Abuse Survivor Quotes

Though, the type of abuse differs from each individual, all survivors of child abuse deal with a certain extent of trauma, consciously or unconsciously. ~ Patricia Dsouza

The child turns up still trusting these lies to be the truth. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Society must stop the silence and raise their voice to child sexual abuse. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Abused children realize that they cannot rely on their emotions since their innocent love and trust are already crushed and betrayed. They learn that whatever the opinion they do express may be ignored or mocked. ~ Patricia Dsouza

First you try to find a reason, try to understand what you've done so wrong so you can be sure not to do it anymore. After that you look for signs of a Jekyll and Hyde situation, the good and the bad in a person sifted into separate compartments by some weird accident. Then, gradually, you realize that there isn't a reason, and it isn't two people you're dealing with, just one. The same one every time. ~ Helen Oyeyemi

Do not become an accomplice by being silent, voice up! ~ Patricia Dsouza

My abuse will always be part of my memoirs, my past, my history, but will no longer be a front-page in my lifespan ~ Patricia Dsouza

Whole night hanged with panic Sparking tears in those big wide eyes. ~ Patricia Dsouza

I believe we all heal differently, it is a process, and many like me are here to help you as you heal, as you recover. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Give yourself mourning time and comprehend that expressing grief can modify your emotional and physical well being ~ Patricia Dsouza

When people ask me about what made the biggest difference in my healing, I tell them that I was believed and tremendously loved. I never felt blamed or shamed into silence. ~ Aishah Shahidah Simmons

She can't move forward or backward. She is stuck in time. A constant. ~ Mina Rehman

Healing isn't just about pain. It's about learning to love yourself. As you move from feeling like a victim to being a proud survivor, you will have glimmers of hope, pride and satisfaction. Those are natural by-products of healing. ~ Ellen Bass

Each person recovers at their own pace. Healing does not occur with a formula ~ Patricia Dsouza

The sole reason I stand to open it up now is that lots of people who are in pain just like I was, and when they see that there is still hope, they will discover that it is possible to come out of their prison. ~ Patricia Dsouza

We don't widely accept the idea that bad things happen for uncontrollable reasons because of fear. How could that be? If that is true, we can't make sense of it with our cognitive brains. And that is scary. If that is true, there is no way for us to control those things while in human form. And that is scary. So we search for meaning, a less scary understanding. And we usually end up assuming the victim is to blame. ~ Elisabeth Corey

I have to find a place to hide
An island in the sea
Surrounded by a racing tide
Where I can live with me ~ Laurie Matthew

No one can carry that pain out from you nor can anyone heal for you. ~ Patricia Dsouza

We are all born same, we are completely cute, innocent, sweet, and we need that reflection of ourselves as little human beings to live, and I was not receiving that from my mother but there was a caretaker who did give me that. ~ Anneke Lucas

I was in a race to see if I would die from the outside in or the inside out. ~ Laurie Halse Anderson

Steve's laugh was brittle. "Sarah, we all have our own wounds. We're all broken in our own way. Mine might look different than yours, but they were deep enough to enlarge my heart. ~ Talena Winters

I see individuals whose lives have been so protected that they seem like pearls nestled in velvet jewelry cases. I cannot empathize. ~ Wendy Hoffman

Whatever your age, you are the right age to be coming out and telling your truth. Find someone to tell- and tell, tell, tell, until your lungs ache. Tell until you can't tell anymore. It won't take away what happened to you, but it will re-map your life and take away the power from the abuse and the abuser. You are strong and resilient. You are not alone. ~ Patti Feuereisen

Neglect transpires when the accountable adult fails to provide sufficiently for the needs of a child. It may be deliberate and conscious cruelty, or it may be an incapability or unwillingness to care for and nurture a child. ~ Patricia Dsouza

We require to get out of our own built up Cocoons, these need to be worn, softened and freed through. ~ Patricia Dsouza

You possess the right to celebrate your victory, your healing, your recovery. ~ Patricia Dsouza

