Clockworks Calculator Quotes

Do I get any kind of training?"
"Do you know how to use a basic calculator?"
I roll my eyes "Yes."
"Consider yourself trained. ~ Colleen Hoover

When things don't add up, either you don't have a calculator or you forgot to use commonsense by simply asking. ~ Shannon L. Alder

He also had a device that looked rather like a largish electronic calculator. This had about a hundred tiny flat press buttons and a screen about four inches square on which any one of a million "pages" could be summoned at a moment's notice. ~ Douglas Adams

Saying you don't need a librarian because you have the internet is like saying you don't need a math teacher because you have a calculator. ~ Unknown

A five-week sand blizzard?" said Deep Thought haughtily. "You ask this of me who have contemplated the very vectors of the atoms in the Big Bang itself? Molest me not with this pocket calculator stuff. ~ Douglas Adams

I'm always crunching numbers, so my calculator watch is a must. ~ David Neeleman

I can count all the lovers I've had on one hand ... if I'm holding a calculator. ~ Sebastian Horsley

I still remember the day I got my first calculator

Teacher: All right, children, welcome to fourth grade math. Everyone take a calculator out of the bin.
Me: What are these?
Teacher: From now on we'll be using calculators.
Me: What do these things do?
Teacher: Simple operations, like multiplication and division.
Me: You mean this device just...does them? By itself?
Teacher: Yes. You enter in the problem and press equal.
Me: You...you knew about this machine all along, didn't you? This whole time, while we were going through this...this charade with the pencils and the line paper and the stupid multiplication tables!...I'm sorry for shouting...It's just...I'm a little blown away.
Teacher: Okay, everyone, today we're going to go over some word problems.
Me: What the hell else do you have back there? A magical pen that writes book reports by itself? Some kind of automatic social studies worksheet that...that fills itself out? What the hell is going on?
Teacher: If a farmer farms five acres of land a day--
Me: So that's it, then. The past three years have been a total farce. All this time I've been thinking, "Well, this is pretty hard and frustrating but I guess these are useful skills to have." Meanwhile, there was a whole bin of these things in your desk. We could have jumped straight to graphing. Unless, of course, there's some kind of graphing calculator!
Teacher: There is. You get one in nint ~ Simon Rich

Nanny Piggins lost the Vegetable Peeling, Gutter Cleaning, and Long Division Explaining tests as well. She got caught telling Michael, 'Don't bother to learn that. Long division is a waste of brain space, when you can just buy a calculator.' Which is only the truth. ~ R.A. Spratt

I sold my most valuable possession, but I knew that because I worked at Hewlett Packard, I could buy the next model calculator the very next month for a lower price than I sold the older one for! ~ Steve Wozniak

A good calculator does not need artificial aids. ~ Laozi

The calculation of ignorance is too great for any calculator, only someone who has experienced bliss and genuine ignorance can determine valid or not, not those whom of which scrutinize it ~ Aaron Ozee

[John Adams] is vain, irritable, and a bad calculator of the force and probable effect of the motives which govern men. This is all the ill which can possibly be said of him. ~ Gordon S. Wood

The hedonistic conception of man is that of a lightning calculator of pleasures and pains, who oscillates like a homogeneous globule of desire of happiness under the impulse of stimuli that shift him about the area but leave him intact ...
He is an isolated, definitive human datum, in stable equilibrium except for the buffets of the impinging forces that displace him in one direction or another. Self-poised in elemental space, he spins symmetrically about his own spiritual axis until the parallelogram of forces bears down on him, whereupon he follows he line of the resultant ~ Thorstein Veblen

[John] Harrison [could not] express himself clearly in writing ... No matter how brilliantly ideas formed in his mind, or crystallized in his clockworks, his verbal descriptions failed to shine with the same light ... The first sentence [of his last published work] runs on, virtually unpunctuated, for twenty-five pages. Dava Sobel, Longitude, p66 ~ Dava Sobel

It is unworthy of excellent men to lose hours like slaves in the labour of calculation which could safely be relegated to anyone else if machines were used.
(Describing, in 1685, the value to astronomers of the hand-cranked calculating machine he had invented in 1673.) ~ Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz

People think that the arts are optional and they aren't. They teach a level of emotional depth that's equally important to mathematic skill. You can replace some math skills with a calculator if you know how to operate the thing, but there's no calculator for human interaction. ~ Hal Sparks

I had discovered a special way that women could be dangerous. They were trained to play close attention to people. To take them apart, like Luca had done with his clockworks, and study how they ran. ~ Amy Rose Capetta

Look, this is a man, he's got great numbers. He talks about numbers. I'm beginning to think not only did he invent the Internet, but he invented the calculator. It's fuzzy math. It's a scaring - trying to scare people in the voting booth. Under my tax plan, that he continues to criticize, I set a third - the federal government should take no more than a third of anybody's check. ~ George W. Bush

