Douche Canoe Quotes

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Quotes About Douche Canoe

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#1. No one gives out Congratulations on Not Being a Douche-Canoe medals, because good behavior is part of the social contract. - Author: Jen Lancaster
Douche Canoe quotes by Jen Lancaster
#2. There are five levels of the douche hierarchy: douche, douche bag, douche canoe, douche nozzle and right at the top, the king of it all, when the douche is displaying phenomenal amounts of doucheness, is a douche rocket. It's when someone is such a douche, like the KING of douches, they can no longer be described as a douche nozzle, they are ALL the levels of douchery put together, and douche rocked is used. - Author: Christine Zolendz
Douche Canoe quotes by Christine Zolendz
#3. The guy just stood there. Hello. There're zombies everywhere. Try looking behind you, douche canoe. - Author: Jennifer L. Armentrout
Douche Canoe quotes by Jennifer L. Armentrout
#4. And get some self-esteem. What the fuck is that? It's so annoying to see a pretty girl see herself as not worthy. You know what it makes us guys think you aren't worthy? We see you how you see you. You're pretty and funny and smart. Stop being such a douche-canoe. - Author: Tara Brown
Douche Canoe quotes by Tara Brown
#5. And now?" I touched Baltic's cheek, drawing his attention away from tragic memories. "Is he being coldly mad now?"
"No. I thought at first he was, but I see now that the act of being raised as a shade has changed him, leached the madness out of him."
Behind us, present-day Constantine yelled, "You call me a douche canoe? I am not the douche canoe
you are. No, you are more than that
you are a douche speed-boat!"
"Most of the madness," Baltic qualified. - Author: Katie MacAlister
Douche Canoe quotes by Katie MacAlister
#6. The sky is a virginal blue translucence as though bereft for a fleeting moment of the effects of both light and darkness. A crimson streak smoulders over the outline of the hills, a simmering bloodline. There is a solitary canoe on the water. A cold white sheen rises from the water. She holds her breath. As if to stop any more time from passing, to stop the future happening. The peacefulness of the morning is almost heartbreaking in its fragility. - Author: Glenn Haybittle
Douche Canoe quotes by Glenn Haybittle
#7. It takes the right guy to show you how wrong the last douche bag was. - Author: Srinivas Shenoy
Douche Canoe quotes by Srinivas Shenoy
#8. Are you for real?" She let out a short laugh, looking away. Why did so many good-looking guys have to be such douche canoes? "Man, you are something else."
"That I am."
"That wasn't a compliment."
"You sure about that?"
"Uh, yeah. I am."
"Hmm." He sounded utterly dismissive.
She had to force her hands to unclench. "I think you're the most uptight person I know."
"You know nothing about me."
"I know enough to know you need a hobby or a pastime. Maybe a different workout regimen to de-stress or you need to get laid. Something to loosen you up a bit."
His lips parted as he stared down at her. He looked affronted. Like if he had pearls, he'd be clutching them. "Did you seriously just tell me I needed to get laid?"
Rosie rolled her eyes. "Did you seriously just prove what I said?"
A moment passed. "Are you volunteering? - Author: Jennifer L. Armentrout
Douche Canoe quotes by Jennifer L. Armentrout
#9. A human on a bicycle is more efficient (in calories expended per pound and per mile) than a train, truck, airplane, boat, automobile, motorcycle, skateboard, canoe, or jet pack. Not only that, bicycling is more efficient than walking, which takes three times as many calories per mile. In fact, pound for pound, a person on a bike can go farther on a calorie of food than a gazelle can running, a salmon swimming, or an eagle flying. - Author: Sightline Institute
Douche Canoe quotes by Sightline Institute
#10. Until that morning when we all went to the riverbank, I still believed Mother would take Leah, not me. Leah who, even in her malarial stupor, rushed forward to crouch with the battery in the canoe and counter its odd tilt. I was outshone was usual by her heroism. But as we watched that pirogue drift away across the Kwenge, Mother gripped my hand so tightly I understood that I had been chosen. She would drag me out of Africa if it was her last living act as a mother. I think probably it was. - Author: Barbara Kingsolver
