David Sedaris Quotes

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Quotes About David Sedaris

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The third guest, a poet, had recently published a memoir about her cancer and the many operations performed in an effort to reconstruct her jaw. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
On the off chance my caller would tell me to quit drinking, I positioned myself on the sofa with two six-packs and a bottle of nice scotch. Then I turned on the TV and ate a sandwich made from leftover chicken lo mein. I call it a Chanwich. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
Snowball just leads elves on, elves and Santas. He is playing a dangerous game. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
I asked her, dreamily, if we had met, and when she told me that we had not, I gave her a little finger wave, the type a leprechaun might offer a pixie who was floating by on a maple leaf. "Well, hi there," I whispered. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
I needed to temper (my dad's) enthusiasm a bit (about attending Princeton), and so I announced that I would be majoring in patricide ... My mom was actually jealous. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
Rather than admit defeat, I decided to change goals. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
If I'm walking down an American street and anyone darker than a peanut shell approaches, I'll say, "Hello." This because, if I don't say it, he or she might think that I'm anxious. Which, of course, I must be, otherwise I'd walk by in silence, just as I do with my fellow Caucasians.
Does this make me racist, or simply race conscious? Either way, I'm more afraid of conservatives than I am of black people. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
Perhaps I've grown less likable over the years, or maybe I've just forgotten how to meet people. The initial introduction - the shaking-hands part - I can still manage. It's the follow-up that throws me. Who calls whom, and how often? What if you decide after the second or third meeting that you don't really like this person? Up to what point are you allowed to back out? I used to know these things, but now they're a mystery. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
Leeches are singing in my asshole. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
I'd Begin to imagine my life in a foreign country, some faraway land where, if things went wrong, i could always blame somebody else, saying I'd never wanted to live there in the first place. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
I cried for it all and wondered why so few songs were written about cats. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
Pandas and rain forests are never mentioned when it comes to the millions of people taking joyrides in their Range Rovers. Rather, it's the little things we're strong-armed into conserving. At a chain coffee bar in San Francisco, I saw a sign near the cream counter that read NAPKINS COME FROM TREES - CONSERVE! In case you missed the first sign, there was a second one two feet away, reading YOU WASTE NAPKINS - YOU WASTE TREES!!! The cups, of course, are also made of paper, yet there's no mention of the mighty redwood when you order your four-dollar coffee. The guilt applies only to those things that are being given away for free. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
The Romanians really do lead the world when it comes to cursing. "What have you got for me?" I asked a woman from Transylvania who was now living in Vienna.
"Shove your hand up my ass and jerk off my shit," she offered.

I was stunned. "Anyone else would say, 'Shove your hand up my ass,' and then run out of imagination," I told her. "You people, though, you just keep going. And that's what makes you the champions you are." Maybe it's not too late to learn how to drive, I thought, watching as she walked out the door and onto the unsuspecting streets of Vienna, this poet, this queen, this glittering jewel in a city of flint. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
I looked from face to face, exaggerating flaws and reminding myself that these boys did not like me. The hope was that I might crush any surviving atom attraction, but as has been the case for my entire life, the more someone dislikes me the more attractive he becomes. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
Even if I were informed, what's the likelihood of changing anyone's opinion, especially a couple of strangers'? If my own little mind is nailed shut, why wouldn't theirs be? ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
A week after my drugs ran out, I left my bed to perform at the college, deciding at the last minute to skip both the doughnut toss and the march of the headless plush toys. Instead, I just heated up a skillet of plastic soldiers, poured a milkshake over my head and called it a night. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
I said that Santa no longer traffics in coal. Instead, if you're bad he comes to your house and steals things. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
