Alexandra Kleeman Quotes

Right now I felt like a person learning that a surgeon had left a pair of scissors inside her during a operation. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

He must have a lover of his own, some man or woman or animal whose absence hurt like a presence, some person that he poured himself into like a mold to remind himself of what he was. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

But when I reached for the knob, it wouldn't turn. The lock was on the outside. Who ever heard of the lock for a door being on the outside? It would be up to another, possibly a total and complete stranger, to decide whether you'd ever be allowed to leave. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

But I had no idea who this person might be, or who any of the people might be who sat at that table and watched me at the door and claimed to have feelings not exactly for me, but at me. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

There are times when any amount of being within the world is like rubbing bare skin against sandpaper, when any form of motion is a kind of abrasion, leaving you raw and pink and vulnerable to the next thing. At these times I prefer to close my eyes and be still, still like the cups or candles or crackers on the table, nerveless and open. I closed my eyes and tried to think of the thing furthest from my situation. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

Scientists have confirmed that chemicals are present in nearly everything manufactured by natural or artificial means. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

She said that everything that disappeared from our side went over to theirs, where they kept living normal lives, waiting for the things still lingering with us to join them, and make the world whole once more. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

She felt sad, but she hadn't cried all day. She thought that crying would actually be a good thing right now. It seemed normal to react. Whoever Martin had been, he had probably been a normal person. He was probably having a normal reaction right now, and she had caused it. She felt bad for confusing him. She thought it might be fair to cry for him. But it wasn't until she thought of the mother cows in the pasture the day after the weaning, wandering around singly in the naked sunshine, still trying to call out in their hoarse, broken voices for the young ones that were still missing, that she was finally able to make herself cry - a little bit for all of the calves, but mostly for herself. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

Sometimes a face could be so simple: even a couple of dark spots on a lighter surface or a dark oval in the distance might be a face. An electrical socket could be a face, a mailbox or a couple of punctuation marks could congeal suddenly into something with an expression. Our faces, on the other hand, were made of hundreds of different parts, each part separate and tenuous and capable of being ugly, each part waiting for a product designed to isolate and act upon it. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

There was nothing else I could do but say sorry myself. His apology had left a residue in me, a residue on my thinking, and continuing on in this house without saying it would be entirely awkward. It would turn the small space toxic. So I said it, though I tried to lessen the potency of the apology by mumbling. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

It seemed as though, being the only two people in this small, closed-in space, we couldn't help but have a relationship, and if we couldn't help but have a relationship, I felt that it was important to be upset now so that he would not shift the blame to me in the future. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

These masked men were going to bring me to a cleaner place, where things were more sharply distinguished from one another and where I would finally have the space to figure out who I was without other people nudging me all the time into shapes they thought I should have. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

I didn't know what to say. I knew I had a big choice to make. I could let it all go and try to love him, try to trust him, try to make something lasting and good. He obviously had strong feelings for me or about me. And he wasn't being so bad right now. We could build something sturdy, beautiful. Or I could try to make a dash for the door by crawling under the dining room table.

There was a good chance that he would kill me later either way. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

I turn my head and stare out the casement window at the royal gardens instead, wet and slippery and dark as the center of a body, where the roses twitch an extinguished red. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

The structural similarity of men, and their ability to be represented both as ideal, like Leonardo's Vitruvian Man, and as average. Man being the measure of all things, and therefore a sort of standard and interchangeable unit of length, breadth, intelligence, emotion. We could lay them end to end to measure the distance between the continents, the distance to the moon. We could use them to calculate the weight of weather, or to buy things at the grocery. With such an abundance of men, we could gauge anything we chose. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

So full. Full of lobster meat and the sadness of the lobster meat. Full of the feeling of having cracked hundreds upon hundreds of precious shells. Full of the sound and the sight of destruction, the lobsters dead in a pile, some of them with lipstick marks on their empty husks. Their voices piled up on one another. I felt a whispering coming from deep within my belly, the voices not yet at rest, and they said in a tone sympathetic and unsympathetic at the same time, Next Next Next. 'Well,' I said, 'what do we do next?' 'Lobster dinner?' he asked, chuckling a little as if I ought to be chuckling with him as well. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

There was no better way to live, or worse. It was all terrible, and you had to do it constantly, ~ Alexandra Kleeman

But there was a feeling building in me now that I hadn't felt since I'd shown up at this stupid party: I was excited. Something was going to happen. Either this would work, or it wouldn't. Either I would be spared, or I would die. Either death was something that could be fooled, outwitted, outplayed, or it was not. However things ended, I would learn something about the world in which, for the moment, I continued to live. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

