Dudes Quotes

What, you want me to throw you a pride parade for figuring out you like dudes? I don't give a shit who you fuck, so long as it's not me. ~ Eden Finley

There is always a man eager to explain my mental illness to me. They all do it so confidently, motioning to their Hemingway and Bukowski bookshelf as they compare my depression to their late-night loneliness. There is always someone that rejected them that they equate their sadness to and a bottle of gin (or a song playing, or a movie) close by that they refer to as their cure. Somehow, every soft confession of my Crazy that I hand to them turns into them pulling out pieces of themselves to prove how it really is in my head.

So many dudes I've dated have faces like doctors ready to institutionalize
and love my crazy (but only on Friday nights.)

They tell their friends about my impulsive decision making and how I "get them" more than anyone they've ever met but leave out my staring off in silence for hours and the self-inflicted bruises on my cheeks.

None of them want to acknowledge a crazy they can't cure.

They want a crazy that fits well into a trope and gives them a chance to play Hero. And they always love a Crazy that provides them material to write about.

Truth is they love me best as a cigarette cloud of impossibility, with my lipstick applied perfectly and my Crazy only being pulled out when their life needs a little spice.

They don't want me dirty, having not left my bed for days. Not diseased. Not real.

So they invite me over when they're going through writer's block but don't answer m ~ Lora Mathis

Come on Geena. Dude's slippery as hell. He could talk his way out of a blow job in the Oval Office. ~ Jody Gehrman

It's not simply that these "cool dudes" deny climate science because it threatens to upend their dominance-based worldview. It is that their dominance-based worldview provides them with the intellectual tools to write off huge swaths of humanity, and indeed, to rationalize profiting from the meltdown. ~ Naomi Klein

He'd gone too far. He didn't usually talk to women so frankly. Not with them both fully clothed anyway. ~ Amy Andrews

You're supposed to be the damsel in distress. We're supposed to save you." She snorted and pulled her hand away. "Times have changed." "But what does that make us? Two dudes in distress? Pathetic. ~ Jennifer Foehner Wells

Hmmm. Odd. Okay." He took Nick's hand.
Nick pulled back. "Dude, don't touch me."
"Why not?"
Why not? Really? He had to explain stranger-danger and personal space? Where did this guy live that he didn't understand grabbing another dude's body parts without an invitation was a first class ticket to a major butt-whipping event.
"Look, I don't know you, and we're not dating. So keep your hands off me."
Again with the annoyed noise. "Then how can I lead you if I can't touch you when you can't see?"
"How 'bout you don't lead me anywhere?" Nick was beginning to like the darkness. Unlike Asmodeus, it was quiet and rather peaceful. And it definitely didn't give him a headache.
"But you said you couldn't see."
Nick was aghast at the way this guy's mind worked. "That doesn't mean you can touch me."
"I'm so confused. ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

So it's actually way easier just to humor these men who grew up watching movies where the girl doesn't like the hero until he's been persistent enough to make her like him. This is the grease that keeps the gears of the heteronormativity machine spinning, obviously, but it's just easier to slip out of an awkward situation with an awkward guy than it is to call out the misogyny inherent in what he's doing. It's a tough spot to be in, but also this is coming from an angry dyke who's also trans and who, at one point, had society try to use her as a vessel for that kinda of misogyny. ~ Imogen Binnie

Dudes who look dangerous should just be dangerous. Period. The end. They should not be dangerous and beautiful all at the same time. It leaves the universe out of balance, and it makes me do stupid things like stare. ~ Cora Carmack

Mel Gibson is losing it. I don't know how people still supporting this dude's movies like it's all good. That dude is nuts. All you gotta do is shut him down and don't support any of his movies. ~ J. B. Smoove

On my Instagram, lots of people tag me in photos of just dudes with beards, and they're like, 'Oh my God, I met Chet Faker' and I'm like, 'That doesn't even look like me.' ~ Chet Faker

Look, it's not you. It's me, and my inability to dig dirty dudes. ~ Kresley Cole

It should be if you're a good singer and a good songwriter, you should have your spot. You get everybody trying to release the prettiest guy, but that doesn't mean they're the best artist. Most of the time the true artists are just normal old dudes. ~ Randy Houser

