Julie Burchill Quotes

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To believe that one, or even three, mates can supply all the things one needs from one's friends is as stupid as believing married couples must do everything together.
Julie Burchill Quotes: To believe that one, or
Lots of women love to accuse men of being immature when the fellow in question displays a reluctance to 'commit.'
Julie Burchill Quotes: Lots of women love to
May I just single out for salutations, on the 'anti-war' side: Pop Stars For Appeasement, Dancers Against Democracy, Actors For Apathy, Fashionistas For Fascism and Jugglers For Genocide. All of them united under that flaccid flag of convenience, Show-Offs For Saddam.
Julie Burchill Quotes: May I just single out
As with most liberal sexual ideas, what makes the world a better place for men invariably makes it a duller and more dangerous place for women.
Julie Burchill Quotes: As with most liberal sexual
I won't be going to any New Year's Eve parties because I think they're naff. No one over the age of 15 should bother going to parties.
Julie Burchill Quotes: I won't be going to
Rachel Cusk's books are like pop-up volumes for grown-ups, the prose springing out of the page to bop you neatly between the eyes with its insights.
Julie Burchill Quotes: Rachel Cusk's books are like
I feel I'm trying to get this really crap car going, and it just keeps stalling on me. And then other times I feel like my life's a train thundering toward me, and I'm in a car stuck on the crossroads and can't get out. Isn't it great being young!
Julie Burchill Quotes: I feel I'm trying to
I didn't cry when I left free-booting, smash-and-grab papers that would have appeared to be far more natural homes for me and, at the risk of being vulgar, paid far better for my services.
Julie Burchill Quotes: I didn't cry when I
I'll declare my own interest right here at the start and admit that, like the vast majority of people, I find youthful looks appealing.
Julie Burchill Quotes: I'll declare my own interest
Tears are sometimes an inappropriate response to death. When a life has been lived completely honestly, completely successfully, or just completely, the correct response to death's perfect punctuation mark is a smile.
Julie Burchill Quotes: Tears are sometimes an inappropriate
Covering up, so far as I can see, is often the accompaniment to far more truly shameful behaviour than stripping off.
Julie Burchill Quotes: Covering up, so far as
Graham Greene famously said that all writers need a chip of ice in their heart; Cusk can come across as the most beautiful ice palace of stalactites and stalagmites, and some people find her company, albeit by proxy, about as inviting as a long weekend in a walk-in frigidaire.
Julie Burchill Quotes: Graham Greene famously said that
Transsexualism is, basically, just another, more drastic twist on the male menopause
Julie Burchill Quotes: Transsexualism is, basically, just another,
As a child, I wanted only two things - to be left alone to read my library books, and to get away from my provincial hometown and go to London to be a writer. And I always knew that when I got there, I wanted to make loads of money.
Julie Burchill Quotes: As a child, I wanted
It has been said that a pretty face is a passport. But it's not, it's a visa, and it runs out fast.
Julie Burchill Quotes: It has been said that
Sadly, a lot of what passes for feminism these days is just moaning about men, congratulating ourselves on nothing in particular, and mocking them for being big kids while doing everything we can to keep them that way.
Julie Burchill Quotes: Sadly, a lot of what
Families, generally, suck. And I say that as someone who, like my husband, had parents who proved the proverbial exception to the rule.
Julie Burchill Quotes: Families, generally, suck. And I
Gluttony and idleness are two of life's great joys, but they are not honourable.
Julie Burchill Quotes: Gluttony and idleness are two
And call me a pig, but isn't it brilliantly refreshing how early the Dutch eat dinner? When they're still laying out the cutlery in achingly hip Barcelona, they're hanging the Closed sign on the restaurant doors of old Amsterdam.
Julie Burchill Quotes: And call me a pig,
The terrorist attacks were a tragedy for the people who died or were injured, and for their families and friends. For the rest of us, they were a wake-up call as to what type of lunatics we are dealing with. And sleepwalking our way back into ill-sorted, dewy-eyed people personal politics is the last thing we need to set us up for the fight ahead. Come on you liberals, don't give me the morbid pleasure of saying, 'I told you so' again.
