Cynical Christmas Quotes

Yet as I read the birth stories about Jesus I cannot help but conclude that though the world may be tilted toward the rich and powerful, God is tilted toward the underdog. ~ Philip Yancey

It's often been said that I'm an extremely depressing, cynical writer. I've never known what to make of that. ~ Ann Beattie

Little with love is better than much without love. ~ Lailah Gifty Akita

I remember the only time I ever saw my mother cry. I was eating apricot pie.
I remember how much I used to stutter.
I remember the first time I saw television. Lucille Ball was taking ballet lessons.
I remember Aunt Cleora who lived in Hollywood. Every year for Christmas she sent my brother and me a joint present of one book.
I remember a very poor boy who had to wear his sister's blouse to school.
I remember shower curtains with angel fish on them.
I remember very old people when I was very young. Their houses smelled funny.
I remember daydreams of being a singer all alone on a big stage with no scenery, just one spotlight on me, singing my heart out, and moving my audience to total tears of love and affection.
I remember waking up somewhere once and there was a horse staring me in the face.
I remember saying "thank you" in reply to "thank you" and then the other person doesn't know what to say.
I remember how embarrassed I was when other children cried.
I remember one very hot summer day I put ice cubes in my aquarium and all the fish died.
I remember not understanding why people on the other side of the world didn't fall off. ~ Joe Brainard

Not only weight loss surgery is unnecessary but also it deprives human being a normal life. People after surgery would never be able to enjoy their food ever for the rest of their life whether it is Christmas or they are on their holidays or their child birthday or any other festival.
List of problems and complications after the weight loss surgery operation are endless as one may get additional problems such as Hernia, Internal Bleeding, Swelling of the skin around the wounds, etc. I wonder how many weight loss surgeons advice about weight loss surgery to their own family members. ~ Subodh Gupta

Be merry all, be merry all,
With holly dress the festive hall;
Prepare the song, the feast, the ball,
To welcome merry Christmas. ~ William Spencer

Approaching Em's cottage, especially at night, always enchanted him. It was like walking into those fairy tales he'd read by flashlight under his bedcovers, full of rose-covered cottages and small stone bridges, glowing hearths and content couples hand in hand. His relieved father had thought he was reading Playboy but instead he was doing something infinitely more pleasurable and dangerous. He was dreaming of the day he'd create this fairy-tale world for himself, and he'd succeeded, at least in part. He had himself become a fairy. And as he looked at Em's cottage, its buttery light beaconing, he knew he'd walked right into the book he'd used to comfort himself when the world seemed cold and hard and unfair. Now he smiled and walked toward the house, carrying his Christmas Eve offering. ~ Louise Penny

He disowned me," I murmured. "Kicked me out and told me to come back when I changed my choice."
"He seriously used those words? That it was a choice?"
I nodded.
"You can't change it. Your sexuality is like your DNA. You can't cut off your finger so it's no longer there, because it is you. You're born with it - you just discover it when you mature. ~ Shaye Evans

Sometimes the best Christmas present is remembering what you've already got. ~ Cathy Guisewite

A man bumps me on his busy way without so much as an apology. But that is all right. I forgive you, busy man about town with the sharp elbows. Hail and farewell to you! For I, Gemma Doyle, am to have a splendid Christmas in London town. All shall be well.
God rest us merry gentlemen. And gentlewomen. ~ Libba Bray

Ramona could not understand why grown-ups always talked about how quickly children grew up. Ramona thought growing up was the slowest thing there was, slower even than waiting for Christmas to come.
She had been waiting years just to get to kindergarten, and the last half hour was the slowest part of all. ~ Beverly Cleary

Have ye been naughty or nice?"
"It might be fun to get a little naughty. ~ Kerrelyn Sparks

I was never a liberal. I was radical. I was cynical. I was negative. But, I was never a liberal. I always saw that as too lukewarm for me. ~ Clarence Thomas

