Caroline Kepnes Quotes

Everyone wants everything right now but you are able to wait with Such small hands. ~ Caroline Kepnes

Night moves don't work in the morning. ~ Caroline Kepnes

It wasn't my fault that Candace followed me down to the water's edge and it wasn't my fault that I picked her up and held her down in the water and watched her pass on to the great beyond. She wanted to be there, or she wouldn't have gone down there with me. She knew she was killing me and she knew that I was not the type to go down without a fight. ~ Caroline Kepnes

Dope guac," says some asshole, and I pick up a Dorito and shove it into the guac. There is nothing remarkable about this guac, about any guac, and California needs to calm the fuck down. They're just avocados. Guac is guac and while sometimes it's slimy and disgusting, it's never delicious. ~ Caroline Kepnes

This is your success and this is the magic hour, the golden time before the time. Just be in it. You earned it. Don't spread it and don't pull on it and don't push it and don't share it and don't examine it. This is it. ~ Caroline Kepnes

This will sound crazy, but I'm saving it. For my nursing home list." "You mean bucket list." "Oh no, that's totally different. A nursing home list is a list of things you plan on reading and watching in a nursing home. A bucket list is more like . . . visit Nigeria, jump out of an airplane. A nursing home list is like, read The Western Coast and watch Pulp Fiction and listen to the latest Daft Punk album. ~ Caroline Kepnes

I don't feel sorry for myself, Beck. Lots of people have shitty parents and roaches in the cabinets and stale, raw Pop-Tarts for dinner and a TV that barely works and a dad who doesn't care when his son doesn't come home during a national disaster. The thing is, I'm lucky. I had the bookstore. ~ Caroline Kepnes

You are not easily rescued ~ Caroline Kepnes

Memories are all the same at their core; it's just us trying to keep each other alive, the best parts anyway. ~ Caroline Kepnes

And I will never again underestimate the power of anticipation. There is no better boost in the present than an invitation into the future. ~ Caroline Kepnes

There is no better boost in the present than an invitation to the future. ~ Caroline Kepnes

It would be nice to have something alive to hold on to right now, something to love me, something with a beating heart that I can feel, something to be with me as I sit here, in hell, trying to figure it out. ~ Caroline Kepnes

And when a girl likes talking about you more than talking to you, well, in my experience, that's the end. ~ Caroline Kepnes

I'll fucking kill Hugh Grant. ~ Caroline Kepnes

In terms of sheer annoyance, nobody I have ever known has compared to Sare Worthington, saver of the environment, native of Portland, Maine, forever wishing that she were from Portland, Oregon. Bitch should have just moved there. ~ Caroline Kepnes

What makes us become us? What fucks us up and why? ~ Caroline Kepnes

People are so lonely, they spend their birthdays on the Internet, thanking people for wishing them a happy birthday, people who only know it's their birthday because Facebook told them. ~ Caroline Kepnes

They're in their own world, where good things happen, a quarter mile and a million light years away. ~ Caroline Kepnes

You did all those awful things, but you also fell in love with a person who can forgive you. ~ Caroline Kepnes

I scroll through my own stories in my phone, the ones I write when I can't sleep, when I think about her, about what the fuck happened, when I make like Alvy Singer and try to correct it all with my imagination. ~ Caroline Kepnes

I imagine pushing you into the red abyss and jumping in after you, with you, so we can burn together, forever, a tree of life, light, sex. ~ Caroline Kepnes

I grew up with no religion and she had all religion. She celebrates everything and I celebrate nothing. ~ Caroline Kepnes

You gotta ignore people until they get in line, especially spoiled rich kids. ~ Caroline Kepnes

You never sounded farther away from me and I will take that balloon and stab the fuck out of and at the same time I will take that balloon and tie it around Peach's neck because WHO THE FUCK CAN CUNT OUT OVER A BALLOON? ~ Caroline Kepnes

Most people die old, full of pain and regret. Or young and full of drugs and self-indulgence - or sheer bad luck. ~ Caroline Kepnes

It is my destiny to know people who abuse punctuation. ~ Caroline Kepnes

And when she cums she screams and she throws a pillow across the room, it goes out the window, over the balcony. ~ Caroline Kepnes

You smile, embarrassed to be a nice girl, and your nails are bare and your V-neck sweater is beige and it's impossible to know if you're wearing a bra but I don't think that you are. ~ Caroline Kepnes

Los Angeles is full of places to hide a body, but when the person inside the body doesn't love you, it's not an easy thing, turning that breathing person into a dead one. ~ Caroline Kepnes

Eye contact is what keeps us civilized. ~ Caroline Kepnes

Making It in Hollywood is the most disgusting phrase in the English language. It's more disturbing than prolific serial killer and rare terminal illness. ~ Caroline Kepnes

And part of the problem is that phone. You have that function on that fucking phone that enables you to know when your texts are opened and ignored. ~ Caroline Kepnes

