Adelina Amouteru Quotes

We are doomed to be forever young. ~ Marie Lu

I walk over to Teren, then bend down so that my gaze meets his. I watch the rain pour down his face. When was the first time I saw this face? When I was chained to the stake, of course, and he had come over to bend down before me. How poised he had been, then, with his handsome, chiseled face and his mad, pulsing eyes. I smile, realizing that we have switched places now. ~ Marie Lu

Trusting me," Teren murmurs, "is a dangerous game, mi Adelinetta."
"I'm doing more than that," I reply. "For the rest of this journey, you will be my personal guard."
At that, Teren's eyes flare with surprise and anger. "I'm not your lackey, Your Majesty."
"And I'm not Giulietta," I fire back. ~ Marie Lu

I will keep you, until the day I choose not to. You have destroyed and harmed all that is dear to me. In return, I want you to know what that feels like. I will not kill you. I will keep you alive. I will torture you." My voice drops to a whisper. "Until your soul is dead. ~ Marie Lu

The gods gave us powers, Adelina, because we are born to rule. ~ Marie Lu

No, that is not my life without power. My life without power will be one of walking through a crowd without darkness tugging at my heart. It will be seeing Violetta in the living world, smiling again. It will be riding on the back of a horse with Magiano as we crest another mountain, searching for adventure. It will be a life without these whispers in my head. It will be life without my father's ghost.

It will be a life. ~ Marie Lu

Let go of me," I choke out, clawing blindly at Teren. The sharp tang of blood suddenly fills my nostrils, and I realize that it is from his wrists, spreading a film of scarlet around us. Somewhere ahead, the silhouette of our ship looms. We are getting closer.
"I wish I could," Teren spits, dripping venom. "There's nothing I'd like to see more than you in the Underworld, Adelina."
His words spark my fury. He never intended to finish this journey with you. Teren grips my arm again so hard that I scream in pain. He is pulling us both toward the ship, his face set in grim determination.
Then I hear him shout, "But I won't."
But I won't. My fury wavers, turning into bewilderment. ~ Marie Lu

Violetta's voice trembles. "Raffaele is saying that all of us, all Elites, are in danger."

That we are doomed to be forever young. ~ Marie Lu

As the sun starts to rise, I watch as Raffaele bends over Enzo's body, the two of us mourning the prince we both loved. ~ Marie Lu

The complete stillness of my energy is something I have never felt before. I am full of light. I am confused. A strange mix of guilt and wonder swims inside me.
The thought of ruling Kenettra with Enzo at my side - Enzo, who had saved me from certain death, who brought my powers out with a mere touch of his hand on my back, whose own fire awakened my ambitions - thrills me. So why am I here, this close to a boy who is not my prince? Why am I reacting in this way to his touch? ~ Marie Lu

I found a secret place," he whispers. His hand finds mine under the water, tugging on my wrist. "Come with me."
I'm unable to suppress a laugh. "Where are you taking me?" I say in a mock scolding voice.
"I'll beg your forgiveness later, Your Majesty," he teases back, flashing me a grin as he pulls us toward the far end of the pool. ~ Marie Lu

Raffaele says you are lost forever. That you are beyond help. I think he's wrong, but sheds tears for you and shakes his head. I'm trying to convince him." Her whispers turn urgent. "I think I'll try again tomorrow."

I reach up and angrily wipe my tears away. "I don't understand you," I whisper back. "Why do you have to keep trying?"

Violetta's lips tremble with effort. "You cannot harden your heart to the future just because of your past. You cannot use cruelty against yourself to justify cruelty to others." Her gray eyes slide downward, away from my face, until her gaze rests on the lantern burning low near the tent flap. "It is hard. I know you are trying. ~ Marie Lu

Already, I'm starting to forget the face of the man I killed. ~ Marie Lu

After a lifetime of darkness, I want to leave something behind that is made of light. ~ Marie Lu

Teren smiles at me. He takes a step closer. "Ah, mi Adelinetta," he says. His eyes soften in a way that surprises me. "I have missed you. You, more than any other abomination, understand what we truly are." He shakes his head. "Had I known you when I was a young boy ... " He lets that sentence die, leaving me curious. ~ Marie Lu

I saw her, once.