Julie Burchill Quotes: The terrorist attacks were a
Because I was an only, I had more things, and I remember early on the kick I got from giving stuff away. Despite all the myths about only children not being able to share, actually I've never knowingly met a stingy one.
Julie Burchill Quotes: Because I was an only,
If you want sex, have an affair. If you want a relationship, buy a dog.
Julie Burchill Quotes: If you want sex, have
A cynic should never marry an idealist. For the cynic, marriage represents the welcome end of romantic life, with all its agony and ecstasy. But for the idealist, it is only the beginning.
Julie Burchill Quotes: A cynic should never marry
Amsterdam has more than 150 canals and 1,250 bridges, but it never seems crowded, nor bent and bitter from fleecing the tourist.
Julie Burchill Quotes: Amsterdam has more than 150
My favourite spectator sport is watching people who should know better searching for something (and often claiming to find it) where it never could be. Women claiming to find feminism in Islam is a good one.
Julie Burchill Quotes: My favourite spectator sport is
Presley sounded like Jayne Mansfield looked - blowsy and loud and low.
Julie Burchill Quotes: Presley sounded like Jayne Mansfield
The pictures from the first professional photo session that the young David
Beckham submitted himself to are extraordinary. He has a barely suppressed
smile, as though he and the cameraman are complicit in the understanding
that this is not yet David Beckham we see and that there is an element of
deceit in selling the photographs as such
Julie Burchill Quotes: The pictures from the first
People - and I include myself - get fat because they choose pleasure over self-denial.
Julie Burchill Quotes: People - and I include
Sex, on the whole, was meant to be short, nasty and brutish. If what you want is cuddling, you should buy a puppy.
Julie Burchill Quotes: Sex, on the whole, was
It shouldn't come as any surprise that those who choose acting as a profession are phonies who live in a fantasy world. What is surprising is how many of them are blissfully unaware of it.
Julie Burchill Quotes: It shouldn't come as any
When I started at the 'Guardian,' though, I couldn't think of anything we saw eye to eye on, except feminism, and even this would soon be arguable as 'Guardian' writers queued up to drool over Eminem.
Julie Burchill Quotes: When I started at the
Prostitution is the supreme triumph of capitalism. When the sex war is won prostitutes should be shot as collaborators for their terrible betrayal of all women, for the moral tarring and feathering they give indigenous women who have had the bad luck to live in what they make their humping ground.
Julie Burchill Quotes: Prostitution is the supreme triumph
Hooliganism incarnate, a walking, talking, screaming, squawking metaphor for What's Wrong With Young People Today.
Julie Burchill Quotes: Hooliganism incarnate, a walking, talking,
When did women whose looks are not their living start conducting themselves like the simpering inmates of an Ottoman empire seraglio?
Julie Burchill Quotes: When did women whose looks
I am not one of those fat birds who feels miserable because models are thin. Frankly, I feel more insulted by the idea that unless I see other fat birds in fashion magazines, I will be reduced to a sniveling wreck of a human being.
Julie Burchill Quotes: I am not one of
Knowing that the 'Sex and the City' chicks now rack up almost two centuries between them, why do some of us fuss and hiss about a bit of retouching on their forthcoming film poster?
Julie Burchill Quotes: Knowing that the 'Sex and
There's something brave and touching about game girls of all ages keeping themselves smart in hard times - one thinks of those wonderful women during World War II drawing stocking seams in eyebrow pencil up the back of legs stained with gravy browning because nylons were so hard to get hold of.
Julie Burchill Quotes: There's something brave and touching
I have always voted Labour and I always will. I have got to have one stupid, bovine part of me and that's the part that votes Labour.
Julie Burchill Quotes: I have always voted Labour
When I moved to Brighton from London in 1995, I was struck by what I thought of as its townliness. A town, it seemed to me, was that perfect place to live, neither city nor country, both of which like to think they are light years apart but actually have a great deal in common.
Julie Burchill Quotes: When I moved to Brighton
I am firmly of the opinion that women who make a lot of effort to hang onto their looks in middle age (unless they are beauties, entertainers or prostitutes) are rather sad, as one should surely have something more substantial to recommend one by this time, such as kindness or cleverness.
Julie Burchill Quotes: I am firmly of the
What sort of sap doesn't know by now that picture-perfect beauty is all done with smoke and mirrors anyway?