Just eat it and shit it and be done with it and don't feel special cuz you eat that shit with someone because in the end we all shit alone! ~ Caroline Kepnes

Work in a bookstore and learn that most people in this world feel guilty about being who they are. ~ Caroline Kepnes

The assholes are always puzzled when the order of the universe is restored, when they are held accountable for their cowardly, pretentious, loveless ways. ~ Caroline Kepnes

A poet is different. A poet transforms the world with Such small hands. ~ Caroline Kepnes

You grow through love. You don't postpone love until you stop growing. ~ Caroline Kepnes

We all get our hearts broken. We get fucked up and throw up and we cry and listen to sad songs and say we're never doing that again. But to be alive is to do it again. To love is to risk everything ~ Caroline Kepnes

There comes a point when the universe needs to get on your side or go fuck itself and the universe gets in line. ~ Caroline Kepnes

I don't say anything. I know the power of silence. I remember my dad saying nothing and I remember his silences more vividly than I remember the things he said. ~ Caroline Kepnes

Love is kind, love is patient but also, mainly, above all - yes - Love is perverted. ~ Caroline Kepnes

This is why America loves Stephen King so much; he keeps us on the edge of our seats until it hurts. ~ Caroline Kepnes

Talking to you is like traveling through time. ~ Caroline Kepnes

only takes one weirdo to spot you inside and decide to go and get you. ~ Caroline Kepnes

Hollywood, where the rich don't have to pay for anything. ~ Caroline Kepnes

A photo essay (otherwise known as a fucking slide show)... ~ Caroline Kepnes

I hate it here... ...Everyday is actually three days, a freezing morning, a blistering day, and a cool night. You need a lot of clothes. And every day is the same day, which is why it's important to hang a calendar. I see why people move here and wake up one day scratching their heads, wondering when they turned forty or what year it is. ~ Caroline Kepnes

He laughs and hugs me and says that I shouldn't believe anyone who tells me it's gonna get better. "Ride the wave," he says. "Don't wait for it. Don't fear it. Just ride it. ~ Caroline Kepnes

I own every book Stephen King has ever written."
"That's great. That's something to be proud of."
But did you read them, fuckface? ~ Caroline Kepnes

She doesn't look back as we round the corner and her new jeans are so tight, I hope she gets a yeast infection. ~ Caroline Kepnes

I bet he got picked on but what they don't tell you about bullying is that sometimes, the kid deserves it. ~ Caroline Kepnes

She thinks she's so smart but if you erase an hour, it doesn't mean shit, not unless you erase the weeks leading up to that hour. ~ Caroline Kepnes

She looks out the window at Reno, which looks like Vegas and yet also looks nothing like Vegas. It's lesser, smaller, worse. ~ Caroline Kepnes

I hope that most people at this point in time realize that Prince is one of the great poets of our time. I didn't say songwriter - I said poet. Prince is the closest thing we have to e. e. cummings and people are so stupid because they don't come in here and buy books of Prince poems. It ~ Caroline Kepnes

There is nothing remarkable about this 'guac', about any 'guac', and California needs to calm the fuck down. ~ Caroline Kepnes

If you don't start with crazy, crazy love, the kind of love that Van Morrison sings about, then you don't have a shot to go the distance. Love's a marathon, Danny, not a sprint. ~ Caroline Kepnes

Kate Hudson's entire career exists because people who fall in love sometimes tell lies about where they work. ~ Caroline Kepnes

I don't like this culture of reading a book and spitting out an immediate reaction. ~ Caroline Kepnes

You're so clean that you're dirty. ~ Caroline Kepnes

Now there are elements of our dynamic coming slowly into view, like a photograph in a darkroom. ~ Caroline Kepnes

It's not the past if it's not finished. ~ Caroline Kepnes

It's like they can smell the public school on me. ~ Caroline Kepnes

And what did you say?" "I said I think that all children do better with happy parents than married parents. ~ Caroline Kepnes

Some guys are assholes and you have to accept that. ~ Caroline Kepnes

[ In a relationship] someone's gotta be the iceberg and someone's gotta be the sun. ~ Caroline Kepnes

We are both on a journey and we are both in love and that's all anyone can hope for in life. ~ Caroline Kepnes

Most kids are assholes, just like most adults. ~ Caroline Kepnes

And then it happens, the most dreaded response in the world, more terse than any word, more withholding than a "no," and strictly verboten for someone as in love with language and me as you claim to be.