"She passed through our village, through fields littered with dead soldiers after her forces overwhelmed the nation of Dumor. Her other Elites followed and then rows of white-robed Inquisitors, wielding the white-and-silver banners of the White Wolf. Where they went, the sky dimmed and the ground cracked - the clouds gathered behind the army as if a creature alive, black and churning in fury. As if the goddess of Death herself had come.

"She paused to look down at one of our dying soldiers. He trembled on the ground, but his eyes stayed on her. He spat something at her. She only stared back at him. I don't know what he saw in her expression, but his muscles tightened, his legs pushing against the dirt as he tried in vain to get away from her. Then the man started to scream. It is a sound I shall never forget as long as I live. She nodded to her Rainmaker, and he descended from his horse to plunge a sword through the dying soldier. Her face did not change at all. She simply rode on.

"I never saw her again. But even now, as an old man, I remember her as clearly as if she were standing before me. She was ice personified. There was once a time when darkness shrouded the world, and the darkness had a queen."

- A witness's account of Queen Adelina's siege on the nation of Dumor

The Village of Pon-de-Terre

28 Marzien, 1402 ~ Marie Lu

Behold." Magiano spreads his arms in a gesture of pretend triumph. "Revel in its majesty."
I wrinkle my nose. "Are you trying to impress me with a collapsed archway?"
"No faith. No faith at all." He is back to his old self, and it sends a rare thread of joy through my heart. "Follow me," he murmurs. Then he takes a deep breath and dives down, grabbing my hand as he descends. ~ Marie Lu

She opens her eyes.

"Adelina?" she whispers, blinking. And all I can see before me is the little sister who used to braid my hair, who sang to me and whimpered under the stairs, who bandaged my broken finger and came to me when the thunder rolled outside. She is my sister, always, even in death, even beyond.

My heart twists again as I think of what I am doing, and I choke back a sob. Oh, Magiano. I will miss all the days we will never have, all the moments we will never share. Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me.

I open my mouth. I mean to tell my sister I'm sorry, sorry I couldn't save her in the mountains, sorry I didn't listen to her, I didn't tell her more often that I loved her. I am ready to say a thousand words.

But I say none of them. Instead, I say, "The deal is done."

A faint glow encircles Violetta. The pillar vanishes. She sucks in a deep gasp of air, then falls to her knees. She is alive. ~ Marie Lu

I glance at Magiano. "Ready?" I ask.
He winks. Rain soaks us both now, coming down in sheets, and water drips from his high knot of braids. "Always ready for you, my love. ~ Marie Lu

You are a light," she replies gently. "And when you shine, you shine bright. ~ Marie Lu

Adelina, one of them says. I know it is Compasia, the angel of Empathy. There has been another bargain.

I don't understand, I reply. They are so tall, and I am so small.

There is a feeling of light under my body, of wind and stars. There is the disintegration of my form. Then, there is sky.

You will. ~ Marie Lu

And then, as if he understands me better than anyone in the world, he whispers, "It will make this night a little less dark. ~ Marie Lu

Magiano just shrugs. He studies me for a brief moment. What does he see? Then he utters a small laugh. "Just point me in the direction of the royal treasury, Your Majesty," he says, waving a hand in the air. He turns away as he speaks, but not before I catch a hint of sadness on his face. "Then you'll always know where to find me. ~ Marie Lu

How many times have you been called an abomination?" he whispers. "A monster? Worthless?"
Too many times. ~ Marie Lu

And just like that, I feel my power rush back over me in a flood of darkness, filling the empty crevices of my heart and mind with its familiar, poisonous comfort. ~ Marie Lu

