Are You Kidding Me Quotes

We lived in a safe, family-friendly area, but parts of London were rough, as you'd expect from any large city. Mark had a knack for attracting muggers. One time, we were in a train station and a little kid--no more than about eight years old--came up to him: "Oi, mate, give me your phone." We always carried the cool Nokia phones with the Snake game on them, and they were the hot item. It was like inviting trouble carrying one around, but we didn't care.
Mark thought the mini-mugger was crazy: "Are you kidding me? No way." Then he looked over his shoulder and realized the kid wasn't alone; he had a whole gang with him. So Mark handed over his phone and the kid ran off. I never let him live down the fact that an eight-year-old had mugged him.
I had my own incident as well, but I handled it a little differently. I got off the train at Herne Hill station and noticed that two guys were following me. I could hear their footsteps getting closer and closer. "Give us your backpack," they threatened me.
"Why? All I have is my homework in here," I tried to reason with them. They had seen me on the train with my minidisc player and they knew I was holding out on them. "Give it," they threatened.
My bag was covered with key chains and buttons, and as I took it off my shoulder, pretending to give it to them, I swung it hard in their faces. All that hardware knocked one of them to the ground and stunned the other. With my bag in my hand, I ran the mile home without ever ~ Derek Hough

Were you in the military?"
"Are you kidding me? I was in high school."
"High school," he said quietly. "You're American. And a civilian?"
"Uh, yes. An American civilian."
"Lovely. A straight answer. Keep it up. Did somebody train you?"
"No, nobody trained me. Unless you count the Rhode Island child welfare and juvenile justice systems. Why?"
Malachi held up his hand and ticked off the reasons with his fingers. "You stole a Guard's weapon. If I'm not mistaken, it belonged to a Gate Guard. Which means you managed to do it on your way into the city. You escaped Amid even after he had you in hand. You slashed his leg in just the right place, preventing him from chasing you. Under extreme duress, injured and cornered, you threw a knife and hit a target-"
"It's not like I hit something vital. ~ Sarah Fine

Go down on you? Are you kidding me? In two years, you can count the times on one hand?" Lucas looked appalled. "He had the sweetest pussy in all creation right next to him all that time and he didn't spend his days and nights buried in it? ~ Melanie Harlow

Most writers write too much. I have the exact opposite problem. I feel I could write almost anything in a paragraph. I have a natural ability to condense, and so I often think, "Are you kidding me? Five thousand words? How am I gonna make 5,000 words out of that?" ~ Fran Lebowitz

When people are coming to Krakow and we show them how and where we practice, they are like, 'Seriously? Are you kidding me?' But we're always saying that what matters about the courts - the lines, the nets - are the same. I'm practicing in Poland even when I don't have good facilities. ~ Agnieszka Radwanska

(You think I'm gonna tell you how much I spend on fro yo? Are you kidding me? We just met. ~ Brian Donovan

There was someone sitting in his room, over on that chair -
"Are you kidding me?" He exhaled a curse and rubbed the back of his brain. "Really? Are you fucking kidding me?"
Across the way, like some fucked-up scarecrow, a pair of blue jeans, that Nirvana concert T-shirt of the angel's, the flannel bullshit, and a set of Nikes had been stuffed with God only knew what. The head of the "Lassiter" was made out of a nylon bag that had had potatoes in it, and the black and yellow hair was a collection of knee-high business socks - probably Butch's - and Swiffer cleaning rags that had been safety pinned in place.
Around its neck? A handwritten sign that read: the boss was here. ~ J.R. Ward

The best part of being an angel investor is seeing these kids coming up with companies that get way more traffic than Reddit had when we sold it. I think, 'Are you kidding me? They're just kids, and they've done so much.' ~ Alexis Ohanian

The Saint - for I was convinced he was a Saint, indeed, whatever the rest of us might have been - now had a fistful of dangling mind-fire threads. "She is broken, this one, in her mind and heart," he said, carefully scooping up the blazing filaments and packing them back into Jannoula. "You must learn to fill yourself with yourself, Blessed."
"D-don't break her any further," I pleaded, feeling responsible.
He gave me a sidelong look, and for a moment I thought he was angry. But he said, "Would you break a mirror, Seraphina, because you fear to look into it? ~ Rachel Hartman

The chorus of "Jack and Diane" is: Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone. Are you kidding me? The thrill of living was high school? Come on, Mr. Cougar Mellencamp. Get a life. ~ Mindy Kaling

If you read reviews that you think by their very nature are not respectful of the actresses involved or not appreciating the work as it should be, I think you should write to reviewers or comment and say, "Are you kidding me?" ~ Romola Garai

It wasn't Dean's fault," Allie insists. "Seriously, it's all on me. I freaked out for no reason." She finally looks over at me. "See? This is why I don't like horror movies! You watch one scary movie when you're a kid and suddenly everyone who comes to your door is a serial killer."

"Are you kidding me right now? You'll watch a horror movie with my sister but not me? We have to watch the cancer movie?"

"Dicky," Summer chides. "You're being grumpy."

I glare at my sister with enough force to make her wince. "Not one word out of you," I snap. "And don't think I didn't feel you kick me right before I passed out. Who does that, Summer? Who kicks a man when he's down?"

From the corner of my eye, I see Tucker sink to the floor. He buries his face in his hands, shaking with laughter.

The EMT blocks my line of sight by squatting in front of me. "I need to examine you for a concussion."