When I first started to remember specific memories of abuse, I felt like I had a storm cloud over me for about two or three days beforehand. When the memory finally surfaced, I felt like I was alone in a dark cave. I stayed in bed just thinking and crying and eating chocolate. I wrote in my healing journal and talked it out with a friend. I examined what I thought and how I felt and cried some more. It was agonizing. The more issues I faced, the stronger I got. It wasn't a pleasant process, but I knew it would be over in a few days and I would feel alive again. With each memory, I recovered faster and I had longer and longer breaks in between them. Facing them made me stronger. I was able to see more and more of the truth without it overwhelming me. Even though the memories increased in intensity, it was easier to deal with them. ~ Christina Enevoldsen

I am not damaged goods, I am not a product of my past. I am whole! ~ Patricia Dsouza

I can't change the past abuse, but I can change the impact it has on me today! ~ Patricia Dsouza

You are NOT an abuse survivor or victim. Leave your labels elsewhere because they are no longer serving you. ~ Miya Yamanouchi

Desire had never done anything good in her life, so she had divorced it years ago. ~ Talena Winters

This book is dedicated to those who have died as a result of mind control and/or ritual abuse, and those who have lived when they would rather have died. ~ Alison Miller

The experience of childhood sexual abuse leaves some survivors with a high tolerance for pain. Dysfunctional environments require endurance and thick skin. Child survivors sometimes have to commit to sticking things out in order to survive. This pattern of tolerance follows you into adulthood. Instead of using pain as a signal to evaluate and change direction, you may use pain as a signal to try harder. Try harder to please someone. Try harder to control your children. Try harder to be a good friend. Try harder to be successful at a job that you hate. You remain in survival mode that you picked up as a child. Your high tolerance for pain keeps you committed to dysfunctional experiences and relationships that recycle pain from the past. Sometimes, the only way out of this cycle is time in isolation to learn what peace feels like. Sometimes you have to be willing to let go of everything in order to learn how to hold onto anything. ~ Rosenna Bakari

A lot of attention has been given over to the Catholic Churches sexual abuse of children in their care, but this attention seems to have been hijacked by the media and has overshadowed the many thousands of victims that endured physical abuse. ~ Stephen Richards

Childhood abuse is the misuse of power and control which leads to wrong. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Life is really unpredictable. No matter what you serve or how hard you try you still cannot predict the future. ~ Patricia Dsouza

I want to hold his hand, but I know he will shake it free. His eyes are too full of guilt to really see me, to see his reflection in my eyes, the reflection of my hero, the brother who tried always to protect me the best he could. He will never think that he did enough, and he will never understand that I do not think he should have done more. ~ Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

You can do it because this time you will do it for yourself, for your inner existence. For that child who was not able to stand up, because no hand of rescue came on. ~ Patricia Dsouza

I had victory and knew I was going to be fine, no matter what was adding up in my direction. This forever kind of freedom is amazing. ~ Patricia Dsouza

When they begin to feel that others don't love them, they already consider their worth and consider that they are not worth living at all. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Your own story matters. It's either a victor's journey or a victim's lament. The decision is in your hands.
Exceptional ~ Patricia Dsouza

If the abuse has taken place for a really long period of time, it becomes more and tougher and challenging as well. ~ Patricia Dsouza

One area where this misperception has hit hard has been research on child sexual abuse. Despite an explosion of research on the issue over recent decades, most research reported in the literature is focused on girls. There is significantly less attention given to boys, and, in fact, prior to 1980 it is difficult to find any research involving males who have been sexually abused. ~ Jan L. Frayne

I was becoming a product of society, a hardened juvenile! Now I was becoming rebellious and hateful. ~ Stephen Richards

Most of our informants [incest survivors] remembered their mothers as weak and powerless, finding their only dignity in martyrdom. ~ Judith Lewis Herman

I was worthy of healing my scars and so are you. ~ Patricia Dsouza

If all of human knowledge is like a library that we can borrow from or add to, then when men don't put these kinds of stories [(their abuse from others)] on the shelves, nobody can borrow them--we all miss out. ~ Oliver Thorn

It wasn't some mysterious adverse personality trait that comprises of who I am, it unquestionably had a source - A cradle of years of unprocessed trauma owing to sexual, emotional, mental, verbal and physical ill-treatment. ~ Patricia Dsouza

