Catchy Car Wash Quotes

Attractive things work better When you wash and wax a car, it drives better, doesn't it? Or at least feels like it does. ~ Donald A. Norman

That boy could throw a ball through a car wash and not get it wet. (on Warren Moon) ~ Bum Phillips

I like Yorkshire terriers. They're good to wash your car with. They fit right in the bucket. ~ Billiam Coronel

One thing I don't need
is any more apologies
i got sorry greetin me at my front door
you can keep yrs
i don't know what to do wit em
they don't open doors
or bring the sun back
they don't make me happy
or get a mornin paper
didn't nobody stop usin my tears to wash cars
cuz a sorry. ~ Ntozake Shange

Even a fool recognizes that there is great sadness in a bucket of tears. But only a wise man thinks to conserve water and use that bucket to wash his car. ~ Jarod Kintz

Isn't horrible weather great? It means I don't have to wash my car! ~ Donna Brazile

I took one look at him, my mouth started watering and my panties moistened with thick fluid as if he had touched my sensation and made me instantaneously combust. ~ Siva D.

I worked at car washes - two or three different car washes. I worked at McDonald's and Wendy's, I worked as a dishwasher and as a telemarketer in two or three different places. I sold windows door-to-door and never once sold a window. ~ Joseph Bruce

Making love to him was like going through a car wash, except you came out dirtier and more alive at the other end. ~ Charles Baxter

Oh. I get it." Abby laughed. "This is where you bid on someone to wash your car."

"Naked," Charli said.

"Or check the shower tiles."

"Also naked."

Abby laughed. "I'm guessing that as long as there's wet and naked, we're all good."

Fiona let out a long sigh.

"What was that?" Charli asked with a lift to her perfect brows. "Have you got a victim---I mean a participant in mind?"

Fiona glanced across the hall. "Have you seen Jackson's fireman buddy?"

"No." Charli looked across the room. "Should we?"

"Too late," Fiona said. "I've got first dibs."

At that moment, Abby noticed the Wilder boys walk across the front of the room near the stage. Individually, they were stunning. As a group, they looked as appetizing as a decadent box of chocolates. Abby couldn't tear her eyes away from Jackson. Put him in a fireman suit, a tux jacket and jeans, or a simple T-shirt and cargo shorts, and he took her breath away.

Truthfully, she liked him best in noting at all.

"Holy guacamole." Charli gestured to a tall, dark, and devastating man walking with the group. "Is that who you are talking about?"

Fiona nodded. "I want to lick him up one side and down the other like a cherry Popsicle."

"Honey, you bid as high as you can go," Charli said. "And if you run out of money, you just let me know. I'd be happy to chip in. ~ Candis Terry

On the pavement near my car are the smashed skeletons of two baby birds, their flattened beaks and wings making them look reptilian. They've been there for a year. I can't resist looking at them each time I get in my car. We need a good flood, wash them away. ~ Gillian Flynn

The Los Angeles River is small, but mean. People who don't know the truth of it make fun of our river; all they see is a tortured trickle that snakes along a concrete gutter like some junkie's vein. They don't know that we put the river in concrete to save ourselves; they don't know that the river is small because it's sleeping, and that every year and sometimes more it wakes. Before we put the river in that silly trough centered on a concrete plain at the bottom of those concrete walls, it flashed to life with the rain to wash away trees and houses and bridges, and cut its banks to breed new channels almost as if it was looking for people to kill. It found what it looked for too many times. Now, when it wakes, the river climbs those concrete walls so high that wet claws rake the freeways and bridges as it tries to pull down a passing car or someone caught out in the storm. Chain-link fences and barbed wire spine along the top of the walls to keep out people, but the walls keep in the river. The concrete is a prison. The prison works, most of the time. ~ Robert Crais

I'm a tough person. I wasn't afraid of other kids because I understood that someday they'd wash my car. ~ Johnny Weir