There's nothing worse - I don't like listening to actors talk about the process, especially when - I mean, for me I've played a lot of guys, dudes, boys in a sense and this was a challenge for me just to play that official character. ~ Scott Speedman

It happens when I get really excited. The more excited I get, the more I vibrate."
"Now there's a thought," Lor says.
"If you mean what I think you mean, you want to shut the fuck up and never think it again," Ryodan says.
"Just saying, boss," Lor says. "You can't tell me you didn't think it, too."
I never understand half of what these dudes are talking about and don't care. "You can touch me if you want to," I say to Lor magnanimously. I'm so pumped on adrenaline and excitement that I'm feeling downright sociable. I poke one of my shoulders toward him. "Check me out. It feels really cool."
All heads swivel my way, then they look back at Ryodan.
"He doesn't own my fecking shoulder. Why you looking at him? ~ Karen Marie Moning

Subject: Challenge accepted
Mr. Zaccadelli,
If you keep this up, I'm going to report you to the workplace hotline for harassment. They don't take kindly to tattooed, guitar-playing dudes making advances toward sweet, innocent girls. Game ON.
Sincerely,
The Girl You Will Never Have
P.S. Esquire? You are so full of shit. ~ Chelsea M. Cameron

I feel like now if you're going to start a band you have to have an Instagram full of yourself looking a certain way, lined up like five dudes in mugshot alley, hanging out by the bridge or up against the wall, or "We're in a library for some reason!" ~ Babatunde Adebimpe

Probably just as well. Maybe with all that testosterone walking out the door, the insane urge to hump Lincoln Quinn's leg would walk right out as well. Because that was exactly how she felt every time she looked at him.
Like she was in heat.
Within minutes, the restaurant had emptied out to only a few non-team wedding guests. Her nemesis was nowhere to be seen, and Em congratulated herself on her self-control as she eased off the bar stool.
Embarrassing leg-humping avoided - bravo! ~ Amy Andrews

The car was some kind of Porsche and the door stood open and beckoning, like a gold embossed invitation to sin
If she could survive a ride with angel-lips in his penis car then surely she'd be immune to him in any situation? ~ Amy Andrews

Okay, listen up, dudes. We have to book. Yesterday, when I find you guys are, like, AWOL? I, like, freak. Yelling at everybody–where are they, why did you let them leave–the hotel people are, like, whaaaa? Anyway, I pack up all your stuff, figuring I may never see the place again, and down in the lobby I find my man Arif. I'm, like, help me, and he takes all of our stuff to this launch–and then we're halfway across the sea when Arif gets this radio message, and he's all excited, but I don't know what he's saying until he's, like, 'POLICE!' in English. And we see these cop cars and somebody's getting a big old boat, so we're, like, sayonara, only in Indonesian, and we tool out into this boat-traffic jam to try to loose them, and I'm hearing these radio reports that are half English–there's been a fire and somebody's dead, yada yada, and I'm totally wigging out–Why did you do that? Why did you and your sister leave me in a hotel without even a note? ~ Peter Lerangis

She's an old lady," Barron says. "And she's been locked up for years. Let her have some fun. She needs to blow off steam. Seduce old dudes. Lose money at canasta. ~ Holly Black

I live around dudes all the time so I've heard millions of stories about how they go through a breakup and then the girl turns absolutely crazy. I always thought growing up like: "No, I won't be like that - when I go through a breakup I'll be cool." ~ Hayley Williams

I always saw two sides of life. I saw the dudes who would be the gangsta, big-time guys on the block, but would also be dedicated fathers. It was kind of weird to see that dual story that everybody has. ~ Lupe Fiasco

He gazes at the people in the truck. "Are you driving back with them?
Smiling, I nod. "Yes."
"With a bunch of dudes?"
"Yes."
"Is that safe?"
My smile expands into a face consuming grin. " I am safer in that truck than I am anywhere else. ~ Jessica Sorensen

Ever since Mike Tyson was champ, twenty-something dudes have microwaved nachos, popped opened Natty Lights, watched sharks do unspeakable things on TV, and whispered a billion 'Whoa, dudes.' ~ Stephen Rodrick

