Chelsea Quotes

Think of someone you want to touch whom you cannot touch, someone forbidden. Think of a room where there is nothing except the two of you: still, you cannot touch them. Think of the heat between two hands about to touch, the language that exists in that silence."

from "A Simple Woman ~ Chelsea Hodson

So you have chosen aloneness. You have chosen the security and the relative freedom of solitude, because there is no risk involved. You can stay up every night and watch your TV shows and eat ice cream out of the box and scroll through your Tumblr and never let your brain sit still, not even for a moment. You can fill your days up with books and coffees and trips to the store where you forget what you wanted the second you walk in the automatic sliding door. You can do so many little, pointless things throughout the day that all you can think of is how badly you want to sleep, how heavy your whole body is, how much your feet hurt. You can wear yourself out again and again on the pavement, and you do, and it feels good. No one will ever bridge that gap and point to your stomach or your hair or your eyes in the mirror and magically make you see the wonderful things about getting to be next to you. And maybe that's it, after all, this fear that no one will ever truly feel about you the way you want to be felt about. Maybe what you want is someone to make you love yourself, to put sense into all that positive rhetoric, to make it so the aloneness of TV and blasting music in your ears at all times isn't the most happy place you can think of. Maybe you want someone who makes you so sure of how wonderful things are that you cannot help but to tell them your feelings first, even at the risk of being humiliated. Because you will know that, when you're telling them you love them, what ~ Chelsea Fagan

His whole relationship with Gretchen was one long postcoital illusion ~ Chelsea Cain

I think my advice to other actors would be to get in classes. Get out in front of people. Put up scenes in front of your peers. ~ Chelsea Kane

He had an accent. A British one. There was something about a British accent that had always made me quiver deep down inside and touched me in places a regular New England accent just couldn't reach. ~ Chelsea M. Cameron

He smelled like leather and water. "I think," she said quietly, now that their mouths were close to each other, "that easy and clean love is not true. It is simply convenient. Messy love, though ... that is something to revel in. ~ Chelsea Fine

School went exactly as Violet thought it would: weird. It wasn't her best, and it wasn't her worst, day ever. It was just weird.
Jay was true to his word, deciding not to hold anything back. And it started the second they got out of the car, when he claimed her hand and refused to let go, even when Violet tugged and pulled to try to get it away from him. He ignored her mute protests and held on tight, smiling more to himself than to her, and paraded her right into the school like that.
Not that they'd never held hands before, because they had. But this was entirely different, and Jay was hell-bent on making sure that everyone knew it. And just in case anyone wondered what the hand-holding actually meant, he made sure to clear things up for them by planting a big, albeit very satisfying, kiss on her lips, right in the middle of the hallway. Violet didn't try to pull away from that; in fact, she was dismayed to find herself leaning into him, craving more, and not caring - at least at that moment - who might see them together.
Unfortunately that person turned out to be Chelsea. Chelsea, of all people, along with Claire, who happened to walk up at very inopportune instant.
"Well, well, well," Chelsea said in an oh-so-innocent voice. "Look what we have here, Claire-bear. It's old Jay and Violet." The unconcealed smile was embedded deep in her voice. "Only, and correct me if I'm wrong, this looks a little more than friendly, don't you think?"
"I never kiss ~ Kimberly Derting

Piece of cake. Or toast, in your case. I'll stuff your toast, baby. ~ Chelsea M. Cameron

I'm partial to telling all the sharks they're not as cool as they think they are, and that it's people like them who bankrupt the tooth fairy and don't leave any tooth money for the rest of us. Or we can make out some more. I'm planning on moaning, 'oh, Salty! You bad sea demon!' next time. Just so you're prepared."
Kat grins. "Who says we can't do both?"
"I knew I loved you." I lean in and kiss her. And then a shark swims by and I shake my fist at it and ask it where all my quarters are. ~ Chelsea M. Campbell

I suddenly thought back to a time when I was crying on the playground in first grade. We'd all been working on an art project and I was put on a team with Chelsea, her neighbor Erica, and a girl named Mary Jo Myers. We were all supposed to work together, but the three of them cut me out completely, acting like I wasn't even there. If I spoke, they ignored me. If I tried to do something, they pulled it out of my reach. I was in tears by the time we broke for recess, sure nobody in the world liked me. ~ Stephanie Faris

A trained bus thrower like Gabriel, or Robin Hood wannabe like Scarlet, or a ninja assassin like Tristan ~ Chelsea Fine

