Black Comedy Quotes

The day of the wedding went like these things generally do, full of anxious moments interspersed with black comedy. ~ Janet Street-Porter

...Mrs. Percy understood that staying beautiful all day long is the most important aspect of being married... ~ Tevin Hansen

It is the most ridiculous country in the world, Bangladesh. It is God's idea of a really good wheeze, his stab at black comedy. ~ Zadie Smith

Black Comedy is a farce that is played in the dark, as you know, with the lights full on. It's the Chinese convention of reversing light and dark, and exactly where anybody is at any given moment is the play. ~ Peter Shaffer

How shall I typify what happened? Passion play? Somewhat. Weird tale? Indubitably. Horror story? Pretty close. Grotesque melodrama? Certainly. Black comedy? Your point of view will determine that. Perhaps it was a combination of them all ...
So, to the story. A chronicle of greed and cruelty, horror and rapacity, sadism and murder.
Love, American style. ~ Richard Matheson

There's no such thing as a limit on being the best. You can always go for more. That's what it means to be human. No... That's what it means to be me. - Claire Stanfield ~ Ryohgo Narita

Social media is basically standing at a bucket filled with other people's vomit and you suck the vomit through a straw, and gag and wince at the unbearable taste of other people's vomit. Yet strangely we continue to suck through the straw as if we've never tasted such lovely vomit. And then before you know it you're old and you're grey. And that's the end of you. A lonely death. Your gravestone is marked with the six saddest words:

Social Media Drained My Soul Away

And they all mourn your loss at a budget funeral service while updating their social media statuses on mobile phones apps. And in years to come nobody remembers any of your updates; even those updates that you deep-down believed were going to bring about world peace. The Digital Age is more disposable than nappies and just as full of shit. ~ Rupert Dreyfus

When Kubrick decided to go the black comedy route with his movie, he thought of me to give it that flavor. ~ Terry Southern

My career is a black comedy of sorts. I spent a lot of time explaining myself to various different groups. But more and more, I'm finding that the desire to communicate, which all these audiences share, is a powerful thing. ~ G. Willow Wilson

I did this Super-8 film at art school called 'Tissues,' this black comedy about a family whose father has been arrested for child molestation. I was absolutely thrilled by every inch of it, and would throw my projector in the back of my car and show it to anybody who would watch it. ~ Jane Campion

I set out to do a horror film with 'Dog Soldiers,' and what I came out with at the end of the day was something that was more of a cult movie, more of a black comedy with some horror elements in it. It kind of went over the top. ~ Neil Marshall

Stanley Kubrick went with his gut feeling: he directed 'Dr. Strangelove' as a black comedy. The film is routinely described as a masterpiece. ~ Tim Cahill

Society in the English countryside is still strangely, quaintly divided. If black comedy and a certain type of social commentary are what you want, I think English rural communities offer quite a lot of material. ~ Rachel Cusk

My oldest brother used to take me to the theater. The first play he took me to see was 'Black Comedy,' then he took me to see 'Butley.' We'd see all these British plays. And 'Hello, Dolly,' with Pearl Bailey. I was unconsciously thinking, 'Gee, I would love to be able to do that.' ~ Nathan Lane

I love America and I hate it. I'm torn between the two. I have two conflicting visions of America. One is a kind of dream landscape and the other is a kind of black comedy. ~ Bono

I was so drunk I couldn't tell a vagina from a bullet hole ~ Andres Aloi

Yeah, even a black comedy. Where it's a little eerie. I'd love to do that. But there are about three really fabulous ones on the air now and I don't know if I can do any better than that. I'd like to sort of forge new ground. ~ Sharon Gless

I think back to back romantic comedies are good for black film. ~ Taye Diggs

Her occupation was the worst that anyone could think of. No guest in the park had to think of it because, unlike the wandering dwarf women, her job had no bearing on paper. ~ Pam Jones

The colonel stood up. "I hope you enjoy your trip to Uruguay. Its government is stable, democratic, and politically mature. There's even a welfare state. Of course, the people are entirely European in origin. I believe they exterminated all the Indians. As a German, you should feel very much at home there. ~ Philip Kerr

I love 'Monty Python,' 'Black Adder,' 'Fawlty Towers.' I'm a huge fan of British comedy. ~ Isla Fisher

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid. ~ Rita Rudner

My life is far from being simply black and white, it's every hue of the rainbow. ~ Dale Thele

My style is definitely schizophrenic; it does change from day to day a lot. It depends on my mood: sometimes I'll be going through a girly, childlike stage and wear a pretty lace dress with a bow in my hair. Then sometimes I'll be moody and just wear black. ~ Amber Le Bon

I left school and couldn't find acting work, so I started going to clubs where you could do stand-up. I've always improvised, and stand-up was this great release. All of a sudden, it was just me and the audience. ~ Robin Williams