I describe me sound as international: reggae, pop, rap, R&B all in one. I think I have my own style. I can't really even describe it. People say, "What type of genre is your music?" It's Sean Kingston genre. I have my own genre. No disrespect to no artist or dudes out there. I feel like I am my own person. I am doing my own thing. ~ Sean Kingston

Somewhere along the line, a concert became a variety show. It was no longer enough for four dudes to play together in front of some guitar amps. Costume changes, an army of dancers, and Broadway theatrics suddenly became standard for a 'concert.' ~ Shawn Amos

I think sometimes the stories we need are the ones about taking the hobbits to Isengard and dog-human dudes with space heelies and trashy King Arthurs and gay ice-skating animes and Zuko redemption arcs and space princesses with found families and galaxies far, far away. We need those stories, too. Stories that tell us that we can be bold and brash and make mistakes and still come out better on the other side. ~ Ashley Poston

I hate the whole reluctant sex-symbol thing. It's such bull. You see these dudes greased up, in their underwear, talking about how they don't want to be a sex symbol. ~ Ben Affleck

You think Tide is better, or All?'
'Which has a prettier box?' I ask.
'I don't want a pretty box. I want a dude box.'
Uh-huh,' I deadpan. 'You want a dude box of laundry detergent.'
'Yes, I do.'
'Good luck with that. ~ E. Lockhart

On cable news (with a few exceptions), if there's a panel to discuss immigration, that panel is composed of rich white dudes, and the occasional lady. A panel on the poor? Rich white dudes. An hour on racism in America? White dudes and rich Michael Steele. A panel on women's rights? They literally make the women leave the building. It's no wonder most people in this country are politically apathetic. No one is speaking for them. ~ Allison Kilkenny

You guys, stop misattributing white nationalist quotes to me. Like, super seriously, it's not cool, dudes. ~ Voltaire

The United Nations research states that men with the longest life expectancy are from Japan, followed by Switzerland. I am rather surprised at this result as since time immemorial we have been doing the Karva Chauth fast to make sure our men have long lives, and the results should have definitely shown by now. I scan the list, confident that in this chart of life expectancy, the Indian man must definitely be in the top 5. Nope! There are 146 countries above us where the men have longer lifespans, and the biggest blow is that even with four wives who don't fast for them, the Arab men outlive our good old Indian dudes. ~ Twinkle Khanna

It's okay to be messed up, because there are five other dudes who are just as messed up as you. ~ Gerard Way

The English language was carefully, carefully cobbled together by three blind dudes and a German dictionary ~ Dave Kellett

Mom stopped reading, closed the book, and started laughing her ass off. Behind her a bunch of old dudes reading newspapers looked up at her, all disapproving, like she'd just farted or something. ~ Walter Sorrells

The Hulk has an awesome superpower. He turns into this giant monster that can eliminate several dudes at once. ~ Ty Simpkins

I'd love to spit some Beechnut in that dude's eye and shoot him with my ole forty-five. ~ Hank Williams, Jr.

I always try and tell dudes that are younger than me is that because of the Internet everyone can just be by themselves doing something, but the importance of a group is being able to have some sort of competition. ~ Earl Sweatshirt

Scrubbed, combed, as tidy as two dudes setting off on a double date, they went out to the car. ~ Truman Capote

A girl gets up from her corner table, wiping it down with napkins, and before I can charge to see if she's leaving, two vultures--excuse me, dudes in suits on their lunch break--swarm in and take the table. ~ Becky Albertalli

Dude's got a look on his face like somebody just shoved a sweet-tart up his ass. ~ John Knudsvig

I tell you these massacres have to come. They have to. There's bad dudes selling the Blood. Can you believe? Selling the Blood. Least they were. I expect they're played out too and running for their lives now like everybody else. ~ Anne Rice

Oh, did I mention I'm a stripper?
Some dudes prefer "male entertainer" or "exotic dancer," but I call a spade a spade. I spend two nights a week shaking my crotch in happy women's faces and stripping down to a G-string. Ergo, I'm a stripper. ~ Sarina Bowen

We carry adolescence around in our bodies all our lives. We get through the Car Crash Age alive and cruise through our early twenties as cool dudes, wily, dashing, winsome ... shooting baskets, the breeze, the moon, and then we try to become caring men, good husbands, great fathers, good citizens. ~ Garrison Keillor

