Lish McBride Quotes

I had an affinity for pandas. Something about clumsy vegetarians struck a chord with me.

You couldn't really tell people you weren't out performing your civic duties because you were too busy raising the dead.

Wind does not discriminate - it touches everyone, everything. He liked that about wind.

I'm pretty sure you could actually grate cheese of his abs.
... I had a sudden image of him using his abs to grate my face.

Thanks for not talking with your fists," I said. I have a little sister, and I'm not sure I'd be as understanding with any of her boyfriends.
"I've seen you fight," he said, turning. "It would've been a terribly short conversation.

Ramon looked closely at the little guy as he ate. "Maybe he's Jewish. I mean, if Sammy Davis Jr. could convert to Judaism, why not a chupacabra? We should name him Harry Mendelbaum."
I held up my arms in protest. "You're all racist. Now shut up. We'll call him Taco von Precious of Svenenstein. There, everybody happy?"
"Isn't von the same thing as of?" Frank asked. "Wouldn't that be kind of redundant?"
"You're redundant," I said.

If you picked up the Life of Frank movie case at Scarecrow Video, the best review on the back would just say, 'Meh.

But nowhere in the file had anyone said, "Oh, and by the way, he runs like a gazelle with an espresso addiction." At least not in the parts I'd skimmed.

I slid back into our booth. My pie was still there. For some reason, that seemed like it shouldn't be. Hadn't I been gone a long time? I felt like a death should resonate, like the whole diner should have felt it. The pie should have crumbled into dust by now. People should be somber. But the Goth kids still laughed over their coffee, the drunks were still drunk, and my pie refused to mourn.

Fear, left unchecked, can spread like a virus.

You have to ask it something it knew when it was alive. People don't become omniscient just because they have keeled over.

Please stop, I said politely - he was that big. One should always mind one's manners around big things.

There were no windows in my bedroom, so I had to sit up and read my clock to figure out how angry I should be at my visitor. Eight A.M. I hated whoever woke me up. Had they come an hour earlier, I would have also hated their families and any household pets.

Minion looked into the fragile belly of the duck for the third time. 'It's still not here, Master.' He shook his head in a slow, confused fashion. 'Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.

Sam, you need experts on this, and I love you, but - "
"I'm so new I have that new-car smell about me?

Sometimes life offers you up that kind of dichotomy, that soul-shearing rift of two very different things happening at once.

Talking is great, but sometimes a well-placed uppercut is really more efficient.

Iced coffee, on a hot day, can perform miracles.

Can you just tell them we don't need Jesus, Girl Scout cookies, or whatever the Mormons worship, and let me lie here in peace?

I stared at the pictogram of a burger nestled between similar representations of shakes, sodas, and fries, on the front of my register. I wondered why humankind seemed so dead set on destroying all of its accomplishments. We draw on cave walls, spend thousands of years developing complex language systems, the printing press, computers, and what do we do with it? Create a cash register with the picture of a burger on it, just in case the cashier didn't finish the second grade. One step forward, two steps back
like an evolutionary cha-cha. Working here just proved that the only thing separating me from a monkey was pants.

And someone, somewhere, was having an even worse time of it than me. I tried to keep that in mind. No matter how crappy your life, someone will probably beat you in the my-life-is-crap category. Not that I don't let myself whine a little now and then, but sometimes it's good to keep your misery in perspective

You could keep someone physically alive with machines, but that didn't qualify as fully alive. If they were missing that spark, that intangible thing that made people who they were, then they weren't really with this world anymore. They had moved on, despite the desperate pumping and whirring of modern medicine's machinery.

My name is Samhain Corvus LaCroix. I am a necromancer.
Now, if only I could say that with a straight face.

Hi, my name is Ashley, and I'll be your Harbinger today. I will be acting as an interim instructor for all your necromancy needs." She flashed her best stewardess smile and gave a little Vanna wave.
"Ashley, as delighted as I am to meet you, don't you think it might be hard to teach me? I'm in a cage that you can't get into. Oh, and - " I grabbed the bars with both hands, "I'm a little distracted right now by the fact that I'm being held by a psychotic killer."
Ashley cocked a single eyebrow, a look of mild amusement on her face. "Geez," she said, looking at Brid. "Is he always this big of a drama queen?

What," he said slowly, "do you think you're doing here?"
"I work here." My lips felt cracked and dry all of a sudden. He tightened his grip on me and pulled me closer. Not really a place I wanted to be. I swallowed hard.
"Not here, fool. Seattle."
"I live here.

Aves hasn't mentioned a boyfriend," Lock chimed in, "and we're just dying to hear all about you." Liar. My friends were filthy lying sadists.

Life is a series of calculated risks, James. I happen to think that this one is worth it.

Essentially, the whole time I'd been here, the security staff hadn't been paid. I would have been harassing the management too, though I probably would have started with a discussion and not so much jumping straight to peeing on someone's bed. You have to work up to that sort of thing. Still, I had essentially staged a hostile takeover, which did kind of explain why they'd been going on the offensive.

I know you feel raw, and I know the pack is begging for swift retribution. But you must remember that you are taoiseach, not them. You're the leader, and they are to follow what you decide, not the other way around. Don't let your emotions sway you. The pack doesn't need you armed with a torch and pitchfork screaming for vengeance.

I had no idea what I was paying James, but based on his picnic-assembling skills alone, he needed a raise.

He was not used to being at a loss. Usually, he was the gentleman with the plan. Every little detail cataloged and put in its place. But now he had no place, and the details were everywhere.

I wanted to howl until I was nothing but sound.