Douche Canoe quotes by Barbara Kingsolver
#11. I would argue that masturbation is the human animal's most important adaptation. The very cornerstone of our technological civilization. Our hands evolved to grip tools, all right - including our own. You see, thinkers, inventors, and scientists are usually geeks, and geeks have a harder time getting laid than anyone. Without the built-in sexual release valve provided by masturbation, it's doubtful that early humans would have ever mastered the secrets of fire or discovered the wheel. And you can bet that Galileo, Newton, and Einstein never would have made their discoveries if they hadn't first been able to clear their heads by slapping the salami (or "knocking a few protons off the old hydrogen atom"). The same goes for Marie Curie. Before she discovered radium, you can be certain she first discovered the little man in the canoe. - Author: Ernest Cline
Douche Canoe quotes by Ernest Cline
#12. What's this business about the 'little man in the canoe?' If it's big enough for a canoe, it's too big for me. - Author: Quentin R. Bufogle
Douche Canoe quotes by Quentin R. Bufogle
#13. Yeah, okay, I might've overreacted, but it's just because I care about you. You're my sister and I'm supposed to act like a douche when it comes to guys you're with."
"You got that part down to a science," Jase muttered.
Cam flipped him off. - Author: J. Lynn
Douche Canoe quotes by J. Lynn
#14. From this height, you have as much chance of hitting her as him," Lanor objected.
"I'm not going to throw it from here." Aedan's voice was shaking now. Both men looked at him, confused. "You said our chance might be small," he said to Lanor, "but what about her? I promised not to abandon her, and I won't." He looked at the river. The canoe was approaching the mark.
"No Aedan," Lanor said, stepping forward and reaching out with a big hand. "You won't make it. I won't let you –" But Aedan was too quick for him. With a deep breath, he clenched his jaw, slipped around Lanor and sprinted at the edge. Moonlight made it more difficult to be completely sure-footed over the broken ground. A mistake now would rob him of the speed he needed to carry him over the rocks. Instinct dug its claws in and willed him to stop. He felt sick. He didn't want to do this. But he drove himself on. Fear surged as the edge rushed forward. He placed his final step. His stomach twisted. Then he leapt. - Author: Jonathan Renshaw
Douche Canoe quotes by Jonathan Renshaw
#15. Pure poetry in motion. A swift-moving, heartfelt tale of love and loss, two stories intersecting-an d connecting-by magic. Michelle Baker is a born poet, and a born writer. The Canoe is just the start of what I hope to be a long idyllic journey through the love and soul of the human heart. - Author: Trent Zelazny
Douche Canoe quotes by Trent Zelazny
#16. When the inhabitants of some sequestered island first descry the "big canoe" of the European rolling through the blue waters towards their shores, they rush down to the beach in crowds, and with open arms stand ready to embrace the strangers. Fatal embrace! They fold to their bosoms the vipers whose sting is destined to poison all their joys; and the instinctive feeling of love within their breasts is soon converted into the bitterest hate. - Author: Herman Melville
Douche Canoe quotes by Herman Melville
#17. Even through you and I are in different boats, you in your boat and we our canoe, we share the same river of life. What befalls me befalls you. And downstream, downstream in this river of life, our children will pay for our selfishness, for our greed, and for our lack of vision. - Author: Oren Lyons
Douche Canoe quotes by Oren Lyons
#18. Hipsterdom's a tightrope strung across the canyon of douche-baggery. He clung by a finger. - Author: Anthony Marra
Douche Canoe quotes by Anthony Marra
#19. My parents do not limit themselves to worrying about things that have actually happened. Dreams are also fair game. I often get phone calls with detailed descriptions of a dream, followed by So naturally, I had to call to make sure you were okay and there wasn't a reason why I dreamed of you trapped in a canoe with a blue turtle. - Author: Firoozeh Dumas
Douche Canoe quotes by Firoozeh Dumas
#20. ANAGRAM

