Adoptive Parents Quotes

Then one detail caught my attention. "Time (of birth), 5:57 A.M." Wow! I really was born! I wasn't an alien who was dropped down into my adoptive parents' arms. I was a real baby who experienced a real birth from a real mother at a real time of day. For me, that tid-bit of information was like a meal to a starving woman. ~ Sherrie Eldridge

I believe one of the most sacrificial acts of love adoptive parents can do is to give up their preconceptions and agendas about what their child's views "should" be and be open to hear the conflicting emotions and thoughts their child often experiences. ~ Sherrie Eldridge

Adoption was such a positive alternative to abortion, a way to save one life and brighten two more: those of the adoptive parents. ~ George W. Bush

Adoption is a wonderful way of becoming a family. If being a biological parent is any better or more rewarding than being an adoptive parent, I really don't think I could stand it! ~ Kathleen Silber

There would be fewer contested adoptions and fewer situations of loss for preadoptive parents (who have already suffered enough loss) if we made sure that each and every adoption is truly the right decision. Birth and adoptive parents aside, it is the child who is at greater risk when we do not do conscientious adoption planning. ~ Joyce Maguire Pavao

There's a very natural tendency (that we've certainly experienced) for adoptive parents to want to become the sole identified parent for their child right away, to the point where you want your child only to acknowledge you and your family as their own and not their birth family. Especially if the adoption process has been a difficult or contentious one, it may be that you as the adoptive parent feel a bit threatened by the continued presence of the birth parent in your child's life, even if it's as infrequent as a once-yearly visit. But as I'm sure you'll read the current thinking is very focused on the overall benefits to the child of having this process no longer cloaked in the shadows, but out in the open. ~ William Gregory

I was a sickly baby, and after two sets of adoptive parents took me home, they returned me to the orphanage because of a serious respiratory infection. But as they say, the third time's a charm, because my mom and dad adopted me and took me into their home where I was raised in a family full of love. ~ Rodney Atkins

Would-be adoptive parents have to struggle for years through a bureaucratic obstacle course at an average cost of $30,000. ~ Foster Friess

My mother birthed three children and she adopted myself and another African-American son. My adoptive parents were Finnish. I grew up in a white picket neighborhood. ~ Michael Franti

Adopting means opening your home, and heart, to a life you've never known. But there is nothing as richly rewarding as being an adoptive parent. ~ Michael Gove

What many black and biracial transracial adoptees were not prepared for was that the societal realities they faced were the same as those facing other people of color. The information that white transracial adoptive parents needed to give their children did not exist in the white world; these parents would have to interact with black America in order to understand the problems most likely to trouble transracially adopted children. ~ Rhonda M. Roorda

Adoptive parents are taking on enormous responsibility, both emotionally and financially. Quite frankly, they need as much disclosure as possible about the child's background and health to assure the best fit and be prepared. ~ Pat Robertson

All anti-abortion protesters should be presented, on the spot, with an application to sign up as foster parents. They should also be given the names of children in their area in need of adoptive parents. And if they won't sign or volunteer, they should shut up. ~ Kurt Eichenwald

CHAPTER 1:

Fourteen year old Augustus Tomlin's day started out just like any other - normally. He got out of bed, dressed, brushed his teeth, then headed for the kitchen to join his adoptive parents, Earl and Marge for breakfast. This was the first day of their vacation, and admittedly, Augie (as he liked to be called) wasn't as excited about it as he would've been had Earl and Marge decided to take them all to Disneyland instead, because firstly, he'd been dealing with a paralyzing fear of water all of his life, and secondly, they were staying in a cabin on an isolated stretch of beach in the Florida Keys. Nevertheless, there was no way for Augie to know just then that by the end of the day he'd be traveling in an under-sea carriage drawn by four of the most incredible creatures he'd ever laid eyes upon, heading for destinations untold somewhere at the bottom of the ocean at a million miles an hour. ~ Sean J. Quirk

To allow same-sex couples to adopt children and then to label their families as second-class because the adoptive parents are of the same sex is cruel as well as unconstitutional. Classifying some families, and especially their children, as of lesser value should be repugnant to all those in this nation who profess to believe in "family values." ~ Stephen Reinhardt

Adoptive parents often say about adoption day: "It was the happiest day of our lives!" While most of us are happy to be adopted, our own hearts tell us that adoption day was the most painful day of our lives, for the person with whom we shared deep intimacy suddenly disappeared from our world. ~ Sherrie Eldridge

