Blay Quotes

When they got to thew bottom of the stairwell, they stopped dead. Blay's father was facing off with a lesser, a Civil War sword in one hand, a dagger in the other.
Behind his Joe Friday glasses, his eyes were lit like torches, and they flicked over for a split second. "Stay out of this. This one's mine."
The shit was done faster than you can say, Ninja Dad.
Blay's father went Ginsu on the slayer, carving the thing up like a turkey, then stabbing it back to the Omega. ~ J.R. Ward

With the supplies gathered, he went over to the stainless-steel sink and pressed the foot pedal to get the water running. While he washed his hands, he said quietly, "If I could, I would."
"Excuse me?"
Qhuinn pumped some suds into his palms and scrubbed all the way up his forearms. Which was overkill, but if Blay wanted him superclean, then that was what he was going to be. "If I could love a guy like that, it would be you. ~ J.R. Ward

Saxton shifted exhausted eyes over. "Must we do this?"
"What happened
"
"I think you and he need to talk. And once you do, I won't have to worry about being jumped like a felon again."
Blay frowned. "He and I have nothing to say to each other
"
"with all due respect, the ligature marks on my neck would suggest otherwise. ~ J.R. Ward

Because I was, and I remain, utterly and completely and totally ... in love with you. ~ J.R. Ward

I want to be with you, too," he said.
"I'll come to your room after dawn."
Qhuinn didn't want to ask. Had to. "What about Saxton?"
"He's gone on vacation."
Reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally. "For how long?"
"Just a couple of days." Too bad. Any chance of an extension ... for like a year or two? Maybe forever?
"Okay, it's a - " Qhuinn stopped himself before he finished that with date.
There was no sense kidding himself. Saxton was away. Blay wanted to get laid. And Qhuinn was more than willing to supply the male with what he wanted. ~ J.R. Ward

The Old Language really was beautiful, Blay thought. Staring at the symbols, for one brief, ridiculous moment he imagined his own name across Qhuinn's shoulders, carved into that smooth skin in the manner of the mating ritual.
Never going to happen. They were destined to be best friends ... which, compared to strangers, was something huge. Compared to lovers? It was the cold side of a locked door. ~ J.R. Ward

You're a freak. But I really can't accept these-'
Were you raised in a barn? Don't be ruuuuuude, my boy. They're a gift.'
Blay shook his head. 'Take them, John. You're just going to lose this argument, and it will save us from the theatrics.'
Theatrics?' Qhuinn leaped up and assumed a Roman oratory pose. 'Whither thou knowest thy ass from thy elbow, young scribe?'
Blay blushed. 'Come on-'
Qhuinn threw himself at Blay, grasping onto the guy's shoulders and hanging his full weight off him. 'Hold me. Your insult has left me breathless. I'm agasp.'
Blay grunted and scrambled to keep Qhuinn up off the floor. 'That's agape.'
Agasp sounds better.'
Blay was trying not to smile, trying not to be delighted, but his eyes were sparkling like sapphires and his cheeks were getting red. With a silent laugh, John sat on one of the locker room benches, shook out his pair of white socks, and pulled them on under his new old jeans. 'You sure, Qhuinn? 'Cause I have a feeling they're going to fit and you might change your mind.
Qhuinn abruptly lifted himself off Blay and straightened his clothes with a sharp tug. 'And now you offend my honor.' Facing off at John, he flipped into a fencing stance.
Touché.'
Blay laughed. 'That's en garde, you damn fool.'
Qhuinn shot a look over his shoulder. 'ça va, Brutus?'
Et tu?'
That would be tutu, I believe, and you can keep the cross-dressing to yourself, ya perv.'
Qhuinn flashed a b ~ J.R. Ward

Qhuinn stopped breathing, focusing everything he had on the male who had been his best friend and his never-been lover ... and the ever-after that was never going to happen.
Even after all the things that had gone on between them, and all the fuckups on his end, which were legendary, Blay still had his back.
"I love you," Qhuinn blurted into the silence. ~ J.R. Ward

Abruptly, Blay's blue stare found his.
And what Qhuinn saw in it caused him to falter: Love shone out of that face, unadulterated love untempered by the shyness that was very much part of his reserve.
Blay didn't look away.
And for the first time ... neither did Qhuinn.
He didn't know whether the emotion was for his cousin - it probably was-but he'd take it: He stared right back at Blaylock and let everything he had in his heart show in his face.
He just let that shit fly.
Because there was a lesson in this Fade ceremony tonight: You could lose the ones you loved in the blink of an eye-and he was willing to bet when it happened, you weren't thinking about all the reasons that could have kept you apart.
You thought of all the reasons that kept you together. ~ J.R. Ward