Why does everything come downn to sex with you?"
"It's not just about the sex, Missy. Although, that part is a lot of fun. It's the other stuff. Waking up naked next to someone and knowing you've shared something. That you were connected, if only for a few minutes,"
"Is that what it's like for you?"
"It would be with you. ~ Chelsea M. Cameron

Why do I regret Chelsea? I'm the boss of the richest club in the world. I have not had much time to adjust myself, but I've found a great restaurant! That is the first thing I did when I arrived! ~ Carlo Ancelotti

If I might offer any apology for so exaggerated a fiction as the Barnacles and the Circumlocution Office, I would seek it in the common experience of an Englishman, without presuming to mention the unimportant fact of my having done that violence to good manners, in the days of a Russian war, and of a Court of Inquiry at Chelsea. If I might make so bold as to defend that extravagant conception, Mr Merdle, I would hint that it originated after the Railroad-share epoch, in the times of a certain Irish bank, and of one or two other equally laudable enterprises. If I were to plead anything in mitigation of the preposterous fancy that a bad design will sometimes claim to be a good and an expressly religious design, it would be the curious coincidence that it has been brought to its climax in these pages, in the days of the public examination of late Directors of a Royal British Bank. ~ Charles Dickens

Gabriel cocked his head to the side. "Is that what happened in her last life too? You just accidentally
touched Scarlet enough to set the lifeforce transition into motion? God! How much touching did you
do?"
Tristan narrowed his eyes. "What do you want, like a scale of one to ten? ~ Chelsea Fine

Do not give up, or enter into a relationship of convenience... In all likelihood, your Steve is out there somewhere on an equally bad date, wondering where the fuck you are. ~ Chelsea Fairless

She'd subjugate her own wants and needs to suit him. Same old Chelsea. ~ Samanthe Beck

Nate called out, "Team Meeting!" and pointed a finger in the air.
When he had everyone's attention, Nate cleared his throat. "There are a few Team Awesome things we need to discuss."
Tristan leaned over to Gabriel. "What's Team Awesome?"
"It's our team name," Heather smiled.
"We're not a team," Gabriel said.
"We are a team," Nate corrected. "We're Team Awesome and I'm team captain." He looked at Tristan. "You can call me Captain. Or Captain America, if you'd like. I'm even willing to settle for Captain Jack."
Tristan crossed his arms. "Yeah, that's not going to happen."
Heather's eyes lit up. "Ooh! Can we choose code names? Can I be Catwoman?"
"We're not choosing code names." Gabriel looked incredibly annoyed and Tristan almost smiled. ~ Chelsea Fine

What United have got that Chelsea haven't is Paul Scholes. I think he is different to anything else in English football. ~ Kevin Keegan

The only reason I really believe in my own goodness is because I see it reflected in her eyes
-Jake Becker ~ Emma Chase

Heather turned her voice up full volume. "Gabriel Michael Archer, wake up this minute!"
With his eyes still closed, he grumbled, "My middle name isn't Michael."
"I don't care. Wake up! ~ Chelsea Fine

I love the 6 Nations rugby. I feel very Scottish then. I feel very Scottish now, sitting in the middle of Chelsea. But that's part of our heritage - being part of Britain, part of Europe. I love being European. ~ Rory Bremner

A knock interrupted my thoughts. "You okay?"
"Yeah. Can I have some freaking privacy?"
"Sorry. You've just been in there for a while; I wanted to make sure you weren't sick or anything. I'm leaving now. Also, I'm naked, so if you open the door right now, you're going to get the full show."
"Pass."
"Suit yourself. ~ Chelsea M. Cameron

For me… it was excruciating." He closed his eyes for a moment then focused on her. "It is so painful to truly love someone so much and not have them. For years I practiced tolerating that pain. Around the time I was sixteen I could finally stand to look at you. So, I did, all the damn time. I watched you so carefully. I captured every smile, every frown, every tear from you. I wanted you… but I couldn't have you. Then one day we became friends and
the pain came back, but I didn't care because you were my friend, my best friend. But when you kissed me, I realized the feeling I had before was nothing compared to what I felt when we kissed. I felt alive… and guilty and betrayed, because it's not fair. It's not fair for me to go through that… to want to kiss you every day, every hour, every minute for the rest of my miserable life, but I want to. I'm afraid that it will get to a point where I need to. I have been in love with you since I was eight years old. I have hated the way my father has treated me, but nothing has hurt me as much as the pain of my mother's death except seeing you and my brother in bliss. What I want is for you to stay in this room with me. I want to feel how you feel, taste how you taste, and completely fall in you because I'm just… tired of always wanting what I can't have. I want to make you smile, make you happy… I want to be inside you… I want to give you pleasure in every way… mind, body, and soul… I am completely, madly… and utterly in love with ~ Chelsea Ballinger

