Amar Quotes

You have to trust me, my love. There has only been you. I know who you are. You are my queen. You always have been."
I couldn't look at him, but I could feel his gaze on me. So pained and tender that I fought the need to run to him, to comfort him. But I couldn't push out the image of the woman in the glass garden. I couldn't forget Gauri's necklace encrusted with blood. I couldn't forget how he had hinted at some latent power within me, and yet I couldn't move a single thread on the tapestry.
I couldn't forget his lies.
"Go near that tree and I will lose you forever," he said fiercely. "Your memories won't keep. Your powers will be gone." Amar staggered toward me, and this time, I couldn't help but look at him. His eyes held mine in a firm, unyielding gaze. "Jaani, I put too much of myself and my own memories into the tree. ~ Roshani Chokshi

At MIT, I had the good fortune for seven years to teach network theory, which is basic to many disciplines, to one-third of the undergraduate student body. It was an experiment to see how high we could bring their level of understanding, and it exceeded all of my expectations. ~ Amar Bose

Everything is a matter of interpretation. And that is how you will rule," he said, before handing the sword's hilt to me. "Think on what you've seen today. But do not let me influence you. Your will is yours alone."
I stared at the sword in my hand, still gleaming despite the dark. "I can promise you I won't forget."
Amar paused, his voice soft. "Memory is a riddled thing. I would caution you from making promises you cannot keep."
I moved toward the door, but Amar stopped me with a shake of his head. "Gupta will arrive in a moment to escort you." He straightened the cuffs of his sherwani jacket. "I myself have a number of duties to attend to, so I must leave."
Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Why?"
He paused and took a step to me. Darkness, soft-edged and heavy, clung to the room. In the shadows, his smile held all the lazy grace of a cat.
"Would you miss me?"
"Curiosity inspired my question. Nothing more," I said, but even my voice was unconvinced.
"Even so, there's no greater temptation than to stay by your side."
The door swung open and a chorus of voices trickled into the room--silvery and indistinct, like whispers released through clenched teeth. Amar lingered for a moment, his lips tight as though he wanted to say something.
Then, he cupped his palms together and blew into them. When he opened his hands, a bloom of light shaped like an unopened flower bud lifted off his palm and floated into the room. Brightne ~ Roshani Chokshi

Amar was made conscious in an instant of a presence in the air, something which had been there all the time, but which he had never isolated and identified. The thing was in him, he was a part of it, as was the man opposite him, and it was a part of them; it whispered to them that time was short, that the world they lived in was approaching its end, and beyond was unfathomable darkness. It was the premonition of inevitable defeat and annihilation, and it had always been there with them and in them, as intangible and as real as the night around them. Amar pulled two loose cigarettes out of his pocket and handed one to the potter. "Ah, the Moslems, the Moslems!" he sighed. "Who knows what's going to happen to them? ~ Paul Bowles

The proof comes after belief, not before. ~ Amar Ochani

Quickly, I slid into the rifts between stars. I imagined the space as a sphere bedizened with little astral ornaments, and soon those heavy celestial bodies became small as candies held in one's palms. The thread easily looped them together.
I grinned, turning to Amar. Between us was a sphere thick with stars and around us twined soft shadows like cats weaving between ankles.
"Magnificent," he said.
His gaze was full of awe, but I saw something else in his eyes. Longing. Then, he reached into the sphere, drawing out the string with the three stars. He twisted them between his hands, fashioning a constellation no larger than a sparrow. Amar stepped forward, sliding the stars above my ear. It cast a glow that turned his face silvery and beautiful.
"There, my queen," he said. "A constellation to wear in your hair. ~ Roshani Chokshi

But in reality, with Mr. Ellison there is an essence of probity about him; unlike Dorian Grey, him and his hidden portrait are both wonderful. When he speaks there is a certain intonation he gets that reveals so much about him, that you can't help but to feel rapt, and so few get to hear his unspoken thought because they are fixated on the bling and the big show. ~ Avra Amar Filion

This was the same hair that Amar had cut a length of and wrapped a bracelet from its strands, slid it onto his wrist and proclaimed it the finest piece of jewelry he had known. ~ Roshani Chokshi

We did experiments with the Boston Symphony for many years where we measured the angles of incidence of sound arriving at the ears of the audience, then took the measurements back to MIT and analyzed them. ~ Amar Bose

Betrayal felt bitter and acrid in my throat, and the ghost of it was everywhere, taunting my reflection. How could he do this to me? How could he doubt me so much to expose me to the ridicule and glances of the celestial world? All this time, Amar said nothing. Our bed became a cold thing and my heart froze with it. ~ Roshani Chokshi

A soldier's hand grasped for me, but Amar pulled me away. Arrows zoomed past, but each time one came near, he would whirl me out of the way. Amar never shouted. He didn't even speak. He moved fluidly, dodging javelins, always a few steps behind me, a living shield. His hood never budged and revealed nothing more than the bottom half of his face. ~ Roshani Chokshi

We learned the value of research in World War II. ~ Amar Bose

They are not said to be husband and wife, who merely sit together. Rather they alone are called husband and wife, who have one soul in two bodies. ~ Guru Amar Das

When you love life passionately, a cloud of beauty floats above, adding an array of wonders to even the worse of days. ~ Avra Amar Filion

In the school they teach you what the world means, and once you have learned, you will always know," Amar's father had told him.
"But suppose the world changes?" Amar had thought. "Then what would you know? ~ Paul Bowles

