight? Why do people stay in bad relationships? Why are some people still racist? Why do people still drink and drive? You'd think the response to all these things would be obvious and cause them to scream, "Duh, of course I need to change this." Why do we keep doing church the same way even when we know it's in critical decline? Why do paid church leaders spend so much time preparing for a 90-minute service for Christians who have heard it all before? Why do we still call our message the good news when it clearly seems to be bad news or no news to Sojourners? Why do we think Pharisees are only found in the Bible? Why is returning to a simpler form of ancient church so hard to grasp? ~ Hugh Halter

I was having tea with a guy I was introduced to, about the possibility of working with him at his production company. He asked me if I'd written anything, and I said yes. Then he said 'why don't you just shoot it'? And I thought, "duh!" Best advice I ever got. ~ Chika Anadu

My town was all-white and shut down Section 8 housing because they didn't want black people to move into the town. And I thought that was wrong - duh. ~ Cecily McMillan

Peter pushed off from the roof and stalked a few feet away, his back to her. "Please tell me this is all some kind of a sick joke."
"It's the truth. All of it. That's why hunters are after me."
"How did they find out?" Peter asked, swiveling toward her now.
"I think Beck ratted me out. I went to his house this morning and told him what had happened. He was furious, Peter. I've never seen anyone that angry."
"Duh! Now there's a surprise," her friend replied sarcastically. "I saw the way he looked at you at your dad's funeral. Of course he'd be mad. You're about the only one on the planet who doesn't realize how he feels about you."
"He never said anything," she retorted.
"Hey, we guys don't blurt out that kind of stuff," he replied. "It's against the man code. Beck may never have said how he felt, but everything he did for you should have been a big clue. I mean, come on, how slow are you?"
She glowered at her friend. "I figured he was doing it because of my father."
"Maybe, but the guy is really into you, Riley."
"No way. If he'd liked me, he wouldn't have blown me off and - "
"Ancient history, girl!" he countered. "You were, what, fifteen? Your dad would have torn him apart if he'd touched you. Beck had no other choice."
"He didn't have to be so mean."
"God, will you listen to yourself?" Peter retorted.
"You have no idea how much he hurt me," she shot back.
"Give it up, will you? You're my best friend, but ~ Jana Oliver