Angelas Ashes Humor Quotes

My very first acting job was with Alan Parker on' Angela's Ashes,' but as a child, I had written to so many other productions just applying for any role. I always wanted to be an actress, and I did loads of acting summer schools. ~ Kerry Condon

Ryan held a strawberry milkshake in one hand, his father's ashes in the other--and hoped like hell he didn't get them mixed up. ~ Tina Vaughn

He looked back at her, and when she saw the look on his face, she saw his eyes at Renwick's, when he had watched the Portal that separated him from his home shatter into a thousand irretrievable pieces. He held her gaze for a split second, then looked away from her, the muscles in his throat working. ~ Cassandra Clare

I love memoirs and biographies, learning about other people's lives. Two of the ones that I loved so much were actually edited by the same person who edited my book, too. I loved 'Angela's Ashes.' I loved 'Glass Castle' so much. ~ Isabel Gillies

They think my mother's ashes are marijuana. ~ Graham Greene

You can't reinvent yourself using spare parts ...
Barry Randall from My Father's Ashes ~ Bruce Jenvey

Thor nodded with enthusiasm, not entirely certain how he (Kvasir) had come to this conclusion from the ashes on the floor but happy to know where Loki was hiding. ~ Neil Gaiman

Enormous? Did you just call me FAT? I am not fat. - Jace ~ Cassandra Clare

Mom. I have something to tell you. I'm undead. Now, I know you may have some preconceived notions about the undead. I know you may not be comfortable with the idea of me being undead. But I'm here to tell you that undead are just like you and me ... well, okay. Possibly more like me than you. ~ Cassandra Clare

Look on the bright side," said Simon, "If they need a human sacrifice, you can always offer me. I'm not sure the rest of you qualify anyway. ~ Cassandra Clare

I was a cub reporter on a local newspaper in Limerick city, and I used to cover the district court meetings. All of life passed through the Limerick courthouse. Misery, malevolence, the dark side of humanity ... I tell ya, it made 'Angela's Ashes' look like 'The Wonderful World of Disney.' ~ Kevin Barry

Dios," he said, addressing himself to Jace. "What happened to you, brother? You look as if a pack of wolves tried to tear you apart."
"That's either a shockingly good guess," said Jace, "or you heard about what happened. ~ Cassandra Clare

Well, I'm not kissing the mundane," said Jace. "I'd rather stay down here and rot."
"Forever?" said Simon. "Forever's an awfully long time."
Jace raised his eyebrows. "I knew it," he said. "You want to kiss me, don't you? ~ Cassandra Clare

Watching Jace hug Isabelle, she tried to school her features into a happy and loving expression.
"Are you all right?" Simon asked, with some concern. "Your eyes are crossing. ~ Cassandra Clare

There's no need to clarify my finger snap," said Magnus. "The implication was clear in the snap itself. ~ Cassandra Clare

He threw his hands to his eyes and hissed. Like the hiss of incinerating ashes. 'What is this bright, orange orb in the sky that mocks me with its warmth? ~ Jesikah Sundin

Dear patient (first name, last name)! You are presently located in our experimental state hospital. The measures taken to save your life were drastic, extremely drastic (circle one). Our finest surgeons, availing themselves of the very latest achievements of modern medicine, performed one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten operations (circle one) on you. They were forced, acting wholly in your interest to replace certain parts of your organism with parts obtained from other persons, in strict accordance with Federal Law (Rev. Stat. Comm. 1-989/0-001/89/1). The notice you are now reading was thoughtfully prepared in order to help you make the best possible adjustment to these new if somewhat unexpected circumstances in your life, which, we hasten to remind you, we have saved. Although it was found necessary to remove your arms, legs, spine, skill, lungs, stomach, kidneys, liver, other (circle one or more), rest assured that these mortal remains were disposed of in a manner fully in keeping with the dictates of your religion; they were, with the proper ritual, interred, embalmed, mummified, buried at sea, cremated with the ashes scattered in the wind - preserved in an urn - thrown in the garbage (circle one). The new form in which you will henceforth lead a happy and healthy existence may possibly occasion you some surprise, but we promise that in time you will become, as indeed all our dear patients do, quite accustomed to it We have supplemented your organi ~ Stanisław Lem

You can't slit the throat of everyone whose character it would improve. ~ Al Swearengen

Little Red Riding Hood got what she deserved. You don't go walking in the woods alone if you want to avoid wolves."
I was about to say something in response, but Nicky Ballard did it for me. "You could say that about the wolf, too. If you go around attacking defenseless girls, you can expect payback. ~ Carol Goodman

I do have to say that I think that President Obama is the greatest President in the history of all of our Presidents, and that he can do no wrong in my book. So how's that for prejudice on the Democratic side? ~ Denis Leary