She was truly happy for the first time in her life, and it felt just like living in a small room painted all white, with windows looking out onto impenetrable forest. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

Why can't you just let people have their own inner lives, as long as they're doing pretty much what they're supposed to with their outer lives? ~ Alexandra Kleeman

Standing there small among the boxes of Kandy Kakes that rose like brownish cartoon cliffs around him, he resembled the videos I'd seen of sea lions floating angelically among the kelp, black bodies filmed from below, their shapes cut out in bright sunlight, bodies mistakable for those of a human being. I felt the memory of a shadowy arm around me, a watcher again, sitting there on the couch with my boyfriend, watching the animals become prey. Somewhere there were giant whales feeding on creatures too small to see, pressing them against fronds of baleen with a tongue the size of a sedan. There were polar bears killing seals, tearing ovoid chunks from out of their smooth, round bellies. In the surrounding vastness of the warehouse, I heard something scratching against the concrete floor and knew there were rats here, scraping a thin film of nutrient from the dry packaged matter that surrounded them. Life was everywhere, inescapable, imperative. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

I missed you more now than I had when I lost you. I was forgetting the bad things faster than I forgot the good, and the changing ratio felt a little bit like falling in love even though I was actually speaking to you less and less. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

There had been times when I thought I might be with you indefinitely, something approaching an entire life. But then when there was only a finite amount of time, a thing we could both see the limit of, I wasn't so sure. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

In the advertisement, anonymous hands wielded shiny shiny blades that chopped through butter and animal bone as if they were the same thing, through ice and tendon and untreated wood as if there was no difference between anything in the world - only a slight variation in grain, visible once something has been split in half. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

Though it had been over a year, she staggered through the world like one freshly bludgeoned by love. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

My fiancé immediately began to look uncomfortable, but did not voice this discomfort except by a soft gurgling sound in the throat . . . The gurgling escalated, but my mother politely switched on the dishwasher, and soon we heard mostly the sound of machinery rather than that of a person's feelings surfacing. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

This feeling of lessening disturbance, coming from within myself, unexpected, was profoundly disturbing. As I sat still, growing less and less alarmed by the situation, I knew that I had to move fast, as fast and as far as I could within this small, cramped house. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

Tell me, is there someone in your life who's been sharing your life too closely? A friend or a loved one? Is there someone who's been taking up your time and not giving any of it back? ~ Alexandra Kleeman

I had seen the few things I cared about forget me seamlessly. I had seen the life I never really fit into heal up around my absence like a wound scabbed over. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

The past was just a place where uncontrolled freaks you had never consciously decided to include in your life entered it anyway and staggered around, breaking things. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

He was so far away now, or maybe he just looked distant because we were imaging different things for our future. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

There was a hazy damp film in his eyes that I recognized from emotions in old movies, projected large on darkened screens. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

Birds looked like an echo of birds, fat white clouds looked as if they were there to sell you fabric softener or air travel or health insurance. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

But since C had disappeared, the fantasies that obsessed me were all the worst things I could imagine at any given time. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

I got up to go back to the kitchen and put the cake in the oven. Probably it would not go well for the cake, or for whoever tried to eat the cake. It did not look as though the cake was going to turn out particularly nice, having been made for confusing reasons and lacking certain essential ingredients. But what else was there to do? Wasn't a terrible cake better than some terrible cake batter? ~ Alexandra Kleeman

I remembered from movies and TV that a human being striking a window could cause it to shatter, but the glass was too strong or I was too weak. My body didn't do much anymore when I put it to things. I didn't even make much noise pounding my fist against the glass: the ones that turned to look dismissed me almost before they had swiveled their heads. I might have been a painting of a hysterical female, paused in motion and screaming decoratively. But my throat was going raw, and my hands hurt dully. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

I was worried that there'd be emotional spillage, maybe even some tears, and comforting strangers always made me feel like a pervert. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

Karen couldn't understand how these encounters had marked him, and she had always believed that a person without trauma was dangerous in some way, untested. Also bizarre: in all of his stories, Dan ended up succeeding. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

Loving someone was no guarantee of how they would treat you. All it did was raise the stakes. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

To Karen he was worse than a stranger: she knew with certainty that something weird lurked inside him. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

I did have a friend,' I said.

'And your friend trespassed upon you,' the Wally replied. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

I find it increasingly difficult to speak of my feelings at will. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

Maybe that was the secret to happiness, I thought, being free of the responsibility of yourself. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

This is about how you relate to the world,' C said.