If someone took the 'F' letter off me, I'd be ucked. ~ Chelsea Handler

I hear your voice in my sleep. When I'm near you, I am aware of every fucking second your body shifts. When I'm not near you... I can't even think straight because I'm too busy thinking about what stupid thing you said or visualizing every smile you give me. Seeing you with my brother awakens my dark heart... kissing you, carves out my soul. I forsake every itch my body has for you just so I cannot be trapped by you. Never in my life have I wanted a woman so much yet couldn't do it because I know that once we really just..." I lift my hands up clawing at the air. "When we sink into each other... it will be over. ~ Chelsea Ballinger

Hilarious, insightful, and smart. A must-read for anyone who wears clothes. ~ Chelsea Handler

If I feel like I am about to explode, I take a minute to evaluate what it is that I have on my plate, make a to-do list, and start tackling what I need to do, one step at a time. ~ Chelsea Krost

In any normal season, most of the teams below Chelsea would think they are doing quite well. ~ Alex Ferguson

There are some die-hard 'Chelsea Lately' fans, and that's where the majority of my fans come from. Chelsea is really helping make comedy audiences hipper and edgier. ~ Natasha Leggero

My negotiation skills are are on par with George Bush's reading ability. And just like Dubya, every time I've tried to put forth an effort, I am reminded that my only true strength lies in drinking. ~ Chelsea Handler

I like signing books for a living; I do. But you have no idea the panic that sets in. I am not a very good speller. Put me in a stresser situation, and I lose all capacity to recall how to spell the most simple names. ~ Chelsea Cain

I've been to the White House and had Hilary Clinton push through the crowd to come and meet me. Chelsea Clinton, too. ~ Lesley Nicol

My parents were definitely on the incentive side of parenting. Like, they told me that my father had learned to read when he was three. So, of course, I thought I had to, too. ~ Chelsea Clinton

Gretchen took a beautiful mugshot. ~ Chelsea Cain

This is a game between players from 12 national sides, a game that if you have a friend in China, in Brazil, in Qatar ... in half the world he wants to watch. I was thinking of this game when I signed for Chelsea. ~ Luiz Felipe Scolari

Oxford is wonderful. I'm having a great time. We do go out, but I still try to spend most of my time studying in the library. ~ Chelsea Clinton

It was time for me to take charge and live my life instead of letting something that had happened to me lead it for me. So many people had told me the same thing, hundreds of times. It was something I had to learn for myself. ~ Chelsea M. Cameron

I'd often mused that writers and doctors were similar people. We all had God complexes and liked control. The only thing that separated us was a lot of schooling and science classes. And the fact that the people whose lives I messed with weren't real. ~ Chelsea M. Cameron

The only people I owe an apology to are my dead parents. Except my father because he's still alive. ~ Chelsea Handler

We lie to each other all the time. Whatever we say, it doesn't mean anything."
"I'll believe you," she said. ~ Chelsea Cain

I'm really into the human interest thing. I really like regular people. ~ Chelsea Handler

Remember every team wants to beat Chelsea, probably even more than Manchester United or Arsenal because they believe we have an unfair advantage. ~ Frank Lampard

I can't imagine anything that would make the world look more different than if women and girls were unequivocally enfranchised. ~ Chelsea Clinton

I guess the mass of all the things you love in the world is less than or equal to the combined weight of all the hearts you've mishandled. ~ Chelsea Martin

Personally, I'd have a baby just for the epidural. ~ Chelsea Handler

Uh ... Scar?" Tristan tried to sound calm. "You know you still have a knife in your hand?" Scarlet looked down at the weapon. "Yes. I want to take it with me." "Why?" Heather swallowed. "Um." Scarlet looked confused. "I don't know. But I know I want it with me. ~ Chelsea Fine

The first sort of big present I remember getting from Santa Claus was quite a small telescope that I remember going into our backyard with my parents and figuring out how to assemble, and staring at the night sky, just for hours, with both of my parents. ~ Chelsea Clinton

Now picture the suspenders attached to a pair of sweatpants. This vision is what first led me to coin the term camel balls. ~ Chelsea Handler

When you interview celebrities, they're so guarded so many times, they can't reveal anything. ~ Chelsea Handler

At places like Chelsea, often the garden displays are so big and grand that you'd never be able to have them at home. ~ Anton Du Beke

So ... " Heather nodded slowly. "We're still here."
"Yep. I think your team of SWAT guys got lost. Probably looking for their shirts."
She made a face at him. "You're effing hilarious."
"I try. ~ Chelsea Fine