Oh for fuck's sake. ~ Elle Kennedy

But for as long as I've done this, there are still times I'm blown away when souls drop in for a visit. I'll never forget when, during a group reading, I saw a man sitting at the end of the dining room table. He wanted me to tell the host that he knew she was concerned about her best friend's husband. Then he looked at me and said, "I'm going to be with my father now." I told this story to the group in real time, and the host, overwhelmed with emotion, excused herself and left the room upset. When she came back, she said that just forty minutes before the session began, her best friend called to say that her husband died and his last words in private were, "I'm going to be with my father now." Are you kidding me with this? If that's a parlor trick, I'm one hell of a magician. ~ Theresa Caputo

Since when did you bring a gun?" Navidson asks, crouching near the door.
"Are you kidding me? This place is scary. ~ Mark Z. Danielewski

The great irony is that women are accused of making romantic comedies, as if it's a bad thing, but [(500) Days of Summer] Marc Webb makes a romantic comedy and he gets Spider-Man [as his next project]. Are you kidding me? You cannot win. ~ Manohla Dargis

How did you hear about that?' 'Are you kidding me? So far, I had that runt Kyle-' 'I hate him. I hate all vamps. That complete toad, Michael-' '-tell me you were pregnant by a vamp-' 'kidnnaped me and-Kyle said WHAT?' 'and then a member of the Domi shows up and informs me-' 'The Domi sent someone HERE?' '-that you're actually pregnant by the late king of the Fey.' 'Late?!' Heidar squeaked. ~ Karen Chance

Think of the Christians fed to the lions because they wouldn't renounce their faith. As if their god wouldn't forgive them their desire to life?..."
"Are you kidding me? You're going to blame the Christians, not the Romans? How about they just don't throw them to the goddamn lions in the first place? Don't delude yourself. You're the monster here. ~ Laini Taylor

Not bad"? Are you kidding me? He looks like that and his kissing skills are "not bad"? You're killing me here. ~ Kristina Adams

[Richard] remembered asking Tommy once why he didn't want to transition into a woman.
"And lose my cock, balls and prostate? Are you kidding me? Honey, I'm still all man. I'm just a man with decoration."
Tommy Wilkins, A Very Tate Christmas (Tate Pack #3) ~ Vicktor Alexander

I gave you sympathy. *I* want sympathy!"
"Are you kidding me? You have the sexiest man on the planet wanting you. You're getting laid regularly. No sympathy for you! ~ Jill Shalvis

To play Hillary Clinton? I'm kind of winging it. No, are you kidding me? I prepared obsessively. I mean, as much as I could in the time that I was given. Of course, with someone like Hillary Clinton, obviously, anything you want is on YouTube and at your fingertips there. ~ Hope Davis

I took a step back and appraised the sight of the naked torso in front of me. He'd always had an amazing body, but Christ. Trip had gotten freaking ripped.
I put my hands to my hips and asked, "Are you kidding me? What the hell is this?"
My anger probably missed its mark, considering I was standing there totally nude. It's hard to be taken seriously when you're not wearing any clothes.
He knew exactly what I was talking about and was trying to contain a smile as he asked, "What?"
I rolled my eyes. "When did this happen? Jesus. Look at you! Give a girl a heads up about such a thing, huh?"
That made the smile crack his features. "What? So I've been hitting it a little harder lately. I just came off a gladiator film and I'm starting a hockey flick in a few weeks. Occupational hazard, I guess."
"Yeah. A hazard to me, maybe! Here I am with my saggy ass and you're standing there looking like Michelangelo's David, you jagweed!"
He stepped closer, grabbing my butt and pulling me into direct contact with what was assuredly going to be revealed as his perfect dick. He probably lifted weights with that thing, too. His cock probably possessed its own set of washboard abs. ~ T. Torrest

You've always been there for me. Always. Even when I ... " V
"Even when you what?" B
"You know." V
"What?" B
"Fuck. Even when I was in love with you. Or some shit." V
Butch clasped his hands to his chest. "Was? Was? I can't believe you've lost interest." He threw one arm over his eyes, all Sarah Bernhardt. "My dreams of our future are shattered - " B
"Shut it, cop." V
Butch looked out from under his arm. "Are you kidding me? The reality show I had planned was fantastic. Was going to pitch it to VH1. Two Bites Are Better Than One. We were going to make millions ." B
"Oh, for the love. ~ J.R. Ward

I was so worried that you wouldn't want to know me once you found out." I signed, relief flooding through me.
"Are you kidding me?" Xavier reached out and curled a lock of my hair around his finger. "Surely I've got to be the luckiest guy in the world."
"How do you figure that?"
"Isn't it obvious? I've got my own little piece of Heaven right here. ~ Alexandra Adornetto

Charlie whistled "Amazing Grace" as he drove. It was all I could do not to whip my head around and snap, Are you kidding me? Couldn't he pick something more appropriate, like "Shout at the Devil" or "Don't fear the Reaper"? Some people had no sense of the proper music for a kidnapping. ~ Jeaniene Frost

One of the things I loved about Chris was his sense of humor, which seemed perfectly matched with mine, even at its most offbeat. April Fools' Day was always a major highlight. A month before our daughter was due, I woke him up in the middle of the night.
"Don't panic," I told him, "but I think I'm going into labor."
"Do we have a bag?" he asked, jumping up immediately.
"No, no, don't worry." I slipped out of bed and went to take a shower.
Chris immediately got dressed and, calmly but very quickly, gathered my clothes and packed a suitcase.
"I'm ready!" he announced, barging into the bathroom.
"Babe, do you know what day it is?" I asked sweetly. It was two A.M., April 1.
"Are you kidding me?" he said, disbelieving.
I laughed and plunged back into the shower.
He quickly got revenge by flushing the toilet, sending a burst of cold water across my body.
In retrospect, maybe I'd been a little cruel, but we did love teasing each other. At our wedding, we'd smooshed cake into each other's faces. That began a tradition that continued at each birthday--whether it was ours or not. The routine never seemed to get old. We'd giggle and laugh, chasing each other as if we were crazy people. Our friends and neighbors got used to it--and learned to stay out of the line of fire. ~ Taya Kyle