Shit. With Qhuinn looking at him like that, he couldn't remember his own name. Blaysox? Blacklock? Blabberfox? Who the fuck knew ... ~ J.R. Ward

Blay didn't shake the hand that was offered. He reached over, took a hold of the fighter's face, and drew Qhuinn in for a kiss. It was supposed to be only a split-seconder - like their lips were the ones doing the handshake thing. When he went to pull back, though, Qhuinn captured him, and held him in place. Their mouths met again ... and again ... and once more, their heads tilting to the sides, the contact lingering. "You're welcome," Blay said roughly. Then he smiled a little. "Can't say it was all a pleasure, though. ~ J.R. Ward

I've said I was sorry," Qhuinn intoned. "But I don't think I've ever said thank you. So, yeah ... thank you. ~ J.R. Ward

Qhuinn would reach out and touch the bandage ... and then he would let his fingers wander off the gauze and the surgical tape onto the warm, smooth skin of Blay's stomach. Blay would be shocked, but in this fantasy, he wouldn't push the hand away. ... He would take it lower, down past the injury, down onto his hips and his
Fuck! ~ J.R. Ward

Just once" Blay said softly. "Do it just once. So I'll know what it's like. ~ J.R. Ward

Blay:

Better than the full bifta. Especially because Qhuinn was beautiful to watch when he had sex. Just….beautitful.
Back when Blay had tried to do the hetero thing, the two had tag-teamed a number of human females – not that he could have recalled any of the women's faces, bodies, or names. It had always been about Qhuinn for him. Always. ~ J.R. Ward

The male who'd just arrived laughed as he embraced Qhuinn. You have such a way with words, cousin. I would say ... trucker meets sailor crossed with a twelve-year-old. ~ J.R. Ward

I'm proud of you, and I love you, Blay said yet again, that old, familiar voice cutting through all of those years of rejection and judgement, giving him not just a rope of acceptance to hang onto, but a flesh-and-blood hand to lead him out of the darkness of his past ... And into a future that didn't require lies or excises, because of what he was, and what they were, was both extraordinary
and nothing out of the ordinary. Love, after all, was universal. ~ J.R. Ward

I don't need any explanation about what you do with your life. You and I ... we grew up together,and that's it. Yeah, we shared a lot of stuff back then, and we were there for each other when it mattered.
But neither one of us can fit into the clothes we used to wear , and this relationship between us is just the same.
It doesn't fit in our lives any longer.
We don't ... fit anymore. And listen., I didn't mean to get pissy in the truck, but I think you need to be clear on this.
You and I? We have a past. That's it.
That's ... all we'll ever have (Blay to Qhuinn) ... ~ J.R. Ward

Motherf**ker. Bastard ass motherf**ker. C**ks**king rat-bitch bastard motherf**ker!" – Blay ~ J.R. Ward

Let me kiss you." Qhuinn groaned as he leaned in. "I know I don't deserve it, but please ... it's what you can do for me. Let me feel you ... "
Qhuinn's mouth brushed his own. Came back for more. Lingered.
"I'll beg for it." More with the caress of those devastating lips. "If that's what it takes. I don't give a fuck, I'll beg ... ~ J.R. Ward

Ah, hell.
His peripheral vision was working far too well tonight.
His slut of a cousin, his cocksucking, suit-wearing, Montblanc-up-the-ass cousin Saxton the Magnificent, was standing next to the queen, looking like a combination of Cary Grant and some model in a goddamn cologne ad.
Not that Qhuinn was bitter.
Because the guy was sharing Blay's bed.
Nah.
Nope. Not at all.
The Cocksucker-
With a wince, he thought maybe he should switch that insult to something a little farther away from what the two of them ...
God, he couldn't even go there. Not if he wanted to breathe. ~ J.R. Ward

His slut of a cousin, his cocksucking, suit-wearing, Montblanc-up-theass cousin Saxton the Magnificent, was standing next to the queen, looking like a combination of Cary Grant and some model in a goddamn cologne ad.
Not that Qhuinn was bitter.
Because the guy was sharing Blay's bed.
Nah.
Nope. Not at all. ~ J.R. Ward

How ironic. Now that he wasn't with Blay, he was being faithful to the fucker. ~ J.R. Ward

Blay went back to the door. "I love you with everything I've got, and when you and Layla had those kids? You gave me a complete family. And I want my family back, the whole thing - and that includes Layla." "Blay, please - " "That's my condition. And I'm going to make it stick. See you out in the field." - ~ J.R. Ward