Was I (am I not still?) a victim of words and books merely, and are books just an excuse for living, living things out in parenthesis, even in the most desolate stony place as I was, quotations and misquotations raining down on me thick and fast – words, words, words – the multitude of words, a parody of rain? For after all, as old Mrs Feany said, the rain is healthy. And the rain it raineth everyday. But the stuff of books and solitude and spying on the poor, could they be healthy? Or were my doubts the real heresy and treason? What book ever changed the world? It seems a solipsism to say that what changes the way we see the world, changes the world, but it is not. Where do you want me to begin? The Bible, Das Kapital? The Divine Comedy, The Satanic Verses? ~ Andrew McNeillie

Bad improvisers block action, often with a high degree of skill. Good improvisers develop action.(p.115) ~ Malcolm Gladwell

I guess the hardest thing is having so much love for you and it somehow not being returned. I develop crushes all the time, but that is just misdirected need for you. You are a hole in my life, a black hole. Anything I place there cannot be returned. ~ Timothy Conigrave

A little black girl yearns for the blue eyes of a little white girl, and the horror at the heart of her yearning is exceeded only by the evil of fulfillment ~ Toni Morrison

In comedy it helps if there's a friendly atmosphere on the set. ~ Chris O'Dowd

You understand, don't you, Mrs. Mackenzie?" Blackwell murmured, his hard mouth barely moving as the intensity of his regard pinned her to her seat. "The deeds of a willful youth."
A thrill of danger kissed her spine.
"Horseshit!" Morley roared.
Dorian turned back to face him, and Farah was able to let out a breath she hadn't been aware she'd been holding as the black spell he'd woven over her suddenly dissipated.
"For shame, Morley," he mockingly chided. "Such language in front of a lady."
"She is my employee," Sir Morley gritted through clenched teeth. "And I'll thank you not to bother about her if you want to keep the vision in the eye you have left."
"I can hardly help myself. She's such a ripe piece of skirt. ~ Kerrigan Byrne

Oh. My. If it isn't the Christian Grey of Pilates! ~ Tracie Podger

A murmur ran through the crowd, and I looked around to see what all the fuss was about. Then I saw him, walking past table after table as if everybody weren't stopping to stare at him.
Loki had ventured down from where he'd been hiding in the servants' quarters. Since I'd granted him amnesty, he was no longer being guarded and was free to roman as he pleased, but I hadn't exactly invited him to the wedding.
As Tove and I danced, I didn't take my eyes off Loki. He walked around the dance floor toward the refreshments, but he kept watching me. He got a glass of champagne from the table, and even as he drank his eyes never left me.
Another Markis came over and cut in to dance with me, but I barely noticed when I switched partners. I tried to focus on the person I was dancing with. But there was something about the way Loki looked at me, and I couldn't shake it.
The song had switched to something contemporary, probably the sheet music that Willa had slipped the orchestra. She'd insisted the whole thing would be far too dull if they only played classical.
The murmur died down, and people returned to dancing and talking. Loki took another swig of his champagne, then set the glass down and walked across the dance floor. Everyone parted around him, and I wasn't sure if it was out of fear or respect.
He wore all black, even his shirt. I had no idea where he'd gotten the clothes, but he did look debonair.
"May I have this dance?" Loki asked my dance p ~ Amanda Hocking

I was really more interested in dramatic work, but I thought, 'Well, I guess I could do comedy.' ~ Donny Most

Now I shall speak of evil as none has
Spoken before. I loathe such things as jazz;
The white-hosed moron torturing a black
Bull, rayed with red; abstractist bric-a-brac;
Primitivist folk-masks; progressive schools;
Music in supermarkets; swimming pools;
Brutes, bores, class-conscious Philistines, Freud, Marx, Fake thinkers, puffed-up poets, frauds, and sharks. ~ Vladimir Nabokov

When I find a colour darker than black, I'll wear it. But until then, I'm wearing black! ~ Coco Chanel

If you want to appeal to everyone, you can't do a world tour and expect black people to show up at every date - when you're in Australia, when you're in Dubai, when you're in Indonesia. ~ Kevin Hart

Once again, my colleague Stephen Hawking has upset the apple cart. The event horizon surrounding a black hole was once though to be an imaginary sphere. But recent theories indicate that it may actually be physical, maybe even a sphere of fire. But I don't trust any of these calculations until we have a full-blown string theory calculation, since Einstein's theory by itself is incomplete. ~ Michio Kaku

People scream at me, "Hey, let's party." I give off an I'm-crazy-and-I-want-to-arty-and-wrestle-you vibe. ~ Jack Black

As I'm standing up I hear the black van. I hear it before I see it; blended with the twilight, it appears out of its own sound like a solidification, a clotting of the night. ~ Margaret Atwood

Do your parents know you're here?' asked the lady at social Services. 'No,' I said, 'but I want to know about children's homes.' I had to stand on my toes to see over the reception desk. ~ Constance Briscoe

People sometimes think I take a white canvas and paint a black sign on it,but this is not true.I paint the white as well as the black and the white is just as important. ~ Franz Kline