Some people actually said I fell off at Nellyville cause I didn't sell as many as Country Grammar. I'm like are you kidding me? Sweat and Suit? I broke history, I was the first rapper to have 1st and 2nd album at the same time ever on billboard. ~ Nelly

I'm Level Eighty on Warcraft."
The clerk was stunned. "You're Level Eighty?! Are you Horde, or Alliance?"
"What, are you kidding me? I'm Horde, of course! I'm a Level Eighty Undead Priestess. What Guild are you in?"
"I'm a Horde Blood Elf Paladin. Level 30. I'm in the Blood Roses Guild."
"Have you ever seen a 'Spectral Tiger' loot card? I bet you never have."
The museum clerk thought about her situation. The psychic pressure was mounting on her. She was in a state of moral anguish. "Look, Signora, I'd love to help your American clients there ... But if my director knew I was Warcrafting here at work, she'd kill me! Besides, you don't have any 'Spectral Tiger' in your purse, I bet. ~ Bruce Sterling

Kiss my lickity-split," the doper shouted. ~ Judy Byington

Are you kidding me? It's insane that civil rights are being denied people in this day and age. It's embarrassing, and it's heartbreaking. It goes without saying that I'm completely in support of gay marriage. In 10 years we'll be ashamed that this was an issue. ~ Chris Evans

I want to play James Bond - are you kidding me? I'm putting my name in the ring! ~ Orlando Bloom

Are you kidding me?' Shan asked, slightly drunk, slightly dramatic, and now sitting yoga style on the floor. 'You can't write an honest novel about race in this country. If you write about how people are really affected by race, it'll be too obvious. Black writers who do literary fiction in this country, all three of them, not the ten thousand who write those bullshit ghetto books with the bright covers, have two choices: they can do precious or they can do pretentious. When you do neither, nobody knows what to do with you. So if you're going to write about race, you have to make sure it's so lyrical and subtle that the reader who doesn't read between the lines won't even know it's about race ... ' p.335 ~ Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Every night, it's a bakery on the bus. It's a curse, because I talk about how much I love cake, people bring me cake. And now I just found out I'm diabetic, so I'm like, are you kidding me?! ~ Gabriel Iglesias

They pushed us into the fight to defund Obamacare and shut down the government. And the day before the government reopened, one of these groups said, 'Well, we never thought it would work.' Are you kidding me?! ~ John Boehner

It was awful. It was three in the morning. And I finally said, "Chip, I'm not sleeping in this house."

We were broke. We couldn't go to a hotel. There was no way we were gonna go knock on one of our parents' doors at that time of night.

That's when I got an idea. We happened to have Chip's parents' old RV parked in a vacant lot a few blocks down. We had some of our things in there and had been using it basically as a storage unit until we moved in. "Let's get in the RV. We'll go find somewhere to plug it in, and we'll have AC," I said.
As we stepped outside, the skies opened up. It started pouring rain. When we finally got into the RV, soaking wet, we pulled down the road a ways and Chip said, "I know where we can go." It was raining so hard we could barely see through the windshield, and all of a sudden Chip turned the RV into a cemetery.
"Why are you pulling in to a cemetery?" I asked him.
"We're not going to the cemetery," Chip said. "It's just next to a cemetery. There's an RV park back here."
"Are you kidding me? Could this get any worse?"
"Oh, quit it. You're going to love it once I get this AC fired up."
Chip decided to go flying through the median between the two rows of RV parking, not realizing it was set up like a culvert for drainage and rain runoff. That RV bounced so hard that, had it not been for our seat belts, we would've both been catapulted through the roof of that vehicle.
"What was that?!"
"I ~ Joanna Gaines

He smiled without his teeth. Small, shyly. I found myself smiling back. Like an impulse
Then he ruined it by saying…
"You're not like other girls, are you?"
And I activated.
Every single emotion I'd been squashing into my guts exploded like a burst appendix. I jumped off the bed and turned to him with a scowl I was sure he'd need permanent therapy to recover from.
"Are you kidding me Harry?"
"Woah Audrey. Hey, hey, hey. It's a compliment."
I felt like screaming.
"It's NOT a compliment.
I threw my arms up, any motion to get rid of the rage pulsing through me.
It's an insult to every single woman on this PLANET. Don't you DARE try and pull that shit on me.
"What shit?!" Harry was stupid enough to ask. "I was saying something nice…"
I shook my head so hard.
"No, you were saying something clichéd and UNTRUE. I AM like other girls, Harry. Don't misinterpret my hatred of romance as some kooky, laid-back, manic pixie NONSENSE. I am DAMAGED. I am not CUTE. I am emotionally-fucking-traumatised right now, okay? I am screaming on the inside. I am too angry and messed up to contain all the stuff girls spend every day containing. That's why I seem different. That is NOT sexy. ~ Holly Bourne

Are you kidding me?" he blurted out loud as Howard Stern's voice piped into his skull. "Eric the Actor is d - " Selena's brows tightened like she was considering waking up and he closed his piehole. But he couldn't believe another wack packer had been lost. It just seemed cruel in light of everything he was going through. ~ J.R. Ward

Are you kidding me? How can you even ask me that? I'm stuck in a world I have no hope of surviving, I'm forced to depend on a guy who thinks I can't be trusted, I'm being pushed into marrying a man who believes I can't talk, and I've lost everyone I've ever cared about! Why wouldn't I feel uneasy? ~ Cheryl Koevoet

