Douchebags Quotes

Lainey is hot in a prom queen kind of way and we used to be friends back in grade school, but that was two lifetimes ago. Now she's a varsity soccer player and card-carrying popular girl who hangs out with the kind of mean girls and douchebags who get killed first in horror movies. ~ Paula Stokes

Lots of talk lately about the GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL that seems to be exclusively masculine. And how many of the characters in the GENIUS BOOKS are likable? Is Holden Caulfield likable? Is Meursault in The Stranger? Is Henry Miller? Is any character in any of these system novels particularly likable? Aren't they usually loathsome but human, etc., loathsome and neurotic and obsessed? In my memory, all the characters in Jonathan Franzen are total douchebags (I know, I know, I'm not supposed to use that, feminine imagery, whatever, but it is SO satisfying to say and think). How about female characters in the genius books? Was Madame Bovary likable? Was Anna Karenina? Is Daisy Buchanan likable? Is Daisy Miller? Is it the specific way in which supposed readers HATE unlikable female characters (who are too depressed, too crazy, too vain, too self-involved, too bored, too boring), that mirrors the specific way in which people HATE unlikable girls and women for the same qualities? We do not allow, really, the notion of the antiheroine, as penned by women, because we confuse the autobiographical, and we pass judgment on the female author for her terrible self-involved and indulgent life. We do not hate Scott Fitzgerald in "The Crack-Up" or Georges Bataille in Guilty for being drunken and totally wading in their own pathos, but Jean Rhys is too much of a victim. ~ Kate Zambreno

Farooq-Lane's fist smarted as if it had just been smashed against a douchebag's face, because it had just been smashed against a douchebag's face. ~ Maggie Stiefvater

To douchebags!" he said, gesturing to Brad. "And to girls that break your heart," he bowed his head to me. His eyes lost focus. "And to the absolute fucking horror of losing your best friend because you were stupid enough to fall in love with her. ~ Jamie McGuire

All the douchebags are starting fights the police will have to break up. Do you trust me, Beckett?"
Beckett had never heard Eve use his first name before. It made him long for a home, a blanket, and her pussy all at once.
"Abso-fucking-lutely. ~ Debra Anastasia

If you encounter someone who pronounces the t in often, odds are they're a douchebag. ~ Dana Gould

Oh, hey, maybe I should have mentioned that my friends are retarded douchebags. ~ Bryan Lee O'Malley

I was married to the number one douchebag of all time. ~ Brandi Glanville

We should be thanking Apple for launching the $10,000 'apple watch' as the new gold standard in douchebag detection. ~ Anna Kendrick

People who go around advertising their birthdays are douchebags. It's a fact. You can look it up on Wikipedia. ~ Katja Millay

But what if Wall Street doesn't just attract preexisting douchebags, but actively draws normal people into an inescapable vortex of douchebaggery? ~ Kevin Roose

I have a theory that the world is broken up into two kinds of people."
"Yeah?"
"Yep. On the one side are the people who love the Harry Pottery books and wish that they could attend Hogwarts and have Ron and Hermione for best friends and vanquish Death Eaters and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."
She's smiling at me, and she's just so fucking cute. I have to ask: "And the other side?"
Aimee shrugs. "Douchebags. ~ Autumn Doughton

It's semi-frustrating when your name actually becomes a synonym for douchebag. ~ Pete Wentz

We teach people how to treat us. If you don't put up with shit, and don't settle for anything less than respect, that's what you'll get. But if you let the douchebags walk all over you and treat you like you're disposable, then that's what you'll always get. ~ Kristen Proby

As with the douchebags of the world, calling an asshole an asshole sometimes is exactly what needs to happen. ~ George Takei

There are many dying children out there whose last wish is to meet me. ~ David Hasselhoff

I do not want any guys to hit on me. Innocent flirting, fine
it does wonders for my confidence
but not douchebags. ~ J.A. Redmerski

Let's have a toast for the douchebags,
Let's have a toast for the assholes,
Let's have a toast for the scumbags,
Every one of them that I know
Let's have a toast to the jerkoffs
That'll never take work off
Baby, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can ~ Kanye West

I used the phrases Jungian realism and linear archetypes, and congratulated myself on achieving a level of douchbaggery I had previously only witnessed in shampoo commercials for men. ~ Catherine Lowell

I winked at myself in the mirror and then realized that's what douchebags did, so I vowed to never do it again. I ~ T.J. Klune

Who says that? Who the hell uses the word ravishing? Douchebags - that's who. ~ Emma Chase

Chris Brown is SUCH a douchebag. ~ Joshua Malina

I immediately felt better about killing him. I've never known a Trevor who wasn't a total douchebag. It's just one of those names that goes so nicely with selfish, arrogant, malicious behavior - and really, what did I know about this guy? Nothing, except that his name was Trevor and he'd been nabbed in the midst of breaking-and-entering. That was plenty. ~ Cherie Priest

Reality TV is the perfect antidote to people who don't have enough self-centered douchebags in their life. ~ Dana Gould

You are employed by a suspicious number of douchebags! ~ Leonard Richardson

Most people are scumbags. Accept it. Let go. Chill out, douchebags. ~ Fakeer Ishavardas