is when you take a word and rearrange the letters to make another word. And sometimes the words are still somehow connected ex: CANOE = OCEAN. Same letters, different words, somehow still make sense together, like brothers. - Author: Jason Reynolds
Douche Canoe quotes by Jason Reynolds
#21. That settles it," said Mr. Trapwood. "We're going back to the pension. We're going to pack. We're going to be on the Bishop first thing tomorrow. Sir Aubrey will have to send someone else out. Nothing is worth another day in this hellhole."
Mr. Low did not answer. He had caught a fever and was lying in the bottom of a large canoe owned by the Brothers of the São Gabriel Mission, who had arranged for the crows to be taken back to Manaus. His eyes were closed and he was wandering a little in his mind, mumbling about a boy with hair the color of the belly of the golden toad which squatted on the lily leaves of the Mamari River.
There had, of course, been no golden-haired boys; there hadn't been any boys at all. What there had been was a leper colony, run by the Brothers of Saint Patrick, a group of Irish missionaries to whom the crows had been sent.
"They're good men, the Brothers," a man on the docks had told them as they set off on their last search for Taverner's son. "They take in all sorts of strays--orphans, boys with no homes. If anyone knows where Taverner's lad might be, it'll be them."
Then he had spat cheerfully into the river because he was a crony of the chief of police and liked the idea of Mr. Low and Mr. Trapwood spending time with the Brothers, who were very holy men indeed and slept on the hard ground, and ate porridge made from manioc roots, and got up four times in the night to pray.
The Brothers' mission was on a swampy part of the r - Author: Eva Ibbotson
Douche Canoe quotes by Eva Ibbotson
#22. I thumped her on the back, picked her up and dropped her on top of her dungarees. "Put them pants on," I said, "and be a man." She did, but she cried quietly until I shook her and said gently, "Stop it now. I didn't carry on like that when I was a little girl." I got into my clothes and dumped her into the bow of the canoe and shoved off.
All the way back to the cabin I forced her to play one of our pet games. I would say something - anything - and she would try to say something that rhymed with it. Then it would be her turn. She had an extraordinary rhythmic sense, and an excellent ear.
I started off with "We'll go home and eat our dinners."
"An' Lord have mercy on us sinners," she cried. Then, "Let's see you find a rhyme for 'month'!"
"I bet I'll do it … jutht thith onthe," I replied. "I guess I did it then, by cracky."
"Course you did, but then you're wacky. Top that, mister funny-lookin'!"
I pretended I couldn't, mainly because I couldn't, and she soundly kicked my shin as a penance. By the time we reached the cabin she was her usual self, and I found myself envying the resilience of youth. And she earned my undying respect by saying nothing to Anjy about the afternoon's events, even when Anjy looked us over and said, "Just look at you two filthy kids! What have you been doing - swimming in the bayou?"
"Daddy splashed me," said Patty promptly.
"And you had to splash him back. Why did he splash you?"
" 'Cause I spit mud through - Author: Theodore Sturgeon
Douche Canoe quotes by Theodore Sturgeon
#23. O Canada I have not forgotten you,
as I kneel in my canoe, beholding this vision
of a bookcase.
You are the paddle, the snowshoe, the cabin in the pines.
You are the moose in the clearing and the moosehead on
the wall.
You are the rapids, the propeller, the kerosene lamp.
You are the dust that coats the roadside berries.
But not only that,
you are the two boys with pails walking along that road. - Author: Billy Collins
Douche Canoe quotes by Billy Collins
#24. If I was a cynic I would be wondering if sooner or later some charismatic douche-bag might stomp all over this Little House on the Prairie dream of yours. - Author: Stephen Baxter
Douche Canoe quotes by Stephen Baxter
#25. I don't know. How are you supposed to know? Why can't God come down from the sky with a giant foam finger, point at some bloke, and say, "That one, Evie, you're supposed to fall in love with that one. He's not a douche, I checked for you. - Author: Holly Bourne
Douche Canoe quotes by Holly Bourne
#26. I tried to push down my anger. One thing I hated more than Daemon's douche-nozzle side was him telling me what to do. "You don't own me, Daemon."
"It's not about ownership, you little nut."
"Nut?" I glared at him. "I wouldn't call me names when I have a knife in my hand. - Author: Jennifer L. Armentrout
Douche Canoe quotes by Jennifer L. Armentrout
#27. Sassy the basset hound sat up on the seat and yawned. Her tongue rolled into a long bologna canoe. She did a little shuffle on her front paws and snorted. Maybe it was a friendly greeting. Maybe she was having a doggie coronary. - Author: Rick Riordan
Douche Canoe quotes by Rick Riordan
#28. I steel myself for a smirk, an arrogant chuckle, or some sort of recognition, but he's leaning back in his chair, alternating between absently studying his fingernails and writing in the small black journal I first saw in the auditorium. (My guess? "Today I was a total douche for no reason. The End.") - Author: A.M. Robinson
Douche Canoe quotes by A.M. Robinson
#29. You can't fire a cannon, from a canoe! - Author: Charles Poliquin
Douche Canoe quotes by Charles Poliquin
#30. I processed his words, my lips searching for his clumsily in the dark. I felt his fingers squeeze my neck. And that douche choked me out. - Author: Camilla Monk
Douche Canoe quotes by Camilla Monk
#31. Deep-sea-fishing boat, which they would buy, man themselves, and rent to vacationers - this though neither had ever skippered a canoe or hooked a guppy. Then, too, there was quick money to be made chauffeuring stolen cars across South American borders. ("You get paid five hundred bucks a trip," or so Perry had read somewhere.) But of the many replies he might have made, he chose to remind Dick of the fortune awaiting them on Cocos Island, a land speck off the coast of Costa Rica. "No fooling, Dick," Perry said. "This is authentic. I've got a map. I've got the whole history. It was buried there back in 1821 - Peruvian bullion, jewelry. Sixty million dollars - that's what they - Author: Truman Capote
Douche Canoe quotes by Truman Capote
#32. Jess Pepper's review of the Avalon Strings:

