Charlaine Harris Quotes

By the way, I haven't heard an 'I'm sorry' from you yet." My sense of grievance had overwhelmed my sense of self-preservation.
I am sorry that the maenad picked on you."
I glared at him. "Not enough," I said. I was trying hard to hang on to this conversation.
Angelic Sookie, vision of love and beauty, I am prostrate that the wicked evil maenad violated your smooth and voluptuous body, in an attempt to deliver a message to me."
That's more like it. ~ Charlaine Harris

So a Sherrilyn Kenyon kinda shifter or a Charlaine Harris kinda shifter? ~ Alanea Alder

In this age of vampires, what I love about 'True Blood' the most is that it's a post-modern take on it. 'Sookie Stackhouse' series author Charlaine Harris and 'True Blood' creator Alan Ball turned that whole mythology upside-down ... It's not just about vampires. It's about a lot of different things. ~ Michelle Forbes

The night swelled with magic; not the beneficent kind of love-magic that sweeps couples away, but the kind of magic that rips and tears, the enchantment that creeps out of the woods and pounces. ~ Charlaine Harris

I dipped into his brain. He wasn't happy that I wasn't wearing a bra, because my boobs distracted him. He was thinking I was a bit too curvy for his taste. He was thinking he'd better not think about me that way anymore. He was missing his wife. ~ Charlaine Harris

I love the South, don't get me wrong; but it does lag behind the times in social developments. ~ Charlaine Harris

You want to own your own life," Eric said. "As much as anyone can." "Just when I think you're very simple, you say something complex," Eric said. "Are you complaining?" I tried to smile, failed. "No. ~ Charlaine Harris

Snow, here?" Eric was as delighted as a child. "I love snow!"
Why was I not surprised?
"Maybe we will get snowed in together," he said suggestively, waggling his blond eyebrows. ~ Charlaine Harris

Did we have sex?" he asked directly.
For about two minutes, this might actually be fun. "Eric," I said, "we had sex in every position I could imagine, and some I couldn't. We had sex in every room in my house, and we had sex outdoors. You told me it was the best you'd ever had." (At the time he couldn't recall all the sex he'd ever had. But he'd paid me a compliment.) "Too bad you can't remember it," I concluded with a modest smile.
Eric looked like I'd hit him in the forehead with a mallet. For all of thirty seconds his reaction was completely gratifying. ~ Charlaine Harris

You take I-55 south, and you'll run into I-20. Or you could take ... "
I was about to be overloaded with information. "Oh that sounds just perfect. Let me do just that, or I'll lose track."
Sure, glad I could help."
Oh, you surely did."
We beamed at each other, just two nice women. I had to fight an impulse to say "I have a tortured vampire in my trunk," out of sheer giddiness. ~ Charlaine Harris

And you are mine, and you will be mine. They
will not get you. - Eric from Dead and Gone ~ Charlaine Harris

I didn't know what to think about first: me seeing Claude naked, Claude seeing me naked, or the whole fact that we were related and naked in the same room.
(Sookie Stackhouse, Dead in the Family) ~ Charlaine Harris

Aubrey was in mufti, which definitely helped me to relax. He was disconcertingly attractive in his jeans and shirt; I had some definitely secular thoughts. ~ Charlaine Harris

I'm about as scientific as a saltine ~ Charlaine Harris

Least said soonest meanded ~ Charlaine Harris

People are really interested in the concept of eternal youth in this plastic-surgery culture. ~ Charlaine Harris

She killed Lorena in a fight? Eric's grin grew even broader. He was as proud as if he'd heard his firstborn reciting Shakespeare. ~ Charlaine Harris

For any writers at all, read everything you can and then put your butt in the chair and write. That's all there is to it. ~ Charlaine Harris

Very few of my characters are totally heroic or totally villainous. ~ Charlaine Harris

I gave myself a mental shake. Snapping out of a slump, that was what today was all about. ~ Charlaine Harris

I love you," Bill said helplessly, as if he wished those magic words would heal me. But he knew they wouldn't.
"That's what you all keep saying," I answered. "But it doesn't seem to get me any happier. ~ Charlaine Harris

If it's easy to be friendly she will be. If the wind blows the other way her friendship will be gone. And I'm thinking the wind is blowing the other way. She has found some other way to be an important person in her own right by hating others. ~ Charlaine Harris

with green beans and rice. ~ Charlaine Harris

My eyes flew open, and I pushed back against rock-hard shoulders. I let out a little squeak of horror.
"It's me," said a familiar voice.
... "Eric, what are you doing here?"
"Snuggling. ~ Charlaine Harris