I saw…

…Amar slumped onto his throne, refusing to look at the empty seat on his left. Gupta was at his side, his face pinched, skin sallow.
"Go over every birth record, every horoscope until we find her again. I want--" He stopped, jaw tightening. "I need her back. I made a mistake."
"How will I know it's her?"
"The stars will not lie," said Amar. "A girl partnered with Death, a marriage that puts her on the brink of destruction and peace, horror and happiness, dark and light. Find her."
"But even if you bring her back, how will she know--"
"I have taken care of that," he said sharply.
In his hand was a small branch and a fledgling candle. "I have preserved every memory in the heart of Naraka."
"A fitting place," said Gupta in a small voice, but he frowned. "But then what? Mortals cannot receive such divine information. It destroys them. Not even you can break those sacred boundaries."
"There is a way," said Amar, breathing deeply. "I cannot tell them to a mortal. But if she becomes immortal…"
"Ah…clever," said Gupta. "The Otherworld may stop you from divulging those secrets, but a mortal that does not pass through the halls of the dead would eventually be deathless."
Amar nodded. "Sixty turns of the moon. A handful of weeks in our halls. And then I can reveal the memories of her past life. Her powers will be restored. She will be a queen once more. But until then, she needs protection. Nritti will no doubt try to f ~ Roshani Chokshi

I'm forming a charitable institution for education. ~ Amar Bose

I saw Amar. Perched on a towering throne of thorns. There was no compassion in his eyes. Only steel. But there was also a blank look to his expression, as though he couldn't quite remember how he'd gotten there or what he was supposed to do next. Images rustled beneath my skin, lighting up behind my eyes. I saw us along the ocean at the edge of the world, his hands twisting the black curls of my hair. I saw him standing near the shore, smiling as he placed a wreath of rosemary and honey myrtle around my head like a crown. I saw our fingers interlace, felt the roughness of his hands against my own and heard him speak my name like a prayer. ~ Roshani Chokshi

I hope that the institution will succeed in maximizing students' potential in the same way. I will give all of my stock to this institution. It will own the Bose Corporation and be funded by the Bose Corporation. ~ Amar Bose

And, more than anything, I began to recognize a little of that woman from the memory. The woman who had pruned a crystal rose in a garden of glass. The woman whom Amar had looked at, as though she held the universe in her gaze, as if galaxies lined her smile, as though she were myths and love and song contained in one body. ~ Roshani Chokshi

I make this bond to you in blood, not flowers," he said. "Come with me and you shall be an empress with the moon for your throne and constellations to wear in your hair. Come with me and I promise you that we will always be equals."
My mouth went dry. A blood oath was no trifling undertaking. Vassals swore it to lords, priests to the gods. But husbands to wives? Unthinkable.
Still, Bharata's court had taught me one thing: the greater the offer, the greater the compromise. And I had neither dowry nor influence from Bharata, nothing to give but the jewels I wore.
"You're offering me the world, and you ask for nothing in return."
"I ask only for your trust and patience."
"Trust?" I repeated. "Trust is won in years. Not words. And I don't know anything about you--"
"I will tell you everything," he cut in, his voice fierce. "But we must wait until the new moon. The kingdom's close ties to the Otherworld make it dangerous grounds for the curious."
In my stories to Gauri, the new moon weakened the other realms. Starlight thinned their borders and the inhabitants lay glutted and sleepy on moonbeams. The thing is, I had always made that part up.
"Why that long?"
"Because that is when my realm is at its weakest," said Amar, confirming my imagination and sending shivers across my arms. "Until then, the hold of the other realms binds me into silence."
The night before the wedding ceremony, there was no moon in the sky. I would have to wa ~ Roshani Chokshi

When we had closed the door to the star room, Amar reached up to brush his fingers against the constellation in my hair.
"It suits you," he said.
Warmth crept to my cheeks. For a long moment, we stood in that alcove. The mirror portals faintly shimmered. In the distance, I could see the lines of cities and flush of daybreaks, but everything felt dim compared to the space between us. It felt so charged it could have been alive. ~ Roshani Chokshi

But today the quickest way to save your bottom line is to cut off research. ~ Amar Bose

I loved music, and in my ninth year at MIT, I decided to buy a hi-fi set. I figured that all I needed to do was look at the specifications. So I bought what looked like the best one, turned it on, and turned it off in five minutes, the sound was so poor. ~ Amar Bose

I forgot the maid who works in my P.G. and struggles to make money, every day, who is in fear that one day her cruel husband will find her out eventually and beat her and her son to death.
I forgot that auto driver I met on my way to M.G. road metro station, and who wanted to be in the army but gave up study due to the financial crisis.
I forgot that security guard I met at IIT Delhi, and who was forced to leave the study and marry at the age of 15.
I forgot those little kids I generally encounter at Railway stations and trains selling packets of pens @ Rs.25 per packet.
I forgot that 75 years old ricksha wala I met in sector 23 market with only one eye and high power lens
I forgot that washroom cleaning staff at my office who always welcomes me with a broad smile.
I forgot the dead body of that martyred soldier I saw at the Kashmir airport, laden with garlands of marigold and people shouting," jawan amar rahe!"
I forgot the scream of that pig near my office when a thick rope was brutally tied in its nose and it was forcefully taken by some people on a bike.
I almost forgot everything! ~ Sangeeta Mann

Amar, I know this will mean nothing to you now. But I do believe that even your father's God, even He, would forgive you. To know you is to want to let you in. ~ Fatima Farheen Mirza

I watched, paralyzed, as Nritti sank the blade into his heart. Amar shuddered, his body tense. The muscles of his neck stood out in sharp relief. His eyes rolled back, the whites of his sockets glistening before they focused on me.
"Jaani," he said, a shaky smile curling his lips.
Amar tapped his lips twice, one hand fluttering to his heart. And then he went still. I blinked back tears, and a scream wrenched from my throat. Grief cut me, separating me like a soul from its body. I was nothing more than a being of fury and heartbreak. ~ Roshani Chokshi

