Dani Alexander Quotes

Whiskey, glass, pour, toss back, glare. Repeat. "Cop out," I slurred in retaliation, pointing the empty glass at Peter.
"Don't get drunk. Fuck. I need you sober," he yelled, snatching the glass out of my hand.
"There's the problem right there. You need me sober. You need my help. You need something from me." I laughed, tossing the bottle on the sofa, ignoring the glug glug glug as it emptied over my cushions. "And I just need you."
"Need me to what?" He asked with a huff, tipping the bottle right-side up.
"Nothing. I just need you," I whispered and flopped into a nearby recliner. ~ Dani Alexander

What is wrong with you?" He glared at me.


"I'm somewhat sure I'm suddenly gay," I shrugged, "My father and mother are hypocritical abandoning homophobic assholes. The former defending my chief suspect in the biggest case of my life - something I'm sure you had a hand in. I'm obsessed with your freckles, your bunny slippers and your lips - which I should be getting points for not kissing while you're incapacitated, by the way. I'm dating a whore while working on the vice squad - points to me again for not arresting your ass for that - and I'm ridiculously horny. Oh, and my fiancée won't talk to me. ~ Dani Alexander

I was not insecure. I was a perfectly normal combination of arrogant and narcissistic. ~ Dani Alexander

Nah. A date with Peter the prostitute. Sounds like a plan. Be sure to bring flowers."

"I was thinking condoms. But your idea sounds more romantic. ~ Dani Alexander

Tell me something good about your life," I whispered, needing to hear that he wasn't as broken as I thought him to be.
Peter breathed into the handset for about two minutes. I began wondering if he was about to hang up, or had fallen asleep, when he answered. "You."
It was so quiet I almost didn't hear it. And then he hung up before I could ask him to repeat himself.
I fell asleep, grinning, with the phone still clutched in my hand and my milk souring on the coffee table. ~ Dani Alexander

When Peter said he was
romantic, it was in the way that I was romantic. A blow job and
an "I love you" before rolling over and falling asleep. ~ Dani Alexander, Shattered Glass

I was going to be mature about this. And ignore him. ~ Dani Alexander, Shattered Glass

We have to go," I replied, ready to throw everything I felt for Peter in the nearest trash and tie up the bag. Let it fester there with my already condemned sanity. ~ Dani Alexander

He's painting your living room as a thank you."
"Huh. My decorator might screech, but I'm okay with that."
"Your decorator? Seriously? How did you not know you were gay? ~ Dani Alexander

I hated smoking. The smell alone was enough to nauseate me. But right then, more than anything, I wanted to be that cigarette. ~ Dani Alexander

I made a mental note to call. Later.
Tomorrow. Next month. Or January. ~ Dani Alexander

You know what I find ironic? My homophobic mother offers
you her cabbage rolls as a truce and you respond by asking her if
it was 'tacit approval' to suck my cock."
"She shoved a phallic symbol my way and told me to eat it. ~ Dani Alexander

Hard-ons don't make you think less. They make you think stupid. ~ Dani Alexander

Peter to Austin:
Hard-ons don't make you think less. They make you think stupid. Which makes me think you must have one 24/7. ~ Dani Alexander

Let me know when you're done with this conversation. Peter needs his tongue bath. I mean sponge bath. ~ Dani Alexander

I honestly had no idea why I was there, or why I couldn't keep my mind of him. Him.I even had to keep reminding myself it was a him. Not a her. No breasts. And, I guessed, no vagina. Definitely a him. And my fantasies were filling with images of his mouth on naked thing of mine.
Naked things. With a guy. Naked things with a guy. Surreal ~ Dani Alexander

Fundamentally I believed that I was unlovable. ~ Dani Alexander

Do me a favor, Oz?"
"Sure?"
"Don't ask them about ass-sex when they answer the phone. Marta feels guilty when you have no friends to visit. ~ Dani Alexander

I would just like to throw out there that we can all stop talking about putting things up my ass. No fly zone. Do not enter. No parking. ~ Dani Alexander

Your daughter is gay? Where are all these gay people coming from? Gay friends. Gay daughters of friends. Gay sisters-in-law. Gay suspects. I ask one guy for a kiss and suddenly I'm living in Ancient Greece. ~ Dani Alexander