I think you and he need to talk. And once you do, I won't have to worry about being jumped like a felon again."
Blay frowned. "He and I have nothing to say to each other - "
"With all due respect, the ligature marks around my neck would suggest otherwise. ~ J.R. Ward

Say the word. Say the word and I won't go.
Say the word, Qhuinn. Do it and I'll spend the night with you.
Better yet, why don't you just kiss me- ~ J.R. Ward

Saxton was indeed clear on things: Blay was still in love with Qhuinn - and probably always would be.
"Why?" he said to his lover.
"Because I want you for however long I have you. ~ J.R. Ward

I have loved you for years. I have been in love with you for years and years and years ... throughout school and training ... before transitions and afterward ... when you approached me and yes, even now that you're with Saxton and you hate me. And that ... shit ... in my fucking head locked me down, locked everything down ... and it cost me you. ~ J.R. Ward

Blay found himself envying the couple a little. Not about the familial estrangement, for sure. But God ... to be able to be seen with your mate in public, show your love for them, have your relationship respected by everyone else? Heterosexual couples took that for granted because they never knew anything different. Their unions were sanctioned by the glymera, even if the pairs were not in love, or were cheating on each other or were otherwise a fraud.
Two males?
Hah. ~ J.R. Ward

With a quick jerk, Qhuinn wrapped his arms around the single most important person in his life. It was not Layla, although he felt a pang at that denial. It was not John, or his king. It wasn't the brothers. This male was the reason for everything. ~ J.R. Ward

God ... this was who he loved, he thought. And always would. It was the thrust of that stubborn jaw, and the dark, slashing eyebrows, and those piercings up his ear and in his full lower lip. It was that thick, glossy black hair and the golden skin and that heavily muscled body. It was the way he laughed and the fact that he never, ever cried. It was the scars on his inside no one knew about and the conviction that he would always be the first to run into a burning building or a bloody fight or a car wreck. It was all the things Qhuinn had been and was ever going to be. ~ J.R. Ward

You know, Qhuinn's an interesting character." Saxton reached out with an elegant hand and picked up his port. "He's one of my favorite cousins, actually. His nonconformity is admirable and he's survived things that would crush a lesser male. Don't know that being in love with him would be easy, however."
Blay didn't go near that one. "So do you come here often?"
Saxton laughed, his pale eyes glinting, "Not for discussion, huh. ~ J.R. Ward

Blay's head whipped around to his mate. "Really? You asked my dad?" Qhuinn nodded, then started to smile like a mother fucker. "It's my one and only shot. So I wanted to follow protocol. ~ J.R. Ward

How many of them were there?' Her voice wasn't joking around. Eighteen. Hundred.' Four,' Blaylock interjected. 'An honor guard of four.' What did they work you over with? Those bruises on your thighs are severe?' Crowbars. Big, massive-' Blay cut in. 'Clubs. Had to be those ceremonial black clubs. ~ J.R. Ward

Especially as Blay's face came to mind. So beautiful. So very, very beautiful. It seemed silly and emasculating to call the guy that, but he was. Those damn lips were the problem ... nice and cushioned on the bottom. Or maybe the eyes? So fucking blue.
He'd kissed that mouth and loved it. Seen those eyes go wild.
He could have had Blay first - and only. But instead? His cousin ...
"Oh, God ... " he groaned. ~ J.R. Ward

The thread of will-they-or-won't-they was the real driver of every word and glance and shift of body.
So ... this was a date, Blay thought. A subtextual negotiation slipcovered in talk of books read and music enjoyed. ~ J.R. Ward

And God help them both, if it hadn't been for Saxton, Qhuinn would have dropped the l-word right then and there, even though the timing was stupid. ~ J.R. Ward

Call me," she whispered to him with a confidence that would fade as the days passed.
Qhuinn smiled a little. "Take care."
At the sound of the two words, Blay relaxed, his big shoulders easing up. In Qhuinn-landia, "Take care" was synonymous with "I'm never going to see, call or fuck you again. ~ J.R. Ward

Scrambling through the drifts, Blay rushed over and landed on his knees. Qhuinn was sprawled on the ground, his long, heavy legs stretched out, his upper body in John's lap.
The male just stared at him with those mismatched eyes, unmoving, unspeaking.
"Is he paralyzed?" Blay demanded, looking over at John.
"Not that I'm aware of," Qhuinn replied dryly.
I think he's got a concussion, John signed.
"I do not - "
He went flying off the hood of his car and hit this tree
"I mostly missed the tree - "
And I've had to hold him down ever since.
"Which is pissing me off - ~ J.R. Ward

Quinn: "Shiiiiiiit. I nearly killed him."
Blay: "Well, arguably you were being gallant."

referring to strangling Saxton for "cheating" on Blay.