You get photographed together when there's 25 people with you and people assume that you're having sex, which is definitely not the case. ~ Chelsea Handler

What are you thinking about?" Jay asked as he plopped down next to her.
She blinked, wondering if she was wearing her frustration on her face. "Nothing," she lied, pushing her salad around her plate.
She wasn't sure why she didn't just tell him.
"Doesn't look like nothing," Jules interrupted from across the table.
Violet cast a quick glare at her friend for inconveniently pointing out the obvious.
"What?" Jay asked, nudging Violet with his shoulder. "Tell me."
Violet hesitated, suddenly embarrassed over her new insecurity. Yet, inside her head, she bitterly referred to Mike as "Jay's boyfriend."
Ironically, though, it was Mike who saved Violet from having to confess those very thoughts, when he slid into an open space on the other side of the table. "What'd I miss?" His lazy smile reached all the way into his tawny-colored eyes, and even the dimples on his cheek made a fleeting appearance.
Violet could see the draw for Chelsea; he was sort of stunning to look at.
So then what was Jay's excuse? She jokingly hoped it wasn't the adorable dimple too. ~ Kimberly Derting

So you killed my father? You killed my bride?" he growled.
"She wasn't even your woman."
Why did everyone feel the need to remind him of that? ~ Chelsea Fine

I think comedy has to come from your authentic point of view. ~ Chelsea Handler

I will probably have sex with Eminem after the show is over. Probably, I dont see why I wouldnt. Im fair game, its not like Im that picky, youve seen the guys Ive dated. I like Swizz Beatz, just because I would like to yell out in bed, Swizz Beatz! Keep it coming! ~ Chelsea Handler

If diamonds are a girl's best friend, I wonder if blood diamonds are a girl's best friend 5 days out of the month? ~ Chelsea Handler

Chelsea are not made to play football. We're good on the counter, a little bit like Real against Bayern. ~ Eden Hazard

Is this good for English football? In the short run, Chelsea's rise has broken up what was turning into an irritating Arsenal-Manchester United duopoly. But football leagues (look at Scotland, look at Spain) can get along OK with duopolies. A monopoly, however, is a disaster. Everyone else in the Premiership has to operate on some kind of business footing, and the terror stalking Highbury and Old Trafford is that Chelsea will be immune from financial discipline forever. ~ Matthew Engel

Storylines are how characters create the plots involved in their stories. ~ Chelsea Quinn Yarbro

There's a reason you never see anyone's house with a Beware of Cat sign. Because they're not even worth mentioning. ~ Chelsea Handler

You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU ~ Chelsea Handler

She fell down fifty-five floors. It took 10.6 seconds for her to hit the ground. It took my father forty-eight hours to come back home from his business trip in Sweden. ~ Chelsea Ballinger

It's good that people don't like you. That's good. It means that you are doing something interesting. ~ Chelsea Handler

I loved working on Wall Street. I loved the meritocracy of it and the camaraderie of the trading floor. ~ Chelsea Clinton

I'd ask myself, 'What do I think is really unjust?' That should be a starting point for how you engage with the world. ~ Chelsea Clinton

I can do this all night. Because you make me feel this way. You, above me, riding me, and making those sounds that I love. You're the only person I've ever let go with, the only woman who knows the real me. ~ Chelsea M. Cameron

Some people have a phobia of midgets. They're, like, scared of them. I have the opposite - I see them, and I want to hold them down, cuddle them, be like, 'Come here, you little nugget. Who's your mommy now?' So cute! ~ Chelsea Handler

It's hard to bury your head in Los Angeles. People come up to you and say, 'Hey, I saw your picture on a bus.' It's tricky: You're excited by the possibilities, but you don't want to get too crazy. ~ Chelsea Peretti

These notes are little pieces of history no one cares about, but they remind you that you're not the first person to hold that book. Someone else owned it first and read the exact same words, and one way or another, it impacted them. We're all connected. ~ Chelsea Sedoti

I always thought to myself, 'I don't want to be doing stand-up when I'm 40 years old.' ~ Chelsea Handler

If the sky starts to fall, I'll catch it for you, pretty girl. ~ Chelsea M. Cameron

I would rather sit next to a transgender person and discuss why every single one I've met smells like a bar in the daytime than listen to people tell my why I want to have children and that I just don't know it yet. I do know, because I'm me and my feelings are the ones in my head. I don't want to have kids, and it's not a device to get attention or have conversations about it. I simply find children incredibly immature and, more often than not, dumb. ~ Chelsea Handler

I believe that engaging in the political process is part of being a good person. ~ Chelsea Clinton