Julie Burchill Quotes: What sort of sap doesn't
The Feminist Me says that a woman's right to her own body should be inviolate at all times, free from fear of peeping paps.
Julie Burchill Quotes: The Feminist Me says that
It's received wisdom that the English are uniquely child-unfriendly.
Julie Burchill Quotes: It's received wisdom that the
It seems that one moment I was this little kid only caring about animals and flowers and stuff, and then the next minute I was this raging stew of hormones. I don't know if you've ever been a raging stew of anything, but I wouldn't particularly recommend it.
Julie Burchill Quotes: It seems that one moment
People often yearn back to more innocent times, but more and more, as I get older, I find myself hankering after more jaded days.
Julie Burchill Quotes: People often yearn back to
Youth, health, wealth and beauty are meant to be fuel, to be burned in pursuit of pleasure, and not fruit to be pickled in anticipation of some future famine. (Hang on a minute and I'll get my sequins out and give you a quick rendition of 'My Way')
Julie Burchill Quotes: Youth, health, wealth and beauty
My second husband believed I had such a fickle attitude to friendship that each Friday he would update the list of my 'Top Ten' friends in the manner of a Top Of The Pops chart countdown.
Julie Burchill Quotes: My second husband believed I
One of the few ways in which I feel I've actually matured is that as I've grown older I do find the concept of 'men' mystifying, whereas when I was a feisty young thing I was forever saying 'The most fun part of being a feminist is frightening men!'
Julie Burchill Quotes: One of the few ways
A good part - and definitely the most fun part - of being a feminist is about frightening men.
Julie Burchill Quotes: A good part - and
Women, more often than not, do things which aren't remotely relaxing but are all about preening, which is just another sort of work.
Julie Burchill Quotes: Women, more often than not,
When the sex war is won prostitutes should be shot as collaborators for their terrible betrayal of all women.
Julie Burchill Quotes: When the sex war is
As I get older I think, contrary to modern assumption but in line with the old Lerner and Lowe song, that it would actually benefit both them and society if - to quote Professor Higgins - a woman could be more like a man.
Julie Burchill Quotes: As I get older I
It was the flashing lights, and the noise of the machines, and the loud, loud music, all seeming to refract and contract around her, her eyes widening, her hair swooshing, her slow smile shining. She seemed an actual part of the place - all fun, all joy, all shimmery skittering energy.
Julie Burchill Quotes: It was the flashing lights,
The allegedly 'classy' magazines often seem to be in an endless, undeclared competition to see who can climb furthest up the fundament of Gwyneth Paltrow or Jennifer Lopez.
Julie Burchill Quotes: The allegedly 'classy' magazines often
These women whose antics we smirk at good-naturedly in the pap-traps put themselves out there at least partly on their beauty; they are in showbiz, and showing what they've got is part of their business as much as it is for male show-ponies from the Chippendales to George Clooney.
Julie Burchill Quotes: These women whose antics we
Most women are wise to the fact that lots of men love a cat-fight, and thus go out of their way not to give them one.
Julie Burchill Quotes: Most women are wise to
It must be said that Brighton, unlike London, makes driving seem very appealing. Instead of glowering faces and angry horns on all sides, we have the coast road in front of us and the Sussex Downs just 10 minutes behind us.
Julie Burchill Quotes: It must be said that
Some say that Cusk has no sense of humour, but expecting giggles from this writer would be akin to expecting sonnets from Benny Hill.
Julie Burchill Quotes: Some say that Cusk has
Mind you, I've always been a very off-message type of fat broad; one who gladly admits she reached the size she is now solely through lack of discipline and love of pleasure, and who rather despises people (except those with proven medical conditions) who pretend that it is generally otherwise.
Julie Burchill Quotes: Mind you, I've always been
Big women do themselves a disservice when they attempt to become the Righteous Fat (the Righteous Thin are bad enough, all that running around and sweating, somehow believing it means anything).
Julie Burchill Quotes: Big women do themselves a
One Christmas build-up tradition, however, has totally bypassed me - that of going up to town and 'doing a show.'
Julie Burchill Quotes: One Christmas build-up tradition, however,
Only those who haven't got the wit to speak for themselves would ever want their clothes to do it for them.
