Bible Absurdities Quotes

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Quotes About Bible Absurdities

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When a mere girl, my mother offered me a dollar if I would read the Bible through; ... despairing of reconciling many of its absurd statements with even my childish philosophy, ... I became a sceptic, doubter, and unbeliever, long ere the 'Good Book' was ended. ~ Elmina Drake Slenker
Bible Absurdities quotes by Elmina Drake Slenker
According to Mark 11:12-13, God's messengers were not the only ones who were incompetent: 'He [Jesus] was hungry. And on seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to see if he could find anything on it. When he came to it, he found nothing but leaves, for it was not the season for figs.'
Imagine Jesus, the divine, holy, wisest of the wise not knowing that figs were out of season. Now allegedly Jesus could have performed a miracle and made figs magically appear, but he preferred sour grapes instead: Then he said to the tree, 'May no one ever eat fruit from you again.' (Mark 11:14) ~ G.M. Jackson
Bible Absurdities quotes by G.M. Jackson
The Bible makes it clear that reason is not the front door of faith. It takes spiritual eyes to discern spiritual matters. But how do we develop spiritual eyes unless Christians engage the culture with those questions and paradigms of mindfulness out of which spiritual logic flows? ~ Rosaria Champagne Butterfield
Bible Absurdities quotes by Rosaria Champagne Butterfield
From its inception patriarchy has relied on salvation narrative to underwrite its program of genocide, ecocide, sexual repression, child abuse, social domination, and spiritual control. This script works beautifully for the dominator agenda because it was deliberately written for it. How can a story about love, forgiveness and divine benevolence endorse the perpetration of evil? This seems impossible and against all reason, until we realize that the story is not what it appears to be. The salvation narrative of the Bible is a story of perpetration, conceived to support and legitimate the dominator agenda.
History shows that the religious ideals attached to salvation narrative have consistently been used to legitimate violence, rape, genocide, and destruction of the natural world…In the final balance the people who commit and promote violence and murder in the expression of religious beliefs may be a minute fraction of the faithful, but they are the ones who determine the course of events, shape history, affect society, and threaten the biosphere…To dissociate from the salvation narrative would be the most effective way for peace-loving people to end their complicity in the dominator agenda. ~ John Lamb Lash
Bible Absurdities quotes by John Lamb Lash
My God may not be your idea of God, but one thing I know of my God he makes me a humanitarian. I am a proud Jew because we gave the world the Bible and the story of Joseph. ~ Albert Einstein
Bible Absurdities quotes by Albert Einstein
No one ever said at the end of his days; 'I have read my bible too much, I have thought of God too much, I have prayed too much, I have been too careful with my soul' ~ J.C. Ryle
Bible Absurdities quotes by J.C. Ryle
Wow. Ted Cruz falsely suggested Marco Rubio mocked the bible and was just forced to fire his communications director. More dirty tricks. ~ Donald Trump
Bible Absurdities quotes by Donald Trump
The Bible is big in my teaching. It's a wonder the ACLU didn't get after me pretty good. I really kept thinking they would. I took my boys to church. I took my football team to church. I only did it two times a year. Before I signed a kid, I'd write the parents and I'd tell that parent we were gong to take your son to church twice. ~ Bobby Bowden
Bible Absurdities quotes by Bobby Bowden
The Bible is still loved by millions, read by millions, and studied by millions. It remains the most published and most read book in the world of literature. ~ Bernard Ramm
Bible Absurdities quotes by Bernard Ramm
Tears are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of compassion. ~ Jim George
Bible Absurdities quotes by Jim George
The governor of Texas, who, when asked if the Bible should also be taught in Spanish, replied that 'if English was good enough for Jesus, then it's good enough for me'. ~ Christopher Hitchens
Bible Absurdities quotes by Christopher Hitchens