But I also knew that if he turned away from me at this moment, somehow I would survive that, and I would find a way to flourish like the yard that still bloomed and grew around my family home.
I'm Sookie Stackhouse. I belong here. ~ Charlaine Harris

Vampires should never say Uh-Oh!! ~ Charlaine Harris

Sometimes you just have to roll in it. ~ Charlaine Harris

Not since the dark days of the Twilight franchise had it been so trendy to be dead. ~ Charlaine Harris

The god entered some women so completely that they became immortal, or very close to it. Bacchus was the god of the grape, of course, so bars are very interesting to maenads. In fact, so interesting that they don't like other creatures of darkness becoming involved. Maenads consider that the violence sparked by the consumption of alcohol belongs to them; that's what they feed off, now that no one formally worships their god. And they are attracted to pride. ~ Charlaine Harris

Love them to death. Sookie to Pam ~ Charlaine Harris

I try very hard to write the best book I possibly can, every time. ~ Charlaine Harris

The full moon symbol on my calendar no longer seemed to be a period marking the end of something, but just another way of counting time. ~ Charlaine Harris

As I watched Bill, waiting with apparent calm for death to come to him, I had a flash of him as I'd known him: the first vampire I'd ever met, the first man I'd ever gone to bed with, the first suitor I'd ever loved. Everything that followed had tainted those memories, but for one moment I saw him clearly, and I loved him again. ~ Charlaine Harris

One of the most wonderful, and the most appalling, things about Eric loving me was that he didn't give a shit about anyone else. ~ Charlaine Harris

But also because I find I really do ... " He paused, as if he were about to say something outrageous. "I find I have feelings for you."
"Oh," I said into his chest, sounding as astonished as Eric had( ... )"Eric," I said, after a long pause, "I almost hate to say this, but I have feelings for you, too. ~ Charlaine Harris

Weird doesn't equal morally bankrupt. ~ Charlaine Harris

The last thing I wanted to do was to sit in a crowded bar to watch my cousin get naked. ~ Charlaine Harris

Wow," I said, since it was all I could think of to say. "Wow. That's some outfit." When you've got a big guy wearing Lycra it doesn't leave a whole lot to the imagination. I resisted the temptation to ask Eric to turn around.
"I don't believe I could be convincing as a queen," Eric said, "but I decided this sent such a mixed signal, almost anything was possible." He fluttered his eyelashes at me. Eric was definitely enjoying this.
"Oh, yes," I said, trying to find somewhere else to look. (Living Dead in Dallas) ~ Charlaine Harris

You've reached Fangtasia, where the undead live again every night ... For bar hours, press one. To make a party reservation, press two. To talk to a live person or a dead vampire, press three. Or, if you were intending to leave a humorous prank message on our answering machine, know this: we will find you.
-Pam ~ Charlaine Harris

Make love," he suggested. "Make love with me."
"I'm not in the right mood for love."
"Let me try to persuade you. ~ Charlaine Harris

Food, the southern offering on the altar of crisis. ~ Charlaine Harris

Dated" in Selah's book, being a euphemism for "had enthusiastic and frequent sex with". ~ Charlaine Harris

You, on the other hand, are a sweet little éclair on the outside and a pit bull on the inside. ~ Charlaine Harris

I'll bet you are a treat, naked," Eric said, just to boost my spirits.
"You know it. I'm just as tasty as a big eclair," I said. ~ Charlaine Harris

No one expected to be safe until this century, if you read a little history. Think of the thousands of years before- years with no law, when the sword ruled. No widespread system of justice; no immunizations against disease. The local lord free to kill the husbands, husbands free to rape and kill their wives. Childbirth often fatal. No antibiotics. It's only here and now that women are raised believing they'll be safe. And it serves us false. It's not true. It dulls our sense of fear, which saves our lives. ~ Charlaine Harris

When I thought of the ferocity and strength of the fairy race, and the fact that it took all I had to open the damn blister pack and extricate the water pistols, my chosen method of defense seemed ludicrous. I'd be armed with a plastic water pistol and a trowel. ~ Charlaine Harris

Not a creature was stirring, not even an elf. ~ Charlaine Harris

That would do the trick," he said hoarsely. "Jesus, Harper, I don't understand why we don't have guys following us from town to town just to watch you do that."
"Because I've never done it for anyone but you," I said. "You don't think I'd say something like that to anyone else, do you?"
"Please," he said. "Please do that for me. And no one else. ~ Charlaine Harris

Despite the failure of Velda Cannon's Depends, we'd had a great time. ~ Charlaine Harris

Why don't they just take him out?" I asked. I'm not politically minded, as I guess you can tell. Mr. Cataliades was smiling at me. "So direct, so classic," he said. "So American. ~ Charlaine Harris

