Askernish Golf Quotes

I don't think anywhere is there a symbiotic relationship between caddie and player like there is in golf. ~ Johnny Miller

Golf is not a good walk spoiled. It is becoming a good walk prohibited. Show me the common sense in this and I promise I will relent. But there is no common sense at all in the prohibition of walking. ~ Lorne Rubenstein

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. ~ Jack Lemmon

All I wanted was eighteen holes of golf on Saturday afternoon, and instead I turned into Snow White with hair on my chest. ~ Stephen King

Golf is played with the arms. ~ Sam Snead

Golf is the only-est sport. You're completely alone with every conceivable opportunity to defeat yourself. Golf brings out your assets and liabilities as a person. The longer you play, the more certain you are that a man's performance is the outward manifestation of who, in his heart, he really thinks he is. ~ Hale Irwin

I'm in the woods so much I can tell you which plants are edible. ~ Lee Trevino

One of the big changes in the Congress since I first came to Washington is that all of these folks go home every weekend. They used to play golf together; their families got to know each other, go to dinner at each other's homes at weekends - and these would be people who were political adversaries. ~ Robert M. Gates

If I owned a Rembrandt and it had some dull colors, I don't think I'd go put reds and yellows in there just to brighten it up. I feel the same way about old golf courses. When you have a masterpiece, I sure wouldn't tinker with it. ~ Ray Floyd

Golf is an ideal diversion, but a ruinous disease. ~ B.C. Forbes

Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it. ~ Robin Williams

I played golf ... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying ... ~ Mitch Hedberg

I have a great golf swing. I just wish I had someone to push me on it. ~ Jarod Kintz

I don't think I'll live long enough to shoot my age. I'm lucky to shoot my weight. ~ Bruce Lansky

The muttered hint, "Remember, you have a stroke here," freezes my joints like a blast from Siberia. ~ John Updike

I don't play golf for fame. ~ Bubba Watson

If you think your hands are more important in your golf swing than your legs, try walking a hole on your hands. ~ Gary Player

Trouble shots are surprisingly easy if you activate your imagination. You simply must be able to imagine exactly what flight the ball will take before you can play any shot well. ~ Walter Hagen

Business idea: Merge a billiard table with a golf course, and make the pockets as deep as a typical politician's pants. ~ Jarod Kintz

Golf's three ugliest words: still your shot. ~ Dave Marr

I think dates considered super corny and cheesy - whether it's going bowling or miniature golf or something where you can be competitive and just have fun with each other - those always make the most memorable dates! ~ Aimee Teegarden

Golf is like smoking, I have been trying to quit for years. ~ Brian Weiss

I've gotten rid of the yips four times but they hang in there. You know those two-foot downhill putts with a break? I'd rather see a rattlesnake. ~ Sam Snead

I am very proud of the fact I do not cheat when I'm playing golf. ~ Barack Obama

God said to Faldo, as He once said to Nicklaus, "You will have the skills like no other." Then he whispered to Ballesteros, as he whispered to Palmer, "But they will love you more." ~ Tom Callahan

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron. ~ Lee Trevino

It's great to have a lot of support; people recognizing what you're doing out there and identifying with you in whatever way they see fit is a great fit, I think, and for me it's neat, for people to want to come to the golf course and watch me play golf. ~ Jason Dufner

If long hitting is the thing that causes the spectators to whistle through their teeth in wonderment, why not play tournaments up and down an expansive stadium? ~ Robert Harris

My favorite sport, frankly, is college football. I'm a college football junkie, even though I'm associated with golf and like golf and have played it all my life. ~ Dan Jenkins

the End of Everything meant the End maybe for all time, maybe in all the universe, of Golf. ~ Peter Heller

When I was 15, a well off man told me the secret to success was golf. It took me until I became 30 to realize it was the true. Today, you couldn't convince me otherwise. ~ Colleen Ferrary Bader

I thought Manual Labor was a Mexican golf pro. ~ Lee Trevino

Forty-one rules aren't so many - St. Benedict had 73 to keep the brethren on the straight and narrow. ~ Colman McCarthy

I don't play golf competitively. I tell everybody that I cheat so they won't gamble with me. That's why you can't watch football. Everybody's gambling. They don't want to watch the game; they watch the spread. ~ Jack Nicholson

Golf is a game in which you claim the privileges of age, and retain the playthings of childhood. ~ Samuel Johnson

I always putted without a glove but I have no idea why - I saw others doing it and copied them. ~ Seve Ballesteros

Which one of you is going to be runner-up? ~ Walter Hagen

There is no truth in the idea that the person who hits the most balls will become the best golfer. Golf is a bizarre sport. You can work for years on your game, without making any improvement in your score. ~ Fred Couples

I've always - I grew up on the old-style traditional type of golf course, tree lined and all small greens, big undulations. And Oakmont just fit my eye. ~ Paula Creamer

Extremely large greens breed slovenly play. When any green ceases to command respect, it loses its value as a test of that rarest of all strokes, the shot home. ~ A. W. Tillinghast

The only difference between realizing a dream and losing oneself in fantasy [is] backbreaking work. ~ Mark Frost

Though he never articulated it, I know Tiger believed in the idea of the Package. It went along with the sense of destiny his father had passed to him - that he was put on this earth to do something extraordinary with his special qualities, to "let the legend grow."
But those qualities, foremost among them an extraordinary ability to focus and stay calm under pressure, also included selfishness, obsessiveness, stubbornness, coldness, ruthlessness, pettiness, and cheapness.
When they were all at work in the competitive arena, they helped him win. And winning gave him permission to remain a flawed and in some ways immature person. ~ Hank Haney

A gift was what another person thought of you, and over the years he'd come to understand, by consensus, that his children saw him as someone who wore a tie to work, used power tools, played golf and drank scotch, which, while all true, seemed a superficial view of him. And yet when asked directly, he couldn't say what he wanted. Nothing. ~ Stewart O'Nan

I have always wanted to live where one could practice (golf) shots in one's pajamas before breakfast. ~ Alister MacKenzie

And Kate Hepburn-God, she's beautiful, God, she plays golf well, God, she can get anyone in the world on the phone, God, she knows what to do all the time, God, she wears clothes well. ~ Joseph L. Mankiewicz

I'm playing like Tarzan-and scoring like Jane. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

What separates great players from the good ones is not so much ability as brain power and emotional equilibrium. ~ Arnold Palmer