You might be wondering why the Bible instructs us to speak against darkness, rather than think against it, if the real power is in what we think. While it's true that there can be great power in the words that we speak, this is only true when our words reflect our inner-most thoughts, and our inner-most thoughts are the things we believe in our spirit. Our spirit is where faith resides. And it is faith that God and the rest of the spiritual world recognize and respond to. If our words tell a demon to leave, while our spirit is transmitting thoughts of fear, the demon will perceive that we are afraid, and it will not leave. It is only when our words match the thoughts of our spirit - and we are single-minded - that the spirit world responds to what we say. ~ Praying Medic
Bible Absurdities quotes by Praying Medic
The Bible itself is a book that constantly must be wrestled with and re-interpreted ... Bible interpretation is colored by historical context, the reader's bias and current realities. The more you study the Bible, the more questions it raises. It is not possible to simply do what the Bible says. ~ Rob Bell
Bible Absurdities quotes by Rob Bell
Holy God, Holy words. ~ Lailah Gifty Akita
Bible Absurdities quotes by Lailah Gifty Akita
I was a Green Day guy because the first DVD I bought was Green Day's 'Bullet In A Bible,' the live album. That really empowered me to be not just a drummer but a performer. It's a really crucial part of why I wanted to be in a band. ~ Ashton Irwin
Bible Absurdities quotes by Ashton Irwin
God is not silent. It is the nature of God to speak. The second person of the Holy Trinity is called "The Word." The Bible is the inevitable outcome of God's continuous speech. It is the infallible declaration of His mind. ~ Aiden Wilson Tozer
Bible Absurdities quotes by Aiden Wilson Tozer
If you hold on to what you want so tightly, it almost becomes an idol. ~ Joel Osteen
Bible Absurdities quotes by Joel Osteen
the more we dig into the bible the deeper our faith gets ~ Stuart Bodin
Bible Absurdities quotes by Stuart Bodin
Erasmus's Bible-saturated mind. His was a mind too broad for fundamentalism, which rejects reason, and too honest for intellectualism, which rejects revelation. ~ John Mark Reynolds
Bible Absurdities quotes by John Mark Reynolds
The guiding factor for the development of Christian doctrine is the Bible itself! The text of Scripture provides the grounds and, most important, the limits for this development over time. Rather than bringing in outside influences (such as tradition), we recognize that no one has ever plumbed the depths of God's revelation contained in Scripture; no one has ever come close to exhausting what is to be found in its pages. Therefore, real development of Christian doctrine is simply our ever-increasing understanding of the Word. It is a delving deeper and deeper into the truths of the Word. ~ James R. White
Bible Absurdities quotes by James R. White
You don't find Truth, but Truth finds you. ~ Luis Marques
Bible Absurdities quotes by Luis Marques
The frequent hearing of my mistress reading
the bible--for she often read aloud when her
husband was absent--soon awakened my
curiosity in respect to this mystery of reading,
and roused in me the desire to learn. Having no
fear of my kind mistress before my eyes, (she
had given me no reason to fear,) I frankly asked
her to teach me to read; and without hesitation,
the dear woman began the task, and very soon,
by her assistance, I was master of the alphabet,
and could spell words of three or four
letters...Master Hugh was amazed at the
simplicity of his spouse, and, probably for the
first time, he unfolded to her the true philosophy
of slavery, and the peculiar rules necessary to
be observed by masters and mistresses, in the
management of their human chattels. Mr. Auld
promptly forbade the continuance of her
[reading] instruction; telling her, in the first
place, that the thing itself was unlawful; that it
was also unsafe, and could only lead to mischief.... Mrs. Auld evidently felt the force of
his remarks; and, like an obedient wife, began
to shape her course in the direction indicated by
her husband. The effect of his words, on me,
was neither slight nor transitory. His iron
sentences--cold and harsh--sunk deep into my
heart, and stirred up not only my feelings into a
sort of rebellion, but awakened within me a
slumbering train of vital ~ Frederick Douglass
Bible Absurdities quotes by Frederick Douglass