Some might call my trepidation at the idea of motherhood "selfishness" - I would call it "agency" - but those people are probably either (1) dudes or (2) self-satisfied professional parents, and I'm not sure I care enough about their opinions that I wouldn't just agree with them and shrug my shoulders in shared chagrin. ~ Anna Holmes

People are more used to seeing men who are masters at an instrument than women. When people say, 'Oh, she plays like a dude,' it's usually dudes who are the ones saying it. They're saying, 'Oh, she's as good as us.' Of course, that's a stupid statement. It's totally stereotypical to say, 'We have an advantage on this, and if anyone else can do it well, it's only because they're like us.' I think more men are starting to learn that this attitude is totally hollow and based in imagination. As more women are involved in music, this kind of thing gets said less and less. ~ Esperanza Spalding

I'm not saying I wouldn't play a seven-string. It's just that I've never needed one. Most dudes who play seven-strings don't sound any different than someone playing a six-string that's tuned down. ~ Dimebag Darrell

I been seeing newspapers every Sunday morning, white dudes be in there in their drawers, never having no bulge in they drawers. Smiling at you. If I ain't have no bulge, I wouldn't be smiling! ~ Eddie Murphy

What is being black? It's making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that's seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you'll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude's. ~ John Mayer

Rocker dudes don't have a lot of swagger. ~ Demi Lovato

If you ever see shitty ass rock dudes in shitty ass rock bands asking you to show them your tist for backstage passes, I want you to spit right in their fucking faces and yell 'FUCK YOU! ~ Gerard Way

Myrnin," she said. "He didn't show up at the rendezvous." "And? Dude's crazy, in case you didn't notice recently. He probally went of the chase butterflys or something ~ Rachel Caine

I'm not enthused by these rap dudes.
All in they videos, posin' half nude, with all of them tattoos,
Til I blacken they eyes and have them lookin' like raccoons. ~ Trife Diesel

I have noticed when you get a bunch of dudes in a room together, and you just have one woman or two women, the dudes will bro out. And the woman won't get heard. ~ Rachel Bloom

My heroes were Eddie Van Halen - especially after Van Halen I, II, III, and IV - Randy Rhoads, Ace Frehley and dudes like that. My brother played drums and we jammed in the garage and started writing our own stuff. ~ Dimebag Darrell

It seemed like a joke, how much all of these dudes looked alike, like living was so hard it just erased your features, rubbed out anything distinctive. ~ Gillian Flynn

Unshaven dudes in hoodies and ski caps look so hip and cool, until they too close to a grocery cart full of dented cans ... ~ Dana Gould

Standing near the wall, surrounded by what looked like a group of total fratty jockish dudes, was a man. A very fine man. He looked a few years younger than me, with brown hair that fell all over his head in an artfully messy way that looked like he might have just rolled out of bed, but you knew was done on purpose. He had thick, pretty lips that were made for sin, stretching into a delicious smile that showed even teeth. Dimples. Fuck me up, we have dimples! Deep, deep dimples that I wanted to put my tongue into. I blushed a fire red, but I didn't stop my depraved up and down assessment. ~ T.J. Klune

I hate it when you really think you're getting something good ... and you don't listen to your dudes when you really should. ~ Donald Glover

He was the kind of guy who had a unique facial expression dedicated to thinking. ~ Tommy Wallach

I thought on it and Cane can roll with us . . . . but he definitely gotta be a sidekick. . . . That's the rule, people. Sicka white dudes being all primary in shit. He can be the sidekick or the nosey neighbor. That's it. ~ Daniel Jose Older

I hang out with dudes a lot. I can relate to being the guys girl. ~ Alexis Knapp

That's why you never hear politicians talking about 'citizens,' it's all 'taxpayers,' as though the salient fact of your relationship to the state is how much you pay. Like the state was a business and citizenship was a loyalty program that rewarded you for your custom with roads and health care. Zottas cooked the process so they get all the money and own the political process, pay as much or as little tax as they want. Sure, they pay most of the tax, because they've built a set of rules that gives them most of the money. Talking about 'taxpayers' means that the state's debt is to rich dudes, and anything it gives to kids or old people or sick people or disabled people is charity we should be grateful for, since none of those people are paying tax that justifies their rewards from Government Inc. ~ Cory Doctorow