'Maybe it's about how the world relates to me,' I said back. ~ Alexandra Kleeman

Your brown eyes are beautiful.
don't believe the hype. ~ Alexandra Elle

Black is the color that is no color at all. ~ Alexandra Bracken

Stay out of this, Green!" He was still wholly focused on Chubs. "What else did you tell her?
What else did she get out of you?"
I jerked back, one single word throwing me off balance.
"What did you just call her?" Chubs interrupted. Of course he had caught it, too.
"What? I'm not allowed to use her name now?" he demanded. The look on his face was ripe
with derision. "What do you want me to call you? What clever codename did the League think up for
you? Pumpkin? Tiger? Tangerine?"
"You called me Green," I said.
"No I didn't," he said. "Why the hell would I call you that? I know what you are."
"You did," Chubs insisted. "You called her Green. You really don't remember? ~ Alexandra Bracken

Don't to that! Don't just disappear! If you're mad at me, then hit me or something-just don't think that I don't want to stay with you. I'll always want to stay with you! ~ Alexandra Bracken

They were two ships sailing in opposite diretions, having met for a short time in the middle of the voyage, and he could no sooner "keep her" than capture the wind. ~ Alexandra Bracken

Polarization is just one of many ways group membership can change an individual. Perhaps the most striking effect of group membership is that it can modify individuals' perceptions of themselves. Unable to separate their personal introspection from the ways they believe other people perceive them, teenagers may have what psychologists call an "imaginary audience," meaning they believe that other people are just as attuned to their appearance and behavior as they are (cue any pimple cream commercial). These perceptions can affect various aspects of their lives. For example, psychologists found that when Asian girls were subtly reminded about their Asian identity, they performed better on math tests. When they were subtly reminded about their gender, however, they performed worse. ~ Alexandra Robbins

I'm very much a lead by example person. ~ Alexandra Paul

It was instinct to pull back, to let go before I felt him let go first, bu he didn't allow me. ~ Alexandra Bracken

Some say we can't choose who we fall in love with; love chooses us. Sometimes people fall for the complete antithesis of everything they believe they're looking for. ~ Alexandra Adornetto

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'd be up for hearing about the one-eyed chick. ~ Alexandra Bracken

It's a shame to be the face of chess and to play chess badly. ~ Alexandra Kosteniuk

I've made a mistake. It started with a prince, as most stories do. Once I felt the thrum of his heart beneath my fingers, I couldn't forget it. ~ Alexandra Christo

The better the ingredients, the more farmers I can buy from, the closer I feel to the food I want to make that represents what I care about as a chef. ~ Alexandra Guarnaschelli

There are always lessons. Alexandra could hear her grandmother's voice. Life would be nothing more than random acts if we didn't have the lessons. Ignoring them is what makes senseless tragedies, senseless. ~ Anna J. McIntyre

Kris," Leonard Scott looked at her from across the table, "we are hiring a group of people who will take part in helping the U.S. achieve the most radical change it has ever seen. This is not just change you can believe in, it's change you can touch and see and feel. We are ready to make you a part of this team, if you are ready to join us. ~ Alexandra Swann

I am becoming increasingly difficult to please as a reader, but I adore being surprised by a really wonderful book, written by someone I've never heard of before. ~ Alexandra Fuller

In my heart, I'm as wild as the ocean that raised me. ~ Alexandra Christo

Lies aren't answers."
"But they sound so much better than the truth. ~ Alexandra Christo

Grief is beautiful?' She thought it was the most dreadful feeling possible. At best she viewed the world through a haze, and at worst everything looked black.
'It means you've loved another with all your heart,' Luka said. 'What's the use of being alive if you've never loved like that, not even once? ~ Belinda Alexandra

If I love you that'll always be the case, even if it's from the distance ~ Alexandra Elle

I realized that the only people that were ever going to help us were ourselves. ~ Alexandra Bracken

Where's Philips?" he demanded. "Or this ship's surgeon?"
"Philips went below to tend the men there. Their surgeon is no longer in possession of the lower half of his body. I believe he is presently indisposed with the business of dying. ~ Alexandra Bracken

Alexandra Horowitz's book Inside of a Dog: What Dogs See, Smell, and Know should be required reading for anyone adopting a rescue dog or buying a dog from a breeder. ~ Peter Zheutlin

Chubs helped me up, giving me a look that clearly asked, what fresh hell is this? ~ Alexandra Bracken

Either things fall into place, or they fall apart, but either way, I have to keep up pretences. ~ Alexandra Christo

Alexandra, I can handle my own fucking cock."