That I didn't see the end of me and Maddie coming seems impossible to me now. But at the time I had this notion that even though my own feelings for my girlfriend had begun to cool not long after the spectacular prize of her was attained, to part ways on this basis would be as much an act of infidelity toward myself. It unsettled me that the Amar of a year ago could be so inconsistent with the Amar of today, and I suppose that in my determination to pretend, at least, that nothing had changed - that I was not so fickle and vain as to want a woman only until she had been won - I did not sufficiently entertain the possibility that Maddie herself was capable of changing, too. ~ Lisa Halliday

I would have been fired a hundred times at a company run by M.B.A.'s. But I never went into business to make money. I went into business so that I could do interesting things that hadn't been done before. ~ Amar Bose

Amar reached for my hand and put something in my palm. I looked down: string.
"For conquering," he said.
I stretched the string into a taut line.
"Conquering what? Insects?"
"No. Your enemies."
The stars. Fate.
The string drooped in my fingers.
"Why do you hate them?" he asked.
"If Akaran has its eyes and ears in Bharata, then you already know," I said darkly, thinking of the horoscope that had shadowed the past seventeen years.
"Do you believe the horoscope?"
"No."
I meant it. There was no proof. Sometimes, I still thought it was a hateful rumor born of Mother Dhina's jealousy.
"Then why hate the stars?"
"For what they did. Or, I guess, what they made other people do," I said softly. "For making me hated without reason and without evidence. Wouldn't you hate distant jailers?"
"I don't believe they're jailers. I believe the stars."
"Then you're a fool to marry me."
He laughed. "I believe them, but I choose to read them differently."
"I don't see any happy way to explain death and destruction."
"Doesn't death make room for life? Autumn trees die to make room for new shoots. And destruction is part of that cycle. After all, a devastating forest fire lets the ground start anew."
I stared at him. No one had ever said anything like that in Bharata. No one had ever challenged the stars. And yet, the light contoured him, clung to him, like the stars knew and believed everything he said. Ma ~ Roshani Chokshi

On the day of the agni pariksha, light transfixed Amar's face.
"I have every faith in you, my love," he said, trailing fingers along my jaw. "This will put an end to every rumor. This will keep you safe from them. I know our days have been cold, but after this, we will be as we once were."
Inside, my heart snarled, but I kept my face blank. "I will not disappoint."
All the members of the Otherworld assembled for my trial. I wore white, the dress of mourning. In the Night Bazaar, a dim glow lit up the faces of the attendees, clinging to well-oiled horns and scaled skin. Leonine rakshasa waited patiently, weapons quivering in their grip. If I failed, they were free to depose me. If I succeeded, they would end their bloodshed in the human realms.
Sacred flames lapped up from the ground. Ribbons of fire snaked out like tongues and grasping hands. I looked to Amar. His face was stern. Hopeful. For what outcome, I thought I knew. But I was wrong. ~ Roshani Chokshi

We'll meet again in the evening," said Gupta.
"Anything else I should know before you leave?"
Gupta grinned. "Amar is terrible at flattery."
I smiled, but I couldn't help but wonder who had been the last person he had attempted to flatter. The thought bothered me.
"I was never wooed by courtly speech anyway."
As Gupta closed the door behind him I heard a soft laugh by my side.
"Is that so?"
Amar.
I turned to face him, my gaze tracing the emerald robes that matched my sari perfectly. Like yesterday, he wore a hood that left only the lower half of his face in view. I looked at him, and even if it was only a moment, he eclipsed the staggering pull of the tapestry. ~ Roshani Chokshi

A small light floated between us, only to vanish in an instant.
"What are those?"
Amar followed my gaze. "Wishes."
My eyes widened. "They grant wishes?"
"Sadly, no. They're wishes already made."
"Of what?"
"Or who?" countered Amar.
"Is this another secret the moon keeps from me?"
"No," said Amar with a grin. "It is a secret that I choose to keep from you."
"Why won't you tell me?"
"Because then this would lose all its fun. ~ Roshani Chokshi

Is this the seedman Jasher?" The commander indicated the charred remains.
"It's his identical twin."
"We know he traveled with you until recently. Where is his amar?"
"I ate it."
"This is a foolish time for flippancy."
"I panicked. It tasted horrible. Do you have any mouthwash? ~ Brandon Mull

Isn't it what life is about, after all? A series of images that pass us by like towns as you cross along a long road? Then suddenly, a scenario stands and we know that image, that moment and all the feelings connected to it will remain alive no matter what? ~ Angélica Calheiros - Nove Dias Para Amar

Amar reached out to cup the back of my neck. I shuddered. I had forgotten how cold his hands were, like the soul of winter had tangled itself in his fingers. He stared at me and his gaze had all the finality of death--it was ferocious and terrible, a ravel of locked horns. He was searching me. I knew exactly what he was looking for--
Himself.
I twined the bracelet together, letting it hover mere inches from his skin. I had no expectation, no method, no strategy. I was blind and clinging to a bruised piece of hope. But it was all I had.
"You once said your soul could never forget mine," I said, sliding the mended bracelet around his wrist. "Do you remember now?"
He inhaled sharply, like something had rent through him. Around his wrist, the bracelet glowed like a caught star.
"Jaani," he breathed, staring at me.
He clutched his chest, an amazed smile turning his face incandescent. I grinned so widely that I thought the air would bend around us, pushing us together. His fingers entwined in my hair and he tilted my face up. ~ Roshani Chokshi

The excitement level for me working on projects is really not a bit different from when I was 26. ~ Amar Bose

He divided the inhabitants of the world into two groups, into those who had loved and those who had not. ~ Thomas B. Costain