None of it was your fault, the whispers in my head argue. You didn't kill him, after all
it was not your blade that ended his life. So why are you the one cast out? You didn't have to return to the Daggers
you didn't need to help them rescue Raffaele. And still they turned on you. Why does everyone forget your good intentions, Adelina? ~ Marie Lu

Why feel guilty for something that isn't your fault?
Because I loved him. And now he is gone. ~ Marie Lu

I smile bitterly at him, then weave an illusion of his face across my own. Raffaele's expression flickers in surprise for a moment before settling back into its pool of calm. "They may have a hard time finding me," I reply.
Raffaele gives me a tight smile in return. "Do not underestimate your enemies, Your Majesty," he says. ~ Marie Lu

You, my righteous little sister? You left me to suffer our father alone. Do you know what it was like for me, to lie bleeding on the floor, while he showered you with dresses in the next bedchamber? Do you know what it was like for our father to threaten to kill me, and then for me to murder him in return? No, you don't. You stand on the sidelines and wait for me to do your dirty work. You hide in the shadows so that I can bleed for you. You give me your pitiful look when I kill, but you do not stop me. And now you judge me for that? ~ Marie Lu

You want us to fear you," she growls at me, speaking now in accented Kenettran. "You think that you can come here and destroy our homes, kill our loved ones - then make us grovel at your feet. You think we will sell you our souls for a few coins." She lifts her chin. "But I am not afraid of you."
"Is that so?" I tilt my head at her curiously. "You should be."
She challenges me with a smile. "You can't even bring yourself to spill our blood." She nods in the direction of Sergio, who has already started to draw his sword. "You have one of your lackeys do it for you. You're a coward queen, hiding behind your army. But you cannot crush our spirits beneath your Roses' heels - you cannot win. ~ Marie Lu

You are powerful, mi Adelinetta," she says, "but you have all the charisma of a burnt potato pudding."
"I like burnt potato pudding. It's smoky. ~ Marie Lu

Please, I whisper, and my voice comes out as quiet as a ghost's. Tell Magiano I love him. Tell him I'm sorry. That I'm grateful. ~ Marie Lu

Don't be afraid," he says with a half smile. "You're with me." His hand tightens around my wrist, tugging me down again playfully. And this time, I feel safe enough to take a deep breath of my own and do as he says. ~ Marie Lu

I am the nightmare. ~ Marie Lu

Why so surprised, White Wolf? he murmurs, smiling a little. There is something in the way he says my Elite name, a secret sweetness.
Why so surprised that you are worthy? ~ Marie Lu

I am numb. I don't know what to do. The absence of my link to Enzo is a yawning chasm, a hollowness I first felt when Teren took Enzo's life in the Estenzian arena. How long had he been a part of my world? How had my life been before he stepped into it? All I can think is that I am losing him all over again, except that I already lost him. ~ Marie Lu

Enzo's eyes flick back to me. He does not ask if I will be okay. His silent approval makes me stand taller. ~ Marie Lu

Your Majesty," he whispers, breathless. A note of amusement creeps into his voice. "You'll ruin me. ~ Marie Lu

The fire in you burns as fiercely as it did when I first met you. ~ Marie Lu

She walks to the boy, tilts her head up at him, and smiles. He bends down to kiss her. Then he helps her onto the horse, and she rides away with him to a faraway place, until they can no longer be seen.
These are only rumors, of course, and make little more than a story to tell around the fire. But it is told. And thus they live on. ~ Marie Lu

I have everything I could ever want here, Adelina," he finally says. "You've handed me what feels like the world's riches, a palace, a life of luxury." He draws closer. "I get to be at your side. What more do I need? ~ Marie Lu

The only way to clamp down on my energy is to erase my emotions, and so I fold them each away, one by one. My sorrow turns to anger, then to ice-cold fury. My soul curls in one itself in defense. I am gone. I am truly gone.
I am not sorry. ~ Marie Lu

You are so full of light," I say after a moment. "You align with joy, and I with fear and fury. If you could see into my thoughts, you would surely turn away. So why would you stay with me, even if return to Kenettra and resume our lives?"

