Boondocks Riley Funny Quotes

What do you think, Galen?" Lady Fern asked in a sugary voice.
Galen chewed slowly and painfully, swallowing tentatively.
It's very unique," he said, trying to look intrigued instead of disgusted. "It's excellent."
Lady Fern looked satisfied and turned to say something to her husband, while Galen added quietly under his breath, " ... not."
The Fire Stone ~ Riley Carney

Somebody's sent a funny little valentine to me. It's a bunch of baby-roses in a vase of filigree, And hovering above them ... is a fairy cupid tangled in a scarf of poetry. ~ James Whitcomb Riley

It's funny because I've never really been into that before. Eyeliner looks good on you though. Not as though that matters." He shrugged, but it mattered to Rod. He was so incredibly fucked. ~ Riley Hart

Reality is funny, Your's will always be different than mine. This turns the truth into an illusion. They say everyone lies so what do we do? We believe in ourselves! You are the only real.... ~ J.S. Riley

Funny how she's the one tied to the bed, but I'm the one feeling bound. ~ Alexa Riley

Maggie wasn't without her concerns, though. "What if he's crazy?"
"Yeah, that's a definite possibility," he agreed.
"What if he's not your type?"
"Then we'll only hook up in dark places. ~ Con Riley

Then he smiled. It was the first time I'd seen him smile, and it threw me. It was kind of…awesome.
He spoke: "I can see through your dress."
"What?" I said automatically.
"The light coming from behind you like that. Can see right through it." The smile widened.
"I…"
"Look, I'm not complaining. And since you haven't moved, I'm guessing you don't mind me looking."
I had no idea what to do, so I stumbled further into the shed and walked to the side into the dark so I wasn't being backlit anymore.
"And you've come inside, so you want to be closer to me."
"No!" This I shouted a little too loudly. And to prove how "no" I was, I pointed the shears at him.
"You gonna cut it off?" He raised an eyebrow.
"Cut what off?" Damn it. I had to stop answering him automatically like that. Think before you speak, Riley. Think!The young man glanced down at himself, and I almost followed his look until I remembered that he was totally naked, and then I understood what he meant.God, no, I hadn't even thought of that! Who did he think I was?Maybe the girl who shot him in the face maybe? ~ Adrienne Kress

We're good to move."
"Cool." Kolya's smile was every bit as tight-lipped as Riley's, but it was real. "Tell us when you need help."
"And tell us before your chest explodes," Andrej muttered, "so we can shoot the alien babies when they pop out."
Riley made a rude gesture. "McClane says, go fuck yourself."
Kolya chuckled. "Let's keep him. ~ J. Fally

Funny how lyrics to a song that held memories for you never went away. ~ Riley Hart

Would you like to hold my sword?" He asked the question with a gleam in his eyes.
Lucy burst out laughing. At least she didn't giggle again. "You did not just say that. But, um, yeah, I'd like to hold your sword, Agent Riley."
Hunter grinned and unzipped his backpack, pulling out something surprisingly small. He held it out to her, and noticed the disappointed look on her face. "Expecting something bigger?"
She smirked at his continued play on words. She had a lifetime of training in verbal and physical sparring; he was no match for her. "They say size doesn't matter, but I disagree."
Hunter, who apparently hadn't expected her response, choked on his own comeback and unsheathed the sword, then placed it in her hand. "You have to stroke it a certain way to make it bigger. ~ Kimberly Kinrade

It's funny how life works sometimes, isn't it? ~ Riley Hart

Char is beautiful, smart, funny, and I love the way our bodies communicate with one another. It's as if she was made for me." ~ Riley ~ T.H. Snyder

We made love like two people trying to make love like three people in the trunk of a car. ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo

We all have to die some day, if we live long enough. ~ David J. Farber

What's up, sulky bear?"

"I was appreciating the beauty of nature," Jared said. "In a sulky way."

"You might have noticed me giving you odd looks occasionally in the past."

"I assumed you were thinking, 'Three fairies clearly attended that guy's christening, and all three gave him the gift of chiseled,' " said Jared. "Why, were you thinking something else?"

"When I first met you, I thought you were a creep with serious behavioral and emotional issues."