The door creaked open and there he was.
"My star-touched queen," he said. "I missed you."
He walked toward me. In the candle-lit glow of our bedroom, every feature was more pronounced. The sweep of his shoulders, the short hair that curled at his neck. The glow of his skin, honey-drenched and russet. My beautiful nightmare.
I caught his hand in mine, my fingers trailing over the band of leather around his wrist. The noose. Against my skin, the noose was a cold pulse. There was a small knot at its base, lazily tied. He probably hadn't expected it was in any danger.
"We lost an entire day together," he said.
I loosened the silk around my waist and Amar raised an eyebrow. Around him, the shadows rippled silkily. I met his gaze and he stared at me, his breath shallow and waiting. The silk fell noiselessly to the floor.
"We still have the night. ~ Roshani Chokshi

Amar loosed a breath. "I understand, you know."
I looked up.
"The forced silence…the voices of this palace."
We stood there, not saying anything. I felt too aware of the space between us. Even with Akaran's secrets spiraling in the shadows of my head, I couldn't ignore the weightless feeling that had gripped me. Standing beside Amar did something to me. Like my center had shifted to make room for him.
"You do not trust me, do you?"
"No," I said. I had no reason to lie. "I told you in the Night Bazaar that trust is won in actions and time. Not words."
"I wish you trusted me."
"I don't place my faith in wishes," I said. "How can I? I can't even--"
I bit back the rest of my words. I can't even see your face. Perhaps Gupta was lying and he really did have a disfiguring scar. Amar moved closer until we were only a hand space apart.
"What?" he coaxed, his voice hovering between a growl and a question.
"I can't even see your face."
A strange chill still curled off of him like smoke and even though the glass garden was teeming with little lights, shades veiled him.
"Is that what you want?" he said. "Would it make you trust me?"
"It would be a start."
"You are impossible to please."
I said nothing. Amar leaned forward, and I felt the silken trails of his hood brush across my neck. My breath constricted. "Is that what you want? An unguarded gaze can spill a thousand secrets."
"I would know them anyway," I s ~ Roshani Chokshi

A little smile on your face, because you'd just untangled a new translation." He cleared his throat. "Like this one. Tumi amar jeeboner dhruvotara." She tilted her head, puzzling over the phrase. "That's not Hindustani." "Bengali. It means 'You are my life's bright star' in Bengali." The sweet words were edged with frustration, not tenderness. His knuckles cracked. "Obviously, I was saving that one. For the right morning. ~ Tessa Dare

I am the Dharma Raja for a reason. I would not have my own impartiality questioned by favoring you. Surely, you knew this."
"What would you have done if I failed?"
"You couldn't fail," said Amar. "That's why I did not worry. You were meant to be the queen of these lands. We were meant to rule together. For all of eternity."
"I would rather die than rule by the side of a coward."
Shadows curled away from Amar's body.
"Coward?" he hissed. "Cowardice is running from the difficult choices made by the ones that love you most. If I have been a coward, so have you, jaani. But we may start anew. Let us not speak of this time any longer."
He tried, once more, to tilt my face into a kiss, but I moved away.
"I saw you spread the rumors yourself in the Otherworld. I watched you take solace in another's arms. And if surviving the agni pariksha means spending eternity with you, then I would rather live life as a mortal."
The room became damp and sticky with darkness.
"What lies you hurl at me," he murmured.
"I don't trust you."
He stepped back, wounded. "Has your judgment become so compromised? If you truly do not believe the truth in my words, then you have no place here."
We stared at one another, fury swelling between us. The silence expanded, solidifying our words like manacles.
"Once, I thought you loved me," I said in a broken voice. "I refuse to live in your shadow for the rest of eternity."
His eyes widened, obsi ~ Roshani Chokshi

Deep within the self is the Light of God. It radiates throughout
the expanse of His creation. Through the Guru's teachings, the
darkness of spiritual ignorance is dispelled. The heart lotus flower
blooms forth and eternal peace is obtained, as one's light merges
into the Supreme Light. ~ Guru Amar Das

You know just as well as I do that Vikram's thread never budged," I said stonily.
Amar bowed his head. Good, I thought. At least he could fake some guilt.
"I know."
"Why couldn't I? Why did you made it sound like I could? All this talk about being a true ruler here, this…awakening of power. Or control. I had no control over that thread. I couldn't even pull it from one side to another."
"It takes time. But it's a start. It's a new beginning," he said. A chill ran up my spine. "For you and me."
He braced his elbows against his knees, the sleeves revealing the bracelet of my hair around his wrist. He had tethered a part of me to him, but I had nothing of his. He kept all his secrets from me.
"Trust me," said Amar. "And tonight, we shall celebrate. Where shall I take you, my queen? Your will is where I lay my head."
My mind twisted into a snarl.
"How can I trust you?"
Amar's grin slipped off his face and his eyes narrowed. "Have I not proven myself? I rescued you from death--"
"You don't know that," I retorted, my voice raising. "Perhaps I would've made a last-minute escape. Perhaps the kingdom would've changed its mind."
"But they didn't, did they?" said Amar coldly. "I'm the one who took you to safety. I'm the one who made you a queen."
"Queen? I'm no better than a caged bird," I bit out. The words tasted like bile.
"What would that make me? An owner? You have free rein, as always, over this kingdom. Much more fr ~ Roshani Chokshi

El verbo leer, como el verbo amar y el verbo soñar, no soporta 'el modo imperativo'. Yo siempre les aconsejé a mis estudiantes que si un libro los aburre lo dejen; que no lo lean porque es famoso, que no lean un libro porque es moderno, que no lean un libro porque es antiguo. La lectura debe ser una de las formas de la felicidad y no se puede obligar a nadie a ser feliz.