Is she really old enough to have crushes on boys? I feel like she's too young for all that."
"I had crushes on boys when I was nine," I tell him. I'm still thinking about Kitty. I wonder how I can make it so she isn't mad at me anymore. Somehow I don't think snickerdoodles will cut it this time.
"Who?" Josh asks me.
"Who what?" Maybe if I can somehow convince Daddy to buy her a puppy…
"Who was your first crush?"
"Hmm. My first real crush?" I had kindergarten and first- and second-grade crushes aplenty, but they don't really count. "Like the first one that really mattered?"
"Sure."
"Well…I guess Peter Kavinsky."
Josh practically gags. "Kavinsky? Are you kidding me? He's so obvious. I thought you'd be into someone more…I don't know, subtle. Peter Kavinsky's such a cliché. He's like a cardboard cutout of a 'cool guy' in a movie about high school."
I shrug. "You asked."
"Wow," he says, shaking his head. "Just…wow."
"He used to be different. I mean, he was still very Peter, but less so." When Josh looks unconvinced, I say, "You're a boy, so you can't understand what I'm talking about."
"You're right. I don't understand!"
"Hey, you're the one who had a crush on Ms. Rothschild!"
Josh turns red. "She was really pretty back then!"
"Uh-huh." I give him a knowing look. "She was really 'pretty.'" Our across-the-street neighbor Ms. Rothschild used to mow her lawn in terry-cloth short shorts and a string bikini top. ~ Jenny Han

It's honestly every time that I'm doing something, and every time I visit a station and hear my song on the radio and people buying my stuff, I'm like 'Are you kidding me? This is insane!' ~ Jana Kramer

I was at a banquet, and I went into the ladies' room, and I'm in the stall doing my business, and a piece of paper and pen came from outside the door, and she says, 'Ms. Wagner, would you please sign this for me?' And I said, 'Are you kidding me?' ~ Lindsay Wagner

I like to work and there's no movies for actors, period, especially black actors. When white actors are like, 'Man, there's no work out there,' then black actors are like, 'Are you kidding me?' ~ Marlon Wayans

What did you get her for the wedding gift?"

"Dude, I bought her a fucking Steinway."

"Are you kidding me?"

"No, I had to. She saw it in a store and played it in the showroom. The entire staff gathered around to watch her. She kept her eyes closed and wept while she played "Isolde's Love Death" from Tristan and Isolde. She played the whole fucking thing without any sheet music. The crowd clapped and whistled. I offered to buy it on the spot; I said we could write it off, but she said absolutely not. She wouldn't let me."

"How much was it?"

"A lot."

"Dude, tell me, how much?"

"A hundred."

"A hundred what?" Tyler said in disbelief.

"A hundred fucking shillings. A hundred thousand dollars, you moron."

"You bought her a hundred-thousand-dollar piano?"

"Well, technically, Alchemy Sound Studios bought it for her, but yeah ~ Renee Carlino

The second I encounter his erection, my jaw drops.
"Oh my God, are you kidding me?"
He looks startled. "What's wrong?"
"Are you taking human growth hormones or something? I snatch my hand back, fighting another rush of nervousness. "There's no way that huge man monster is fitting inside me!"
Garrett's head abruptly drops in the crook of his arm as a shudder racks his body. At first I think he's pissed off. Or maybe even crying. It takes several seconds before I realize what's happening. He's laughing.
Scratch that – he's in hysterics. ~ Elle Kennedy

Great! Frikkin' space zombies. Are you kidding me? ~ Iain Rob Wright

Well, it's a little harder in New York. It's not as forgiving to a film crew. You hold up a bunch of New Yorkers who can't cross the street, they're not going to take it well. Southern California? They'll wait. It's cool man. In New York, they're like, 'Are you kidding me? I gotta get to work.' ~ Matthew Rhys

I stand humbled on bended knee but, of course, the response to that would be 'Duh!' And to be given that incredible honor means that I represent the piss and vinegar, the energy, the defiance, the musicality of the Funk Brothers and Motown and Mitch Ryder and Bob Seger, Brownsville Station and Grand Funk Railroad and Eminem and Jack White and Kid Rock - are you kidding me? ~ Ted Nugent

Peter, when Lara Jean's gone, will you still come visit me sometimes ?"
"Course I will."
"Even if you guys break up ?"
There's a pause. "We're not breaking up."
"But if you do ?" she presses.
"We won't."
She ignores this. "Because we never see Josh anymore, and he said he'd visit too."
Peter scoffs. "Are you kidding me ? You think I'm the same as Sanderson ? Me ? I'm a completely different league than him. I'm insulted you would even compare us."
Kitty lets out a relieved kind of laugh, the kind that sounds more like a sigh. "Yeah, you're right."
"Trust me, kid. You and I have our own thing."
I love him so much for that I could cry. He'll look after Kitty for me, I know he will. ~ Jenny Han

During that Grammy moment, when I nearly collapsed, I was thinking, Are you kidding me? I've always been really good with my heels. Even pregnant, I could perform in heels. Note to self: Never wear a train onstage. ~ Christina Aguilera

Ara. Ara, stop." He propped my body against the wall and unfastened my hands from his neck.
"Why? What's wrong?" I wiped my mouth dry with the back of my wrist. "Did I hurt you?"
"Yes, you little leech." He cupped his hand over the bite mark and pulled it away to look at it. "I may not have a heartbeat, but I still feel pain."
"You're bruising." I squinted through the dull light to see his neck.
"I know. I can feel that."
"I'm sorry."
"Are you kidding me?" He looked up at me. "Ara, that felt amazing. It hurt, but damn it was hard for me to control myself."
"Control yourself?"
"Yeah. I wanted to..." He looked down and shook his head.
"You wanted to what?" I lifted his face.
"I wanted to do...things to you."
"What kinds of...things." Excitement and fear made my heart thump. "Bad things?"
"Yes. Bad things." He reached up slowly and slipped the shoestring strap of my dress down my shoulder, then ran a delicate line of kisses along the curve of my neck, making the skin on my lower back tingle.
"That doesn't feel like bad things."
"This is not what I had in mind," he said into my shoulder. ~ Angela M. Hudson

I would respect feminist who said "Single moms, are you kidding me? Stop taking government benefits because, the government is the patriarchy. So, you are taking things from the patriarchy so you dont have to be responsible. Any woman who takes money from the government using cops who usually extract it from men by force is not a feminist. Is a exceedingly bad bride of the state." I would admire that but, of course feminism doesn't have anything to do with any of that stuff.