In Japanese and Italian, the response to ["How are you?"] is "I'm fine, and you?" In German it's answered with a sigh and a slight pause, followed by "Not so good. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
I started out as a writer. Poetry and prose and also kind of satirical David Sedaris-esque stuff. ~ Pauley Perrette
David Sedaris quotes by Pauley Perrette
So which do you like better,State or Carolina? She was referring to the athletic rivalry between the Triangle area's two largest universities ... Definitely State. State all the way. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time, then two years later you'll be like, 'There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?' ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
I'm for gay elopement, not for gay weddings. I've been with my boyfriend for twenty years. I don't feel like that would validate our relationship in any way. But I would really fight for someone else to have the right. Just elope, though, please. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
She just happens to be my father, young man, and I'd appreciate it of you'd show her a little respect. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
But most good movies have a gun in them. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
I always used to reach for the cigarette when the phone rang, and I figured nobody would ever call me in Tokyo. The time difference is so profound it's, like, already September in Tokyo, and I figured nobody would be able to work it out. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
What's strange is, the people who want to be in the position are never asked to be in the position. Like, if you don't want to do something, then people really want you to do it. And the more you say, "No, really, I'm sorry, it's really not for me," the more they want to convince you that it is, in fact, for you, and that you'd be absolutely perfect. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
I'd always thought that I understood this, but lately I realize that what I call "understanding" is basically just fantasizing. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
I wonder whose job it was to assign these sexes in the first place. Did he do his work right there in the sanitarium, or did they rent him a little office where he could get away from all the noise? ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
We're not pessimists, exactly, but in late middle age, when you envision your life ten years down the line, you're more likely to see a bedpan than a Tony Award. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
You're not going to throw this away, are you?" she says, and she'll be talking about the grains of rice in the bottom of the salt shaker. "No, Mrs. Peacock, by all means, you take them. They'll come in handy when your son gets out of prison and marries your niece. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
My feet are completely flat, but for most of my life they were still shaped like feet. Now, thanks to bunions, they're shaped more like states, wide boring ones that nobody wants to drive through. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
The crummy part of swimming is that while you're doing it you can't really see much: the bottom of the pool, certainly, a smudged and fleeting bit of the outside world as you turn your head to breathe. But you can't pick things out – a man's face, for example, watching from the sidelines when, for the first time in your life, you pull ahead and win. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
I attributed their behavior to the fact that they didn't have a TV, but television didn't teach you everything. Asking for candy on Halloween was called trick-or-treating, but asking for candy on November first was called begging, and it made people uncomfortable. This was one of the things you were supposed to learn simply by being alive, and it angered me that the Tomkeys did not understand it. ~ David Sedaris
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Traveling across the United States, it's easy to see why Americans are often thought of as stupid. At the San Diego Zoo, right near the primate habitats, there's a display featuring half a dozen life-size gorillas made out of bronze. Posted nearby is a sign reading CAUTION: GORILLA STATUES MAY BE HOT. Everywhere you turn, the obvious is being stated. CANNON MAY BE LOUD. MOVING SIDEWALK ABOUT TO END. To people who don't run around suing one another, such signs suggest a crippling lack of intelligence. Place bronze statues beneath the southern California sun, and of course they're going to get hot. Cannons are supposed to be loud, that's their claim to fame, and - like it or not - the moving sidewalk is bound to end sooner or later. It's hard trying to explain a country whose motto has become You can't claim I didn't warn you. What can you say about the family who is suing the railroad after their drunk son was killed walking on the tracks?