We no longer sing and dance. We don't know how to. Instead, we watch other people sing and dance on the television screen. Christmas, which was once a festival of active enjoyment, has turned into a binge of purely passive pleasures. ~ Tom Hodgkinson

Talk to me when your nuts are so blue they look like something you can hang on a Christmas tree. ~ Amy Andrews

The spirit of Christmas is found when we lift the load of others. ~ Toni Sorenson

Christmas is joyful to those who have food to be joyful and a food for thought for those who have no food to be joyful! ~ Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

If you don't like the smell of Christmas trees, get the hula girls; they smell like coconuts. ~ Matt Ponticello

I want to believe that, despite all evidence to the contrary, it is possible for anyone to find that one special person. That person to spend Christmas with or grow old with or just take a nice silly walk in Central Park with. ~ Rachel Cohn

She pulled her arm free from his grasp and stood back, her arms crossed. "So, what then? You're holding me hostage? Are you even really a sheriff?"
"I am," he said, highly amused at her attempt at bravado. "You wanna see my badge? ~ Roxanne Snopek

I had a nightmare about the Averys' sweet-tempered German shepherd, Ina. In the dream, as I was sitting on the floor in the Averys' living room, the dog walked up to me and began to insult me. She said I was a frivolous, cynical, attention-seeking "fag" whose entire life had been phony. I answered her frivolously and cynically and chucked her under the chin. She grinned at me with malice, as if to make clear that she understood me to the core. Then she sank her teeth into my arm. As I fell over backward, she went for my throat. ~ Jonathan Franzen

But the Promise showed their wildest dreams had simply not been wild enough. ~ Michael Card

You fellows ever thought of hiring out as a Christmas lights crew? You'd make a fortune. ~ Ilona Andrews

The decline of manners, the cynical pursuit without shame or restraint of personal advantage and of money characterizes our times, not without exceptions, of course, but more than we ought to be comfortable with. ~ J. Irwin Miller

I see before me a person who is sacrificial, honest, and courageous; a good friend and family member, not cynical, not egotistical, but empathetic and good-hearted, who feels responsibility, is attentive, and is capable of keeping secrets, who does not misuse their power, does not gossip, and can master their ambition, who is just, demands quality, an internationalist and not envious, who generally behaves in a friendly way and does not judge others easily, who is persistent, has initiative, conscious of duty, critical, self-critical and conscientious, who relates well to learning or ignorance, and who is capable of self-education (self-perfection), who has self-control, who is sincere and strives for freedom for themself and others, whose ethics are at a similarly high level, who is modest, able to love others, who has solidarity, tolerance and politeness, has a healthy competitiveness, is helpful, peaceful, and well-intentioned, who shows
respect to those who merit it, etc. This kind of person is definitely an exemplary moral authority. Whoever has in themselves all of the qualities above to a high level is a moral genius, even if they never become a hero, and even if those around them never consider them to be one. ~ László Polgár

Christmas makes me happy no matter what time of year it comes around. ~ Bryan White

My church accepts all denominations - fivers, tenners, twenties. ~ Dave Allen

Each day of the holidays comes bringing its own gifts.
Open your heart,
Untie the ribbons,
and enjoy the contents!
Were earth a thousand times as fair
Beset with gold and jewels rare
She yet were far too poor to be
A narrow cradle,
Lord, for Thee. ~ Martin Luther

When you're planning the perfect Christmas ... the gifts, the lights, the decorations, the paries, the cards, don't forget the most important item on the list - Christ. ~ Toni Sorenson

I realized that every second that I'm alive, the world cares less about me. It's just a very linear, downward progression. And it sounds cynical because you guys are young and you're full with life. I want you to understand - this is it. You have nothing to look forward to because you're peaking. If you're not having fun now, kill yourself. I don't mean that in a bad way, just - it's not worth it to go forward. ~ Greg Fitzsimmons

Wise men come to see
a child of greater wisdom
and honor divine. ~ Richelle E. Goodrich

It's nice to be able to do things for other people, isn't it?

That's why it's fun to talk in the third person sometimes. ~ Patrick Bryant