You can have a phenomenal booth artist and he can get in there and be a technician in the booth and it won't translate on the stage. I think that's what makes emcees emcees. Some rapper dudes are great rappers but it don't translate on stage. ~ Joell Ortiz

You don't make stupid internet videos or show people you have too much free time, you just say the right things and they'll be like, Damn this dude's a real person and I can relate to that. That can make somebody's life, that can make somebody's day, that can be a line that they never forget. ~ Drake

I find women much more interesting than dudes. ~ Mark Waters

Jadakiss is not no walk in no park. Nas is not no walk in no park. These are dudes that could have ended my career. ~ Beanie Sigel

- Do they know? That you're gay?
- Why waste their time with it? It's not like it'll ever be an issue anyway.
- Yeah, but, it's who you are, right?
- I guess so, - he said. - I don't really know how to be any way else.
- When did you know?
- I was twelve, maybe. Something I just knew one day, even though I hadn't known it the day before.
- So it's like that, huh? A feeling? Not just being into other dudes?
- Oh no, it's that too. Of course it's that. But it's more, I think. Not so much a feeling as a fact, like having blue eyes or brown hair. It's just maybe something you don't discover until you're ready to understand it better.
- Like being straight, - she said. Only we don't have to deal with all that closet bullshit.
- Bingo, - he said. ~ John Corey Whaley

Oh, God," Jenna said. She didn't have to say any more. Jenna and I had seen that weapon before, when The Eye raided a Prodigium club in London.
"It's The Eye," I said, disbelievingly. And then, for probably the first time in Prodigium history, a demon, a warlock, and a vampire all beamed at one another as I repeated, "It's The Eye!"
And sure enough, streaming through the woods from the general direction of the Itineris were several dudes in black. "How?" Cal asked. And then one of the guys in black started running toward us. I guess it's possible that it could've been some other kind of lanky Eye with dark curly hair, but I leaped at him anyway.
Archer and I collided with enough force to knock the breath out of me, but I didn't care. I could breathe later.
"Thought you could use some assistance," he said against my temple. "There are only about twenty of us-the only guys I could get to come with me. But still. It's something, right?"
I held him tighter. "Better than something. ~ Rachel Hawkins

Her: Don't quit your day job, Emily Dickinson.

Me: Hey, u didn't say it had to be GOOD.

Her: Touché. D- on the poem. Can't wait to see your collage.

Me: How do u feel about glitter? And dick pics?

Her: If there's a pic of your dick on that collage, I'm photocopying it and passing it around in the student center.

Me: Bad idea. You'll give all the other dudes an inferiority complex.

Her: Or an ego boost. ~ Elle Kennedy

Look I have somewhere I have to be and I don't particularly love that I have to go, but you freaking out and making a scene is not going to do anything other than piss me off. I hope you had a good time last night and you can leave your number but we both know the chances of me calling you are slim to none. If you don't want to be treated like crap maybe you should stop going home with drunken dudes you don't know. Trust me we're really only after one thing and the next morning all we really want is for you to go quietly away. I have a headache and I feel like I'm going to hurl, plus I have to spend the next hour in a car with someone that will be silently loathing me and joyously plotting my death so really can we just save the histrionics and get a move on it? ~ Jay Crownover

I always hung around older dudes. I feel like I was more wise and I just had more knowledge of what was going on. ~ Future

It never stopped, this running. We were constant prey, and the hunters soon became big blurs: the police, the gangs, the junkies, the dudes on Gaarvey Boulevard who took our money, all smudged into one. Sometimes they were teachers who jumped on us Mexicans as if we were born with a hiduous stain. we were always afraid. Always Running. ~ Luis J Rodriguez

The only people who can ever put ideas into context are people who don't care; the unbiased and apathetic are usually the wisest dudes in the room. If you want to totally misunderstand why something is supposedly important, find the biggest fan of that particular thing and ask him for an explanation. He will tell you everything that doesn't matter to anyone who isn't him. He will describe paradoxical details and share deeply personal anecdotes, and it will all be autobiography; he will simply be explaining who he is by discussing something completely unrelated to his life. ~ Chuck Klosterman