In 1962 and 1963, there were two abominable decisions out of the Supreme Court, and that was taking prayer out of school, and taking bible reading out of school. But you know, if you look at the statistics, two very critical things happened after that date. Number one: teen pregnancy skyrocketed. Number two: violent crime skyrocketed. ~ Rafael Cruz
Bible Absurdities quotes by Rafael Cruz
Only a fool will accept a gift you cannot keep. You can't keep anything from the world but salvation is wise and everlasting. John 3:16 ~ Felix Wantang
Bible Absurdities quotes by Felix Wantang
Hope is the music of the whole Bible, the heartbeat, the pulse and the atmosphere of the whole Bible. ~ Aiden Wilson Tozer
Bible Absurdities quotes by Aiden Wilson Tozer
I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. John 15:1 ~ Anonymous
Bible Absurdities quotes by Anonymous
The gloomy theology of the orthodox
the Calvinists
I do not, I cannot believe. Many of the notions
nay, most of the notions
which orthodox people have of the divinity of the Bible, I disbelieve. I am so nearly infidel in all my views, that too, in spite of my wishes, that none but the most liberal doctrines can command my assent. ~ Rutherford B. Hayes
Bible Absurdities quotes by Rutherford B. Hayes
Men, in a word, must necessarily be controlled, either by a power within them, or by a power without them; either by the word of God, or by the strong arm of man; either by the Bible, or by the bayonet. ~ Robert Charles Winthrop
Bible Absurdities quotes by Robert Charles Winthrop
The 'means of grace' are such as Bible reading, private prayer, and regularly worshiping God in Church, wherein one hears the Word taught and participates in the Lord's Supper. I lay it down as a simple matter of fact that no one who is careless about such things must ever expect to make much progress in sanctification. ~ J.C. Ryle
Bible Absurdities quotes by J.C. Ryle
We are to believe and follow Christ in all things, including his words about Scripture. And this means that Scripture is to be for us what it was to him: the unique, authoritative, and inerrant Word of God, and not merely a human testimony to Christ, however carefully guided and preserved by God. If the Bible is less than this to us, we are not fully Christ's disciples ... ~ James Montgomery Boice
Bible Absurdities quotes by James Montgomery Boice
If you think Democrats are going to take away your Bible, You're an idiot. If you think they are going to take away your gun, you're an armed idiot. If you think they're going to take away your gun and give it to a Mexican to kill your God, you're Bill O'Reilly. ~ Bill Maher
Bible Absurdities quotes by Bill Maher
The Christian-Islamic Church, of course, wanted both the Bible and the Koran frozen forever. ~ Philip K. Dick
Bible Absurdities quotes by Philip K. Dick
In many instances, the failures of my greatest schemes ultimately lead to the fulfillment of my greatest successes. Therefore, God will allow our most cherished dreams to perish so that we might turn and seek out His most cherished plans. ~ Craig D. Lounsbrough
Bible Absurdities quotes by Craig D. Lounsbrough
There are two views of interpreting the Bible in America: that every word is literally the truth without qualification, and then the other view is, it's called plenary inspiration, which holds that all religious truth taught in the Bible is true from God, but each word is not necessarily interpreted literally. ~ Robert H. Schuller
Bible Absurdities quotes by Robert H. Schuller
Did god make man too perfect,
So that a piece has to be removed
through circumcision? ~ A.J. Beirens
Bible Absurdities quotes by A.J. Beirens
In the Bible, ordination - I don't see that in the Scripture. In the Bible, it's whether you're filled with the Holy Spirit, whether you're anointed by God, whether you're called by God, whether you're obedient to Him. I want to be those things, but I don't see any purpose for me in being ordained. ~ Anne Graham Lotz
Bible Absurdities quotes by Anne Graham Lotz
All false religions cut away parts of God's revelation, add ideas of their own, and come out with various viewpoints that differ from God's revelation in the Bible. ~ Billy Graham
Bible Absurdities quotes by Billy Graham
The Bible refers to the Word as 'the sword of the Spirit.' What battles are you not winning if you are not equipped with your sword? ~ Monica Johnson
Bible Absurdities quotes by Monica Johnson
