Baby Shower Quotes

Paris Hilton is one of the hosts for Nicole Richie's baby shower, and they're serving sushi. Awesome, Paris - sushi, the one thing pregnant women are forbidden to eat. Thanks for the mercury. ~ Chelsea Handler

Speaking of chocolate, what kind of cake are we having for the shower?"
"I don't know."
Sincerely shocked, Peabody jerked around in her seat. "You didn't get cake?"
"I don't know. Probably." Because the idea of the shower, what she had to do, hadn't done, should do, made her stomach jitter, Eve squirmed. "Look, I called the caterer, okay? I did it myself. I didn't dump it on Roarke, I didn't ask - God forbid - Summerset to handle it."
"Well, what did you ask for? What's the theme?"
The jitters escalated into a roiling. "What do you mean, theme?"
"You don't have a theme? How can you have a baby shower without a theme?"
"Jesus Christ, I need a theme? I don't even know what that means. I called the caterer. I did my job. I told her it was a baby shower. I told her how many people, more or less. I told her when and where. She started asking me all kinds of questions, which gives me a fucking headache, and I told her not to ask me all kinds of questions or she was fired. Just to do whatever needed doing. Why isn't that enough?"
Peabody's sigh was long and heartfelt. "Give me the caterer's info, and I'll check in with her. Does she do the decorations, too?"
"Oh, my God. I need decorations?"
"I'm going to help you, Dallas. I'm going to run interference with the caterer. I'm going to come over early on the day and help get it set up."
Eve narrowed her eyes and tried to ignore the joy and relief bubbling in her breast. "And what's ~ J.D. Robb

I can handle it. But it stinks, if you ask me, really stinks, that you get to go out somewhere drinking beer while I'm stuck at Baby Central. Just because you have a penis."
"We'll think fondly of you over beer, me and my penis."
She ate a little more, then smiled slowly. "You've still got to be in the birthing room when she pushes it out."
"Shut up, Eve."
"Your penis won't save you then, Pal. ~ J.D. Robb

I prefer to sing in the shower because the acoustics make you sound great, baby. ~ Naima Adedapo

In the Mexican culture, we never miss a baptism, a birthday, a baby shower, a wedding shower, a wedding. You must show up. Otherwise, you'll be in big trouble. ~ Eva Longoria

Have a baby shower, then an abortion. Now you just have to lose a little weight to squeeze into all your skimpy new outfits. ~ Bauvard

If you want to give a tangible present, but you know the recipient wants cash, give a little bit of both. This strategy is helpful for occasions that involve a public opening of presents, like a bridal or baby shower. You can give something that can be wrapped and opened, along with a card containing a check. ~ Jean Chatzky

Before a baby is born, you have a baby shower, not a fetus shower. ~ June Hunt

My little girl, Anja, is really excited. We had a baby shower yesterday and she took the presents from everyone for me and was telling them, 'No, it's my baby.' ~ Alessandra Ambrosio

Most of life's issues can simply be answered by posing this one question to yourself " Is it worth it--to me? ~ Heidi Thompson

Joey looked confused and horrified, like a stripper bursting out of a cake only to realize she's been accidentally delivered to a baby shower. ~ Justin Halpern

Strand of auburn hair out of her face and tried smoothing it back into the knot at the base of her neck. Yes, this is exactly what I would want for my baby shower ... if I ever get to have one. A stabbing pain entered her heart before crisscrossing its way through ~ Katie Ashley

A.J. notices an Elmo doll sitting on the floor with a note attached to his matted red chest by a safety pin. He sets the baby down and picks up Elmo, a character A.J. has always despised because he seems too needy. ~ Gabrielle Zevin

Prism! Where is that baby? ~ Oscar Wilde

I'm getting your name on my left wrist and our child's on my right wrist. Wrists are a lethal part of the body to be cut; any laceration could potentially be fatal. Without you and our baby I might as well be dead, so I'm putting you both in plain view so I never lose sight of that."

I touched my chest as a lump formed in my throat.