Look, it's fine. Have your fun. Make fun of men. Go for it. Yea, we're all idiots, we're all selfish, greedy bastards. Ok, it's fine because the government is going to run out of money soon and then all these woman are going to try to find some guy to latch onto when the benefits stop flowing and I mean, you saw this happening with the soviet union. "Now we need you! You guys are great! We missed you so much! Give me some money!"

It's just a bunch of noise from a bunch of people who are stealing from the productive. ~ Stefan Molyneux

Maddie looked up to the ceiling and said, "Dear Lord, I have finally accepted that this man is not a figment of my imagination and that he is actually real. Now, I find out he is an alien from outer space. Are you kidding me? ~ A.M. Hargrove

If Brock Lesnar was here right now, I'd take my boot off and throw it at him, and he'd better polish it up before he brings it back to me. Talking about he's the baddest guy in the UFC? Brock, quit eating so many raw eggs and doing push-ups because it's affecting your realm of reality. Are you kidding me? I'd slap you in your face, and you wouldn't do anything. 'I'm Brock Lesnar. I've got this $5 haircut and a knife tattooed on my chest.' I'll shove it up your face if you get in Chael Sonnen's way. ~ Chael Sonnen

Bird, hesitating, recalled a line from the English textbook he was reading with his students; a young American was speaking angrily: Are you kidding me? Are you looking for a fight? ~ Kenzaburo Oe

She'd rather make love to him then watch any movie. "We don't have to. Did I do something wrong?"
That made him turn to her. "Of course not."
"Oh. Then don't you want to ... " She trailed off, a blush rising.
"Are you kidding me? More than anything." His expression softened. "But, Maira, I don't want to rush you, make you do something you aren't ready for."
She stared at him. He was so pretty. Was he also stone-cold stupid?
How could he think she wasn't ready for it? She'd already thrown herself at him. Twice now, if he counted the kitchen disaster. ~ Alisha Rai

When I was asked if I wanted to perform on the Grand Ole Opry, I yelled, 'Are you kidding me?' I've been waiting for that my whole life. To be invited where so many of the greatest country artists have performed is an honor, and I still can't believe it has been bestowed on me. Just to stand in the circle where so many greats have stood-Hank Williams, Kitty Wells, I just couldn't believe it. ~ Darius Rucker

That person fearing for his life went to the beer section, which again is admirable, beer is the nectar of the gods. Then grabs Keystone Light? Are you kidding me? I'd rather eat the can than drink those contents. ~ Mark Tufo

The things that scare me are real life situations. Real life is much more scary than anything you can put on the movie screen. Which is why I get very upset when people try to blame the movies for the violence in this world. I'm like 'Are you kidding me?'. There is more violence in a four hour period on CNN than any movie I have in my massive collection. ~ Corey Taylor

Where are you supposed to stay?" He ground out ...
"Hendrix, are you kidding me?"
"By me, Reagan. Always, by me," he answered, ignoring my sarcasm. ~ Rachel Higginson

Bree grit her teeth and lunged for him but Brian held her back and Will spoke up instead. "You go away!" Will cried back angrily. "I know you did sumting dat made my mommy mad at my daddy. Is you fault!" "I suggest you put a muzzle on your brat and get back in the living room," Bernardo ordered. "Careful, Father. This is none of your concern," Alessandro said. "Are you kidding me?" Bree asked. "Of course this is his concern because he's the only one you give a damn about. You'll do anything for him. Absolutely anything even if it means betraying me or Will or God forbid Gianni." "That is not true. I would never - " "It is true!" Bree yelled. "Everything you've done has proven that." "Look, every marriage has problems and that is no reason to turn back on the vows you made to each other," Bernardo pointed out. "You made a promise to honor the terms of the O'Reiley/Dardano vendetta. Be careful before you renege on those vows, Mrs. Dardano." "You and your stupid vendetta!" Bree hissed. "Begun by a man who couldn't handle the fact that he couldn't have what he wanted! God it must be genetic. Well, I guess I shouldn't blame you, Alessandro. Knowing Bernardo and Adriano, at least you come by it honestly. ~ E. Jamie

I remember, my first bicycle was very much a used bike. I wasn't going to Wal-Mart, buying a flashy 10-speed bike from China. Are you kidding me? ~ Charles Schwab

I was listening to this Adele song, where she's like, "When we were young ... " I was like, "You're 27. Are you kidding me? ~ Jake Gyllenhaal

The Grand Canyon ... " Jason recalled that day on the Skywalk, when one of his jerk classmates turned out to be a wind spirit. "Dylan? Are you kidding me? I'm breathing Dylan?" "Yes," Kym said. "That seems to be his name." Jason shuddered. "I'll let him go as soon as I reach the surface. No worries." "Farewell, then," said the goddess. "And may the Fates smile upon you ... assuming the Fates survive. ~ Rick Riordan

The national anthem blows. Are you kidding me? Do any of you have it on your iPod? ~ Daniel Tosh

Why would you go on a pirate dinner cruise?" He had to know.