Junction nineteen! Una, she came off at Junction nineteen! You've added an hour to your journey before you even started. Come on, let's get you a drink. How's your love life, anyway?"
Oh GOD. Why can't married people understand that this is no longer a polite question to ask? We wouldn't rush up to THEM and roar, "How's your marriage going? Still having sex?" Everyone knows that dating in your thirties is not the happy-go-lucky free-for-it-all it was when you were twenty-two and that the honest answer is more likely to be, "Actually, last night my married lover appeared wearing suspenders and a darling little Angora crop-top, told me he was gay/a sex addict/a narcotic addict/a commitment phobic and beat me up with a dildo," than, "Super, thanks. ~ Helen Fielding

I pulled out my cell, flipped it opened and said Hank's name into the phone. It rang twice. "You okay?" he asked in greeting. "My life began when I met you," I told him. There was a beat of silence. Then, I heard him say, "Sunshine – ~ Kristen Ashley

Such was the number of the barbarians, that when they shot forth their arrows the sun would be darkened by their multitude." Dieneces, not at all frightened at these words, but making light of the Median numbers, answered "Our Trachinian friend brings us excellent tidings. If the Medes darken the sun, we shall have our fight in the shade. ~ Herodotus

Well, listen, I want to talk to Rynald a bit more-"
"About astronomy? Maybe he'll show you his telescope, ~ Rachel Hartman

I go on the presumption that everyone's full of shit until proven otherwise, and this usually serves me in good stead. ~ Dennis Lehane

I swallowed hard, a hot flush blazing a trail across my skin. Reminded me of that old television show, Bonanza. You know, the one with the burning map and the lively western tune? Yeah, my skin was that map, but the song blaring in my head leaned more toward a "bow-chick-a-wow-wow" sound than anything else. Hormone overload! ~ Lisa Sanchez

Rats have a sense of humor. Rats, in fact think the world is very funny. And they are right, dear reader. They are right. ~ Kate DiCamillo

If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up. ~ Woody Allen

I don't hate you, you're just the most annoying person in my life. ~ Rebecca Sparrow

Can't we make a blusterer ourselves? asked Jón Hreggviðsson. Can't we scratch that damned sign with the ax-point onto the chopping block and get a beautiful, chubby woman in here tonight, right now-or preferably three? It was no easy matter to create such a sign, because in order to do so the two men required much greater access to the animal kingdom and the forces of nature than conditions in the dungeon permitted. The sign of the Blusterer is inscribed with a raven's gall on the rust-brown inner side of a bitch's skin, and afterward blood is sprinkled over the skin - blood from a black tomcat whose neck has been cut under a full moon by an unspoiled maiden. Where'd you find an unspoiled maiden to cut a black tomcat's neck asked Jón Hreggviðsson. ~ Halldor Laxness

I would hate to see the state of my house if I had displeased Amelia under my roof. The servents would revolt. No doubt I'd have gruel for dinner, holes in my shirts, and the most foul-smelling tallow candles they could find. ~ Kristi Ann Hunter

The Nazis have no sense of humor, so why should they want television? Anyhow, they killed most of the really great comedians. Because most of them were Jewish. In fact, she realized, they killed off most of the entertainment field. I wonder how Hope gets away with what he says. Of course, he has to broadcast from Canada. And it's a little freer up there. But Hope really says things. Like the joke about Goring . . . the one where Goring buys Rome and has it shipped to his mountain retreat and then set up again. And revives Christianity so his pet lions will have something to - ~ Philip K. Dick

What I've lost in years I've gained in wisdom. Bullshit, I haven't learnt one thing in the last 15 years that hasn't just depressed me more. ~ Doug Stanhope

She washed he hands,then looked at my side. "you haven't even had it stitched?" She said incredulously.
"I've been rather busy," I said. "With the running like hell and hiding all night. ~ Patrick Rothfuss

. I'll find you something. Something that says Herondale."
"I could slay with my deadly sense of humor and wicked charm," said Kit.
"Now that says Herondale." Jace looked pleased. ~ Cassandra Clare

Let me not be sentimental, let the distance in time give me humor and irony and a shrewd, if loving, eye. ~ Sylvia Plath

No, dude. I told you, we're not crazy. ~ Natasha Larry

The demon blood inside me burned my soul to ashes long ago.
I am a monster who once dreamed he was a man. Never mistake
me again. ~ Carol Oates

So I went down the local supermarket, I said "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it", he said "Those are pickled onions". ~ Tim Vine

I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them. ~ Woody Allen

Democratic politicians have disliked things I've written, Republican politicians ... if they all love you, you might as well be driving a Good Humor truck. ~ Adam Clymer

Phones ringing in the middle
of the night always sound harsh and grating, like some savage metal tool out to
destroy the world. I felt it was my duty, as a member of the human race, to put a
stop to it ~ Haruki Murakami

Let's see... "Advanced Flanking Theory", by U.R. Skrood. "Fighting on the Grid", by Minnie Churse. "Moving on Diagonals", by Wun and Ahaff. Ah ha! Here it is: "Attacks of Opportunity Explained", by Ben Dover and Taye Kitt. ~ Rich Burlew