"That was oddly disturbin' and insanely beautiful at the same time. ~ L.A. Casey

Those books made it crystal clear that giving honey to your baby before he was a year old made you a terrible mother. The moment a spoon of honey would touch his lips, the words "Awful Mother" would appear on your forehead, forever branding you as a parenting failure. ~ Ilona Andrews

I'm sorry, Rosie," Silas says when he sees the sadness in my eyes. I shake my head, trying to brush the look away, but Silas isn't easily deterred. He hesitates, then leans on the counter beside me, moving slowly as if he needs verification that each move is acceptable, wanted.
"Hey," he says, resting two fingers on my arm. It starts as a friendly gesture. I press my lips together as he slides his palm up my arm and around his shoulders. Silas paused, and though I'm not certain, I think he realizes that the touch is far more friendly as well - a thought that makes me dizzy but practically forces me to move my own hand to the small of his back. I close my eyes and inhale, and I feel Silas's breath on my forehead, hear his relaxed heartbeats. His lips are so close to me, I could easily tilt my head back and kiss him if I were braver. It's hard to not sigh, like the exhausted breath is building up in my chest and I'm holding it back, though more than anything I want to release it, to truly hold myself against him -
Scarlett's shower cuts off. Silas snatches his arm away and I lean back up, head swirling from the quick change.
"Um . . . right," Silas says, looking startled. He looks at me. "Okay, back to studying Potentials, wolves, important stuff . . ." He shakes his head as if he's casting away a mental fog.
I bite my lip. I want to get out of here - I need to get out of here, or the thumping desire for Silas is going to consume me. There's no way Scarlett ~ Jackson Pearce

The day-to-day changes in Amy amazed me: the next evening Raye called me from the studio to say that she and Mark had had a really good day working. He also said that she had been able to take her prescribed Subutex, as she had been drug-free for twelve hours. When it came time for her next dose, though, she couldn't have it as, once again, she had taken other drugs. As a result, she went into withdrawal and the whole process started yet again. That Sunday, I drove down to the Henley studio to find Amy in bed. She was filthy and suffering the effects of withdrawal. I managed to get her into the shower, realizing again how painfully thin she was. If Amy had died at that point, I wouldn't have been at all surprised. I put her back to bed and stayed with her until she fell asleep. Sitting in a chair next to her bed, I despaired. I was running out of ideas. If she took drugs she couldn't take Subutex for twelve hours. If she didn't take Subutex she went into withdrawal so she took more drugs. A horrible vicious circle. ~ Mitch Winehouse

The whole point of Gen X was, and continues to be, a negation of being forced into Baby Boomerdom against one's will. ~ Douglas Coupland

Without you, I'm not me. Something inside that I didn't even know about is broken without you. ~ Roxanne Snopek

It never enters the lady's head that the wet-nurse's baby probably dies. ~ Harriet Martineau

I'm not particularly pre-occupied with the husband / baby thing. Besides I have a dog. ~ Calista Flockhart

When I think of Tomodachi, I think of your mother. Your mother, she too lose her baby. She lose you. That very sad thing for her. Maybe she come looking, and she not find you. You not there when she come. She think you dead for ever. But she see you in her mind. Now as I speak maybe she see you in her mind. You always there. I know. I have son too. I have Michiya. He always in my head. Like Kimi. They dead for sure, but they in my head. They in my head forever. ~ Michael Morpurgo

The old clock on the kitchen wall still clicked its minutes with fussy punctuality. A life had come and gone and nature had not paused a second for it. The machine of time and space grinds on, and people are fed through it like grist through the mill. Isabel had managed to sit up a little against the wall, and she sobbed at the sight of the diminutive form, which she had dared to imagine as bigger, as stronger – as a child of this world. 'My baby my baby my baby my baby,' she whispered like a magic incantation that might resuscitate him. The face of the creature was solemn, a monk in deep prayer, eyes closed, mouth sealed shut: already back in that world from which he had apparently been reluctant to stray. Still the officious hands of the clock tutted their way around. Half an hour had passed and Isabel had said nothing. ~ M.L. Stedman

November 30th marks Luna Hale's eighteenth birthday. Time fucking flies - I remember when she was just a baby and we'd tap each other's noses and say beep beep. ~ Krista Ritchie

So you're saying that after I take a disappointing shower I should get in bed and lay there and weep? ~ Mike Rowe

I think they're bogus, honestly. How utter garbage like Crash and Million Dollar Baby can win best picture, where true works of art such as Garden State go untouched is beyond me. It just proves how close-minded America really is, and I refuse to take part in it. ~ Zach Braff

One of my most vivid memories of the mid-1950s is of crying into a washbasin full of soapy grey baby clothes - there were no washing machines - while my handsome and adored husband was off playing football in the park on Sunday morning with all the delightful young men who had been friends to both of us at Cambridge three years earlier. ~ Claire Tomalin