"You paint me as a saint," he murmurs. "But I aligned with greed solely to prevent that."

Even now, he can make my lips twitch with a smile. "I'm serious, Magiano."

"As am I. None of us are saints. I have seen your darkness, yes, and know your struggle. I won't deny it." He touches my chin with one hand. At this gesture, the whispers seem to settle, pushed away where I can't hear them. "But you are also passionate and ambitious and loyal. You are a thousand things, mi Adelinetta, not just one. Do not reduce yourself to that. ~ Marie Lu

The world's deadliest mercenaries choose to serve you, the whispers say, because they have yet to meet me. ~ Marie Lu

Why do you look?" I mutter.
I half expect Magiano to tease me, spitting back one of his sarcastic phrases. But he doesn't smile. "We are drawn to stories," he says in a soft voice, "and every scar carries one." He lifts a hand and places his palm gently against the ruined side of my face, covering the scar.
I look down, embarrassed now. Instinctively, I reach up to brush some of my hair over my face - only to remember that I no longer have long locks.
"Hiding it makes you more beautiful," Magiano says. Then he takes his hand away, exposing my scar again. "But revealing it makes you you." He nods at me. "So wear it proudly. ~ Marie Lu

What is the point of searching for love, when love is nothing but an illusion? ~ Marie Lu

Something blackens your heart, something deep and bitter. It has festered inside you for years, nurtured and encouraged. I've never felt anything like it. ~ Marie Lu

I'm suddenly angry. Why must I lose everything that I care for? Why is love such a weakness? I wish, for an instant, that I didn't need such a thing. ~ Marie Lu

Everything about Enzo whispers of danger, of murder in the name of righteousness. I'm desperate to pull away. I ache for more. I tremble uncontrollably, caught in the middle. ~ Marie Lu

I will wake a hundred times, lost in the madness of this nightmare, until the sunlight streaming through my windows finally burns the scene away. Even then, hours later, I cannot be sure I am not still in my dream.
I am afraid that, one night, I will never wake. I will be doomed to rush to that door over and over again, running from a nightmare in which I am always, forever, lost. ~ Marie Lu

Enzo inherited a throne. Giulietta relied on her royal blood. Queen Maeve rules Beldain because she was born to it.
But true rulers are not born. We are made. ~ Marie Lu

I need to address my people, and I need to look the part. I will walk out onto the balcony with my head held high, fulfilling the fantasy I'd had as a little girl in my father's home. ~ Marie Lu

Adelina, stop."
It is Magiano. Magiano. Stop. The name is a small light, but it is there, and I cling to it in the maelstrom around me. I falter as he reaches me and pulls me into a rough embrace.
"He didn't kill her," Magiano is whispering. "Stop. Stop." His hand cradles the back of my head. ~ Marie Lu

I am tired of being used, hurt, and cast aside. It is my turn to use. My turn to hurt. ~ Marie Lu

I have killed and hurt. I have conquered and pillaged. I have done all of this in the name of my own desires, have done everything in life because of my own selfishness. I have always taken what I wanted, and it has never given me happiness. If I return to the surface, alone, I will forever remember this moment, the moment I decided to choose my own life over my sister's. It will haunt me, even with Magiano at my side, until my death. What I saw for myself in my future is a future I cannot have, not with the past that I have already created. It is an illusion. Nothing more.

Perhaps, after all the lives I have taken, my atonement is to restore life to one. ~ Marie Lu

Tennis is more than just a sport. It's an art, like the ballet. Or like a performance in the theater. When I step on the court I feel like Anna Pavlova. Or like Adelina Patti. Or even like Sarah Bernhardt. I see the footlights in front of me. I hear the whisperings of the audience. I feel an icy shudder. Win or die! Now or never! It's the crisis of my life. ~ Bill Tilden

When my mother tells me to do something, I'll do my own thing. A strong character can be good, but sometimes it is not good. I hope it's good in my case. ~ Adelina Sotnikova