This pretty much sums up my trip to Texas. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
When it comes time to decide who gets the bottom bunk, I think anyone would agree that there's a lot to be said for doing things the hard way. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
I've maintained old friendships, like with people I knew in the nineteen-seventies, but have lost the knack for meeting new people. This has a lot to do with my writing schedule. I don't want to be disturbed, and the willingness to be disturbed is, I think, part of being a good friend. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
Each one of us is left to choose our own quality of life and take pleasure where we find it with the understanding that, like Mom used to say, sooner or later something's gonna get you. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
If you don't think a mental patient has the right to bring a sawed-off shotgun to the church where his ex-girlfriend is getting married, you're part of the problem. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
Up close the city constitutes an oppressive series of staircases, but from a distance it inspires fantasies of wealth and power so profound that even our communists are temporarily rendered speechless. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
I'm the most important person in the lives of almost everyone I know and a good number of the people I've never even met. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
Media is so weird; everything is so accessible now. It used to be this thing where, if you did something on 'This American Life,' this predates me, but when David Sedaris did it, for example, it would just play, people who heard it heard it, and then the book would come out a year later, and people would be like, 'Ahh, I kind of remember that.' ~ Mike Birbiglia
David Sedaris quotes by Mike Birbiglia
Sallie Mae sounds like a naive and barefoot hillbilly girl but in fact they are a ruthless and aggressive conglomeration of bullies located in a tall brick building somewhere in Kansas. I picture it to be the tallest building in that state and I have decided they hire their employees straight out of prison. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
In the Netherlands now, I imagine it's legal to marry your own children. Get them pregnant, and you can abort your unborn grandbabies in a free clinic that used to be a church. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
I meet people at book signings. My record now, for signing, is ten and a half hours in one sitting. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
At the end of a miserable day, instead of grieving my virtual nothing, I can always look at my loaded wastepaper basket and tell myself that if I failed, at least I took a few trees down with me. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
I like to reserve the right to write about whatever I like. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
The things I've bought from strangers in the dark would curl your hair. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
Dad said that the guy who can play guitar is going to be the life of the party. He's confusing life with death. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
Like most seasoned phonies, I roundly suspect that everyone is as disingenuous as I am. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
Fuck it, motherfucker! That shit don't mean fuck to me! ~ The Rooster David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by The Rooster David Sedaris
For to witness majesty, to find yourself literally touched by it - isn't that what we've all been waiting for? ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
And I'm here to tell you that, as long as you keep your eyes shut, it's really not that bad. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
What were you asleep? Helen would say as I opened the door. "I've been up since five." In her hand would be aluminum tray covered with foil, either that or a saucepan with a lid on it.
"Well," I'd tell her, "I didn't go to bed until three."
"I didn't go to bed until three thirty."
This was how it was with her: If you got fifteen minutes of sleep, she got only ten. If you had a cold, she had the flu. If you'd dodged a bullet, she'd dodged five. Blindfolded. After my mother's funeral, I remember her greeting me with "So what? My mother died when I was half your age."
"Gosh," I said. "Thing of everything she missed."
pgs. 86-87 ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
I just enjoy lying on the couch and reading a magazine. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
My hands tend to be full enough dealing with people who hate me for who I am. Concentrate too hard on the millions of people who hate you for what you are and you're likely to turn into one of those unkempt, sloppy dressers who sag beneath the weight of the two hundred political buttons they wear pinned to their coats and knapsacks. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
We can't profess love without talking through hand puppets. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
Nobody dreams of the things he already has. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
I explained that he was Chinese, and she asked if the movie would be in Chinese.
"No," I said, "he lives in America. In California. He's been there since he was a baby."
"Then what does it matter if he's Chinese?"
"Well," I said, "he's got ... you know, a sensibility. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
After a year, you realize it takes time to rail against injustice, time you might better spend questioning fondue or describing those ferrets you couldn't afford. Unless, of course, social injustice is you thing, in which case- knock yourself out. The point is to find out who you are and to be true to that person. Because so often you can't. Won't people turn away if they know the real me? you wonder. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
Oh, for Christ's sake,' I hear. 'Can we please just try to have a good time?' This is like ordering someone to find you attractive, and it doesn't work. I've tried it. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
Clatter of a typewriter suggests that you're actually building something. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
Randall, the gay alcoholic in the house next door, boldly peeps through my windows. 'Boy, you sure rock in that chair a lot,' he said last week, his face pressed against my screen.