The verb reading, like the verb to love and the verb dreaming, doesn't bear the imperative mode. I always advised to my students that if a book bores them leave it; That they don't read it because it's famous, that they don't read a book because it's modern, that they don't read a book because it's antique. The reading should be one of the ways of happiness and nobody can be obliged to be happy. ~ Jorge Luis Borges

Fury and rumors flitted to the Otherworld, that the Rani of Naraka had befouled her title with her decisions. I paid no attention to the rumors.
But Amar did.
"If this continues, they will storm our palace. I cannot let that happen. We have the sanctity of the balance to maintain."
I flinched; something in his words felt strangely distant. "Do you believe them?"
"Of course not," he said, waving a dismissive hand. But I caught a tremor in his fingers. "Still, we need to control the peace. We must care what they think."
"Why? It won't change anything."
"It's your"--he caught his words--"our reputation. ~ Roshani Chokshi

It's like a bunch of hookers advertising their cellulite/ stretch- mark infested bodies to the highest bidder, and then claiming they deserve respect. Crawling on their hands and knees, pupils dilated on the high of greed, licking their lips almost tasting their next job of self- whoredom, and nothing is more tempting than the idea of Mr. Ellison. He could pay for tricks perform by the Pope, chandler-swinging strip-tease nuns.. No one has ever said "NO" to the idea of money and therefore no one has ever said "No" to Mr. Ellison and actually meant it... and then you have to wonder why he has no respect for people? ~ Avra Amar Filion

So if people want to make a monster out of him, if they want to write books that make him into a cold-hearted man, without a conscience and then write ill about him because he has made a few mistake in life like any normal person would. That has become rough around the edges because so many people have taken advantage of his kindness and child- like naivety to continue to believe in the better of others, while they do nothing but tear him down to pieces to suit their purpose. ~ Avra Amar Filion

Quietude

As music is not in the notes, but in the silence between the notes, the real joy of life is not in the activities, but in the quiet between the activities. ~ Amar Ochani

Once a wish comes true, it disappears for good."
"That's what you wished for?" I asked, incredulous. "A peck on the cheek?"
"No."
"Then what?"
"This," said Amar, gesturing to the space between us, "the chance to be this close to you."
We looked at one another in silence. There was something new between us. Fragile and thrumming. I didn't know what to do. Nothing I had learned in Bharata's sanctum had taught me this. Nothing I had seen in the harem came close to what I felt. There was an undercurrent of depth, of something hard-won and dangerous. I couldn't treat it with lightness…and I didn't want to. ~ Roshani Chokshi

What were your kisses, then? Vengeance?"
The wall of flames shimmered away. Anger still flared inside me, but now it was mixed with something else. Something I couldn't push away, despite fury. Want.
"They were nothing," I lied. "They meant nothing."
I didn't look at him. And then, a bloom of cold erupted beside me and Amar was at my side. His fingers traced a secret calligraphy along my arms.
"Nothing at all? ~ Roshani Chokshi

I turned around, looking for escape. Behind me was a great obsidian mirror, like the one I had once found in the room with the tree full of memories. In its reflection, the stone halls of Naraka glittered.
"You are not a sadhvi," said a voice.
I looked up, stunned to see Amar standing before me. He helped me to my feet, but I couldn't look at him. Every time I glanced into his face, that flat look of no recognition slashed through me.
He jerked my chin up. "Do not lie to me. Who are you?"
Tears prickled hot behind my eyes and the answer I gave him was so true, I could feel it echoing through all my hollow spaces: "I don't know."
He released his hold on my chin but he didn't step away. "You asked to see me alone. Why?"
Because I love you. ~ Roshani Chokshi

No one ever won a chess game by betting on each move. Sometimes you have to move backward to get a step forward. ~ Amar Bose

Keeping at heart that quote, I can say with all surety that everything everyone paints Mr. Ellison out to be, everything they describe they see when they look at him is purely a reflection of their own sickness and degeneracy. Everything they accuse him of and say is wrong; they would do in a heartbeat, and are doing, but just not in such magnitude. The rich and the poor both sin, the poor man just hates that the rich man can afford better quality... in most cases. ~ Avra Amar Filion

At 13, I realized that I could fix anything electronic. It was amazing, I could just do it. I started a business repairing radios. It grew to be one of the largest in Philadelphia. ~ Amar Bose

Even with his eyes concealed, I sensed Amar's gaze. "What world do you belong to? Theirs?" I pointed at an Otherworldly being sharpening his horns.
"No. My kingdom is neither among humans nor Otherworldly beings. It is between."
"Why did you come to Bharata?" I asked. "The invitation to my swayamvara was issued only to the nations we're at war with."
"Everyone is at war with my nation," he said with a smile.
"How did you even know about me?"
"Akaran has its eyes and ears."
He could have been lying. Nothing escaped me from the rafters where I had spied for years. But my father had other meetings…and he was not always in Bharata.
I hesitated. "How can I trust someone who won't even reveal their face?"
"It's far too easy to be recognized here."
He drew the cloak closer and the gesture was so final, so closed off and unwelcoming, that I stepped back, chastened. Amar removed the wedding garland from around his neck. From the sleeves of his jacket, he withdrew a small knife. Before I could react, he swiped the knife across his palm. Small beads of blood welled to the surface. He held his palm out to me like a perverse offering.
"I make this bond to you in blood, not flowers," he said. "Come with me and you shall be an empress with the moon for your throne and constellations to wear in your hair. Come with me and I promise you that we will always be equals."
My mouth went dry. A blood oath was no trifling undertaking. Vassals sw ~ Roshani Chokshi

There was a time when I was wondering about this business of going public, so I visited about a half-dozen companies in the Boston area, all of them formed by MIT faculty and all had gone public. ~ Amar Bose