I keep my eyes closed as tightly as I can, but in my mind, everyone in the square looks like my father and they all have his voice. I hate you all. I imagine my hands at their throats, choking, silencing them, one by one. ~ Marie Lu

As you can see, I keep my word," I call to the rest of the crowd. "Do not take advantage of my generosity, and I will not take advantage of your weakness. ~ Marie Lu

If you pledge yourself to the Inquisition, to me, and swear to use your powers and your knowledge to send malfettos back to the Underworld, I will give you everything you've ever wanted. I can grant your every desire. Money? Power? Respect? Done." He smiles. "You can redeem yourself, change from an abomination in the gods' eyes to a savior. You can help me fix this world. Wouldn't it be nice, not having to run anymore?" He pauses, and for a moment, a note of real, painful tragedy enters his voice. "We are not supposed to exist, Adelina. We were never meant to be." We are mistakes. ~ Marie Lu

It's the Olympics. And it was a long way for me. To compete at the Olympic Games, I dreamed of any medal, but frankly speaking, I wanted a gold one. ~ Adelina Sotnikova

Nature is also God's way of communicating with us. Jesus himself used nature to teach us about God. He used birds and flowers, the weather, precious stones ... Looking at nature, we can come to understand God himself. ~ Adelina St. Clair

Figure skating is not a hobby. It's my work, which I want to do, and do well. ~ Adelina Sotnikova

We were never meant to exist, Adelina," he says. "And we will never exist again. But we cannot take the entire world with us." He meets my gaze. "No matter how it has wronged us. ~ Marie Lu

The Olympic dream was born in 2010 during the qualifications to Vancouver. And when I was watching those Olympics from the sidelines, I felt that I wanted to have my Games. I understood that it wouldn't be easy to make them, especially now that in Russia there are a lot of strong girls. ~ Adelina Sotnikova

I laugh with him. I imagine mixing poison into his tea, then watching his face turn purple and anguished; I picture myself leaning over him, looking on patiently, with my chin resting in my hands, admiring his dying, writhing body as I count out the minutes. ~ Marie Lu

Don't forget one weapon just because of another," he says. A flicker of approval flashes in his eyes. "Or you'll find yourself skewered in no time."
"Then maybe you should know which weapons are real. ~ Marie Lu

There must be something more inside of you, Adelina." He picks out my ring finger, then runs one hand along it. My breaths quicken. "Tell me I've at least been given a malfetto daughter of some use. ~ Marie Lu

I shake my head. "I know," I reply. "You are searching for her too."
We stand for a moment, staring out at the stars mirrored in the calm seas. I know why Magiano doesn't look at me. I remind him too much of her.
"I'm sorry," I whisper, after a long pause.
"Don't be." A small, sad smile touches his lips. "She chose it. ~ Marie Lu

and drove out, his beautiful horse hitched behind. Adelina called, "Remember to take the roadway!" He raised his hand ~ Julie Harris

No one ever gives my their kindness without hoping for something in exchange.
Are they any different? Are they all the same? They all want to use you, use you, use you until they get what they want, and then they will toss you aside. ~ Marie Lu

Yes - at the cost of a third of your army. What will happen when you try to seize what remains of Tamoura? When the Beldish strike at you again? Queen Maeve is watching you, I'm sure." He takes a deep breath. "Adelina, you're Queen of the Sealands now. You've annexed Domacca and northern Tamoura in the Sunlands. At some point, your goal should be not to conquer more territories but to keep order in the territories you do have. And you won't achieve that by ordering your Inquisitors to drag unmarked civilians out into the streets and brand them with a hot iron. ~ Marie Lu

Through the whirlwind, I hear my father's harsh whisper.
I know who you really are. Who will ever want you, Adelina?
My fury heightens. Everyone. They will cower at my feet, and I will make them bleed. ~ Marie Lu

Yes, I am the Olympic champion, but this is not the end of it. I want all the gold that there is out there, everything that exists in figure skating. In all events, in all competitions. ~ Adelina Sotnikova