This time I was lying on my bed with Katherine's cats. I'm watching them while she's out of town. I can be very mushy, and he watched me kissing them and saying that all the other cats in the neighborhood were jealous of their beauty. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
I would later discover it was a bad idea to gather more than two of these people in an enclosed area for any length of time. The stage was not only a physical place but also a state of mind, and the word audience was defined as anyone forced to suffer your company. We young actors were a string of lightbulbs left burning 24 hours a day, exhausting ourselves and others with our self-proclaimed brilliance. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
In the last month of the presidential campaign, I tuned in to conservative talk radio and listened as callers considered the unthinkable. One after another, they all threatened the same thing: "If McCain doesn't win, I'm leaving the country." "Oh, right," I'd say. "You're going to leave and go where? Right-wing Europe?" In the Netherlands now, I imagine it's legal to marry your own children. Get them pregnant, and you can abort your unborn grandbabies in a free clinic that used to be a church. The doctor might be a woman who became a man and then became a woman again, all on taxpayers' dollars, but as long as she saves the stem cells, she'll have the nation's blessing. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
Comfort has its place, but it seems rude to visit another country dressed as if you've come to mow its lawns. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
Something has changed, and now, when I look at my students, I see only people who are going to eat up my time. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
November 4, 1987 Chicago I saw a bumper sticker the other day that read I LOVE KILLING COMMUNISTS. The word love was replaced by a heart shape I'm guessing they'll put on the typewriter keyboard any day now, right beside the exclamation point. The bumper sticker was on a Ford Fairlane on Montrose Avenue. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
All I do is lie, and that has made me immune to compliments. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
Famous people like to choose friends who won't go around repeating their conversations and details about them. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
I think it's good to have the alone time. Well, I kind of have to, because I have to be alone in order to work, so I have alone time. And then I go on tour and I have being-around-people time. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
I love 'Glee.' I cry all the time when I watch 'Glee' because I don't know if it's satire or melodrama and that makes me feel like the writing is aware of itself, and that makes it okay to cry. ~ David Sedaris
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You just take and take don´t you? Out there with your thumb in the air - not a care in the world, just grabbing whatever you can get. Yes, sir, you just take and take until you´re ready to burst. But what about giving? Did you ever think about that? Of course not - you´re too busy taking, Mr. Handout, Mr. Gimmee, Gimmee, Gimmee. Me, I´m what you call a ´taxpayer.´ Tax, it´s a... tariff that working people have to pay so that someone like yourself can enjoy a life of leisure. I give and give until I´ve got nothing left! Nothing! Then I turn around and give some more. I give and I give to all of Uncle Sam´s little takers, every last one of you, but what´s in it for me? I´ve been thinking that maybe it´s time I get a little something in retum. Yes, indeed, maybe it´s about time we try that shoe on the other foot for a change. You, my young friend, are going to wash my car inside and out. And you´re going to pay for it! ~ David Sedaris
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My sister's the type who religiously watches the fear segments of her local Eyewitness News broadcasts, retaining nothing but the headline ... Everything is dangerous all of the time, and if it's not yet been pulled off the shelves, then it's certainly under investigation
so there. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
I look at these people and can't quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention? To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. "Can I interest you in the chicken?" she asks. "Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it? To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked. ~ David Sedaris
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After that there was nothing left to say as nothing gets on my nerves more than someone repeating the same phrase twice. I think it's something people have picked up from television, this emotional stutter. Rather than say something interesting once, they repeat a cliché and hope for the same effect ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
The trouble with aggressive nonsmokers is that they feel they are doing you a favor by not allowing you to smoke. They seem to think that one day you'll look back and thank them for those precious fifteen seconds they just added to your life. What they don't understand is that those are just fifteen more seconds you can spend hating their guts and plotting revenge. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
He's as nutty as a vegan T-bone. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
That's what fantasies are for: they allow you to skip the degradation and head straight to the top. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
Living in a foreign country is one of those things that everyone should try at least once. My understanding was that it completed a person, sanding down the rough provincial edges and transforming you into a citizen of the world.