I think adoption is a blessing all around when it's done right. ~ Hugh Jackman

The truth is, the very act of adoption is built upon loss. For the birth parents, the loss of their biological offspring, the relationship that could have been, a very part of themselves. For the adoptive parents, the loss of giving birth to a biological child, the child whose face will never mirror theirs. And for the adopted child, the loss of the birth parents, the earliest experience of belonging and acceptance. To deny adoption loss is to deny the emotional reality of everyone involved. ~ Sherrie Eldridge

A full accounting of adoption as an option would not underestimate its emotional challenges - the grief and loss for birth mothers, the uncertainties for adoptive parents operating under a patchwork of state laws. ~ Nina Easton

Here's a little secret. He does care about you, but he cares about you for himself. He's keeping you safe on a shelf. I bet he interferes with any guy who might show you some attention while he goes out with every pair of perky tits that steps in his path. He may even marry you someday because I'm guessing you and your cardigans are his parents' wet dream, the perfect ideal of wifey material, but he will own you, D'Arcy. Trust me on this. I know what I'm talking about. Is that what you want? Do you even know what you want? ~ A.S. Green

Very well. We now come to the point. Your mother insists upon your accepting it. Is it not so, Mrs. Bennet?" Mrs. Bennet clenched both her fists. "Yes, or I will never see her again!" she sobbed. "An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth." Mr. Bennet tsk-tsked. "From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do." Lizzy shared a warm smile with her dad. She double-tapped her chest, he double-tapped his, and they did their super secret Favorite Daughter-Daddy handshake. Mrs. Bennet, at the sight of it, broke into sobs anew, and Mr. Collins quietly disappeared down the road, muttering that he would be spending the remainder of his visit at Lucas Lodge, if anybody gave a shit. Which emphatically they did not. ~ J.K. Really

I suppose we could make it work with a young man living in the house. But there would have to be rules--"
"Whatever they are, we'll follow them."
"There can be no hanky-panky--"
"Puh-lease!" Who said hanky-panky these days? "He won't be the one--"
"The one?" Mom asked, her eyes narrowing.
Why don't I just blow it here and now?
"We're just giving him a room, Mom. I promise. I wouldn't be interested in him if he turned out to be Johnny Depp." I gave an exaggerated eye roll. "Well, okay, if he was Johnny Depp, I'd be interested. But seriously, what are the odds?"
Mom's mouth quirked at that, because she had a thing for Johnny Depp, too.
"All right, then," she said, "you can have your ballplayer for the summer."
Yes! Deep inside I was doing a happy dance, but on the outside I did nothing more than smile. If my parents figured out the real plan was to get a boyfriend, they absolutely wouldn't go for it. ~ Rachel Hawthorne

She says suicide is for cowards. This is an uglynasty Momside. She bought a book about it. Tough love. Sour sugar. Barbed velvet. Silent talk. She leaves the book on the back of the toilet to educate me. She has figured out that I don't say too much. It bugs her. ~ Laurie Halse Anderson

It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder, and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~ Phyllis Diller

There's something about a divorce in that even if your parents still love you, the fact that they can't live with each other makes you feel there's something wrong with you. ~ Jack Black

It blows me away that my parents, they really weren't much into theater, but they recognized that in me. When I think about the things they did to support that, I'm blown away. ~ Casey Nicholaw

I have very smart parents. I feel I learned a lot from both of my parents and life experience. ~ Julia Roberts

Parents need all the help they can get. The strongest as well as the most fragile family requires a vital network of social supports. ~ Bernice Weissbourd

I've never been sledding in my life. I've heard of it, have seen it on TV, but my parents have never taken me, just like we've never been to Disney World or watched The Sound of Music. I assumed it was just something white people did. ~ Erika L. Sánchez

Was that all her religious beliefs had ever been then, a set of precepts so deeply inculcated in her that they became automatic, even instinctive? Hear the word God, think He. See the misery of humankind, blame Eve. Obey your parents, be a good girl, vote Trinity Party, never sit with your legs apart. Don't question, just do as you're told. ~ Hillary Jordan

I need to do something about college, but I'm not sure what."

"Where have you decided to apply?"

"Nowhere yet. Any time I think about the schools I've visited, I feel overwhelmed. The campuses are so big that I know I'll get lost. I dread making new friends. And the professors acted too busy to deal with someone like me. My parents will be wasting a huge amount of money."

"Your fears are no different than most high school seniors." He studied me thoughtfully. "Must you go to college?"