Tell it to me."
"Why? We both know the tale."
"Even so. I want to hear it from your lips. Tell the tale. The room will keep rhythm."
Tell the tale. My heart clenched. I miss you, Gauri. Sinking into my old habit was easy enough. I sat on the floor, crossing my legs in front of me, my gaze flickering between Amar and the pillar. Amar's eyes were closed, his head tilted back to expose his bronzed throat. I spun my tale and the sky shimmered with images. I told Amar of the demon king who wished to escape death so he performed the most severe penances until he was granted a boon by the gods.
"He prayed that he would not die inside or outside his home. He prayed that he would die neither at night or day nor in the ground or in the sky. He prayed that neither man nor beast could kill him. He prayed no weapon could harm him."
Amar's head snapped up. He looked at the pillar with a wicked smile.
"And yet death found its way to him."
I nodded. "One day, the god appeared as part-man, part-lion and burst forth from the pillar."
A being of shadow tore through the pillar. A lion's mane cast a torn shadow across the marble. Fangs lengthened in its mouth.
"He came upon the demon king at twilight--"
"--which is neither night nor day," said Amar.
"And he appeared on the threshold of a courtyard--"
"Neither indoors nor out."
"And he spread the king across his lap."
"Neither above nor below ground."
The shadow story playe ~ Roshani Chokshi

Only my queen would find hope in horror." He took my hand in his and his gaze was burning. "You are my hope and more."
"What does that make you? My horror?"
"And more," he said.
All I saw were his eyes. Velvet dark. The kind of umbra that shadows envy. Amar stared at me and his gaze was desperate with hope. Reckless. I should've stopped. I should've stepped away. But I didn't. I leaned forward, and a soft growl--like surrender--escaped his throat. He dug his fingers into my back and pulled me into a kiss.
Amar's kiss was furious. No heat. Just lightning. Or maybe that was what his touch teased out of me--vivid streaks of light, dusk and all her violent glory. I was lost. ~ Roshani Chokshi

I had studied violin from age 7 to 14. ~ Amar Bose

I can't even see your face."
A strange chill still curled off of him like smoke and even though the glass garden was teeming with little lights, shades veiled him.
"Is that what you want?" he said. "Would it make you trust me?"
"It would be a start."
"You are impossible to please."
I said nothing. Amar leaned forward, and I felt the silken trails of his hood brush across my neck. My breath constricted. "Is that what you want? An unguarded gaze can spill a thousand secrets."
"I would know them anyway," I said evenly.
I waited for him to dissuade me, but when he remained silent, I reached out. Amar stood still, lean muscles tensed beneath his clothes. I could hear his breathing, see his chest rising and falling, smell that particular scent of mint and smoke that hung around him. Slowly, I untied the ends of the dove-gray hood. Small pearls snagged against the silk of his covering.
Suddenly, his hands reached around my wrist.
"I trust you," he said. ~ Roshani Chokshi

Do these past days mean nothing?" he asked, so gently that my weak self curled around his words.
But I would no longer be weak. I tapped into that power in my veins and a shimmering wall of flames sprang up between us. Amar jumped back, shocked and then…amused.
"A little ruthlessness is to be admired, but it's cruel to play with a powerless heart."
"Crueler still to promise equality and hide a person's true self."
"I thought it was best for you," he repeated.
"Strange how something that only affected me was decided by you."
Amar's smile turned cold. "My promises were true. You seek to punish an illusion without fully knowing. What were your kisses, then? Vengeance?"
The wall of flames shimmered away. Anger still flared inside me, but now it was mixed with something else. Something I couldn't push away, despite fury. Want.
"They were nothing," I lied. "They meant nothing."
I didn't look at him. And then, a bloom of cold erupted beside me and Amar was at my side. His fingers traced a secret calligraphy along my arms.
"Nothing at all?"
My heart twisted. I reached forward, my hands tangling in his hair as I kissed him. It was a kiss meant to devour, to summon war. And when I broke it, my voice was harsh:
"My kisses mean nothing."
"Cruel queen," he murmured, tilting my head back. His lips skimmed down my neck. Amar's hands gripped my waist, before tracing the outline of my hips. Heat flared through my body. But just ~ Roshani Chokshi

A knock at the door pulled me from my thoughts. I opened it, expecting to see Gupta, but it was Amar. His expression looked carved in stone and his lips were set in a grim line. But the moment we held each other's gaze, something in him relented. His hands tightened at his side.
"I would never want to cause you pain."
I flinched. "I am not in pain."
Lie.
"I am not some animal you wounded," I added.
Truth.
"It is only a night longer," he said.
The warning voice from the halls echoed back to me: You are running out of moon time. Listen to my warning rhyme. What would happen tomorrow?
Amar hesitated, before reaching out to hold my hand. I stared at the circlet of my hair around his wrist. Bitterness rose in my throat. I glanced from my bracelet to the other one on his wrist--black leather and knotted--dull and malevolent.
"Do these past days mean nothing?" he asked, so gently that my weak self curled around his words.
But I would no longer be weak. I tapped into that power in my veins and a shimmering wall of flames sprang up between us. Amar jumped back, shocked and then…amused.
"A little ruthlessness is to be admired, but it's cruel to play with a powerless heart. ~ Roshani Chokshi

I never went into business to make money. ~ Amar Bose

You have made your request, what about mine?"
"I am not the one withholding secrets."
He smiled and I stared at him for a moment. When he smiled, his severe face softened into something beautiful. I wanted to see it again.
"On the contrary, I am the one who has no choice. You, on the other hand, do."
"What do you want from me?"
He reached out, fingers sliding across the length of my hair.
"Some strands of your hair."
Some of the courtiers in Bharata used to tie their wives' hair around their wrists when they traveled. It was a sign of love and faith. To remain connected to the person you love, even if it was just by a circlet of hair.
"May I?" asked Amar.
I nodded. With a small knife, Amar deftly clipped a number of strands. Quickly, he twirled them into a bracelet and slipped it onto his wrist. There was another bracelet on his hand that I had not noticed until now. A simple strap of black leather tied into an elegant knot.
"Thank you for this," he said, pulling his sleeve over the other strap.
"It's nothing," I said, trying for lightness.
"And yet I would trade everything for it," he said. There was no tease in his voice. Nothing but a strange straightforwardness, like he'd never said anything more honest in his entire life. ~ Roshani Chokshi