'In a land so very civilized and modern as ours, it is unpopular to suggest that the mystical isle of Avalon ever truly existed. But I believe I have found proof of it right here in Manhattan.

To understand my reasoning, you must recall first that enchanting tale of a mist-enshrouded isle where medieval women--descended from the gods--spawned heroic men. Most notable among these was the young King Arthur. In their most secret confessions, these mystic heroes acknowledged Avalon, and particularly the music of its maidens, as the source of their power.

Many a school boy has wept reading of Young King Arthur standing silent on the shore as the magical isle disappears from view, shrouded in mist.

The boy longs as Arthur did to leap the bank and pilot his canoe to the distant, singing atoll. To rejoin nymphs who guard in the depths of their water caves the meaning of life. To feel again the power that burns within.

But knowledge fades and memory dims, and schoolboys grow up. As the legend goes, the way became unknown to mortal man. Only woman could navigate the treacherous blanket of white that dipped and swirled at the surface of the water.

And with its fading went also the music of the fabled isle.

Harps and strings that heralded the dawn and incited robed maidens to dance evaporated into the mists of time, and silence ruled.

But I tell you, Kind R - Author: Bailey Bristol
Douche Canoe quotes by Bailey Bristol
#33. TELLING TIME

Before she was old, she took canoe trips in the rain

and buried her passions deep within nature poems.


Ten years before she was old, her husband died

and developers paid a mighty price for their dairy farm.


She knew she was getting old, when rest stops in Iowa

changed over to those crazy automated washrooms.


When she was old, God helped with little things (growing tomatoes in her garden)

but was missing on big ticket items (bringing her husband back).


She knew she had lived too long

when her grandson explained extinction to his stuffed polar bear. - Author: Carol Baldwin
Douche Canoe quotes by Carol Baldwin
#34. A Sag Harbor ship visited his father's bay, and Queequeg sought a passage to Christian lands. But the ship, having her full complement of seamen, spurned his suit; and not all the King his father's influence could prevail. But Queequeg vowed a vow. Alone in his canoe, he paddled off to a distant strait, which he knew the ship must pass through when she quitted the island. On one side was a coral reef; on the other a low tongue of land, covered with mangrove thickets that grew out into the water. Hiding his canoe, still afloat, among these thickets, with its prow seaward, he sat down in the stern, paddle low in hand; and when the ship was gliding by, like a flash he darted out; gained her side; with one backward dash of his foot capsized and sank his canoe; climbed up the chains; and throwing himself at full length upon the deck, grappled a ring-bolt there, and swore not to let it go, though hacked in pieces. - Author: Herman Melville
Douche Canoe quotes by Herman Melville
#35. Wait. Don't we even get a say in this?" James is supposed to be a macho, baseball player. Why is he such a whiny douche? "What? You want us to take a vote?" That - Author: Roxas James
Douche Canoe quotes by Roxas James
#36. The feel of a canoe gunnel at the thigh, the splash of flying spray in the face, the rhythm of the snowshoe trail, the beckoning of far-off hills and valleys, the majesty of the tempest, the calm and silent presence of the trees that seem to muse and ponder in their silence; the trust and confidence of small living creatures, the company of simple men; these have been my inspiration and my guide. Without them I am nothing. - Author: Grey Owl
Douche Canoe quotes by Grey Owl
#37. Like children in a dark room, like wayfarers passing a graveyard at night, the four men in the canoe filled the surrounding darkness with the fear from their own hearts. - Author: Richard Adams
Douche Canoe quotes by Richard Adams
#38. There is magic in the feel of a paddle and the movement of a canoe, a magic compounded of distance, adventure, solitude, and peace. The way of a canoe is the way of the wilderness and of a freedom almost forgotten. It is an antidote to insecurity, the open door to waterways of ages past and a way of life with profound and abiding satisfactions. When a man is part of his canoe, he is part of all that canoes have ever known. - Author: Sigurd F. Olson
Douche Canoe quotes by Sigurd F. Olson

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