Child Trauma Quotes

What cannot be communicated to the [m]other cannot be communicated to the self. ~ John Bowlby

The initial trauma of a young child may go underground but it will return to haunt us. ~ James Garbarino

Childhood trauma does not come in one single package. ~ Asa Don Brown

While reliving trauma is dramatic, frightening, and potentially self-destructive, over time a lack of presence can be even more damaging. This is a particular problem with traumatized children. The acting-out kids tend to get attention; the blanked-out ones don't bother anybody and are left to lose their future bit by bit. ~ Bessel A. Van Der Kolk

Eighty two percent of the traumatized children seen in the National Child Traumatic Stress Network do not meet diagnostic criteria for PTSD.15 Because they often are shut down, suspicious, or aggressive they now receive pseudoscientific diagnoses such as "oppositional defiant disorder," meaning "This kid hates my guts and won't do anything I tell him to do," or "disruptive mood dysregulation disorder," meaning he has temper tantrums. Having as many problems as they do, these kids accumulate numerous diagnoses over time. Before they reach their twenties, many patients have been given four, five, six, or more of these impressive but meaningless labels. If they receive treatment at all, they get whatever is being promulgated as the method of management du jour: medications, behavioral modification, or exposure therapy. These rarely work and often cause more damage. ~ Bessel A. Van Der Kolk

I am bigger than anything that can happen to me.
All these things, sorrow, misfortune, and suffering, are outside my door.
I am in the house, and I have the key. ~ Charles F. Lummis

He was still so very young. Faeries - true faeries, not their changeling throwaways - live forever, and when you have an eternity of adulthood ahead of you, you linger over childhood. You tend it and keep it close to your heart, because once it ends, it's over. Quentin was barely fifteen. He'd never seen the Great Hunt that came down every twenty-one years, or been present for the crowning of a King or Queen of Cats, or announced his maturity before the throne of High King Aethlin. He was a child, and he should have had decades left to play; a century of games and joy and edging cautiously toward adulthood.
But he didn't. I could see his childhood dying in his eyes as he looked at me, silently begging me to answer for him. ~ Seanan McGuire

As a child, I was always interested in building things. Instead of buying candy, I would purchase nails, which I used to construct things out of scrap wood. My mother always claimed that my spending my money on nails instead of on candy was why I was so skinny as a kid. ~ Robert H. Grubbs

When I was a child, the FA Cup was one of the crown jewels of the sporting year, along with the Grand National, Wimbledon and The Open. But with every announcement it seems to lose another piece of its identity. First it was sponsors added to the name, followed by the semi-finals at Wembley. ~ Gary Neville

Better the cruelty of family than loving neglect that leaves a child unready for a savage universe. ~ Morgan Blayde

Some people say that love itself is the most powerful magic," Caitlyn said.
"But would true love make a man go against every principle that had guided his life, and make him break vows he had made to God?" Raphael
shook his head. "Simon brought Eshael here, to the château, but she would not give up her goddess and so he could not marry her. The local men
were frightened of Eshael and her strange ways. There were stories of firelight in the caves that pierce the cliffs beneath the château, and the
dancing shadows of local women that Eshael had converted to worship of her goddess.
"Simon's love for Eshael began to fade; he started to see evil in all she did and all she was. The final straw came after Eshael bore him their first
child, a daughter. When Simon discovered Eshael consecrating their child to her goddess, the last vestiges of his love turned to hatred. In his rage,
he killed her. ~ Lisa Cach

Clouds there are none, and clear stars beam mild, God, in His mercy, protection is showing, Comfort and hope to the poor orphan child. Ev'n should I fall o'er the broken bridge passing, Or stray in the marshes, by false lights beguiled, Still will my Father, with promise and blessing, Take to His bosom the poor orphan child. There is a thought that for strength should avail me, Though both of shelter and kindred despoiled; Heaven is a home, and a rest will not fail me; ~ Charlotte Bronte

They walked back into the world together, wearing the gift that had been given them: just life. Pity was not love, Barbie reflected ... but if you were a child, giving clothes to someone who was naked had to be a step in the right direction. ~ Stephen King

I grew up on a farm in Oregon, an adopted child, with one sibling, and parents the age of all my peers' grandparents. We lived in isolation from the people around us, and it was always a struggle to cope with as a child. The heart can really expire under those conditions. I always felt like I was looking at the world from the outside. ~ Larry Harvey

She is possibly the last child they will bring into living, and she is extremely delicate. She dislikes what little food they have but loves chicken and coffee. So, steadily, they have bumped off a long string of chickens to feed her, and she drinks two or three cups of black and parboiled coffee at every meal. Her eyes shine like burning oil and almost continuously she dances with drunkenness. ~ James Agee

Parents who daily read Robert Lewis Stevenson to their children and surrounds them with blocks, plastic animals, and some cardboard boxes or kitchen pots and pans are going to produce a qualitatively different child from those who spend that time on TV or videos, even if their choices ARE only Winnie the Pooh and Mr. Rogers. ~ Diane Medved

Three can eat as cheaply as two, the well-known arithmetic of resignation in any family where a child is expected, now one can say with even greater authority, Ten million can eat as cheaply as five, and with a quiet smile, A nation is nothing but a great big family. ~ Jose Saramago

TINA: Oh, Rick, Rick, I'm scared. What's happened to us? I can't seem to find us any more. I reach out and reach out and we're just not there. I'm frightened. I'm a frightened child (Looks out the window) I hate this rain. Sometimes I see me dead in it.
RICK (quietly): My darling, isn't that a line from 'A Farewell To Arms'?
TINA (turns, furious): Get out of here. Get out! Get out of here before I jump out of this window.