You: "K ~ Caroline Kepnes

The Internet is a beautiful thing and you sent a tweet an hour after we met that day: I smell cheeseburgers. #CornerBistroIsMakingMeFat

And let me tell you, for a moment there, I was concerned. Maybe I wasn't special. You didn't even mention me, our conversation. Also: I talk to strangers is a line in your Twitter bio. I talk to strangers. What the fuck is that, Beck? Children are not supposed to talk to strangers but you are an adult. Or is our conversation nothing to you? Am I just another stranger? Is your Twitter bio your subtle way of announcing that you're an attention whore who has no standards and will give audience to any poor schmuck who says hello? Was I nothing to you? You don't even mention the guy in the bookstore? Fuck, I thought, maybe I was wrong. Maybe we had nothing. But then I started to explore you and you don't write about what really matters. You wouldn't share me with your followers. Your online life is a variety show, so if anything, the fact that you didn't put me in your stand-up act means that you covet me. Maybe even more than I realize... ~ Caroline Kepnes

...you can love some all you want, but you can't go into their past and become a part of their formative years. ~ Caroline Kepnes

I'm like an asshole in a sitcom who learns the same fucking lesson every week and this is my life. ~ Caroline Kepnes

My middle school health teacher told us that you can hold eye contact for ten seconds before scaring or seducing someone. ~ Caroline Kepnes

I'm the same way about the bookshop. You know, I walk around and I feel the whole world is in there, the most important stories of all time. ~ Caroline Kepnes

She wasted my heart, my time. ~ Caroline Kepnes

I take my time walking up the stairs and onto the street. I want life to move slowly because I want to anticipate you with all my heart, greet you with all my heart, fuck you with all my heart and miss you with all my heart. I have to laugh because I sound like a greeting card but I deserve this, you, joy. ~ Caroline Kepnes

This is why people like writing. You visit old friends without having to go on Facebook and see what they're up to and deal with what idiots called FOMO. You make them into what you want them to be, the people they could be if only they were braver, smarter. ~ Caroline Kepnes

You can tell when something is right because most things are just plain wrong. ~ Caroline Kepnes

Who can sleep with you in the world? ~ Caroline Kepnes

You blush. You are Charlotte's Web and I could love you. ~ Caroline Kepnes

I wish it were socially acceptable to brandish a knife. ~ Caroline Kepnes

If Van Gogh were walking around, everyone would run away because he had no ear, but if he was holding his paintings they would be nice to him. She's holding her paintings and she's good at it. ~ Caroline Kepnes

There's emptiness in him that can never be filled, emptiness that dresses up well at prep school, where a lack of willpower is called creativity. ~ Caroline Kepnes

And [Benji] cheats on you, Beck. A lot. Compulsively. He is in intense pursuit of a performance artist who fucks with his head the way he fucks with yours. ~ Caroline Kepnes

You ooze joy and she is an open wound, shrill and wan, unfucked and unloved. ~ Caroline Kepnes

But I can't stand the way you make me feel so good, like, better than I ever felt, and then you tear it all away, like deep down, you don't want me to be happy. ~ Caroline Kepnes

you're a writer when we (I) know what you truly are: a performer, an exhibitionist. ~ Caroline Kepnes

We're like, do whatever. Chill out. Be gay. Be straight. I mean, what is the big deal? We're all gonna die anyway, you know? Who wants to spend their precious life hating? ~ Caroline Kepnes

And you're not the standard insecure nymph hunting for Faulkner you'll never finish, never start; Faulkner that will harden and calcify, if books could calcify, on your nightstand; Faulkner meant only to convince one-night stands that you mean it when you swear you never do this kind of thing. ~ Caroline Kepnes

She says you can't pretend you have nothing when you have so much. ~ Caroline Kepnes

...that guy came here to confess."
"Are you a priest?"
"No, I am a church! ~ Caroline Kepnes

Nature is an inherently forward beast; footsteps disappear, past hurts fade. ~ Caroline Kepnes

your friends "liked" your status in a way that leaves no doubt that you were the one dumped. ~ Caroline Kepnes

Curtis will be here in ten minutes because he's supposed to get here at six and he's never been on time because he's part of Generation Benji, all busy with his fake life in his fucking gadgets, tinderokcupidinstagramtwitterfacebookvinebullshitnarcissism incorporatedonlinepetitionsfantasyfuckingfootball. ~ Caroline Kepnes

In the cage, you feel loved, not trapped. Just like me. ~ Caroline Kepnes

If we were teenagers, I could kiss you. But I'm on a platform behind a counter wearing a name tag and we're too old to be young. ~ Caroline Kepnes

6:08 and the next dude in line is buying the new King and The Shining just to be bold - he calls The Shining a prequel and I want to cut his face ~ Caroline Kepnes

Life isn't always ideal, not for most people. ~ Caroline Kepnes

And really, when you grow up, and get over yourself, when you fuck narcissism and leave the hashtags at the door, you see what really matters in life. ~ Caroline Kepnes

That's why you leave the windows open. You don't know how to be alone with yourself. And if you block out the world, there you'd be. ~ Caroline Kepnes

What a shame to be so angered by what you don't have that you treat what you do have like it's nothing. ~ Caroline Kepnes