Her jaw dropped. "Are you kidding me? Why wouldn't you go on a pirate dinner cruise? There's pirates and dinner. And you get to say 'argh' and 'matey' while drinking lots of rum without anyone looking at you funny." Her breath caught. "Maybe one of them will even have a real parrot!"

Perhaps he'd overestimated her - just a little. ~ Elle Rush

I talk to people who are musicians, and they go, Oh this is hell. And I go, Are you kidding me? You never put tar paper on a roof, did ya? ~ Chris Isaak

I hurried to the end of the Iron Wing and opened the door.
Where I found myself face-to-face with Anne-Whatever-Whatever herself.
I pulled my hand back to punch her. "What are you - " she started, when her eyes went wide and she collapsed on the ground, revealing Tasey in the hands of a teen boy with blond curls, blue eyes, dimples, and the most impish smile I'd ever seen.
"Hey-oh, did you miss me?" Jack asked.
Since my hand was already pulled back, I went ahead and punched Jack.
"Bloody - What was that for?" he asked, hand over his nose.
I stepped past the unconscious body of Anne-Whatever-Whatever lying on the white tile floor and snatched Tasey from the blond nightmare. "Are you kidding me? The last time I saw you, you left me for read."
"Well, yeah, there was that. But I thought rescuing you from IPCA might make up for it a bit."
"I'm in the middle of rescuing myself," I snapped.
"And how were you planning on getting past her?" He nudged the prone body with a none-too-gentle foot.
"Improvising."
"And once you were past her, you were going to get out of here . . . how?"
"Shut up!" I turned and tried to stomp down the hall, then cringed in pain from my ankle. Okay, no dramatic stomping. I opted for emphatic limping instead, which unfortunately allowed Jack to catch up quite quickly. ~ Kiersten White

Stop,' he grumbled, 'or you'll get a spanking instead of an apology.'

'Are you kidding me? Thanks to you I almost OD'd on orgasms. ~ C.C. Gibbs

Andrew interrupts. "You're letting her drive your car? Are you kidding me? You've never even let me sit behind the damn wheel!" I look over at Andrew and shrug. "You aren't the one I'm in love with. ~ Colleen Hoover

Grandpa Portman really knew how to keep a secret, didn't he?""Are you kidding? The man was an emotional Fort Knox. ~ Ransom Riggs

I've always believed in the goodness of people. I teach in prison. They all said, don't do it. Carry a gun, take Mace. Are you kidding? I guess, they're around so many criminal elements that they fear for. ~ John Waters

My mind blurs to a ripple of pleasure when his soft, full lips at last make contact with mine. He starts to deepen the kiss, but pauses, intent on the glass behind me. "You gotta be kidding."
I glance over my shoulder. Outside, Morpheus hangs on the glass in moth form, level with my head, glaring at us with his bulbous gaze. Even without a face, his smugness is apparent. His favorite pastime is interrupting Jeb's romantic moments. I try not to laugh, but can't help myself.
"Cocky son of a bug." Jeb sets me on the floor and draws the dropcloth tighter around me.
A barn owl swoops from the sky and skims the glass. Morpheus launches off in a tizzy, trying to outrun the bird. Now Jeb's the one laughing.
I slap his shoulder. "Hey, that's not funny."
"Ah, he'll be okay." Jeb raises an eyebrow, watching the aerial pursuit taking place outside the glass. "It's a new genus of vegetarian owls. They're only in it for the chase. Besides, Morphie-boy can change to his other form anytime he wants." ~ A.G. Howard

A three-way?" Garrett asked. "You're kidding, right?"
"Ménage à trois," Jack said. "Don't knock it 'til you've tried it."
Britt turned to face them, her hand still on the doorknob. This conversation was starting to get interesting. The two men faced off like snorting bulls, ignoring her.
"We do her one at a time," Garrett said, "and I get her first. When the hell did you do a three-way?" He raised two fingers. "Follow-up question - two girls or two guys?"
Jack raised one finger. "College. Duh." Another finger. "Two girls. It was awesome."
"Well, I'm not doing a two-guy three-way," Garrett said. "No way."
Britt spoke up. "Afraid it'll turn you on?"
"The hell kinda question is that?" Garrett said. "I'm a hundred percent straight."
"Because you didn't seem like a guy who's insecure about his sexuality," she said. "You know, when we met at the club."
"Do not try to play me with that 'insecure' crap," Garrett said. ~ Pam McKenna, Faking It

I need my warriors whole. You made each other bleed." I ignored Ren's bewildered expression. "Now undo the damage."
"You've got to be kidding me." Shay grimaced.
"I can't begin to tell you how much I'm not kidding." I stepped back, folding my arms over my chest. "Until I choose a mate, I'm the only alpha here; I've made it clear that I'm not making a choice right now. You two answer to me. Prove your loyalty. Heal each other. ~ Andrea Cremer

Back inside, his fire was crackling away. "okay." he actually rubbed his hands together. "Action." In two minutes, he'd pulled cushions and a couple throws from the two sofas and made a sort of nest in front of the fire. Then he grabbed his backpack. "Refreshments."
I half expected to see a bottle of wine or someting similar. Instead, he pulled out a thermos.Followed by a bag of marshmellows, a box of graham crackers, and, absolutely, enough Hershey's chocolate bars to feed a small army.
"S'mores!" I said happily.
"And cocoa.Sit." He waited until I was in the middle of the nest, then disappeared through a doorway. I heard a few squeaks and rattles. When he came back,he was carrying a tray, loaded with mugs,napkins, and real, three-pointed skewers.
"You're kidding," I teased when he handed me one. "You actually own s'mores implements."
"Roast,then laugh. ~ Melissa Jensen