What I find appealing in life abroad was the inevitable sense of helplessness it would inspire. Equally exciting would be the work involved in overcoming that helplessness. There would be a goal involved, and I like having goals. ~ David Sedaris
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You meet people who say, "Oh, I'd like to do such-and-such, but I don't have the time." But it always seemed to me like you make the time. And if you have a wife or a job, if you have kids or whatever, you find a way. If you really want to do it, you make the time. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
Moving heavy objects allowed me to feel manly in the eyes of other men. With the women it didn't matter, but I enjoyed subtly intimidating the guys with bad backs who thought they were helping out by telling us how to pack the truck. The thinking was that because we were furniture movers, we obviously weren't too bright. In addition to being strong and stupid, we were also thought of as dangerous. It might have been an old story to Patrick and the others, but I got a kick out of being mistaken as volatile. All I had to do was throw down my dolly with a little extra force, and a bossy customer would say, Let's just all calm down and try to work this out. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
I can't seem to fathom that the things important to me are not important to other people as well, and so I come off sounding like a missionary, someone whose job it is to convert rather than listen. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
Watch this. 'Buenos Dios, Miguel.'"
A small, dark-eyed man looked up from his wood splitting, alarmed.
"They spook easy," Hobbs said.
Yes, well, people tend to do that when you come up behind them shouting, "Good God." It's just a habit, I guess. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
In 2004,I offered priority (book)-signing to smokers, the reason being that, because they didn't have as long to live, their time was more valuable. Four years later my special treatment was reserved for men who stood five-foot-six and under. "That's right, my little friends," I announced. "There'll be no waiting in line for you." It seemed unfair to restrict myself to men, so I included any woman with braces on her teeth.
"What about us?" asked the pregnant and the lame. And because it was my show, I told them to wait their f***ing turn. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
I think it's important to take chances. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
All I can say is that if it helps to have friends, it helps even more to have friends who are governors! ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
Things began to come together, and I went from speaking like an evil baby to speaking like a hillbilly. "Is thems the thoughts of cows?" I'd ask the butcher, pointing to the calves' brains displayed in the front window. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
It's always so satisfying when you can twist someone's hatred into guilt
make her realize that she was wrong, too quick to judge, too unwilling to look beyond her own petty concerns. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
Poor, chubby Annette Kelper, who desperately tries to pretend that nobody notices the fact that she's balding on top of her head. That's right. Look closely - balding just like a man. Perhaps Randy feels sorry for chrome-dome Annette. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
They were Jesuits," she told me. "That means they believe in God but not in terlet paper. You should have seen their underwear. Disgusting. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
It's safe to assume that by 2085 guns will be sold in vending machines but you won't be able to smoke anywhere in America. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
The combination of ammonia and chloride can be lethal but I've discovered it can work miracles as long as you keep telling yourself, I want to love, I want to live ... ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
Back in New York I took full advantage of my status as a native speaker. I ran my mouth to shop clerks and listened in on private conversations, realising I'd gone an entire month without hearing anyone complaint that they were "stressed out". ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
The whole notion of the nursing home was something dreamed up by people like my mother; American women with sunglasses, always searching for their tanning lotion or cigarette lighters. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
She was at a cash register, screaming at a customer. She was, in fact, calling this customer a bitch. I touched her arm and said, "I have to go now." She laid her hand on my shoulder, squeezed it gently, and continued her conversation, saying, "Don't tell the store president I called you a bitch. Tell him I called you a fucking bitch, because that's exactly what you are. Now get out of my sight before I do something we both regret. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
I don't know that it had anything to do with us, my father said. But how could it have not? Doesn't the blood of every suicide splash back on our faces? ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
Gambling to me is what a telephone pole might be to a groundhog. He sees that it's there but doesn't for the life of him understand why. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
If I'm stuck, I get up from my chair and I wash windows. Or ... clean the bathroom. Or vacuum the attic. There's always something to be done. ~ David Sedaris
David Sedaris quotes by David Sedaris
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