I was so moved that she remembered my birthday that I cried harder than I had in years. When I returned her call, she told me her computer was broken and she couldn't afford to replace it. My heart fell. As I had done so many times before, I went to her rescue. Still on the phone, I went online and bought her a new laptop, top-of-the-line. That was what she had really called for, She thanked me and hung up. I went to Casey, sobbing. Soon afterward, I closed the bank account and asked my mom to not ask me for any more gifts or money. Now my relationship with my mom is very limited, and it's still very painful for me. She continues to occasionally send me bills she can't pay. I respond by telling her that I love her but I cannot pay her bills. ~ Olga Trujillo

Our scars make us who we are: let's wear them proudly and throw this shame aside because it was never ours to bear'

"Tell me you're sorry, Daddy" (P:187) ~ Caryn Walker

Do not let your voice disappear! Protect our children from the predators of our society. ~ Patricia Dsouza

As survivors, we've been conditioned to be victims sexually. Many of us have never learned to say no or to set limits on our sexual activities ... To heal, it's important that we take control, that we make active choices concerning if, when, and how we want to explore sexuality. Especially in the beginning, you need to put your own needs about sex ahead of anyone else's. ~ Ellen Bass

Sounds of depression
remembering rejection
Hope turns to despair
black roses everywhere

Keep hearing echoes
voices in my mind
repeating endless lies
evil in disguise ~ Diana Rasmussen

You hold the ability to build it or ruin it. It's entirely up to you. It's definitely possible. ~ Patricia Dsouza

You pulled through it, you are not just a survivor, but a Victor. ~ Patricia Dsouza

When I felt as though I had reached land, it was like I was on a deserted sandy beach, feeling isolated and afraid to share with anyone the memories that haunted me. ~ Erin Merryn

She could do this. She was stronger now. This was her chance to prove it. ~ Talena Winters

Mia bottled all this up inside of her and just couldn't manage it any longer. Mia would feel like it was entirely her fault, what he did stay with her always. ~ Patricia Dsouza

I opened my eyes and felt better, exhausted but relieved of a burden. The pressure to tell and the weight of the emotions had been with me for weeks. Now that I'd told what had happened, the burden lifted a bit. ~ Olga Trujillo

Are you attentive when your inner self-speaks to you? ~ Patricia Dsouza

Many survivors have such profound deficiencies in self-protection that they can barely imagine themselves in a position of agency or choice. The idea of saying no to the emotional demands of a parent, spouse, lover or authority figure may be practically inconceivable. Thus, it is not uncommon to find adult survivors who continue to minister to the needs of those who once abused them and who continue to permit major intrusions without boundaries or limits. Adult survivors may nurse their abusers in illness, defend them in adversity, and even, in extreme cases, continue to submit to their sexual demands. ~ Judith Lewis Herman

A victorious person knows to own his failure, he is aware how to bring out good, even in the worst form of failures. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Add to your self-esteem by coming out in the open and speaking about what you went though. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Had I not been dissociative, I never would have survived. ~ Wendy Hoffman

Just as much as the media portray child sexual exploitation as being a 'hidden' crime, then that is no less of a case with child physical abuse. ~ Stephen Richards

From spending ten years in hell and coming to this regime of kindness was a shock. It was so much of a shock, it was unbelievable. I was like an untamed animal, I couldn't accept it and I just wouldn't accept it. ~ Stephen Richards

Controlling my environment was still a compelling need for me. I did everything I could to not be surprised by anything...

Looking back, I think that my need to predict how my day was going to unfold was a direct response to the amount of chaos in my childhood. ~ Olga Trujillo

You may never be able to keep up with someone else's steps, either you may end up being far behind or far gone. Pick your path, not someone else's ~ Patricia Dsouza

You may not succeed at first or not always, but you will definitely find ways that don't contribute towards your journey and you will know not to take that road the next time. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Naw, I say. Mr ____, can tell you, I don't like it at all. What is it to like? He git up on you, heist your nightgown round your waist, plunge in. Most times I pretend I ain't there. He never know the difference. Never ast me how I feel, nothing. Just do his business, get off, go to sleep.
She start to laugh. Do his business, she say. Do his business. Why, Miss Celie. You make it sound like he going to the toilet on you.
That's what it feel like, I say.
She stop laughing. ~ Alice Walker