Career mothers are not kidding anybody. Being a mom is the hardest job of all. You got to work to rest. ~ Sandy Duncan

That's quite a pile," he said. "I suppose you want me to spin it into gold."
"Well, the situation has changed just a bit," said the miller's daughter (who also had a name--it was Meredith). "If you don't, I will die. If you do, I marry the king."
Now that, thought Rumpelstiltskin, has possibilities. After all, getting to be the queen was a big step up for a miller's daughter. She would surely pay him anything. And there was only one thing in the world he really wanted--a little child to love and care for.
"Okay, here's the deal," he said. "I will spin the straw into gold, just like before. In return, once you become queen, you must let me adopt your firstborn child. I promise I'll be an excellent father. I know all the lullabies. I'll read to the child every day. I'll even coach Little League."
"You've got to be kidding," Meredith said. "I'd rather marry you than that jerk!"
"Really?" said Rumpelstiltskin, and he blushed all the way from the top of his head to the tip of his toes (which admittedly wasn't very far, because he was so short).
"Sure," she said. "I like your ideas on parenting, you'd make a good provider, and I have a weakness for short men. ~ Diane Stanley

You wanted me to get a job. Well, that's their job-screening. I kill him, or he kills me. Winner gets the job. (Steele)
You're kidding. (Syd)
Absolutely. I'm not the least bit serious. All of this is one big hallucination. And I'm not sitting over here bleeding to death. But hey, since it's a hallucination, could you please make my arm stop throbbing because right now it hurts like hell. (Steele) ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

Homer looked back at me. 'Pete, can I tell ya somethin' real important?'

'Sure, what is it?' I couldn't imagine what Homer was about to say.

He sat down on a rounded rock. I sat down too.

'One thing I've learned is that ya never know what's gonna happen to ya in this old life. Everything can change, just like that.' He snapped his fingers, loud and fast. 'You never know what might happen to ya and that dawg ah yers. Ya know what you should do? You ought to settle down here ... On my mountain.' His words were coming quickly and eagerly. 'I'll teach ya all the ways of livin' up here, and someday when ya get a place built, you can have yerself a family.'

Homer wasn't kidding me.

'And, besides, ya know I ain't gonna be here forever. When I leave, then you can take care of this place for me. You understand more than anyone why I love this place so much. I know ya wouldn't let them lumbermen and hunters come up here and hurt my place.'

There was a shell around Homer and reaching his heart was like breaking a granite boulder with your bare hands. But now, Homer's heart was breaking. After he finished he turned away from me. When he turned back, his questioning eyes were teary.

'Homer, what you just said was beautiful.' I looked down at my boots and rolled a rock back and forth under my heel. 'But, I don't know. I'll have to give it some serious thought, okay?'

As quickly as Homer had broken his s ~ Peter Jenkins

So, what do you think? Better than four years with Byron?"

"Are you kidding?" I kept a straight face. "Those were the best days of life. ~ Rachel E. Carter

So what do your parents do?"
"Think up creative ways to kill each other." Vane cringed as that flew out of his mouth. He was so used to saying it that he didn't think about it until he'd heard himself say it.
"No, really."
Vane looked away uncomfortably. Bride's jaw went slack as she realized he wasn't kidding. "Why would they do that?"
Vane actually squirmed a bit before he answered. "It's a long story. My mother ran off not long after I was born and my father wants me dead, so here I am with you."
She didn't know what to think of that. "This um this family insanity, it's not hereditary, is it?"
"It doesn't appear to be," he said seriously. "But if it creeps up on me, feel free to shoot me. ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

Hey police? I just saw the world's oldest, slowest kid climbing into Pleasantview Cemetery. Looked like he was dying to get in. Yeah, looked like a grave matter to me. Kidding? Oh no, I'm in dead earnest. Maybe you ought to dig into it. ~ Stephen King

Are you kidding? This is crazy, man. I thought I was Mr. Pre-Televised awards. ~ TobyMac

There is no promise of love and light or visions of any kind - no angels, no devils. Nothing happens: it is absolutely boring. Sometimes you feel silly. One often asks the question, "Who is kidding whom? Am I on to something or not?" You are not on to something. Traveling the path means you get off everything, there is no place to perch. Sit and feel your breath, be with it. ~ Chogyam Trungpa

Honey, I've watched a lot of 90210. The parents weren't even on the show once Brandon and Brenda went to college. This is your time - you're supposed to going to frat parties and getting back together with Dylan."
"Why does everybody want me to go to frat parties?"
"Who wants you to go to frat parties? I was just kidding. Don't hang out with frat guys, Cath, they're terrible. All they do is get drunk and watch 90210. ~ Rainbow Rowell

I needed to be brought into the loop about who's hot and who's not, when I moved here. You know how it is," he added. "Social status and all that."
And then I was deflated, because I understood what he meant.
"Yes, I'm sure they were happy to fill you in that I'm part of the 'who's not' category. In fact, I'd imagine I'm probably on the top of that list."
He lifted an eyebrow in question, and I noticed the colour of his eyes again for the second time today. "You're kidding, right? I don't think any guy has you on his 'who's not' list."
"Then please, enlighten me as to which lucky category I've fallen into. It's always nice to be sorted like inanimate objects. ~ Lacey Weatherford

Olly: jesus. is there a girl on this planet who doesn't love mr.darcy
Madeline: All girls love Mr. Darcy?
Olly: are you kidding? even my sister loves darcy and she doesn't love anybody
Madeline: She must love somebody. I'm sure she loves you
Olly: what's so great about darcy?
Madeline: That's not a serious question
Olly: he's a snob
Madeline: But he overcomes it and eventually realizes that character matters more than class! He's a man open to learning life's lessons! Also, he's completely gorgeous and noble and brooding and poetic. Did I mention gorgeous? Also, he loves Elizabeth beyond all reason. ~ Nicola Yoon