Tae kwon do required focus, strength, and endurance, but mostly it required the ability to deal with looking like an ass in public. ~ Chelsea Cain

I met my first midget in Mexico, and he was a waiter with a sombrero on his head, filled with chips and salsa. Like I was gonna let that guy get away - I don't think so. ~ Chelsea Handler

Ugly people kill people all the time. But when pretty people did, it got attention. ~ Chelsea Cain

I try not to apologize, especially publicly. That's a slippery slope, because I'm a comedian. If you take anything I'm saying too seriously, then you shouldn't be paying attention in the first place. If you find me offensive, don't follow me. ~ Chelsea Handler

And every day that I spend as Charlotte and Aiden's mother, I think about my own mother, my wonderful, thoughtful, hilarious mother. ~ Chelsea Clinton

I can't," I said. "I threw my back out masturbating. ~ Chelsea Handler

Subject: Challenge accepted
Mr. Zaccadelli,
If you keep this up, I'm going to report you to the workplace hotline for harassment. They don't take kindly to tattooed, guitar-playing dudes making advances toward sweet, innocent girls. Game ON.
Sincerely,
The Girl You Will Never Have
P.S. Esquire? You are so full of shit. ~ Chelsea M. Cameron

It's hard to see love when you have it, but when it's gone you're blind to anything else. ~ Chelsea Fine

Your lack of geographical knowledge is truly astounding. ~ Chelsea Handler

Paris Hilton is one of the hosts for Nicole Richie's baby shower, and they're serving sushi. Awesome, Paris - sushi, the one thing pregnant women are forbidden to eat. Thanks for the mercury. ~ Chelsea Handler

I didn't wave my daisy. I felt small, the way an ant must feel looking up at a field of wildflowers. I was nothing. I was trapped below flowers, buried under them, while girls like Lizzie Lovett danced overhead. That was life. We all have a place. ~ Chelsea Sedoti

Heather Awry (The Archers of Avalon, #2)
Okay, if my B-F-F goes rogue and starts trying to chop me into pieces, I fully expect your immortal hotness to protect me, got it? ~ Chelsea Fine

I hate when men think that money is gonna buy you happiness ... I mean, it helps. ~ Chelsea Handler

It takes me a while to get my appetite going when I wake up early. ~ Chelsea Handler

Without ruining the ending, the gist is that he's a gay reindeer who can't afford a nose job, but he becomes a superstar in the end. It's all very inspirational. It turns out that, just like Rudolph, what I initially considered to be such a negative is, in fact, the very thing that has made me stand out. Not to sound preachy, but accepting my voice has given me the confidence I've needed to pursue my dreams. And just like Seal rocks his facial scars, Cindy Crawford works her mole, and Barbra Streisand wins every race by a nose, I hope you're inspired to make the most of your possibly less-than-perfect trademark, too. ~ Chelsea Handler

I went out with a guy who once told me I didn't need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I'm drinking so that you're more fun to be around. ~ Chelsea Handler

She tucked her lips in and eyed the pancakes Tristan pulled from the pan. "Making a midnight snack?"
She tried to sound light and casual. Normal. Friendly.
Not because Tristan deserved it, but because she wanted pancakes. And Tristan, apparently, was keeper of the pancakes. ~ Chelsea Fine

It scares me to see someone so together come unhinged. It makes me think none of us are in control. ~ Chelsea Pitcher

The Thames Shouldered its way past Blackfriars Bridge, impatient with the ancient piers, no longer the passive stream that slid past Chelsea Marina, but a rush of ugly water that had scented the open sea and was ready to make a run for it. ~ J.G. Ballard

I've been surrounded by nitwits my entire life. ~ Chelsea Ballinger

Working on 'Parks' was like heaven because everyone there was just intimidatingly intelligent and funny, and we would have these hilarious debates about really tangential things. It was inspiring because I felt really challenged to be my best. ~ Chelsea Peretti

How could I have missed the opportunity to pop pills with my sister who was purer than a Quaker? ~ Chelsea Handler

Scarlet shut the door behind her, leaning against it as she responded. "I came because you have been in great pain."
"Yes. And because of my great pain you still live. It seems my isolation is good for your wellbeing."
"The strength of my pulse has little to do with the health of my heart. ~ Chelsea Fine

Susan was already rehearsing excuses in case she was caught: I just got my period and I was looking for a tissue to stuff in my underpants. Men didn't question menstruation stories. Ever. You could probably get into the White House if you said you needed a tampon ASAP. ~ Chelsea Cain

I find the fact that more than 750,000 children still die every year around the world because of severe dehydration due to diarrhea unacceptable. ~ Chelsea Clinton