Are you disappointed?" I asked coldly.
Amar slipped his arms around my waist. "I always believed in you. It is the world outside who needed convincing."
"Liar," I hissed, stepping out of the ring of his arms.
"What is the meaning of this?"
"You humiliated me. You left me to them like carrion before vultures. And like vultures, they devoured me."
My voice was hoarse and brittle. I hated him. I hated him for abandoning me. I hated him for needing him.
Amar stepped back, his jaw clenched. "I did it to quell dissent. To keep you safe. I was ashamed that I had to ask you to undergo the agni pariksha."
"So ashamed you distanced yourself from me the moment you demanded that trial?"
Amar looked stunned. "I am the Dharma Raja for a reason. I would not have my own impartiality questioned by favoring you. Surely, you knew this."
"What would you have done if I failed?"
"You couldn't fail," said Amar. "That's why I did not worry. You were meant to be the queen of these lands. We were meant to rule together. For all of eternity. ~ Roshani Chokshi

A strange illusion," I murmured shakily.
"Not an illusion," said Amar. His voice was brittle. "Didn't I promise you the power of a thousand kings?" He crossed the marble floor that had once been an ocean. Water glistened on his feet and a gray fish flopped helplessly in a corner.
He stood in front of me, his eyes hectic and alive. Even through my fury, I couldn't look away from him.
"You and I are the ground and ceiling of our empire," he said, his voice harsh and desperate, pleading and ruthless at once. "You and I can carve lines into the universe and claim all that we want. We need only share between ourselves. Don't you see?"
"All I see is your power," I said. "None of my own. All I see are my words and expectations thrown up against whatever it is that you choose to tell me--"
"--whatever I can tell you," finished Amar. "And as for your power, I was hoping you would ask that. It's time to practice."
"Leave me alone," I hissed.
"Your duties in Akaran will pay no heed to the whims of its empress."
I bared my teeth at Amar and he returned it with a half-grin.
"From now on, whatever concentration you use is yours alone. It is your power. Not mine."
"How would I know?"
"You'll feel it in your bones. Like blood singing to marrow."
I slid off the bed and when my feet hit the floor, something silvery trilled through my body, like light had seeped in and was rediscovering me. It was like being full for the first time. Li ~ Roshani Chokshi

I scrambled off the water buffalo, biting back a wince as I struggled for some balance. Catching my breath, I backed away from Amar. In the shadows, the hood over his face glinted sinister.
"Do not come near me!" I hissed.
Amar halted.
"Let me explain," he began. "I understand that this is not--"
I lunged for a stick and brandished it at him.
"Who are you?"
Amar laughed. "A stick? I've brought you to the Night Bazaar; do you really think a stick would protect you?" I gripped the stick harder. "Not that you need protection from me," he added quickly.
"Who are you?"
"Amar."
"Where are you from?"
"Akaran."
I gave him a hard look, but I wasn't sure how much he could see through his covering. "What are you?"
He drew himself up. "A raja and your husband."
There was no hesitation in his voice.
"Why have you brought me here?" My voice shook. I couldn't stop staring at the Night Bazaar. There it was. And here I was. Standing on the same plot of land shared with beings that--until now--had only existed in stories. "What do you want from me?"
He stopped. The smile was gone from his lips.
"I want your perspective and honesty," he said, before adding in a softer voice, "I want to be humbled by you. ~ Roshani Chokshi

May I?" asked Amar.
I nodded. With a small knife, Amar deftly clipped a number of strands. Quickly, he twirled them into a bracelet and slipped it onto his wrist. There was another bracelet on his hand that I had not noticed until now. A simple strap of black leather tied into an elegant knot.
"Thank you for this," he said, pulling his sleeve over the other strap.
"It's nothing," I said, trying for lightness.
"And yet I would trade everything for it," he said. There was no tease in his voice. Nothing but a strange straightforwardness, like he'd never said anything more honest in his entire life.
"Then you must be relieved I gave it willingly."
"Astounded," he murmured, still tracing the circlet. He looked at me and something light fluttered in my stomach. "Not relieved. Relief is when you want something to stop."
A small light floated between us, only to vanish in an instant.
"What are those?"
Amar followed my gaze. "Wishes."
My eyes widened. "They grant wishes?"
"Sadly, no. They're wishes already made."
"Of what?"
"Or who?" countered Amar.
"Is this another secret the moon keeps from me?"
"No," said Amar with a grin. "It is a secret that I choose to keep from you. ~ Roshani Chokshi

The shortest road man walks, is sadly the road of gratitude! ~ Avra Amar Filion

The prejudice was so bad in the United States at that time that a dark person with a white person would not be served in a restaurant. My father, mother, and I would try it occasionally. We would sit there, and the food would never come. ~ Amar Bose

We spent the rest of the day lost in that room of old planets and forgotten meteors. I stepped across flattened comets and spilled haloes of things that may have burned for centuries or may have always been illusions. It didn't matter. For the first time, I felt like I was seeing things differently. Amar kept testing my perspective. He clasped nebulas in my hands and told me to think of them as fate.
Being with him was like seeing for the first time. I even started to think differently about the horoscope. Could I see a glimmer of silver in all that darkness? I wanted to. And now, I almost did. ~ Roshani Chokshi