Yeah, he is. It's not that I thought it would ruin our friendship or anything. It was just the initial reaction that scared me. I knew he'd be okay with it eventually."
"How did he react?"
He chuckled. "He asked if I thought gay dudes would think he was hot. I told him yes and he high-fived me. That was that. ~ Jay McLean

Talk to me when your nuts are so blue they look like something you can hang on a Christmas tree. ~ Amy Andrews

I love dudes who are about winning and that is Kobe Bryant ! ~ Stephen A. Smith

It wants in and it's not going to stop until it gets in."
Vig walked over to Jace. She was still sitting by that tree, holding on to Kera's foster puppy. Vig had the feeling Kera would not be getting that puppy back . . . ever. But she would be helping to take care of it.
Vig crouched by Jace, smiled at her. "What's trying to get in, Jace?"
"An ancient power. A very old god that is very pissed off. And if we don't work together, and stop it . . . it'll lay waste to everything."
The silence that followed Jace's proclamation was brutal, but then she suddenly jumped up, startling them.
"Okay. 'Night, guys!" She waved and walked off with her new dog.
"She never speaks," Rolf said, "but when she does, she's absolutely horrifying."
"What do you dudes expect?" Stieg asked around a yawn, heading back to the main house. "She's a Crow. ~ Shelly Laurenston

Omo explains Buddhism to Robbie:
'Some human dudes believe in reincarnation. Being born more than once? As if once wasn't bad enough. Like, suppose the universe is a hologram, and the human dudes are outside the universe and some big ugly cosmic dude beams them into the hologram.'
'Why does he?' asked Robbie.
'Because he wants to fuck with their heads. And it's like his universe, his rules. So the proto-human dudes get sent into a body, and the body is male or female and more or less athletic, and more or less clever and good looking. And they live their lives and when it ends they are back in the place outside the universe until the big ugly cosmic dude decides he wants them back again to fuck with their heads some more, so the next time they might be a boy instead of a girl, and better looking, not so athletic, more quick tempered, less optimistic, whatever, whatever and so it goes on until they learn so much stuff that the big ugly cosmic dude can't fuck with them any more and the proto-human dudes don't get beamed into the universe any more. Unless the dudes want to be. Which would be weird. ~ D. Miller

In personal conversations between director and actor, the male directors that I've worked with are just as emotional. Maybe it's because I had to start having very intimate conversations with adult men at a very young age in order to get the work, but I'm really comfortable with dudes. I mean, we push boundaries in this business in terms of getting to know people. ~ Kristen Stewart

A lot of my female fans discovered me through the passion I have for bettering myself. Not to say the dudes don't, but my female fan-base is based off women who want to do better. ~ Wale

Growing up I was afraid of heights; if I looked down I got instantly queasy. So what did I decide to do a few years ago? Go skydiving with my sisters. I stood on the ground, waiting for my turn, watching them jump out of a small plane strapped to some dude's back. All I could see were these tiny blond dots floating in the air. Then one of the instructors (thankfully he was on his own and not tied to a Hough!) lost control of his chute. It got twisted and he began to spiral toward the ground. Everyone watching below gasped; he was plunging to his death. At the very last second, he pulled his auxiliary chute and glided down to safety.
After landing, he walked right over to me. "Phew, that was a close one. Okay, Derek, you're up next. You're comin' with me."
I felt my stomach leap into my throat. Are you serious? You're a dead man walking and you want me to go up with you? Then reason kicked in: What was the likelihood lightning would strike twice and his chute would fail again? And if it did, clearly the guy knew how to get out of trouble.
"Um, okay…I guess." I read the disclaimer and signed it. In a nutshell, it said, "If you die, we're not responsible." Thanks a lot. ~ Derek Hough

*Some dudes like to say that men have the instinct to spread their seed, while women are supposed to protect their reproductive organs from everything but the best sperm for the strongest potential offspring. By that logic every woman in the world should be saving herself for Dwayne "The Rock' Johnson and never let any of you shitheads touch her. Seriously, you guys should stop using that argument. ~ Anna Kendrick

For a long time the people at my shows were sort of the Pantera-tattoo trucker guys, really cool dudes, but I don't know what happened to them. That's the crowd that I like, the ones that don't get so offended just to be offended. ~ Dave Attell