Arriving on Bainbridge Island is the opposite of arriving in Seattle. When you got in your car and waited to unload off the ferry in Seattle, you saw the Space Needle, cars, and a mound of urban construction. Once you exit the ferry terminal on Bainbridge, however, it's mostly trees. Pine as far as the eye can see. Well, pines, firework and coffee stands, and eventually a casino. You drive through the Port Madison Indian Reservation when you leave the island. I couldn't help but smile as I went past the casino. I didn't really get gambling, since I'd never had money to throw away, but as I passed through all the beautiful countryside that I'm sure once belonged to the tribe, I sort of hoped they would rob the white man blind. Perhaps not politically correct, but the feeling was there all the same.

You want waffles?" I tried to keep the skepticism from my voice. "No firstborn or a pot of gold?"
"I'm not a leprechaun, Sam. And what would I do with a baby?" Her eyebrow shot back up, and she crossed her arms. "I want waffles. Take it or leave it."
I glanced at Brid, who was staring at Ashley shrewdly.
"Let's talk numbers," she said. "Are we talking, like, twenty waffles all at once? Or a waffle a week for six months? What?"
"Every day for two years," Ashley said.
"That's outrageous," Brid sputtered.

Now simply wasn't the time to stray from comfortable paths. I also didn't want any first-kiss kind of stories to involve the phrase "a few feet from a fresh corpse." I'm particular that way.

That's what happens when you force someone to choose. Maybe they pick option A, maybe they pick option B, but most will go for a third option that isn't asking them to pick favorites in the first place.

Today Ramon defended the garbage bin by Plumpy's back door, and I defended a shiny silver Mercedes because, according to Ramon, it represented the privileged white aristocracy of America trying to keep the Latino man down.

"Our duel," Ramon said, spinning his broom like a bo staff, "will represent the struggle our nation's currently engaged in."

"Please, we both know you're just going for home team advantage."

"You wound me, Sam. I can't help it if your crackerlike oppression gives me the better playing field." He did a quick hamstring stretch. "Suck it up."

"Fine," I said, "then I get the handicap."

"Sam, you're Texas. Texas always gets the handicap."

"I'm Team Texas again?"

He grinned, rolled his shoulders, and wiggled his arms, loosening them.

I gave up and nodded at the Mercedes. It looked old and expensive, especially in our parking lot. "Shiny."

Ramon snorted. "Classic. Check out the gullwing doors."

"Fine. Classic Shiny."

Ramon tossed an empty Plumpy's cup into the Dumpster. "Sometimes, Sammy, I question your manhood."

"A car is to get you from place to place. That's it."

Ramon shook his head at my ignorance.

"Whatever. Just try not to dent the car, Team Mexico."

"It's Team South America," he said.

"You do know that Mexico is in North America, right?"

"Yeah, but I have the whole contin

There'd been some nights when my fat ass had saved my ass (ba-dum-tsh).

You know what the great thing about babies is? They are like little bundles of hope. Like the future in a basket.

If she ran, at least her body still had motion, even if her brain was mired under responsibility.

If you're going to think and be depressed, you might as well do it with pie, right?

Don't let your imagination run off with theirs. There is no proof that he did anything to our father. When farmers fear for their livestock, they take down every wolf indiscriminately - don't let the pack do that. Maybe someone like Sam did this, but not Sam.

On top of all that, you're naked. And while I'm going to hate myself for this later, could you put on some clothes? At least just for a little while, so I can think. Then you can go right back to being naked. All the time. With my full blessing.

There were upsides to the whole mess. While Douglas was holding me hostage, I'd met a girl - I mean, screw dating websites and house parties; apparently all the really eligible ladies are being held in cages these days. I would have liked to see Brid fill out a dating questionnaire, though. What would she put? "Hi, my name is Bridin Blackthorn. I'm next in line to rule the local werewolf pack. I like long walks on the beach and destroying my enemies. I have four older brothers, so watch your step. We'll be forming a queue to the left for potential suitors."
And, trust me, there would be a queue.

People often talk about the pain and degradation of being bullied. No one really talks about the cost. Not that money is more important than those other things, but having to pay the expenses of your own humiliation just rubbed rock salt into the wound.

Douglas's fridge was a stainless-steel masterpiece. I'm not that into appliances or anything, but this one was nice and probably cost more than my last apartment. I had the strange desire to hug it every time I came into the kitchen.

Most people felt lost after high school. Sometimes I felt like I'd never really been found in the first place.

Pity. What a useless emotion when you don't act on it. Pity is supposed to trigger compassion.

Mrs. Winalski owned a candy-apple-red 1965 Mustang GT convertible, and she drove it like she could die at any minute and needed to get five things done before that happened.

When you break up with someone, and I'm not talking casual breakups here, it's hard to take the sudden absence of such an important person in your life. It reminded me of when I'd stopped going to school and the weird uneasy feeling I'd gotten afterward, like I was forgetting to do something. My life until that point had pivoted around some form of education, and all of a sudden, it was gone. Homework, classes, running around, and then – bam – nothing but a life of work stretching out before you. No one prepares you for that feeling or even mentions it. You just suddenly have a gap and have to decide how to fill it.

A break up is like that gap, only much, much more painful. One day the person you talked to constantly or did stuff with is just absent. Gone. Poof. And even though I'm not one of those people who has to be in a relationship all the time, I was feeling at a loss.

No wonder I'd always felt lost. I actually was. The knowledge felt terrible, but in a strange way, it also felt good. Now I knew why I'd never connected to anything. Why I felt like I was outside the world around me, moving at a different speed from everyone else. That amputated piece of me explained everything, even why I'd failed at college. But that kind of blanket excuse can be dangerous. Crutches usually are.