I opened my mouth to say Of course, I must - and then shut it again. The concept didn't bother me nearly as much as it should have. Skipping college would be crazy. Right? It was hard enough for a disabled person to find a job, but being disabled with no degree would make it hopeless. "I don't have a choice."

"Perhaps you have more choices than you realize. ~ Elizabeth Langston

YOU'RE IN MY MOUTH, I said. GET OUT OF MY MOUTH. ~ Aimee Bender

That's the thing about parents, isn't it? They don't really want you to live your own life; they want you to correct their mistakes-Mike ~ Sarwat Chadda

Or what about attention deficit disorder, and the litany of negative, even catastrophic associations it carries? Fifteen years ago, it barely existed, but today it's being diagnosed left, right, and sideways. I'm not suggesting that some kids don't have it, or can't benefit from treatment, but ADD (and the fear of our children being diagnosed with it) has saturated our culture like a virus. And the result, of course, is millions of parents buying their children drugs. A parent's internal monologue may go something like this:

If my child doesn't take Ritalin, or Adderal or Concerta, he won't be able to concentrate in school. He'll fall behind. His grades will suffer. He'll be marginalized by his peers. He'll begin hanging out with other low-performing kids. He won't get into college. He'll drift from job to job. He may even end up in jail. All because I didn't address his ADD when he was in kindergarten.

Fear, in my experience, spreads faster than anything else - and the ads for those drugs have done a very nice job scaring the pants off us. ~ Martin Lindstrom

Rituals and celebrations help kids feel connected and valued. This is where the rubber meets the road in terms of "quality time." If parents make an effort to create traditions, and then routinely, reliably practice those traditions, they are sending a message very loudly that their kids aren't just a bothersome distraction from plowing through the to-do list but are the central focus of life. ~ Meg Cox

We hear a great deal about the rudeness of the ris-
ing generation. I am an oldster myself and might be
expected to take the oldsters' side, but in fact I have
been far more impressed by the bad manners of par-
ents to children than by those of children to parents.
Who has not been the embarrassed guest at family
meals where the father or mother treated their
grown-up offspring with an incivility which, offered
to any other young people, would simply have termi-
nated the acquaintance? Dogmatic assertions on mat-
ters which the children understand and their elders
don't, ruthless interruptions, flat contradictions,
ridicule of things the young take seriously some-
times of their religion insulting references to their
friends, all provide an easy answer to the question
"Why are they always out? Why do they like every
house better than their home?" Who does not prefer
civility to barbarism? ~ C.S. Lewis

I sit on my bed and think about Nader McMillan and wonder what I'm going to do. Ignore him. Stand up to him. Avoid him. Be "tough." I think of the stuff Dad has said over the years. How he finally gave up suggesting things. Why are you asking me this? I never figured out what to do about my own bullies. How am I supposed to know what to do with yours? ~ A.S. King

When I was a child growing up in Maine, one of my favorite things to do was to look for sand dollars on the seashores of Maine, because my parents told me it would bring me luck. But you know, these shells, they're hard to find. They're covered in sand. They're difficult to see. ~ Sarah Parcak

There's no constitutional right for your parents to pay for college. ~ Jane Velez-Mitchell

Hell, my parents forgot my birthday, yet threw a freaking party for the family Chihuahua. ~ Rachel Van Dyken

The people who run the circus kidnapped us from our parents. Since we got here, we have all been working in the circus.
We can't see any of our mummies or kiss them OR cuddle up to them. said Adrian.
His tears flowing in his big blue eyes that were the colour of the sky.
We didn't want to listen to our parents when they told us: 'Never, Ever!" talk to strangers.
We all disobeyed and spoke to strangers, and then the strangers stole us away from our parents. ~ Magda M. Olchawska

Our parents are mysterious to us in ways that we can never quite be mysteries to them. ~ Daniel Mendelsohn

The day my parents got swallowed by a rakkhosh and whisked away to another galactic dimension was a pretty craptastic day. The fact that it was actually my twelfth birthday makes it all that much worse. Instead of cake or presents or a party, I spent the day kicking demon butt, traveling through time and space looking for my family, and basically saving New Jersey, our entire world, and everything beyond it. ~ Sayantani DasGupta

I never questioned I would have any trouble doing what I wanted to do. I'm not talking about getting to a certain position - or to success. It was just that I knew I wanted to act, and that I would make my living that way. Having the unconditional support of your parents is really freeing. ~ Tracy Pollan