In the twenty-first century the techniques of the political technologists have become centralized and systematized, coordinated out of the office of the presidential administration, where Surkov would sit behind a desk on which were phones bearing the names of all the "independent" party leaders, calling and directing them at any moment, day or night. The brilliance of this new type of authoritarianism is that instead of simply oppressing opposition, as had been the case with twentieth-century strains, it climbs inside all ideologies and movements, exploiting and rendering them absurd. One moment Surkov would fund civic forums and human rights NGOs, the next he would quietly support nationalist movements that accuse the NGOs of being tools of the West. With a flourish he sponsored lavish arts festivals for the most provocative modern artists in Moscow, then supported Orthodox fundamentalists, dressed all in black and carrying crosses, who in turn attacked the modern art exhibitions. The Kremlin's idea is to own all forms of political discourse, to not let any independent movements develop outside of its walls. Its Moscow can feel like an oligarchy in the morning and a democracy in the afternoon, a monarchy for dinner and a totalitarian state by bedtime. ~ Peter Pomerantsev

May I?" asked Amar.
I nodded. With a small knife, Amar deftly clipped a number of strands. Quickly, he twirled them into a bracelet and slipped it onto his wrist. There was another bracelet on his hand that I had not noticed until now. A simple strap of black leather tied into an elegant knot.
"Thank you for this," he said, pulling his sleeve over the other strap.
"It's nothing," I said, trying for lightness.
"And yet I would trade everything for it," he said. There was no tease in his voice. Nothing but a strange straightforwardness, like he'd never said anything more honest in his entire life.
"Then you must be relieved I gave it willingly."
"Astounded," he murmured, still tracing the circlet. He looked at me and something light fluttered in my stomach. "Not relieved. Relief is when you want something to stop."
A small light floated between us, only to vanish in an instant.
"What are those?"
Amar followed my gaze. "Wishes."
My eyes widened. "They grant wishes?"
"Sadly, no. They're wishes already made."
"Of what?"
"Or who?" countered Amar.
"Is this another secret the moon keeps from me?"
"No," said Amar with a grin. "It is a secret that I choose to keep from you. ~ Roshani Chokshi

'The Dice Man' is an anti-establishment cult novel, and you don't normally make studio films from such dark comedy material. ~ Luke Rhinehart

The sky a pit of violet, edged with black. ~ Anthony Doerr

Hunger erased all traces of love
so I packed my philosophy and left
My philosophy being simply
I can do better by myself ~ Margaret H. Oliver

She was Darcy Montgomery, Southern Sanctuary Special Liaison, she fixed things. When people irritated her, well, she fixed them… she fixed them good. Or should that be, for good? ~ Jane Cousins

Sometimes when you're relegated to your neighborhood, you forget that there's more important things than your neighborhood going on out in the world. ~ Ice Cube

I love black women. I live for them. They are everything to me. I'm obsessed with them. They are sophisticated, resilient and smarter than me. ~ Lee Daniels

Those ties...those ties are forever, and I never wanted to be connected to any other person so permanently. Forever was always meant for you and me, Spence. ~ Heather M. Orgeron

She thought that she had been seeking a light distraction. But when she heard the clang of metal on metal and saw Arin scraping a shaft of steel across the anvil with one set of tools and beating at it with another, Kestrel knew she had come to the wrong place.
"Yes?" he said, keeping his back to her. His workshirt was soaked through with sweat. His hands were sooty. He left the blade of the sword to cool on the anvil and moved to place another, shorter length of metal on the fire, which lined his profile with unsteady light.
She willed her voice to be her own. "I thought we could play a game."
His dark brows drew together.
"Of Bite and Sting," Kestrel said. More firmly, she added, "You implied you know how to play."
He used tongs to stoke the fire. "I did."
"You implied that you could beat me."
"I implied that there was no reason a Valorian would want to play with a Herrani."
"No, you worded things carefully so that what you said could be interpreted that way. But that isn't what you meant."
He faced her then, arms folded across his chest. "I have no time for games." The tips of his fingers had black rings of charcoal dust buried under the nail and into the cuticle. "I have work to do."
"Not if I say you don't."
He turned away. "I like to finish what I start."
She meant to leave. She meant to leave him to the noise and heat. She meant to say nothing more. Instead, Kestrel found herself issuing a challenge. "You are ~ Marie Rutkoski

Why don't you tremble?"
"I'm not cold."
"Why don't you turn pale?"
"I am not sick."
"Why don't you consult my art?"
"I'm not silly.
The old crone "nichered" a laugh under her bonnet and bandage; she then drew out a short black pipe, and lighting it began to smoke. Having indulged a while in this sedative, she raised her bent body, took the pipe from her lips, and while gazing steadily at the fire, said very deliberately
"You are cold; you are sick; and you are silly."
"Prove it," I rejoined.
"I will, in few words. You are cold, because you are alone: no contact strikes the fire from you that is in you. You are sick; because the best of feelings, the highest and the sweetest given to man, keeps far away from you. You are silly, because, suffer as you may, you will not beckon it to approach, nor will you stir one step to meet it where it waits you. ~ Charlotte Bronte

Don't wait up for me tonight, for the night will be black and white. ~ Gerard De Nerval

What a magnificent body, how I should like to see it on the dissecting table. ~ Ivan Turgenev