Do you know any gay guys?"
"Why? Are you switching teams?"
"I'm not sure. Maybe."
"Yeah, I know some gay guys. And you do, too."
"I know some gay guys?" News to me.
"Jake and Terry."
"They're not gay," I argued.
"Yeah? You better tell them to stop sleeping together, then. ~ Dani Alexander

My father married my mother three days after they met.
Your father also killed and maimed people for a living. How about we just place him in the Not-To-Emulate pile?
Shattered Glass by Dani Alexander (Chpt 14) ~ Dani Alexander

Out of curiosity, when do I grow up and become a fullfledged
man with a penis?"
"When words like 'hump day' don't make you giggle like a
twelve-year-old," he retorted, blowing smoke my way.
"Wow, that long? ~ Dani Alexander

You're rich, spoiled and used to getting your own way."
"Not true. If I had my own way you would have kissed me and ridden me like a cowboy while screaming 'yeehaw'. ~ Dani Alexander

Clean," Peter said.
"Can I get a water bottle or something to clean his hands?" I scanned the crowd. He drew my attention back to him with a pull of my hand.
"No," Peter said. "I'm ... clean."
I had missed who Peter was until that very moment ...
I broke. It wasn't a visible fracture. I didn't sob or explode into anguish. I didn't give in to my vomitus urge that came from the burst of self-loathing. But I shattered nonetheless.
"Well, you look filthy," I said, hitting redial on his phone and jamming it to my ear. ~ Dani Alexander

Do you know why I like dogs and not cats? Because when
you're talking to dogs, they don't walk away in order to rim
themselves.

~Austin to Cai's cat Begone Cai's, also known as the "fucking hairball with the crazies. ~ Dani Alexander

I'd rather have a footwear fetish than a sudden attraction to penises? Yeah, that sounded about right. ~ Dani Alexander

What I knew, beyond a doubt, was that if I continued to deny who I was, I'd end up with my service revolver in my mouth.

"Better cock than steel," I said wryly, checking my reflection one last time before I exited the car. ~ Dani Alexander

I grew up Catholic. I was not above guilt trips. ~ Dani Alexander

Ask me for money, Peter." I grabbed his wrists and pushed him against the wall.

He looked everywhere but at me, no attempt to free himself. He was definitely stronger than I, but right that second I didn't care if he was being patronizing. If it forced him to answer me, then patronizing I'd take.

"No," he murmured.

"Ask me for money, goddamn you." I punctuated it with a slam of his wrists, hard enough to jar, but not painful - I hoped. The next time my shirt wouldn't be there to cushion it. I was
that pissed.

"I have!" He spat back, easily extricating his hands and pushing me away. I grabbed his arm, turning him around.

"For Cai. For sex. Not for you. You'd rather go fuck a bunch of strangers - "

"I don't fuck anyone but Darryl anymore," he denied. "It's just a show for a bunch of voyeurs. No one gets hurt."

"I get hurt!"

"I don't have any other way, Austin."

"You have me. Ask me," I said, hating the pleading sound in my voice.

"No."

"Jesus Christ, why the fuck not?"

"Because I don't want you to be a fucking trick!" The shout was so loud I felt the vibrations along my spine. ~ Dani Alexander

People aren't always who they seem, Detective. Am I anything like you thought?"
"No," I admitted. You're a million times better than I could have imagined. ~ Dani Alexander

I followed Peter heedlessly, or more specifically, my penis followed blindly. ~ Dani Alexander

Yeah well, I keep trying to explain to my dick that you're a lying, manipulative whore, but it has selective hearing and chooses to focus on the last part. ~ Dani Alexander

Do you know what I did to the last guy that called me Tinkerbelle?"
"Slept with him?"
Darryl was silent for a second. "After that. ~ Dani Alexander

You are not welcome here."
"You said that the first time you kicked me out. [...] Then [...] I thought to myself, 'what a great hospital. I bet they could use a million dollars.' Guess what? They did!" [...]
"I am still his mother." [...]
"Yeah? Good luck with that. I'm still rich. ~ Dani Alexander