Stop checking me out and making me all dizzy when I'm annoyed with you."
"I make you dizzy?" I smile smugly, and she huffs, blowing a piece of hair out of her face. "I can't help it, baby. Swear to god, you're adorable when you're flustered, but when you're pissed, you're fucking exquisite. ~ Aurora Rose Reynolds

We had two rules growing up in my house: If you're going to take a shower, do it with whomever you're dating so you don't waste water; and if you buy one for yourself, buy six, because everybody's going to want one. ~ Moon Unit Zappa

Just as there is no warning for childbirth, there is no preparation for the sight of a first child ... There should be a song for women to sing at this moment, or a prayer to recite. But perhaps there is none because there are no words strong enough to name the moment. ~ Anita Diamant

Bree and I were together for five damn years - so you know a nigga was fucked up in the head when I learned she had another nigga's baby. I ~ Tynessa

But what I really want is to just swim around in a warm baby pool of these friends, jump in their dry leaf pile-to rub them all over myself, without words and clothes. ~ Dave Eggers

Baby's room should be close enough to your room so that you can hear baby cry, unless you want to get some sleep, in which case baby's room should be in Peru. ~ Dave Barry

Now he had chanced on one of he standard hard-on sessions of the shower, as on both sides of him and across the room three queens sported horizontal members which they turned around from time to time to conceal or display, barely exchanging looks as they resolved. The old men took no interest in this activity, knowing perhaps from long experience that it rarely meant anything or led anywhere, was a brief and helpless surrender to the forcing-house of the shower. In a few seconds the hard-on might pass from one end of the room to the other with the foolish perfection of a Busby Berkeley routine. ~ Alan Hollinghurst

You have the greatest ass I've ever laid eyes on," he said matterof-
factly.

"Thanks! I take that as a compliment, considering all the ass you've
laid eyes on. But I'm still taking a shower by myself," she said with a
smile before closing the bathroom door. ~ Jessica Jayne

Winkie? Flesh flute? Tallywhacker? Baby maker? Quiver bone? Joystick? Fun stick? Lap rocket? Love muscle? Wedding tackle? One-eyed wonder weasel? Helmet head? Wang? Trouser snake? Giggle stick? Schlong? Mushroom head? Love rod? Pecker? Thundersw - "
"Enough!" Lucian barked, and when Bricker paused and glanced to him questioningly, he said, "I do not know what alarms me more, that you have so many names for cock or what it means in regard to how much time you spend thinking about cock. ~ Lynsay Sands

You don't deserve this life, baby, and there isn't a fucking thing I can do to make it better for you ~ Colleen Hoover

Have you ever heard about string theory? Everything is tied together, works together, shrinks, expands, and breathes together. Maybe we're on the same string, baby. We're right beside each other. We're the same thing." His mouth takes mine. He pulls away. "My blood, your blood..." Another kiss...his voice hot on my cheek. "One day I tried to calculate the odds of how we met. The odds of February 14. There are no odds. For us, there are no odds because it isn't chance." - Kellan ~ Ella James

I would love to tell you that I don't worry about losing the weight after the baby is born, but I do try to think before I eat. The first cookie? Definitely! But I try to think about if I really want to do the extra sit-ups before I eat the second one. ~ Emily Procter

I usually doze off between 7:30 and 9 p.m. while putting my baby to sleep. Then I suddenly wake up remembering I'm an adult with no bedtime. I spend the next four hours catching up on reading, e-mails, and other adult pursuits until I collapse for good until sunrise. ~ Padma Lakshmi

When you live with a woman you learn something every day. So far I have learned that long hair will clog up the shower drain befor you can say "Liquid-Plumr"; that it is not advisable to clip something out of the newspaper before your wife has read it, even if the newspaper in question is a week old; that I am the only person in our two-person household who can eat the same thing for dinner three nights in a row without pouting; and that headphones were invented to preserve spouses from each other's musical excesses. ~ Audrey Niffenegger

When you get real big baby, remember that little old cowgirl. Waiting for you back in that red river valley. ~ Lana Del Rey

Do you want this marriage to work or not?' she said. 'My spreadsheet identified –' I interpreted Sonia's expression as I don't want to hear about your fucking spreadsheet. Do you, emotionally, as a whole mature person, want to live the rest of your life with Rosie and the Baby Under Development or are you going to let a computer make that decision for you, you pathetic geek? 'Work. But I don't think –' 'You think too much. Take her out to dinner and talk it over. ~ Graeme Simsion