The engine of my car is so powerful I could wash dishes under the hood. But that'd be pretty absurd, since I keep the dishwasher in the trunk. ~ Jarod Kintz

Take any two-year-old through a car wash and their skulls are blown. FLAPS! FOAM! ROLLING THINGS! It's the closest they'll ever get to being inside a working spaceship. ~ Drew Magary

The car wash sign said, "Free Vacuums." So I told them I wanted a high-powered Dyson. I figured it'd be a good gift for my girl, so she could stop sweeping the living room carpet. ~ Jarod Kintz

After leaving school, I travelled around Europe for about six months. In Denmark, I thought that was my chance to get an amazing haircut, so I went to what I thought was a great hairdresser. It turned out to be the car wash of hairdressers, and I walked out sporting yet another pudding bowl, but this time with a stripe bleached down the centre. ~ Becki Newton

It was so embarrassing, everytime I see it, I blush. Imagine if you saw yourselves like that. It's one thing to get dressed up and do the movie star thing, but I mean, it's my job to be outside of that and it's not like I'm on the outside when they're all watching me. [About the famous car wash scene from One Night at McCool's] ~ Liv Tyler

You were a town with one pay phone and someone else was using it.
You were an ATM temporarily unable to dispense cash.
You were an outdated link and the server was down.
You were invisible to the naked eye.
You were the two insect parts per million allowed in peanut butter.
You were a car wash that me as dirty as when I pulled in.
You were twenty rotting bags of rice in the hold of a cargo plane sitting on the runway in a drought-riddled country.
You were one job opening for two hundred applicants and you paid minimum wage.
You were grateful for my submission but you just couldn't use it.
You weren't a Preferred Provider.
You weren't giving any refunds.
You weren't available for comment.
Your grave wasn't marked so I wandered the cementary for hours, part of the grass, part of the crumbling stones. ~ Kim Addonizio

It's like you are a car, a nice car that hadn't been washed for a year.
And then you got a wash and wax and all the trimmings.
You're sparkling, but you're still the same great car. ~ Lissa Price

Don Gullett's the only guy who can throw a baseball through a car wash and not get the ball wet. ~ Pete Rose

If misery were water, he thinks as he climbs into his car and turns the key, I could just drown or let it wash me away entirely. ~ Dennis Sharpe

He must have driven this way countless times, and yet he had no memory of the scenery. He must have been so caught up in the day's agenda, and arriving punctually at their destination, that the land beyond the car had been no more than a wash of one green, and a backdrop of one hill. Life was very different when you walked through it. ~ Rachel Joyce

You just take and take don´t you? Out there with your thumb in the air - not a care in the world, just grabbing whatever you can get. Yes, sir, you just take and take until you´re ready to burst. But what about giving? Did you ever think about that? Of course not - you´re too busy taking, Mr. Handout, Mr. Gimmee, Gimmee, Gimmee. Me, I´m what you call a ´taxpayer.´ Tax, it´s a... tariff that working people have to pay so that someone like yourself can enjoy a life of leisure. I give and give until I´ve got nothing left! Nothing! Then I turn around and give some more. I give and I give to all of Uncle Sam´s little takers, every last one of you, but what´s in it for me? I´ve been thinking that maybe it´s time I get a little something in retum. Yes, indeed, maybe it´s about time we try that shoe on the other foot for a change. You, my young friend, are going to wash my car inside and out. And you´re going to pay for it! ~ David Sedaris

I've come to believe that a good cry is like a car wash for the soul ~ Bill Hayes

My first job was working for my dad. He was a used-car dealer, and I used to wash the cars down, clean them out, and so on. I would do stuff for him pretty much every day. It was quite a good job, to be honest. ~ Tyson Fury

I'm a Cancer, you know," I tell her. "So it's hard for me to talk. And I have all these weird dreams, not the ones with the Sony Girls - ha-ha - but mostly where I mow the lawn. Sometimes I just wash the car, like Gupta! But there's this voice in my head, and Lt. Kim thinks that once we get it to go away, I'll stop worrying that the good things in life are destined to fail, like you and me. But I'm up in this satellite dish, and I'm thinking: what if this is the voice that still believes things can be okay, that believes in good and warns me from bad? It wants to protect me, just like the United Nations. ~ Adam Johnson