You might think the Bangkok Hilton (the nickname of a fictional prison in Bangkok) was tough, well that was paradise compared to this place! ~ Stephen Richards

I was used, fucked, broken, toyed with and violated from the age of six. ~ James Rhodes

Stay strong and stand firm in your resistance. ~ Patricia Dsouza

I value and honor the way that my suffering brings me to further search and surrender. ~ Maureen Brady

Why me" goes along to haunt many survivors even today. Why was I abused? Or Why was I not protected? ~ Patricia Dsouza

I shoot the man who told me my womanism is of the devil
As if he knew the demons that trouble me
These demons that trouble me
Have no trouble shooting you
They shoot you
They will not pray
For God's forgiveness
I always knew
I had a little bit of heathen in me.
Always knew
I had a lot of woman in me.
We shoot you ~ Hannah V. Sawyerr

You are a survivor, at times you may not yet experience it, but the fact is that the worst and the cruelest part of your life is over. ~ Patricia Dsouza

I wanted my mother to love me. Despite all the torture and brutality. ~ Wendy Hoffman

And as the ground gets farther and farther away you swear to yourself that you're going to tell someone how bad it is, you're gonna stop pretending like none of these things are happening, but by the time the ground is coming toward you again you are already polishing your story. ~ Carmen Maria Machado

I can just conceive of the pit of despair, the notion of being powerless and the essence of existence through it entirely ~ Patricia Dsouza

The worst part ever is discoursing about the abuse to anyone you trust in the family or friends and when they prefer not to believe in you, that feeling of being deserted by people you trusted and spoke to is even more painful than the whole trauma of the abuse and insult. ~ Patricia Dsouza

While a psychiatric diagnosis can serve a purpose in treatment plans, it should not become a tool to discredit a person's disclosure of abuse. ~ Lee Ann Hoff

I am free because I fought for freedom, I am a Survivor. ~ Patricia Dsouza

I don't want to wear this anymore," I pleaded. "It's a servant's uniform."
"It's a soilder's uniform. ~ Leigh Bardugo

Being survivors signifies that we have recognized that we have been through a lot that should never have taken place and we now hope to let our wounds heal and recuperate. ~ Patricia Dsouza

That is when I knew that my past can never change, but my correlation with it can definitely change. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Discover how to convey in a right way. ~ Patricia Dsouza

There is an intensified risk for a child living in a household experiencing domestic violence, because their basic childhood requirement is not being met, in addition to the demand for care and protection by their parents. ~ Patricia Dsouza

when these little ones don't receive the love, they need in their homes, they seek attention outside. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Are you capable to truly distinguish the person you envision in the mirror? ~ Patricia Dsouza

Parents that provide a nonviolent, fostering, strong and steady background for their children assist in impede violence and abuse in their households. ~ Patricia Dsouza

I experience what it is to exist in perpetual fear, afraid, totally controlled, manipulated, ashamed at all times and many more things one can't still think to talk around. ~ Patricia Dsouza

I alone can heal myself, I alone am responsible for it, I alone have the authority and control over my healing, I am answerable to my healing and I alone can do it. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Abuse ambushed my life, I could not love myself truly and could never have a healthy relationship, they were either abused or completely impaired. ~ Patricia Dsouza

I wanted to go to a few therapy sessions and be back to normal. As I saw it, the panic attacks were the problem. What I really wanted was to stop having them. I genuinely thought I could do that. I didn't want to think about the past. ~ Olga Trujillo

I recall as a child when I got so hostile that I didn't know whom to trust anymore, and then I would still act as if everything was alright. I would put that brilliant smile; which people love about me still right away. I am told to have the very beautiful smile, that smile became my signature throughout my life. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Healing has its own process, it's a development that considers its own form. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Survivors who choose to heal are extraordinary people. ~ Patricia Dsouza

I knew I did not deserve help, because this was not real trauma. He was a kid, not a criminal. Accomplished, not dangerous. He was the one who lost everything. I was just the nobody it happened to. ~ Chanel Miller

Children are naive, they don't possess enough skills to be able to recognize the balance between the truth and a lie. ~ Patricia Dsouza