Black Dagger Brotherhood #11 Lover at Last ~ J.R. Ward

Still, good boys liked to make their moms happy, and Blay had always been a good boy. His ~ J.R. Ward

You are perfect the way you are." Blay's voice was strong. "There is nothing wrong with who and what you have always been. I'm proud of you. And I love you. Now ... and always."
Qhuinn's vision got wavy. Hard-core.
"I'm proud of you. And I love you," Blay repeated. "Always. Forget about your old family ... you have me now. I am your family. ~ J.R. Ward

As always, Blay was the anchor who kept him from being swept away. ~ J.R. Ward

Do you want to hold her?" Qhuinn asked.
Xcor recoiled as if someone had inquired whether he'd like a hot poker in his hands. Then he recovered, shaking his head as he made a manly show of scrubbing his tears away like they were permanent marker on his cheeks. "I don't think I'm quite ready for that. She looks…so delicate."
"She's strong, though. She's got her mahmen's blood in her, too." Qhuinn looked at Blay. "And she's got good parents. They both do. We're in this together, people, three fathers and one mom, two kids. Bam!"
Xcor's voice got low. "A father…?" He laughed softly. "I went from having no family, to having a mate, a brother, and now…"
Qhuinn nodded. "A son and a daughter. As long as you are Layla's hellren, you are their father, too."
Xcor's smile was transformative, so wide that it stretched his face into something she had never seen. "A son and a daughter."
"That's right," Layla whispered with joy.
But then instantly that expression on his face was gone, his lips thinning out and his brows dropping down like he was ready to go on the attack. "She is never dating. I don't care who he is - "
"Right!" Qhuinn put his palm out for a high five. "That's what I'm talking about!"
"Now, hold on," Blay interjected as they clapped hands. "She has every right to live her life as she chooses."
"Yes, come on," Layla added. "This double-standard stuff is ridiculous. She's going to be allowed…"
As the argument st ~ J.R. Ward

When he pulled back, Blay frowned. "You're shaking."
Was it possible he wasn't imagining this? "Am I?"
"Yes."
"I don't care. I love you. I love you so damned much, and I"m sorry that I wasn't male enough to admit
"
Blay stopped him with a kiss. "You're plenty male enough now
the rest of it's in the past."
"I just ... God, I really am shaking, aren't I?
Yeah. But it's okay
I've got you."
Qhuinn turned his face into one of the male's palms. "You always have. You've always had me ... and my heart. My soul. Everything. ~ J.R. Ward

Hey, baby, how would you like a partner in crime-"
"Back off," Blay barked. "He's with me."
Abruptly Qhuinn's spine straightened: It was amply clear from the cold blue fire spitting out of Blay's eyes that the guy was prepared to tear the throat of that woman wide-open if she didn't disappear quick.
And that was ...
Awesome. ~ J.R. Ward

Qhuinn got down on one knee. Just dropped right on to the depiction of an apple tree in full bloom. "I don't have a ring. I don't have anything fancy in my mind or on my tongue." Qhuinn swallowed hard. "I know this is too early, and that it's out of the blue, but I love you and I want us to - " For once in his life, Blay had to agree with the guy - enough with the fucking talking. With a decisive shift of his body, he leaned down and kissed all that conversation right into silence. Then he pulled back and nodded. "Yes. Yes, absolutely, yes ... ~ J.R. Ward

The door to Blay's room opened wide without a knock, a hello, a hey-are-you-decent.
Qhuinn stood in between the jambs, breathing hard, like he'd run down the hall of statues.
Sh**, had Layla lost the pregnancy after all?
Those mismatched eyes searched around. "You by yourself?"
Why the hell would - Oh, Saxton. Right. "Yes - "
The male took three strides forward, reached up ... and kissed the ever-loving crap out of Blay.
The kiss was the kind that you remembered all your life, the connection forged with such totality that everything from the feel of the body against your own, to the warm slid of another's lips on yours, to the power as well as the control, was etched into your mind ... ~ J.R. Ward