He could do with some lunch. Especially since that bastard Sloane gave his Cheesy Doodles away. What kind of guy does that? A bastard, that's who. Did he not respect the male code of honor - thou shalt not steal another dude's snacks?
--Dex ~ Charlie Cochet

When I'm not in the booth, I'm one of the most laid-back guys. But growing up, I liked DMX, Jay-Z, 50 Cent, and T.I. - dudes that went all out on the track. My first songs were energetic because I liked their energy. ~ Meek Mill

Pulp Fiction is a, uh, gritty, urban satire. Pump Friction is a uh-uh, a bunch of uh, dudes and ladies having dirty sex. ~ Norm MacDonald

Funny is like sexy, and they are kind of related. What turns one person on is hilarious to another person. And vice versa. And you can see all of this at the nexus of clowns. Many people think clowns are hilarious. (Many others think clowns are creepy.) But there is a certain percentage of people who think clowns are sexy. Don't believe me, Google "clown porn" right now. I dare you. And if you don't need to Google that, then it's because it is already saved on your browser. So when these dudes say, "Women aren't funny," they are forgetting a classically important addendum: "to me." They should be saying, "Women aren't funny to me." But they don't say "to me" because if you are a man in America, you are considered the norm. (Remember it's the NBA and the W[omen's]NBA, not the WNBA and the M[en's]NBA.) And if you are a white man in America, then you are also considered the norm. ~ W. Kamau Bell

Gotta protect the little dudes. I tried an AK-47, but it wouldn't fit under my seat. I like the Uzi better, anyway. It looks better with the dress. The AK seems too casual to me ~ Janet Evanovich

In 2001 we didn't have all the talent in the world, we just had me on offense and just a bunch of tough ass dudes, and a great coach in Larry Brown. ~ Allen Iverson

I noticed the dudes in the ambulance were staying put; I hoped they were calling for backup, or maybe somebody who could do an exorcism, or maybe my pal Stephen King, because if anybody on earth could figure a way out of this mess, it'd be Uncle Stevie. ~ Tobe Hooper

Dudes," He said, "Do not follow other dudes to the bathroom."
Isabelle sighed. "Latent homosexual panic will do you in every time ~ Cassandra Clare

I love these dudes, but I don't know what they're doing with all that facial hair these days. There's a lot of peach fuzz going on. They called me up to go to a Kanye West concert, and I was like 'hold on I'll call Kanye.' So I called him and they got into the show, and I called Kanye later and said, 'Yo did you see my dudes from Panic! at the show?' and he was like 'Nah they mst not have been dressed like they were from the 1700's'. But I back them. They have their own unique style, which is cool. ~ Pete Wentz

Metal is made up of many silly cliches, and Dio's songs rarely shied away from a good cheeseball lyric about medieval knights and crystal balls. But the amazing thing is, Dio the man never succumbed to the typical ravages of drugs, booze or hideous all-body tattoos. He never gained 75 pounds later in life or lost most of his voice through merciless shredding and ended it all playing county fairs for 19 drunk dudes in a barn before collapsing in a heap in a motel room in Jersey. There's a lesson in there somewhere. Or everywhere. ~ Mark Morford

My dancing came about as a way to be cool, actually. I knew early on that I was not a street kid. I didn't have the moxie, what it took to run the streets with the dudes that I grew up wanting to emulate. But I had a huge need to be accepted, so I found that I could be the party king. I did drugs really well, and I partied really well. ~ Michael K. Williams

I grew up at the base of a mountain in Virginia, so my comfort zone is that Appalachian area, where all the dudes wear Carhartt and all the women can put on a beautiful sweater with a snowman applique and nobody raises an eyebrow. ~ Hilarie Burton

Women only like jerks.' That's the mantra of dudes who have made themselves undateable but aren't willing to take the blame. ~ Victor LaValle

Naked dudes are inherently funny. ~ Adam DeVine

Two heavy draft horses are tied to the back of the wagon I follow,their feet the size of dinner plates.They scare me,but make good cover,so I settle in between them.Massive heads turn toward me, snorting as I plod along amongst them.
I lift my chin."'Sup there, horsey,dudes, fellas, … guys." I pat one of the horse's ginormous cheeks and smile. If horses can roll their eyes at stupid comments, I swear they do. ~ Julie Reece