( ... ) that the creature I loved was lying somewhere in a hole underground, to all intents and purposes dead until dark. ~ Charlaine Harris

Lots of kids in our neck of the woods call their grandfathers Papaw ~ Charlaine Harris

When the second hour of Fiji's open house was almost at an end, a mother from Davy said, "How on earth do you get it to look like the cat is talking?" "Oh, did it look realistic?" Fiji had to struggle to keep a smile on her face. "It was so cute! It said, 'Get off my tail or I'll smother you in your sleep.'" "Just some batteries and a CD!" Fiji said. "And isn't that just what a cat should say? ~ Charlaine Harris

I would feel the urge to attack people, to bite them; they'd all be walking McBloodburgers to me. ~ Charlaine Harris

I certainly think we're going to see more and more graphic novels and more illustrated novels. ~ Charlaine Harris

How is Eric?'
'Very tightly wound. Plus, a lot of stuff happened that he'll tell you about.'
'Thanks for the warning. I'll go to the house now. You're my favorite breather.'
'Oh. Well ... great.'
She hung up. ~ Charlaine Harris

Everyone was getting married or falling in love. I was happy for them. Happy, happy, happy. I pasted a smile on my face and went to Piggly Wiggly. ~ Charlaine Harris

As exits go, that's a good one. It was pretty hard to have the last word with a vampire. ~ Charlaine Harris

My bullshit metre is reading that as false'. ~ Charlaine Harris

I have always been very fond of you." He'd always wanted to have sex with me. "Plus, I want to fuck you. ~ Charlaine Harris

There are times to think and times to lie fallow ~ Charlaine Harris

I trudged back to my bedroom and pushed the door open, intending to wash my face or brush my teeth or make some stab at smoothing my hair, because I thought it might make me feel a little less trampled.
Eric was sitting on my bed, his face buried in his hands. He looked up at me as I entered, and he looked shocked. Well, no wonder, what with the very thorough takeover and traumatic changing of the guard.
Sitting here on your bed, smelling your scent," he said in a voice so low I had to strain to hear it.
Sookie . . . I remember everything."
Oh, hell," I said, and went in the bathroom and shut the door. I brushed my hair and my teeth and scrubbed my face, but I had to come out. I was being as cowardly as Quinn if I didn't face the vampire.
Eric started talking the minute I emerged. "I can't believe I - "
Yeah, yeah, I know, loved a mere human, made all those promises, was as sweet as pie and wanted to stay with me forever," I muttered. Surely there was a shortcut we could take through this scene.
I can't believe I felt something so strongly and was so happy for the first time in hundreds of years," Eric said with some dignity. "Give me some credit for that, too. ~ Charlaine Harris

Not one man in a million would have allowed me the time without speaking. I opened my mind, let my gaurd down completely, relaxed. His silence washed over me. I stood, closed my eyes, breathed out the relief that was too profound for words. ~ Charlaine Harris

[Eric] 'So you want me to go to a human orgy, where I will not be welcome, and you want us to leave before I get to enjoy myself?'

[Sookie] 'Yes,' I said, almost squeaking in my anxiety. In for a penny, in for a pound. 'And... do you think you could pretend to be gay? ~ Charlaine Harris

I said the first thing that came into my head unfortunately. "Save the drama for your mama " I told her just like an eleven-year-old. ~ Charlaine Harris

Here's to books, the cheapest vacation you can buy. ~ Charlaine Harris

Just because one of Arlene's husbands was a murderer is no reason for me to be ugly ~ Charlaine Harris

Grip on consciousness slipped as easily and completely as had his hand. "No . . ." he said once more, very weakly. The canopy of trees above ~ Charlaine Harris

We could go back," he said. In the dome light of the car, his face looked hard as stone. "We could go back to your house. I can stay with you always. We can know each other's bodies in every way, night after night. I could love you." His nostrils flared, and he looked suddenly proud. "I could work. You would not be poor. I would help you."
"Sounds like a marriage," I said, trying to lighten the atmosphere. But my voice was too shaky.
"Yes," he said. ~ Charlaine Harris

The ache became longing, longing became nostalgia, nostalgia became fondness, and after a while he could see the funny side of it. A long while. ~ Charlaine Harris

This letter is written on the skin of one of the water sprites who drowned your parents.'
'Ick!' I cried, and dropped the letter on the kitchen table. ~ Charlaine Harris

Would Eric enjoy being a Sooner? As I navigated through Shreveport, I wondered if Oklahoma vampires wore cowboy boots and knew all the songs from the musical. ~ Charlaine Harris

Loveable Isn't he? -Eric Northman ~ Charlaine Harris

Hey, our hair's the same color," I said, eying us side by side in the mirror.
"Sure is, girlfriend." Eric grinned at me. ~ Charlaine Harris