"But once you really got to know me," Jared suggested, "you realized I was a creep with behavioral and emotional issues that were quite funny? ~ Sarah Rees Brennan

Leader, bandits at 2 o'clock! Roger; it's only 1:30 now-what'll I do 'til then? ~ Bill Watterson

I've got to get on myself to be sharp, funny and loose. ~ David Spade

It's funny how love can fit inside a brown cardboard box. With relationships, people often think that things pile up. But when it ends, they're surprised how few these things turn out to be. Or at least, how few things they are willing to let go of. ~ Juan Miguel Sevilla

Funny stories on set - there are thousands of them, but they are only funny to the people who were on the movies. You start to have inside jokes and gallows humor. You have all kinds of things you laugh at, but as soon as you tell somebody, the joke falls flat because they don't know the context of it. ~ Bruce Campbell

This is you. She pointed at the stick figure with enormous red curly marks and blue eyes.
Did my hair really look like that? I ran a hand over my head, feeling a bit like Little Orphan Annie. ~ Jennifer L. Armentrout

Say, 'Thank you, Phin.' "
"Oh, please."
"Say, Thank youvery much, Phin. "
"I don't think so."
"Say, 'You are a great lover, Phin.' "
"I'm out of here. ~ Jennifer Crusie

What is it?" There is almost nothing I could refuse him at this

very moment. Sex on the picnic bench? Check. Strip off and do the

Macarena on the grass? Check. Crawl under the table and do naughty

things? Not much experience in that department, but…check. Ride off

into the sunset? Double check. ~ Sarah Castille

needed someone intelligent, motivated, funny, caring, strong, tolerant - because let's face it, I was no picnic. Someone ~ Genna Rulon

Paperwork wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for all the paper. And the work. ~ Darynda Jones

Are you trying to be subtle? Because I know you're talking about the honeybunnyless prom tragedy that is my life. ~ John Green

Brooke stared in surprise. "You brought me lunch?"
"I was in the neighborhood."
She checked out the label on the bag. "DMK is twenty minutes from here."
"I was in that neighborhood, and now I'm here," he said in exasperation. "Seriously, woman, you are impossible to feed." He strode over and set the bag on her desk. "One cheeseburger with spicy chipotle ketchup and a side of sweet potato fries - chosen specifically for a certain spicy and sweet girl I know - and a green dill pickle for your eyes. So there." He crossed his arms over his chest.
Brooke studied him. "You seem very ornery right now."
"As a matter of fact, I am."
"Why?"
"I don't know," he huffed. "Just ... eat your Brooke Burger. Stop asking so many questions. Sometimes a guy just wants to buy a girl lunch. Any objections to that? Good. Enjoy your Sunday, Ms. Parker."
He strode out of her office, gone as quickly as he'd appeared.
Brooke stared at the doorway and blinked. ~ Julie James

I circle around them, my sword pointed in their direction. "Hermes Trismegistus. Ostanes the Persian. Olympiodorous of Thebes---"
I stop, feeling like an idiot. These necromancers and the ridiculous names they give themselves. They're always trying to outdo one another.
"You five," I said instead. "By the authority of King Malcolm of Anglia, I am commanded to arrest you for the crime of witchcraft. ~ Virginia Boecker

I'll drop you back to test driver so fast it will make your bra snap. ~ Doug Solter

That old funny-shaped bit of wood is still staring me in the face every day saying 'come on, you haven't started yet!' It's infinite. ~ Jeff Beck

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. ~ Steven Wright

But the love of adventure was in father's blood. ~ Buffalo Bill

Creation at this time, peopled as it was by primal deities whose whole energy and purpose seems to have been directed towards reproduction, was endowed with an astonishing fertility. The soil was blessed with such a fecund richness that one could almost believe that if you planted a pencil it would burst into flower. ~ Stephen Fry

He texts back: I love you.
I'm starting to text back, I love you, too, when my phone rings. It's Peter's house number, and I answer it eagerly.
"I love you, too," I say.
There is surprised silence on the other end, then a little laugh to cover it up. "Hi, Lara Jean. This is Peter's mom. ~ Jenny Han

Jen felt a hand rest at the nape of her neck as a voice spoke softly next to her ear, "If you need a lap to sit on, ţinere de meu inimă (holder of my heart), mine will be the only available to you." She watched as Decebel sat in the chair next to her and felt her stomach drop as he winked at her. ~ Quinn Loftis

I once told him that the best way to break up a fight is to step between the two people and start singing ancient folk songs. But I'd never heard of anyone actually doing such a thing. ~ David Levithan

Facebook's new relationship status option: "No longer able to interact with actual people" ~ Andy Borowitz

I like to smoke a pipe, because it's the punch line indicator. Whenever I take a hit of the pipe, you should be laughing. ~ Mitch Hedberg

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths. ~ Kristen Schaal

Not everything is funny or will make you laugh...but what a worthy goal to have. ~ Bobby Darnell