At some point all of this is going to catch up with me," I said.
"What is?"
"Gay, boyfriend, job loss, career in the toilet, gay, criminals in my house, criminals in my bed."
"You said the gay thing twice."
"It deserves double billing. ~ Dani Alexander

Blue eyes. No, not just blue, blue like glacial waters, like romantic poems, like heavens and moonstones. Cornflower blue. And-
Blue like romantic poems? What the everliving fuck? (Austin) ~ Dani Alexander

I've given up my living room, guest room, job, career, heterosexuality and my stance on no pets in the house, but I'm not giving up my room. I'm drawing a line. ~ Dani Alexander

Bunny Slippers watched my appraisal for at least a full
minute before clasping his hands and resting them on the table.
"You stand in the doorway, clothes sticking to you like you just
got out of the shower and didn't dry off." I hadn't dried off
actually. "Your hair is wet like it's been raining, but it's near
ninety outside. You glare at me for a good ten minutes before
you come over. Sit across from me in my booth, without an
invitation. Don't introduce yourself. Don't say hello. You
announce you're not gay, but that I made you gay, and I am
confusing you?
Well, when he said it like that. ~ Dani Alexander

Peter to Austin: Here are the facts, Austin. You've been engaged four times.
You've cheated on every single one of them. You're cruel
sometimes and superficial and spoiled and really fucked up
emotionally. You talk about my being inscrutable, but you treat
nothing as if it matters to you. Something terrible happens? You
make a joke and shrug it off. You feel too much? You get angry
and lash out at me. So no, I'm not in love with you. I'm fighting
it every fucking step! I just wish I could stop it. ~ Dani Alexander

Most people showed gratitude or happiness in a smile or a bouquet of flowers-Peter sucked cock.
Not a whole lot of debate on which of those choices was my favorite. ~ Dani Alexander

Gay sex, one. Straight sex, zero ~ Dani Alexander

I looked at our hands, caked and coated in red, but entwined. The pristine moment when they were clasped like that earlier in the day seemed weeks ago.
"Clean." Peter said.
"Can I get a water bottle or something to clean his hands?" I scanned the crowd. He drew my attention back to him with a pull of my hand.
"No," Peter said. "I'm ... clean."
I had missed who Peter was until that very moment.
I had called him names and treated him callously. I had read every micro expression in a vacuum of how it related to Austin Glass. And in return Peter had cared for my wounds, treated me tenderly and assured me that he was HIV negative while bleeding out in a hallway of strangers.
I broke. It wasn't a visible fracture. I didn't sob or explode into anguish. I didn't give in to my vomitus urge that came from the burst of self-loathing. But I shattered nonetheless. ~ Dani Alexander

I was not gay.
First, I masturbated to images of women. I fantasized about women. Sure, there were men in my fantasies, but they were always doing women. Everyone did that. There were never solo men in my fantasies. Or my porn-discounting the previous night's anomaly. Therefor, I wasn't gay. ~ Dani Alexander

McCleary was an unpolished, semi attractive man in his late thirties or early forties. His hair was grey. His suit was cheap. His cologne was cheaper and his attitude was a hundred percent asshole. He have me an instant boner. ~ Dani Alexander

Mark what unvary'd laws preserve each state, Laws wise as Nature, and as fixed as Fate. ~ Alexander Pope

The lot of man - to suffer and to die. ~ Alexander Pope

Я помню чудное мгновенье:
Передо мной явилась ты,
Как мимолётное виденье,
Как гений чистой красоты...

I still recall the wondrous moment
When you appeared before my eyes,
Just like a fleeting apparition,
Just like pure beauty's distillation... ~ Alexander Pushkin

Edinburgh used to be a haughty city. ~ Alexander McCall Smith

You know, because of the lack of budget, we had to find neighborhoods where time had stopped - kind of stuck in the '50s. And no place had that better than Staten Island. ~ Jason Alexander

It is essential that our present negative propaganda regarding psychedelic drugs be replaced with honesty and truthfulness about their effects, both good and bad. ~ Alexander Shulgin

Is that a birthday? 'tis, alas! too clear; 'Tis but the funeral of the former year. ~ Alexander Pope

People don't talk about mercy very much these days - it has a rather old-fashioned ring to it. but it exists and its power is quite extraordinary ~ Alexander McCall Smith

Jenny: Do you mind going back downstairs?