I have had great enlightenment from the writings of St. John of the Cross. When I was between seventeen and eighteen, they were my only spiritual food. But as I grew older, religious writers left me quite unmoved. I'm still like that. If I glance at a book, no matter how good and moving it is, my heart at once contracts and I read without understanding or, if I understand, I cannot meditate on it. When I'm in this state, the Bible and The Imitation come to my rescue. In them I find hidden manna, a pure and substantial food. But, above all, the Gospels help me in my prayers. They are always showing me new ways of looking at things, and I am always finding hidden and mysterious meanings in them. I understand and, by experience, I know that the Kingdom of God is within us. Jesus has no need of books or doctors of the Church to guide souls. He, the Doctor of doctors, can teach without words. I have never heard Him speak, but I know that He is within me. He guides and inspires me every moment of the day. Just when I need it, a new light shines on my problems. This happens not so much during my hours of prayer as when I'm busy with my daily work. ~ John Beevers
Bible Absurdities quotes by John Beevers
Never preach a sermon without a text from the Bible, a text containing the theme which you can elaborate. The text is the best proof in support of your argument. A sermon without a text is an argument without a proof. ~ Isaac Mayer Wise
Bible Absurdities quotes by Isaac Mayer Wise
Learning to read the Bible in the light of the times in which it was written is critical. ~ Adam Hamilton
Bible Absurdities quotes by Adam Hamilton
A few years ago the Deists denied the inspiration of the Bible on account of its cruelty. At the same time they worshiped what they were pleased to call the God of Nature. Now we are convinced that Nature is as cruel as the Bible; so that, if the God of Nature did not write the Bible, this God at least has caused earthquakes and pestilence and famine, and this God has allowed millions of his children to destroy one another. So that now we have arrived at the question
not as to whether the Bible is inspired and not as to whether Jehovah is the real God, but whether there is a God or not. ~ Robert G. Ingersoll
Bible Absurdities quotes by Robert G. Ingersoll
In the Bible, the opposite of Sin, with a capital 'S,' is not virtue - it's faith: faith in a God who draws all to himself in his resurrection. ~ Robert Farrar Capon
Bible Absurdities quotes by Robert Farrar Capon
The Bible is not man's word about God, but God's word about man. ~ John Barth
Bible Absurdities quotes by John Barth
Though he believed implicitly everything he saw in print, he had learned already that in the Bible things that said one thing quite clearly often mysteriously meant another. ~ W. Somerset Maugham
Bible Absurdities quotes by W. Somerset Maugham
What Jerry has done, in a masterful way, is go through and select portions of the Scripture and put words in Jesus' mouth that are legitimate because they already appear in the Bible. ~ Tim LaHaye
Bible Absurdities quotes by Tim LaHaye
You are really and truly and completely free. There is no kicker. There is no if, and, or but. You are free. You can do it right or wrong. You can obey or disobey. You can run from Christ or run to Christ. You can choose to become a faithful Christian or an unfaithful Christian. You can cry, cuss, and spit, or laugh, sing, and dance. You can read a novel or the Bible. You can watch television or pray. You're free ... really free. ~ Steve Brown
Bible Absurdities quotes by Steve Brown
As world events develop, prophecy becomes more and more exciting...This writer doesn't believe that we have prophets today who are getting direct revelations from God, but we do have prophets today who are being given special insight into the prophetic word. God is opening the book of the prophets to many men. This is one reason you will find on Christian bookshelves an increasing number of books on the subject of Bible prophecy. ~ Hal Lindsey
Bible Absurdities quotes by Hal Lindsey
Without the Holy Bible, how can we believe in God? ~ Lailah Gifty Akita
Bible Absurdities quotes by Lailah Gifty Akita
It is quite easy to remark the absurdities and contradictions of a country's social system from outside its borders, but very difficult if one has been brought up in it ... ~ Doris Lessing
Bible Absurdities quotes by Doris Lessing
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