His eyes were still like caves with ghosts dwelling in their depths. ~ Charlaine Harris

Earth is the home of the living, not the dead. ~ Charlaine Harris

Think if you love someone, you make an effort to suppress habits of yours that displease them, right? But those habits or inclinations are still there. Sam, ~ Charlaine Harris

Sookie: "Eric, when I'm back to being myself, I'm going to nail your ass for putting me in this position of being pledged to you." Eric: Darling, you can nail my ass anytime," he said charmingly, and turned to go back to his table. Pam rolled her eyes. "You two," she said. "Hey this isn't any of my doing," I said, which wasn't entirely true. But it was a good exit line, and I took advantage of it to leave the bar. ~ Charlaine Harris

All the pictures on the walls, they all white as lilies and smiling like alligators. ~ Charlaine Harris

Oh, God, puppy dog eyes. From a six-foot-five ancient Viking vampire. ~ Charlaine Harris

It was one of God's jokes that such a dumb mind had been put in such an eloquent body. ~ Charlaine Harris

She(Pam) said you had a habit of killing the bartenders of Fangtasia," Felicia said, her lovely doe eyes wide
with amazement. "She said I must come to beg your mercy. But you just seem like a human, to me. ~ Charlaine Harris

Some might think you suicidal."
"Well, 'some' can stick it up their ass. ~ Charlaine Harris

As far as I could tell, Claude's benefit to the world was strictly as a decoration.
-Sookie ~ Charlaine Harris

suck failure, fur face! ~ Charlaine Harris

You are speaking of my future lover. Be more respectful. ~ Charlaine Harris

Oh. No wonder I'd been sick. I hadn't eaten anything since then. I'm a girl who likes her meals, so it hadn't been a weight-loss tactic. I'd just been too busy bumping from crisis to crisis. Go on the Sookie Stackhouse Narrow Avoidance of Death Diet! Run for your life, and miss meals, too! Exercise plus starvation. ~ Charlaine Harris

Could I tell them I was sorry their loved one was dead, when he'd tried to kill me? There was no rule of etiquette for this; even my grandmother would have been stymied. ~ Charlaine Harris

I will never go anywhere with vampires again, I promised myself. I let the lure of the money and the excitement of the travel pull me in. But I won't do that again. As God is my witness . . . Then I had to laugh out loud. Scarlett O'Hara, I wasn't. "I'll never be hungry again, ~ Charlaine Harris

He pulled my coat off my shoulders, looked at it with distaste, hung it on the back of one of the chairs pushed in under the kitchen table. "You are beautiful". No one had ever looked me in the eyes and said that.
Eric to Sookie, Page 208. ~ Charlaine Harris

I was embarrased, horrified and absolutely ready to jump him! ~ Charlaine Harris

Because he sounded so lost-the Eric I knew had never been one to do anything other than assume others should serve him-I patted around under the covers for his hand. When I found it, I slid my own over it. His palm was turned up to meet my palm, and his fingers clasped mine. And though I would not have thought it possible to go to sleep holding hands with a vampire, that's exactly what I did. ~ Charlaine Harris

When you've been really beaten, you realize that you are just an envelope of skin, an easily penetrated envelope that holds together a lot of fluids and some rigid structures, which in their turn can simply be broken and invaded. ~ Charlaine Harris

You were so sweet when you didn't know who you were. ~ Charlaine Harris

When you're a professional you do your job no matter what gets in the way. You might take a sick day, you might take a personal day, but then you show back up or you won't get paid. Everyone develops his/her own strategy for dealing with days that are not productive. ~ Charlaine Harris

If I was so malicious or off-color or just plain wrongheaded that I had to constantly censor my conversation with a minister, then I needed the experience anyway. ~ Charlaine Harris

I did what I have been told to do by my queen. In so doing, I fell into a trap I couldn't escape. I still can't."
"The trap of LUUUUVVVV, I thought sarcastically. But he was too serious, too calm, to mock. ~ Charlaine Harris

It's probably a bad indicator of your lifestyle when you miss your ex-boyfriend because he's absolutely lethal. ~ Charlaine Harris

And that's your fantasy? That I come into your house naked and have sex with you?"
"After that, you tell me that you have sent Eric on his way, that you want to be mine forever, and that to share my life you will permit me to make you a vampire like me."
The silence now was thick, and the fun had drained out of the fantasy.
Then Bill added, "You know what I'd say when you told me this? I'd tell you I would never do such a thing. Because I love you. ~ Charlaine Harris

People stubbornly lived their lives as they wanted, without regard to me, to an amazing degree. ~ Charlaine Harris