Damian: Why?

Jenny: Because I don't want any dead bodies in my bathroom.

Damian: ...We don't have to keep it in here.

Jenny: GET OUT! ~ Alexander Engel-Hodgkinson

Do I shock you? I think I do. That's the problem these days – nobody speaks their mind. No, don't smile. They really don't. We've been browbeaten into conformity by all sorts of people who tell us what we can and cannot say. Haven't you noticed it? The tyranny of political correctness. Don't pass any judgement on anything. Don't open your trap in case you offend somebody or other. ~ Alexander McCall Smith

A strong pursuit, give no time for the enemy to think, take advantage of victory, uproot him, cut off his escape route. ~ Alexander Suvorov

You cannot limit yourself to one area of specialized craft. Instead, regardless of craft, you have to charge all forms of expression that lead to the community, to other people, with meaning. ~ Alexander Kluge

What! I don't care about being a princess! And since I'm already a young lady, how else could I behave? That's like asking a fish not to swim!"
~Princess Eilonwy, daughter of Angharad, daughter of Regat, of the Royal house of Llyr ~ Lloyd Alexander

If you study the classic examples of endgame play you will see how the king was brought up as soon as possible even though there seemed no particular hurry at the time. ~ Alexander Kotov

Some designers are so airy-fairy people can't connect with them. I hope people can relate to me, to a normal person who just happens to be a fashion designer, that people can take me as they find me. It's not the designer's job to care about what people think. Whatever else I've done, I've never tried to be something that I'm not. ~ Alexander McQueen

That's how real men settle their differences, through reasoned discussion and a dispassionate analysis. He farted as I reached the inner door, a sign, I decided, of his respect. Alexander ~ Ben Aaronovitch

And it is long since I have learned to hold popular opinion of no value. ~ Alexander Hamilton

There is nothing immpossible to him who will try ~ Alexander The Great

If the sword of oppression be permitted to lop off one limb without opposition, reiterated strokes will soon dismember the whole body. ~ Alexander Hamilton

Oh, sons of earth! attempt ye still to rise. By mountains pil'd on mountains to the skies? Heav'n still with laughter the vain toil surveys, And buries madmen in the heaps they raise. ~ Alexander Pope

The whole of history is the history of murderers. If you become a murderer, fame will be very easy. You can become a prime minister, you can become a president - but these are all masks. Behind them you will find very violent people, terribly violent people hiding, smiling. Those smiles are political, diplomatic. If the mask slips, you will always see Genghis Khan, Tamerlane, Nadir Shah, Napoleon, Alexander, Hitler, hiding behind. ~ Osho

Computers are heaven-sent when they work and hell-spawn when they don't.
There's just not much middle ground when it comes to technology. ~ Dani Harper

Lions walk on four legs," observed Mma Makutsi. "Was this man walking on four legs? That can be a big giveaway, Mma. ~ Alexander McCall Smith

(The Hellenistic Age begins with the death of Alexander the Great in 323 BC and ends in 30 BC, with the death of Cleopatra. It has been perhaps best defined as a Greek era in which the Greeks played no role.) ~ Stacy Schiff

Beware of seriousness: it is a form of stupidity ~ Alexander Waugh

[My work] is designed to speak for itself. as mementos of the fearful struggle through which the country has just passed, it is confidently hoped that it will possess an enduring interest. ~ Alexander Gardner

And see, my son! the hour is on its way,
That lifts the Goddess to imperial sway;
This favourite isle, long severed from her reign,
Doveline, she gathers to her wings again ~ Alexander Pope

Unblemish'd let me live or die unknown; Oh, grant an honest fame, or grant me none! ~ Alexander Pope

Love the offender, yet detest the offense. ~ Alexander Pope

He pulls me into the steel of his chest. In between kissing me, he whispers, "You don't have to be jealous of them, you know. None of them hold a candle to you. ~ Magda Alexander

And thus they aged, as do all mortals.
Until at last the husband found
That death had opened wide its portals,
Through which he entered, newly crowned. ~ Alexander Pushkin