Decaf Quotes

We are too often double espresso followers of a decaf Sovereign. ~ John Ortberg

The word liberal has been employed as the political equivalent of an untreatable but potentially containable social disease
the kind that could be contracted merely by going to a foreign movie or ordering a decaf latte, or worse, a glass of French wine. ~ Eric Alterman

You know what they say, there's a time and a place for decaf: Never and in the trash." I ~ Emma Scott

The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy, half lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole. ~ George Carlin

Decaf is like masturbating with an oven mitt! ~ Robin Williams

The horror that riveted through me, the absolute terror with a taint of nausea, stunned me speechless for three, maybe four seconds. I put the mug down and made a cross with my fingers, screaming, "Death before decaf!" as Garrett poured himself a cup. The fool. ~ Darynda Jones

My dad had always been a big decaf coffee drinker. But my mom had always been more of a tea drinker. So I grew up around a lot of tea. And I also really love tea. But I'm not one of those people who has ever felt the need to choose between coffee and tea. I think that is a completely false dichotomy. ~ Chelsea Clinton

Average Americans order nonfat decaf iced vanilla lattes at Starbucks and choose from 1,500 drawer pulls at The Great Indoors. Amazon gives every town a bookstore with 2 million titles, while Netflix promises 35,000 different movies on DVD. Choice is everywhere - liberating to some, but to others, a new source of stress. ~ Virginia Postrel

I need coffee to deal with this, and I'm not getting decaf. ~ Matthew Arnold Stern

Michael will go ballistic if you start a fire up here again." "Michael needs to switch to decaf. ~ Brigid Kemmerer

I ... um ... started slow, a little here and there, gradually increasing ... " Holy shit! "You didn't!" Lucky ping-ponged between outrage and elation. "Yeah, I did. I switched you to decaf ... and stevia." "You are such a bastard. A card-carrying, no-holds-barred bastard. ~ Eden Winters

Time to switch to decaf, princess. If you're going to shriek at every bogey that jumps out and says 'boo', you'll be exhausted before we reach the edge of the woods. -Puck ~ Julie Kagawa

What kind of tea do you want?"
"There´s more than one kind of tea?...What do you have?"
"Let´s see... Blueberry, Raspberry, Ginseng, Sleepytime, Green Tea, Green Tea with Lemon, Green Tea with Lemon and Honey, Liver Disaster, Ginger with Honey, Ginger Without Honey, Vanilla Almond, White Truffle Coconut, Chamomile, Blueberry Chamomile, Decaf Vanilla Walnut, Constant Comment and Earl Grey."
-"I.. Uh...What are you having?... Did you make some of those up? ~ Bryan Lee O'Malley

I like coffee in the morning and decaf green tea throughout the day ... When I was younger and modeling, to kick-start a diet I would do a juice cleanse. ~ Christie Brinkley

Through drowsiness, your body is telling you that you need to rest. By drinking a caffeinated drink, you are telling it to go to hell. ~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Once I had a potentially heart attack-inducing eight double espressos in one day. I think my assistant secretly swaps my coffees for decaf as she doesn't want me to die of caffeine overdose. ~ Steven Soderbergh

What would you like?" "A skinny decaf latte." This is a ridiculous form of coffee, but I did not point it out. ~ Graeme Simsion

I don't like people who drink decaf coffee it's like what. Why you drinking it? Like it taste so good? That's like drinking non alcoholic vodka. ~ Chelsea Handler

...when I read to her, her quietness, her peacefulness, was what I sought to hear, and it echoed in me as if in an expanding cavern, and often left me trembling with love; and so, then and there, after taking a final gulp of my decaf, I decided to indulge in even more self-pampering: I lifted my legs down from the chair, and, with lightness and celerity, stole upstairs... ~ Evan Dara

Well, I've lost my wife. I've lost my job. I've lost 20 MINUTES OF MY LIFE! Damn the decaf. ~ Dave Foley

Niggas is decaf, I stick 'em for the C.R.E.A.M. ~ Method Man

The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don't know what the hell they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino. - Joe Fox ~ Nora Ephron

It's too early for there to be any coffee. I stare dully at the empty pot in the common room, while Sam picks up a jar of instant grounds.
"Don't," I warn him.
He scoops up a heaping spoonful and, heedlessly, shovels it into his mouth. It crunches horribly. Then his eyes go wide.
"Dry," he croaks. "Tongue ... shriveling."
I shake my head, picking up the jar. "It's dehydrated. You're supposed to add water. Good thing you're mostly made of water."
He tries to say something. Brown powder dusts his shirt.
"Also," I tell him, "that's decaf. ~ Holly Black

Death before Decaf! ~ Elizabeth Noble

I made decaf," he said. "Caffeine isn't good for you."
"Thank you, Mama Lane."
He made a face at her. "Tate and I used to share everything. Let him go off in a snit. I'll share his baby. If he doesn't come back, I'll appropriate it, and you."
"That's one area where all your commando skills will fail, dear man," she said affectionately. "I like you very much, and you can be baby's godfather. But I'm raising this child myself."
"Godfather." He was savoring the word when the toast popped up.
"Bad choice of words," she murmured. "I wouldn't want to give you any bad ideas. I don't want my child outfitted in a fedora and a machine gun."
"Commando godfathers are a different breed."
"Black bags and camo gear aren't much better," she informed him.
"Spoilsport. Where's your sense of adventure?"
"Hanging in the shower trying to dry out. ~ Diana Palmer