Zooey took a parting look at the page he had been reading, then closed the manuscript and dropped it over the side of the tub. 'Jesus Christ almighty,' he said. 'Sometimes I see me dead in the rain. ~ J.D. Salinger

I used to take 40 minutes to warm up before going on stage. If you want to spend time with your child as well as having a career, you have to get up there even if your head's a mess. It's made me more relaxed, and I'm having some of my best shows. ~ Idina Menzel

The sparkling smile became enormous. 'Do you think she has a dagger there? Do you? Ask her, M. Francis? For,' said the most noble and most powerful Princess Mary Stewart, Queen of Scotland, delving furiously under all the stiff red velvet, showing shift, hose and garters, shoes, knees and a long ribboned end of something recently torn loose, and emerging therefrom with a fist closed tight on an object short and hard and glittering, 'for I have!' And breathlessly, flinging back her head, with the little knife offered like a quill, 'Try to stab me!' she encouraged her visitor. There was a queer silence, during which the eyes of Oonagh O'Dwyer and her love of one night met and locked like magnet and iron. The child, waiting a moment, offered again, the ringing, joyful defiance still in her voice. 'Try to stab me! … Go on, and I'll kill you all dead!'

Her throat dry, Oonagh spoke. 'Save your steel for those you trust. They are the ones who will carry your bier; the men who cannot hate, nor can they know love. Send away the cold servants.' The red mouth had opened a little; the knife hung forgotten in her hand.

'I would,' said Mary, surprised. 'But I do not know any.' And, anxiously demonstrating her point, she caught Lymond by the hand. ~ Dorothy Dunnett

Lottie had always found, while in her own nursery at home, kicking and screaming would always be quieted by any means she insisted upon. Poor plump Miss. Amelia was trying first one method, then another.
"Poor darling!" she said one moment; "I know you haven't any mamma, poor-" Then in quite another tone: "If you don't stop, Lottie, I will shake you. Poor little angel! There-there! You wicked, bad, detestable child, I will smack you! I will! ~ Frances Hodgson Burnett

As a child, I disliked books in which children learned to be 'better' children. ~ Beverly Cleary

We fear something before we hate it; a child who fears noises becomes a man who hates noises. ~ Cyril Connolly

A year and a half had indeed made some changes in Veda's appearance. She was still no more than medium height, but her haughty carriage made her seem taller. The hips were as slim as ever, but had taken on some touch of voluptuousness. The legs were Mildred's, to the last graceful contour. But the most noticeable change was what Monty brutally called the Dairy: two round, swelling protuberances that had appeared almost overnight on the high, arching chest. They would have been large, even for a woman: but for a child of thirteen they were positively startling. Mildred had a mystical feeling about them: they made her think tremulously of Love, Motherhood, and similar milky concepts. ~ James M. Cain

As child, when the elders spoke their wise words, it only echoes in my ears. As adult, I have crystal clear insight to the wise aphorisms by the elderly. ~ Lailah Gifty Akita

Let us remember: One book, one pen, one child, and one teacher can change the world. ~ Malala Yousafzai

Who has not watched a mother stroke her child's cheek or kiss her child in a certain way and felt a nervous shudder at the possessive outrage done to a free solitary human soul? ~ John Cowper Powys

That he could not enkindle in the heart of the child what was ashes in his own. ~ Cormac McCarthy

You see yourself as if old and wise.
I see you really miss your childhood. ~ Toba Beta

Magic won't save us. The power it would take to conjure on such a scale, the tithe would destroy us. The only hope ... is hope. You don't need tokens for it- it's in your heart or nowhere. And in your heart, child, it had been stronger than I have ever seen. ~ Laini Taylor

Because immigrants have always been particularly prone to repetition - it's something to do with that experience of moving from West to East or East to West or from island to island. Even when you arrive, you're still going back and forth; your children are going round and round. There's no proper term for it - original sin seems too harsh; maybe original trauma would be better. ~ Zadie Smith

The reward of child rearing is spending the rest of your life proudly knowing this person you helped guide. Let him be himself. ~ Mike Sager

Speech is the birthright of every child. It is the deaf child's one fair chance to keep in touch with his fellows. ~ Helen Keller

It was not easy with a newborn, asking your wife to give up the family home and your security. ~ Heston Blumenthal

So where does the secure attachment come from? As more studies become available, there is increasing evidence that a secure attachment style doesn't originate from a single source. The equation of a caring and sensitive parent producing a secure-for-life child is too one-dimensional; instead it seems that an entire mosaic of factors comes together to create this attachment pattern: our early connection with our parents, our genes, and also something else- our romantic experiences as adults. On average, about 70 to 75 percent of adults remain consistently in the same attachment category at different points in their lives, while the remaining 25 to 30 percent of the population report a change in their attachment style.
Researchers attribute this change to romantic relationships in adulthood that are so powerful that they actually revise our most basic beliefs and attitudes toward connectedness. And yes, that change can happen in both directions- secure people can become less secure and people who were originally insecure can become increasingly secure. If you are insecure, this piece of information is vital and could be your ticket to happiness in relationships. If you are secure, you should be aware of this finding because you have a lot to lose by becoming less secure. p140 ~ Amir Levine

In our wildest aberrations we dream of an equilibrium we have left behind and which we naively expect to find at the end of our errors. Childish presumption which justifies the fact that child-nations, inheriting our follies, are now directing our history. ~ Albert Camus