Do not think of him with Blay. Do not think of him with Blay. Do not think of him -
"I didn't know you were a sherry man."
"Huh?" Qhuinn glanced down at what he'd poured himself. Fuck. In the midst of the self-lecture, he'd picked up the wrong bottle. "Oh, you know… I'm good with it."
To prove the point, he tossed back the hooch - and nearly choked as the sweetness hit his throat.
He served himself another only so he didn't look like the kind of idiot who wouldn't know what he was dishing out into his own glass.
Okay, gag. The second was worse than the first.
From out of the corner of his eye, he watched Saxton settle in at the table, the brass lamp in front of him casting the most perfect glow over his face. Shiiiiiit, he looked like something out of a Ralph Lauren ad, with his buff-colored tweed jacket and his pointed pocket square and that button-down/sweater vest combo keeping his fucking liver cozy.
Meanwhile, Qhuinn was sporting hospital scrubs, bare feet. And sherry. ~ J.R. Ward

I'd better go," he said, without leaving.
That one eye, the blue one, just kept staring up at him. Bloodshot, with a cut across the brow above it, the thing shouldn't have been able to focus. But it was.
"I have to go," Blay said finally.
Without leaving.
Damn him, he didn't know what the hell he was doing
A tear escaped from that eye. Welling up along the lower lid, it coalesced at the far corner, formed a crystal circle, and grew so fat it couldn't hold on to the lashes. Slipping free, it meandered downward, getting lost in dark hair at the temple. ~ J.R. Ward

You almost died tonight, he wanted to say. You dumb son of a bitch, you nearly died ... and then what would we have done?
And not "we" as in the Brotherhood.
Not even "we" as in he and John.
More like ... "me". ~ J.R. Ward

You could lose the ones you loved in the blink of an eye - and he was willing to bet, when it happened, you weren't thinking about all the reasons that could have kept you apart. You thought of all the reasons that kept you together.
And, no doubt, how you wished you'd had more time. Even if you'd had centuries ...
When you were young, you thought time was a burden, something to be discharged as fast as possible so you could be grown-up. But it was such a bait-n-switch - when you were an adult, you came to realize that minutes and hours were the single most precious thing you had.
No one got forever. And it was a fucking crime to waste what you were given. ~ J.R. Ward

Hey, as you leave, Qhuinn wanted to say, will you do me a favor? I think my left ventricle is on the floor, so don't step on it as you pull out? Thanks. Great. ~ J.R. Ward

Qhuinn climaxed on his next swallow, the orgasm shooting out of him before he could think of any kind of boring and unattractive distraction, the pleasure cresting with such power, he sagged in his own skin. Blay's chuckle was erotic as hell. Whatever, payback was going to be a bitch, Qhuinn vowed to himself. ~ J.R. Ward

As a collective exhale hit the airwaves, Qhuinn found himself looking over at Blay. Aw, hell, talk about a suck zone - this was why he avoided the guy like the plague. Just one glance and he was locked on, all kinds of reactions rolling through him, until the room spun a little
For no good reason, Blay's eyes flipped up and met his.
It was like getting goosed in the ass with a live wire, his body spasming to the point where he had to hide the reaction by coughing while he glanced away.
About as smooth as a crater. Yup. Fantastic. ~ J.R. Ward

Rough times." Qhuinn shrugged. "And I'm not interested in saints."
"Really? You're in love with one," Layla chimed in.
As Qhuinn glanced over at Blay, his mismatched eyes narrowed.
"Damn straight I am," he said softly.
As the redhead turned red
natch
that connection between the two males became positively tangible.
Love was such a beautiful thing. ~ J.R. Ward

In the silence that followed, violent anger hit Blay from out of
nowhere.
Now his hands shook for a different reason.
"So," Saxton said hoarsely. "How was your night?"
"What the hell happened down there?"
Saxton loosened his tie. Unbuttoned his collar. Took yet another
deep breath. "Family tiff, as it were."
"Bullsh*t."
Saxton shifted exhausted eyes over. "Must we do this?"
"What happened - "
"I think you and Qhuinn need to talk. And once you do, I won't have to worry about being jumped like a felon again."
Blay frowned. "He and I have nothing to say to each other - "
"With all due respect, the ligature marks around my neck would
suggest otherwise."
-Lover at Last, pg. 188 of the galleys ~ J.R. Ward

His first thought as he stared death in the face was that he was never going to meet his daughter. At least not on this side of the Fade. His second and final was that he couldn't believe he'd never told Blay he loved him. In all the minutes and hours and nights of his life, in all the words he'd spoken to the male over the years they'd known each other, he'd only ever pushed him away. And now it was too late. ~ J.R. Ward

No one got forever. And it was a fucking crime to waste what you were given. Enough, Qhuinn thought. Enough with the excuses, and the avoidance, and the trying to be someone, anyone else. Even if he got shanked, even if his precious little ego and his dumb-ass little heart got shattered into a million pieces, it was time to stop the bullshit. It was time to be a male. ~ J.R. Ward