Julie Burchill Quotes: Only those who haven't got
No one knows 'men' as such, any more than anyone knows 'women,' and if they do generalise they're probably trying to hide their own ignorance. You might know one 'man,' yes, or even lots of individual 'men'.
Julie Burchill Quotes: No one knows 'men' as
Fact is, famous people say fame stinks because they love it so - like a secret restaurant or holiday island they don't want the hoi polloi to get their grubby paws on.
Julie Burchill Quotes: Fact is, famous people say
From paying off friends' tax bills to rescuing stray dogs and stuffing £20 notes into the hands of homeless people, I can't get rid of my money fast enough.
Julie Burchill Quotes: From paying off friends' tax
Having 'best friends' is - at least for me - as outdated and small-minded a concept as the idea of 'Sunday best clothes.'
Julie Burchill Quotes: Having 'best friends' is -
I've never been nostalgic, personally or politically - if the past was so great, how come it's history?
Julie Burchill Quotes: I've never been nostalgic, personally
The truth of the matter is, beauty is a specific thing, rare and fleeting. Some of us have it in our teens, 20s and 30s and then lose it; most of us have it not at all. And that's perfectly okay. But lying to yourself that you have it when you don't seems to me simple-minded at best and psychotic at worst.
Julie Burchill Quotes: The truth of the matter
Punk was over in two years. That was the only damn good thing about it.
Julie Burchill Quotes: Punk was over in two
No matter how old and glorious the models, sad indeed is the woman who sees fashion as a means of self-expression rather than an agent of social control.
Julie Burchill Quotes: No matter how old and
Writing is more than anything a compulsion, like some people wash their hands thirty times a day for fear of awful consequences if they do not. It pays a whole lot better than this type of compulsion, but it is no more heroic.
Julie Burchill Quotes: Writing is more than anything
As a precocious teen I dreamed of being Graham Greene. Well, as it turned out, I never wrote a great novel, sadly, and I never converted to Catholicism, happily, but I did do one thing he did. That is, in middle age I moved to a seaside town and got into a right barney with the local powers-that-be.
Julie Burchill Quotes: As a precocious teen I
Here in Barcelona, it's the architects who built the buildings that made the city iconic who are the objects of admiration - not a bunch of half-witted monarchs.
Julie Burchill Quotes: Here in Barcelona, it's the
Blakes Hotel in South Kensington was a particular favourite of mine during what I affectionately think of as my Restless Years.
Julie Burchill Quotes: Blakes Hotel in South Kensington
Contrasting British servicemen and women with the appeasers, it is hard not to laugh. Are these two sides even the same species, let alone the same nationality? On one hand the selflessness and internationalism of the soldiers; on the other the Whites-First isolationism of the protesters. Excuse me, who are the idealists here?
Julie Burchill Quotes: Contrasting British servicemen and women
'Stress' was the catch-all every pamper-pedlar I spoke to used to explain why healthy women feel the need to be regularly patted, petted and preened into a state of babyish beatification.
Julie Burchill Quotes: 'Stress' was the catch-all every
It's very hard to imagine the phrase 'consumer society' used so cheerfully, and interpreted so enthusiastically, in England.
Julie Burchill Quotes: It's very hard to imagine
Being a monarchist - saying that one small group is born more worthy of respect than another - is just as warped and strange as being a racist.
Julie Burchill Quotes: Being a monarchist - saying
As I have got older, I have found myself making friends with the ease and swiftness that other people pick up fuzzballs on their jumpers. And I believe it is probably my lack of longing for 'The One' that makes me so popular.
Julie Burchill Quotes: As I have got older,
A woman who looks like a girl and thinks like a man is the best sort, the most enjoyable to be and the most pleasurable to have and to hold.
Julie Burchill Quotes: A woman who looks like
I just have a real problem with people who seek to portray fatness or thinness as moral concepts.
Julie Burchill Quotes: I just have a real
Can I just say here how much I hate the word 'pamper'? While pretending to celebrate and indulge women, it actually implies that their bodies are so revolting that even their 'me time' must be dedicated to turning them into living dolls if potential suitors are to be prevented from running screaming in horror.
Julie Burchill Quotes: Can I just say here
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