Olivia Gatwood Quotes

No one was expecting me but everyone is relieved I am here. I am dressed perfectly for this weather. I am so glad I chose this outfit. I know exactly how to dance to this music.[...] I can make anyone fall in love with me, as long as they aren't close by.

I am nine.
We are bored
and Karen is dying.

We drove to Austin
that summer
so Sarah's dad-

who described Karen as
/the great and impossible love/
of his life, who taught us

the word /lymphoma/ and then,
the concept of the prefix,
how it explains where the tumor lives-

could say goodbye.

The house is a rind
spooned out by the onset of death,
what's left in the medicine cabinet

full of razors & we are hungry
& alone & sitting
on the living room floor

where the light
from a naked window
slices the hardwood

like a melon, brandishes
each, individualfuzz
on my scabbed calf

a field of erect, yellow poppies
& we have been alive as girls
long enough to know

to scowl at this reveal
& what better time
than now to practice removal.

Once, I watched my mother
skin a potato in six
perfect strokes

I remember this
as Sarah teaches me
to prop up my leg
on the side of the tub

and runs the blade
along my thing, /See?/
she says, /Isn't that so much better?/

Before we left Albuquerque
her father warned us,
/She will have no hair/

a trait
we have just
begun to admire

except, of course
for the hair he is talking about
we hold against our n

I once heard the word 'conversation'
described as a progression of exchanges
but there is no progress here
so maybe I will instead compare this
to the bullet drop - the idea that if you shoot
a gun & drop a bullet from the same location
they will hit the floor at the same time,
hundreds of feet apart.

("The Lover as a Dream")

blush so pink like learn
what your face is good for
everyone is nauseous

blush so pink like rash, infection
so pink like itch and burn

blush so pink like learn
how to love quieter, circus girl
it's making us all sick.

They see us as kids now, but the beatdowns will be different when they don't. There is a special hatred reserved for women and women alone.

It's easy to hurt someone who looks just like you, especially when you hate yourself.

i am not afraid of blood which is also part of being a girl

16. Laughter is not about humor,
it is about acknowledging a shared joy.
Laughter is about bonding.

EXAMPLE: WHEN I HEAR MEN LAUGHING,
I DO NOT ENTER THE ROOM.
I CRAWL HOME IN THE DARK.

("Mans/Laughter")

I want to write a poem for the women on Long Island
who, when I show them the knife I carry in my purse,
tell me it's not big enough,

("Ode to the Women On Long Island")

The men re-tighten my bolts just for safe measure.
The men open my car door, Ladies first.
The men are always helping.

One man asks how I reach the pedals.
One man asks where my daddy is.
One man opens his trunk and says,
Bet you're small enough to fit.

Sometimes, the writer in me wants to remember just so I can give you a story.

I kicked and screamed my way through it and so will you, I can tell by the way that you walk.

Reader, I cannot promise you will be less afraid when you finish this book, but I hope you will feel more able to name what lives inside you.

it's just that i am not afraid of blood which is also part of being a girl. but being the only girl means making yourself lose when you've won too much so i bounce the coin off the rim of the shot glass and let johnny slice me open.

The truth is: It is a privilege to have your body looked for.

You must know the width of the knife and how it ruined you, name the organs it kissed.

They will tell you home is safe zone.
No, bitch face is safe zone.
Bitch face is home.
Bitch face is cutting off the ladder,
willing to burn in the apartment,
if it means he can't get in.