Chicken Funny Quotes

I don't know all the certain words to word it. ~ Vanilla Ice

You're (I'm) not weird, you're (I'm) just not preticularily normal. ~ Ben Van Waterschoot

For the second time today, someone had made him his favorite. But only one woman had gotten it right. Chicken-fried steak had been his favorite years ago. His tastes had changed. ~ Becky Wade

What?" Richardson snarled. "No smart retort, Mr. Gautier? Cat swallow your tongue?"
Nick gave her a charming grin he didn't really feel. "No, ma'am. A gator named Sense Formerly Known as Common."
Sneering at him, she tottered her way to her desk so that she could insult someone else and ruin their day.
Caleb let out an annoyed breath. -Great,- he projected to Nick. -Now I have to get detention, too. I really hate you, Gautier.-
Nick batted his eyelashes at Caleb. -But I wubs you, Caliboo.-
That succeeded in wringing a groan out of Caleb.
"What was that, Mr. Malphas?" Richardson asked.
"Severe intestinal woe caused by an external hemorrhoid that seems to be growing on my right-hand side." He cast a meaningful glower toward Nick.
The class erupted into laughter as Richardson shot to her feet. "Enough!" She slammed her hands on her desk. "For that, Mr. Malphas, you can join Mr. Gautier in after-school detention."
Caleb let out an irritated sigh. --More quality time with my hemorrhoid. Just what I wanted for Christmas. Yippee ki-yay.-- ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

I love to eat. That's why I got so fat; I love to eat. If I don't walk away from a meal hurting, I didn't do it right. If I don't walk away from Thanksgiving dinner feeling like I've been turkey-f**ked in a gingerbread prison, I didn't do it right. ~ Greg Behrendt

Take a pause for a cause..!! ~ Nikhil

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. ~ Douglas Adams

That big guy, Winfield, at 6'6, can do things only a small man can do. ~ Jerry Coleman

I take Charb's point, but at some point has Charlie Hebdo been trying to have it both ways because some of what they do is not funny. ~ Scott Simon

Parenthood is the passing of a baton, followed by a lifelong disagreement as to who dropped it. ~ Robert Breault

It's about something that strikes you as funny but I do it with a Christian world view: why we think the way we do based on God's plan. I lift up my God and my country and I resist political correctness. ~ Brad Stine

I like to cook simple things, like vegetable egg-white omelets; roast chicken; sauteed chicken breast with curry powder; and Greek salad. Just things that are fresh and healthy and fast and easy, because I have such a crazy schedule. ~ Sasha Cohen

It used to be cars had cool names: Dart, Hawk, Fury, Cougar, Firebird, Hornet, Mustang, Barracuda. Now we have Elantra, Altima, Acura, Lumina, Sentra, Corolla, Maxima, Tercel. Further proof that America has lost its edge. ~ George Carlin

I see uncool people! ~ Tonya Hurley

You think this is funny?" I snorted. "You would. Your sense of humor is so dark, even the lesser demons don't get you. ~ Pippa DaCosta

If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently? ~ Kristen Schaal

Questions are creative acts of intelligence. ~ Francis Kingdon Ward

Appeasement, said Winston Churchill, consists of being nice to a crocodile in the hope that he will eat you last. At the moment, the biggest crocodile in the world is Microsoft, and everybody is busy sucking up to it. ~ John Naughton

Brightness ... I believe you stray into sarcasm."
"Funny.I thought I'd run straight into it,screaming at the top of my lungs. ~ Brandon Sanderson

Instead of having a baby, why dont you get a tattoo of a baby first, and see how that works out for six months to a year, and then see if you're ready to have a baby. ~ Chelsea Handler

In better times, we're celebrate Christmas Eve by attending the nativity play at the Catholic church down the road, watching Joseph and Mary and Baby Jesus try to escape from Herod's soldiers and their wooden swords and AK-47s (it wasn't the most accurate version, but it was funny.) ~ William Kamkwamba

The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts. ~ Conan O'Brien

We call the one side [of humanity] religion, and we call the other science. Religion is always right ... Science is always wrong; it is the very artifice of men. Science can never solve one problem without raising ten more problems. ~ George Bernard Shaw

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.' ~ Lillian Gordy Carter

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. ~ Cathy Guisewite

Please believe me. I've nothing against you personally. It's just that I laugh at all jokes. ~ Fakeer Ishavardas

Dear God," said Nudge under her breath, "I want real parents. But I want them to want me too. I want
them to love me. I already love them. Please see what you can do. Thanks very much. Love, Nudge."
Okay, so I'm not saying we were pros at this or anything. (Max thoughts) ~ James Patterson

The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. ~ Steven Wright

We're adults. I might be a little more of an adult if you're counting years but I bet I have a lower IQ, so that puts us pretty much even. ~ Robyn Carr

Hey! When he dug into it, rifling through her things, she snapped, Go Yoda someone else's supplies, asshole. ~ Kresley Cole

The eyes of a dog, the expression of a dog, the warmly wagging tail of a dog and the gloriously cold damp nose of a dog were in my opinion all God-given for one purpose only-to make complete fools of us human beings. ~ Barbara Woodhouse

What is it?" There is almost nothing I could refuse him at this

very moment. Sex on the picnic bench? Check. Strip off and do the

Macarena on the grass? Check. Crawl under the table and do naughty

things? Not much experience in that department, but…check. Ride off

into the sunset? Double check. ~ Sarah Castille

I'm just a dog person. I love dogs very much, especially big ones, hounds, and retrievers. I think they are funny and often have good senses of humor. Plus, they give unconditional love. ~ Arthur Bradford

It's funny how easy it is to point out other peoples mistakes and make our own mistakes seem insignificant. ~ Jack Kirby

Eventually light prevails, you just have to be patient. So practice Buddhism, learn to be enlightened, put a smile on your face, go find a great teacher, meditate, and stay funny. ~ Frederick Lenz

The Ankh-Morpork Trespassers' Society was originally the Explorers' Society until Lord Vetinari forcibly insisted that most of the places 'discovered' by the society's members already had people in them, who were already trying to sell snakes to the newcomers. ~ Terry Pratchett

Sithspit! What's that?'
'That's the sun, Wedge. It's after dawn.'
'Well, it offends me. Turn it off.'
'It's a hundred thirty, hundred forty million klicks from here.'
'Go up in your X-wing and shoot it down for me. ~ Aaron Allston

My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. ~ John Barrymore

She wished there was some place where she could go to hum it out loud. Some kind of music was too private to sing in a house cram fall of people. It was funny, too, how lonesome a person could be in a crowded house. ~ Carson McCullers