In fact, I didn't know how much Chris had done in Fallujah until he came home. We were at a car wash place one day when someone overheard his name called and went up to him.
"Are you Chris Kyle?" asked the man. His haircut and build made it clear he was military.
"Yes."
"I was in Fallujah," said the young man, who turned out to be a Marine. "You saved my life."
"Y'all saved my ass plenty of times, too," said Chris, referring to Marines.
Others came over, including the father of one of the Marines. He had tears in his eyes when he shook Chris's hand.
"Your husband saved my son's life," he said to me. "Thank you."
What an incredibly small world it is, I thought. For all of these people to have been together so far away, and now just meet by chance in the oddest place.
Or was it part of a cosmic plan? A way of showing Chris that he was appreciated?
I felt proud of him, but I also felt sadness--I imagined being the parent of one of these young men, worried about their welfare and yet unable to do anything to protect them. It was an impotence with few parallels.
Chris just took it all in stride, smiling and waving as he left to get the car. ~ Taya Kyle

I'm not asking you to come reverently or unquestioningly; I'm not asking you to be politically correct or cast aside your sense of humor (please God you have one). This isn't a popularity contest, it's not the moral Olympics, and it's not church. But it's Writing, damn it, not washing the car or putting on eyeliner. If you can take it seriously, we can do business. If you can't or won't, it's time for you to close the book and do something else. Wash the car, maybe. ~ Stephen King

When we used to go to the car-wash where people would wipe the windows, my dad would go out and help them and then tip them as well, so I learned my empathy from my dad, and my mum is very empathetic too, but in a very stern way; she will always check my ego. ~ Charlie Puth

My God," she says. "I feel like I've gone through a car wash."

I laugh, or force myself to, because it's not something I'd normally laugh at.

"What about you?" she says to Scottie. "How did you make out?"

"I'm a boy," Scottie says. "Look at me."

Sand has gotten into the bottom of her suit, creating a huge bulge. She scratches at the bulge. "I'm going to go to work now," she says. I think she's impersonating me and that Mrs. Speer is getting an unrealistic, humiliating glimpse.

"Scottie," I say. "Take that out."

"It must be fun to have girls," Mrs. Speer says.

She looks at the ocean, and I see that she's looking at Alex sunbathing on the floating raft. Sid leans over Alex and puts his mouth to hers. She raises a hand to his head, and for a moment I forget it's my daughter out there and think of how long it has been since I've been kissed or kissed like that.

"Or maybe you have your hands full," Mrs. Speer says.

"No, no," I say. "It's great," and it is, I suppose, though I feel like I've just acquired them and don't know yet. "They've been together for ages." I gesture to Alex and Sid. I don't understand if they're a couple or if this is how all kids in high school act these days.

Mrs. Speer looks at me curiously, as if she's about to say something, but she doesn't.

"And boys." I gesture to her little dorks. "They must keep you busy."

"They're a ha ~ Kaui Hart Hemmings

Hey, Pedro, could you get your shopping cart out of my faculty parking space? Yes, I know you live on the street. But you know how hard it is to find a parking spot on the Upper West Side. After all, you used to be one of my best students! So how's that Columbia degree working out for you? Not so good, huh? Sorry about that. Really! But you know, a college degree isn't like some cheap used car. There's no warantee. Right, there's no Lemon Law either. Buyer beware! Look, Pedro, I don't want to call security again. Yes, I know they're your cousins. What's that? You'll wash my car for a dollar? Well, I guess that's a good deal. Where's your sponge bucket? What's that? You've got a hose? What do you mean, it's tucked in your pants? Hey Pedro
no, no, no don't
aw, Pedro! ~ Eric Foner