Uh-oh," Moni sang, and nodded her head in Chantal's direction. "I think someone's a wee bit upset with us." She turned and walked a few steps backward.
"Careful," I said. "We're not out of range."
"Have no fear, Super Brain is here." Moni whipped out her calculator, holding it up like a shield.
"What are you going to do, daze her with denominators?"
"Maybe. But first I'm going to pummel her with my Pythagorean theorem. ~ Charity Tahmaseb

I use minimal software to make my music - a wav editor and a calculator for my beats to make sure everything falls on mathematical precision. If you were just mapping this out visually, it works by math. I guess it's slightly engineering influenced. ~ Girl Talk

I can't read a computer screen and never use a calculator. It's all in my head and by hand. ~ Simon Reuben

Kate studied the clipboard and the pocket calculator on the floor.
"Did you figure out how to work that thing?"
"You don't have to be a CPA to use a calculator."
"I meant the clipboard."
"Ha ha. ~ Nora Roberts

There's like ten minutes when it's like, 'Okay, wait, who is this guy again?' And then, you know, I just put on the calculator watch and the glasses, and just be all, you know, inappropriate. And then it just works out fine. ~ Rainn Wilson

What's Julie's number?"
Curran glanced at me.
"Julie's fluctuating between thirty-two and thirty-four units. Her shift coefficient is six point five and she's been at it for sixteen hours."
Dear God, I'd need a damn calculator. ~ Ilona Andrews

Before you open the lunch menu or order that cheeseburger or consider eating the cake with the frosting intact, haul out the psychic calculator and start tinkering with the budget. ~ Caroline Knapp

Deep Blue didn't win by being smarter than a human; it won by being millions of times faster than a human. Deep Blue had no intuition. An expert human player looks at a board position and immediately sees what areas of play are most likely to be fruitful or dangerous, whereas a computer has no innate sense of what is important and must explore many more options. Deep Blue also had no sense of the history of the game, and didn't know anything about its opponent. It played chess yet didn't understand chess, in the same way a calculator performs arithmetic bud doesn't understand mathematics. ~ Jeff Hawkins

Fighting emotion with logic is like bringing a calculator to a knife fight ~ Josh Sundquist

Scorecards are common in the political process, but they are inappropriate in the judicial process. The most important tools in the judicial confirmation process are not litmus paper and a calculator. ~ Orrin Hatch

But real-world questions aren't like word problems. A real-world problem is something like "Has the recession and its aftermath been especially bad for women in the workforce, and if so, to what extent is this the result of Obama administration policies?" Your calculator doesn't have a button for this. Because in order to give a sensible answer, you need to know more than just numbers. What shape do the job-loss curves for men and women have in a typical recession? Was this recession notably different in that respect? What kind of jobs are disproportionately held by women, and what decisions has Obama made that affect that sector of the economy? It's only after you've started to formulate these questions that you take out the calculator. But at that point the real mental work is already finished. Dividing one number by another is mere computation; figuring out what you should divide by what is mathematics. ~ Jordan Ellenberg

A lot of people... use a calculator! ~ Joe Strummer

It's easy to underestimate how profound and holistic Roddenberry's vision of the techscape of the future was. By today's standards, the available technology of 1964 was downright primitive. Doors did not open automatically when we approached them. The first handheld calculator was still in the future, as were microwave ovens and cell phones. 1964 was a year before most Americans had even heard of a place called Vietnam, five years before man walked on the moon, 25 years before anyone ever surfed the Internet. Your phone had a curly cord, and the new innovation of "touchtone" dialing was merely a year old. Even the television sets that viewers watched would be considered positively prehistoric today. Most TVs were black-and-white models, and the majority of those sets had no remote control. There was no cable or satellite; rabbit ears and roof-top antennas were the norm. The world looked, and was, different. ~ Marc Cushman

Bill Frindall has done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator ~ John Arlott

Listen, twenty years ago, it wasn't so cool to have a calculator watch, right? And spending all day inside playing with your calculator watch sent a clear message that you weren't doing so well socially. And judgments like 'like' and 'dislike' and 'smiles' and 'frowns' were limited to junior high. Someone would write a note and it would say, 'Do you like unicorns and stickers?' and you'd say, 'Yeah, I like unicorns and stickers! Smile!' That kind of thing. But now it's not just junior high kids who do it, it's everyone, and it seems to me sometimes I've entered some inverted zone, some mirror world where the dorkiest shit in the world is completely dominant. The world has dorkified itself. ~ Dave Eggers

Many of Ronald A. Fisher's ideas were solutions to computational problems caused by the limitations of the era's desk calculators. ~ Sharon Bertsch McGrayne

Here Katy. I have a cooler trick than Finn's. I can show you how to write poop on a calculator . . . now that's awesome." I pulled the calculator from her little hands and proceeded to teach her some potty humor every kid should know.
Finn grabbed it from my hand and punched in some numbers and passed it back. When I turned it upside down it read "hILLBILLI." Well, I definitely was that. ~ Amy Harmon