Stitch that on a pillow. ~ Kate Meader

Good ideas had in the dark, he thought with a groan, were generally best left there. ~ Alexandra Bracken

I'd read a lot of books where the girls are in awe of the supernatural male, so I thought it was time to write about an awesome and super-powerful female who is also quite vulnerable and naive about life on earth. ~ Alexandra Adornetto

Sit, Phantom!" Ivy cooed. "On your bottom!"
"Oh, for goodness' sake!" Gabriel put down his book and pointed a longer finger at Phantom. "Sit," he commanded in a deep voice. Phantom looked sheepish and sank straight to the floor.
Ivy scowled in frustration. "I've been trying to get him to do that all day! What is it with dogs and male authority? ~ Alexandra Adornetto

I never said I didn't identify with Lily," she went on, her voice clear and her own. "I think in some way she's the heart of the book. And her transformation at the end, when she's finally able to finish her painting, after she doesn't have anything holding her back…it's one of the most important scenes in the novel. It's when she finally realises who she is."

Mr Whitley nodded vaguely, pacing the length of a square-paned window overlooking the courtyard below.

"And what was it?" he asked deliberately. "What do you think was holding her back all that time?"

Olivia looked down at her feet, feeling every pair of eyes in the class burning holes into the top of her head. Miles's mushroom loafers were fidgeting under the chair beside her, and she felt him holding his breathe. Her heart was pounding, but this time it was different. Everybody in the room was waiting for her, and that was okay. This time she had things to say.

"The past," Olivia answered finally. "The past was holding her back. ~ Alexandra Bullen

They don't get the particular nature of this grief, how it's less about the loss of a potential child than it is about the endless possibility that there may yet be an actual child. ~ Alexandra Kimball

Let me tell you what I think about your fucking rules," he said, his voice dripping with venom as he pushed past Liam. "You sit up in your room and you pretend like you want what's best for everyone, but you don't do any of the work yourself. I can't tell if you're just a spoiled little shit, or if you're too worried about getting your pretty princess hands dirty, but it sucks. You are fucking awful, and you sure as hell don't have me fooled ... You talk about us all being equals, like we're one big rainbow of peace and all that bullshit, but you never once believed that yourself, did you? You won't let anyone contact their parents, and you don't care about the kids that are still trapped in camps your father set up. You wouldn't even listen when the Watch kids brought it up. So what I want to know is, why can't we leave? ... What's the point of this place, other than for you to get off on how great you are and toy with people and their feelings? ~ Alexandra Bracken

It's crucial to practice self-empathy, for trust can't be willed into existence. That didn't work when our caregivers tried to impose their will on us, and it won't work internally, either. Only when we can tap into a place of self-trust, with a reliable process of reparation for inevitable mistakes, can we build trust with another person. ~ Alexandra Katehakis

I was the kind of kid who was always making up stories and adventures. ~ Alexandra Adornetto

A soft heart only makes it easier for a knife to slip in. ~ Alexandra Bracken

They were never scared of the kids who might die, or the empty spaces they would leave behind. They were afraid of us-the ones who lived. ~ Alexandra Bracken

I can't tell which direction is right or wrong anymore, but I know I want to stay. ~ Alexandra Bracken

He could be disciplined when he wanted to be. ~ Alexandra Robbins

A family is like medicine." She twisted her lips into a sardonic smile. "Best in small doses. ~ Alexandra Ivy

LIFE IN ALEXANDRA was exhilarating and precarious. Its atmosphere was alive, its spirit adventurous, its people resourceful. Although the township did boast some handsome buildings, it could fairly be described as a slum, living testimony to the neglect of the authorities. The roads were unpaved and dirty, and filled with hungry, undernourished children scampering around half-naked. The air was thick with the smoke from coal fires in tin braziers and stoves. A single water tap served several houses. Pools of stinking, stagnant water full of maggots collected by the side of the road. Alexandra was known as "Dark City" for its complete absence of electricity. Walking home at night was perilous, for there were no lights, the silence pierced by yells, laughter, and occasional gunfire. So different from the darkness of the Transkei, which seemed to envelop one in a welcome embrace. ~ Nelson Mandela

I used to sleep with the phone right by my pillow but I'm getting better. Now it sits on the table a few feet away. ~ Alexandra Guarnaschelli

Until I read Anne Frank's diary, I had found books a literal escape from what could be the harsh reality around me. After I read the diary, I had a fresh way of viewing the both literature and the world. From then on, I found I was impatient with books that were not honest or that were trivial and frivolous. ~ Alexandra Fuller

― Why does toothpaste give me headache? ~ Alexandra Adornetto