Sometimes you say things with a smile with the precise intention of making it clear that you are not being serious, and are only kidding. If I salute a friend with a smile and say, 'How are you, you old scoundrel!' clearly I don't really mean he's a scoundrel. ~ Umberto Eco

So when I hear this snarky question (and I hear it everywhere): Are librarians obsolete in the Age of Google? all I can say is, are you kidding? Librarians are more important than ever. Google and Yahoo! and Bing and WolframAlpha can help you find answers to your questions, sometimes brilliantly; but if you don't know how to phrase those questions, no search engine can help provide the answers. ~ Marilyn Johnson

Who are you anyway? What are you even doing here?"
"Haven," she said quietly, peeking at him.
He gazed at her peculiarly. "Heaven? No, this definitely isn't Heaven. But I get why you're confused, since I'm standing in front of you." She stared at him, and he
cracked a smile. "I'm kidding. Well, kinda ... I have been told I've taken a girl to Heaven a time or two."
"Haven, not Heaven," she said, louder than before. Nothing about the conversation made sense to her. "My name's Haven. ~ J.M. Darhower

We should've looked before," Vera says, her voice soft. "We could've saved you the trouble."

"Are you kidding? The trouble was the best part. ~ Emma Mills

I thought I'd go home and reread Sue Grafton. It's been a while since I last read the one about the topless dancer who gets poison injected into one of her implants."
"'D' Is For Cup."
"Right. Bern, you know what I wish? I wish she didn't have to stop at twenty-six. When the alphabet's used up, what happens to Kinsey?"
"Are you kidding? She goes straight into doublé letters. 'AA' Is For drunks, 'BB' Is For Gun, 'CC' Is For Rider. There was a whole list in Publishers Weekly a few months back. 'PP' Is For Golden Showers, 'ZZ' Is For Topp- I can't remember them all, but it looks as though she can go on forever."
"Bern, that's wonderful news."
"You'll be reading about Kinsey fifty years from now," I told her. "'AAA' Is for Motorists, 'MMM' Is for Scotch Tape. You'll never have to stop. ~ Lawrence Block

Tell me you're kidding."

He grinned. "I'm not. It's the truth."

"Shit."

"Hey, you got any money?"

I shook my head. How did the guy on a soldier's paycheck become the one with the money? I dug around in my pocket, finding three dollars for him, then watched him fight with the vending machine over how flat the bills needed to be. ~ Veronica Rossi

Don't go all mushy on me," I warn him, half-kidding. "Baby," he says, kissing my chin and pressing his weight on me. "Have you felt how hard I am? There ain't a mushy bone in me. ~ Karina Halle

And so we know the satisfaction of hate. We know the sweet joy of revenge. How it feels good to get even. Oh, that was a nice idea Jesus had. That was a pretty notion, but you can't love people who do evil. It's neither sensible or practical. It's not wise to the world to love people who do such terrible wrong. There is no way on earth we can love our enemies. They'll only do wickedness and hatefulness again. And worse, they'll think they can get away with this wickedness and evil, because they'll think we're weak and afraid. What would the world come to?

But I want to say to you here on this hot July morning in Holt, what if Jesus wasn't kidding? What if he wasn't talking about some never-never land? What if he really did mean what he said two thousand years ago? What if he was thoroughly wise to the world and knew firsthand cruelty and wickedness and evil and hate? Knew it all so well from personal firsthand experience? And what if in spite of all that he knew, he still said love your enemies? Turn your cheek. Pray for those who misuse you. What if he meant every word of what he said? What then would the world come to?

And what if we tried it? What if we said to our enemies: We are the most powerful nation on earth. We can destroy you. We can kill your children. We can make ruins of your cities and villages and when we're finished you won't even know how to look for the places where they used to be. We have the power to take away your water and to scor ~ Kent Haruf

But..." I'm not ready for you to stop being my problem.

"It makes more sense, Park. If you leave soon, you can still get home by dark.:

"But if I leave soon..." His voice dropped. "I leave soon."

"We have to say good-bye anyway." she said. "Does it matter if it's now or a few hours from now or tomorrow morning?"

"Are you kidding?" he looked down at her, hoping he'd miss his turn. "Yes. ~ Rainbow Rowell

And Sanderson?" "Are you kidding? I bet his girlfriend is a dominatrix or something." "Or his boyfriend." "No, he's so not cool enough to be gay." She was very funny. ~ Mary Calmes

There's a company that wants to put hair on me! I don't know if it's plugs, I'm sure it is. I laughed and said, 'You gotta be kidding.' ~ Terry Bradshaw

She saw Derek and without so much as a hello, leaned to look behind him. "Where's Simon?"
"He's - "
"Is he okay? Why isn't he here?" She glared up at Derek. "Where'd you leave him?"
"Passed out in an alley." Derek frowned in thought. "Not sure where, though ... "
"He's kidding," I said as Tori sputtered.
"We need to get moving." Derek hooked a thumb as Tori while looking at me. " She's your responsibility."
"Excuse me?" Tori said.
Derek didn't even glance her way. "Make sure she keeps up. And shuts up." ~ Kelley Armstrong

Once upon a time, I believe it was a Tuesday when I caught your eye, we got onto something, I hold on to the night. You looked me in the eye and told me you loved me. Were you just kidding, cuz it seems to me, this thing is breaking down we almost never speak. I don't feel welcome anymore. Baby what happened please tell me cuz one second is perfect now you're halfway out the door.
And I stood at the phone, you still haven't called. And you feel so below you, can't feel nothing at all. And I flashback to when he said forever & always. ~ Taylor Swift