Power needs balance," said Amar. "Our game today, as our reign, is simply a matter of reaction. What can we do when chaos is flung into our face?"
A sound sliced through the air. I looked up just in time to see an arrow heading straight for me.
"What will you do?" asked Amar. His voice was everywhere at once.
I felt a tug in my hands, a strange itch and restlessness. Without thinking, I threw up my hands, all my attention focused on the arrow. It stopped midair. I flicked my hand and it whirled to charge at Amar. He snapped his fingers and the arrow shivered, paled and turned into a blossom of ice.
"I take it you're angry," said Amar. The brittleness from his voice wasn't gone; if anything it seemed more pronounced. "Only two more days until the full moon. Then, if you want, you may certainly fling arrows into my back. Until then, try for more creativity. We cannot just spin problems back. We must do more."
More, I thought. I could do that.
I don't know how much time passed while we danced, spinning power between us like it was just another game. He tossed the ball of ice my way and I shattered it.
"What were you thinking when you broke that?" he asked. Even though I saw him across the room, I could feel his voice at my ear, low and burning.
"You."
He laughed and continued to conjure things out of the air and throw them to me. ~ Roshani Chokshi

No amount of captivity could strip the wild from the tiger. Amar was no different. He was feral. He was mine. ~ Roshani Chokshi

We need a soul, my lord. You said so yourself. If I do as you ask, the sadhvi must take his place. A soul for a soul."
Amar wasn't laughing anymore. The muscles in his neck tightened. His jaw clenched. But he didn't say anything. Nritti's grip on the noose turned her knuckles white. She was controlling him. I bit back a snarl.
Nritti turned back to me and her face was triumphant. "No soul, no bargain."
Kamala shinnied, pulling against Gupta. I dropped my gaze to the ground, my heart frantic when I saw my sandals--mud crusted, tearing at the seams. I grinned. Don't worry, Kamala, I thought, I'm not dying.
"I have one."
When I spoke, my gaze was for Amar alone.
"Here," I said, tearing off the sandal and throwing it at Nritti's feet, "a sole for a soul."
Kamala began to laugh and the deranged sound pitched off the walls, scattering between the bodies of the dark Otherworld beings. They stood slack-jawed and still. Only their eyes moved--bounding between me and Nritti and back. Before Nritti could speak, a creaking sound clattered through the room.
Amar scooped the dirtied sandal in one hand before pulling me away from Nritti. His grip crushed into my arm, strong as iron. But there was something else…he was trembling. I could feel it through my skin.
"I accept her barter. ~ Roshani Chokshi

He doesn't know what the world is like today. The thought that his own conception of the world was so different from his father's was like a protecting wall around his entire being. When his father went out into the street he had only the mosque, the Koran, the other old men in his mind. It was the immutable world of law, the written word, unchanging beneficence, but it was in some way wrinkled and dried up. Whereas when Amar stepped out the door there was the whole vast earth waiting, the live mysterious earth, that belonged to him in a way it could belong to no one else, and where anything at all might happen. ~ Paul Bowles

Amar's eyes darted between me and the tree, but I refused to move. I tried to summon the tingling sensation of power, but it only buzzed weakly at my fingertips before abandoning me. The tree was beyond my control.
Amar shut his eyes. When he spoke, his voice was haggard, sweat shining on his neck. "Destroy that tree and I will be stripped of my memories. No one will remember who you are or what you mean to me," he said, his voice rasping. ~ Roshani Chokshi

I never glanced at the moon for the next week. I knew, buried beneath my happiness, that it was temporary and that sooner or later I would have to pull Vikram's thread, but I ignored it. I was too lost in the magic of Akaran and Amar. ~ Roshani Chokshi

Amor, ch'al cor gentile ratto s'apprende
prese costui de la bella persona
che mi fu tolta; e 'l modo ancor m'offende.

Amor, che a nullo amato amar perdona,
Mi prese del costui piacer sì forte,
Che, come vedi, ancor non m'abbandona..."

"Love, which quickly arrests the gentle heart,
Seized him with my beautiful form
That was taken from me, in a manner which still grieves me.

Love, which pardons no beloved from loving,
took me so strongly with delight in him
That, as you see, it still abandons me not... ~ Dante Alighieri

Amar's head snapped up and for the first time since leaving Naraka, we stared at one another. His expression hadn't changed since the glen. It was flat, but not unkind, just…out of reach.
He looked as though someone had summoned him from stone. The more I looked at him, the more images prickled behind my eyes--him walking toward me, in one hand carrying a glass rose while his fingers reached for me, eager to close the space between us; his hand slung over my waist while we slept, two bodies curled into the shadow of each other.
But those images were mine alone. Amar blinked, his brows furrowing before he looked away. My heart slammed against my ribs. If I had any doubt about his last words--that he wouldn't remember me, that I would be lost to him--this moment cured them.
I was a stranger. ~ Roshani Chokshi

They who quarrel with others, instead of quarrelling with their own hearts, waste their lives. ~ Guru Amar Das

I am very careful about who I choose to build memories with. Some of them might last a lifetime. ~ Angélica Calheiros

He Himself makes the mortals anxious, and He Himself takes the anxiety away. ~ Guru Amar Das

There is a law somewhere that says that when one person is thoroughly smitten with the other, the other must unavoidably be smitten as well. Amor ch'a null'amato amar perdona. Love, which exempts no one who's loved from loving, Francesca's words in the Inferno. Just wait and be hopeful. I was hopeful, though perhaps this was what I had wanted all along. To wait forever. ~ Andre Aciman

Invention is arrived at by intelligent stumbling. ~ Amar Bose

And those wishes?"
"See for yourself," he said, opening his palm.
There was nothing in his hands. Around us, a third of the lights had disappeared. I stared into the dark, waiting for them to flare into being. But they were gone.
"Once a wish comes true, it disappears for good."
"That's what you wished for?" I asked, incredulous. "A peck on the cheek?"
"No."
"Then what?"
"This," said Amar, gesturing to the space between us, "the chance to be this close to you. ~ Roshani Chokshi

Naraka was gone. No marble met my feet, no splintered branches filled with burning memories fell across my ankles. There was no Amar, pulling my face to his--one last kiss before I damned him. ~ Roshani Chokshi