It was clear to my parents that I had the gift of voice, and they encouraged me to pursue it. ~ Rain Phoenix

I think happiness comes from self-acceptance. We all try different things, and we find some comfortable sense of who we are. We look at our parents and learn and grow and move on. We change. ~ Jamie Lee Curtis

It's in me alone that my parents forever mingle, sweetly, sourly, along separate sugar-phosphate backbones, the recipe for my essential self. I also blend John and Trudy in my daydreams - like every child of estranged parents, I long to remarry them, this base pair, and so unite my circumstances to my genome. ~ Ian McEwan

At their core, Tiger Eyes, Forever ... , and Sally J. Freeman are all books about teenage issues, but to an adult reader, the parents' story lines seem to almost overshadow their daughters. I'm bringing an entirely new set of experiences to these novels now, and my reward is a fresh set of story lines that i missed the first time around. I'm sure that in twenty or thirty years I'll read these books again and completely identify with all the grandparent characteristics. That's the wonderful thing about Judy Blume - you can revisit her stories at any stage in life and find a character who strikes a deep chord of recognition. I've been there, I'm in the middle of this, someday that'll be me. The same characters, yet somehow completely different. (Beth Kendrick) ~ Jennifer O'Connell

After a show, I'll get the 16-year-old white kid whose lip is pierced, his head is shaved and his parents hate him, and the young gangster from the screwed-up 'hood, and they say that now they realize there's someone out there who thinks like they do. ~ Michael Franti

The first gift of Christmas was love. A parent's love. Pure as the first snows of Christmas. For God so loved His children that He sent His son, that someday we might return to Him. ~ Richard Paul Evans

We as parents are our children's first and best role models, and this is particularly true when it comes to their health ... We can't lie around on the couch eating French fries and candy bars and expect our kids to eat carrots and run around the block. ~ Michelle Obama

Sentinels are sort of like Mary, aren't we?" His voice was quiet. "We're alone in the world, taken from our true parents. I like to think of the libraries as our secret garden. Our escape. ~ Brenda Drake

As a child, I remember I always wanted to make my parents happy and give them everything in their lives. ~ Rani Mukerji

When you assume you make a you-know-what out of U and me. Yep, so let's stop assuming so much. We are often quick to explain details to strangers, who we understand might not be reading our minds, but we often assume that those people closest to us, those who share our household such as spouses, children parents and siblings, can read our minds. And we get upset with them when they don't go figure.
I wonder how many angry words are directed not at an action or inaction as would at first appear, but simply at the fact that somebody did not read our minds.
So let's give those people we care most about the benefit of the doubt and do a little less assuming and a little more explaining. ~ David Leonhardt

As I sit down each day and think through how much my parents had to sacrifice in order to send me to school, it leaves me to ask myself at the end of each day what have I done for them today. ~ Abdulazeez Henry Musa

In the 1890s, when Freud was in the dawn of his career, he was struck by how many of his female patients were revealing childhood incest victimization to him. Freud concluded that child sexual abuse was one of the major causes of emotional disturbances in adult women and wrote a brilliant and humane paper called "The Aetiology of Hysteria." However, rather than receiving acclaim from his colleagues for his ground-breaking insights, Freud met with scorn. He was ridiculed for believing that men of excellent reputation (most of his patients came from upstanding homes) could be perpetrators of incest.
Within a few years, Freud buckled under this heavy pressure and recanted his conclusions. In their place he proposed the "Oedipus complex," which became the foundation of modern psychology. According to this theory any young girl actually desires sexual contact with her father, because she wants to compete with her mother to be the most special person in his life. Freud used this construct to conclude that the episodes of incestuous abuse his clients had revealed to him had never taken place; they were simply fantasies of events the women had wished for when they were children and that the women had come to believe were real. This construct started a hundred-year history in the mental health field of blaming victims for the abuse perpetrated on them and outright discrediting of women's and children's reports of mistreatment by men.
Once abuse was denied in this way, the st ~ Lundy Bancroft

There are just hundreds of people that have inspired and influenced me in a number of different ways. First of all, you can't forget your parents and all they've done to help you to get here. ~ Michael P. Anderson

My parents divorced when I was born, and my mother is a political science professor, like a feminist Mormon, which is sort of an oxymoron. ~ Eliza Dushku

Musicians were always coming and going in our house. My parents didn't play much, but they were forever arranging these parties for artists. As a result, they didn't have to play that many records. ~ Erik Hassle