Joy Behar Quotes

Statistically, skinny women die younger than fat women. Why? Because fat women are killing them.

What daughter thinks of her parents in flagrante delicto? Yet, my mother, even after years with him, dropped hints such as, 'You know, your father enjoys his matinees.' I never even saw them go to the movies together. What could she mean? All those afternoons, I thought she was upstairs listening to La Traviata, and those high notes apparently were not coming from the radio.

Republican Party hasn't been black friendly over the many centuries in this country.

I don't get jealous of people. Jealousy is such a waste of time because you're jealous of them, and they go about their lives and have a wonderful time, so what's the point?

I want to do an intelligent talk show where you have room to breathe.

It's a completely useless emotion - jealousy. I don't go there.

I feel bad for young people. The 20s are a nightmare also. The 20s are hard to do.

He's a terrorist. Rush Limbaugh is a terrorist.

As far as people communicating with each other well I think that listening is important. You know really trying to read between the lines of what some body is saying and trying to read their mind a little bit where there at because most people don't really say what they're feeling. Which is the bones of great literature.

I interviewed Ann Coulter when I was sitting in for Larry King a couple of times, and we have a rapport. I like to talk to her.

I think it's interesting to me to talk to people who don't agree with me all the time.

I've been through many years of psychotherapy, psycho-drama, I've taken risks in my life. I've had trials and tribulations just like every body else. You have to really think about who you are. You can't just go through life and sail threw.

I feel like when being raised in New York City I have a particular perspective on things like Gay issues maybe, because I'm in the middle of Manhattan.

If you have trouble with finding things you should get into some kind of therapy with a good therapist if you need, I mean I just believe in therapy for everybody. I really do. I don't think any body can escape it.

I mean, I'd like to see (Mitt Romney's) house burn, one of his millions of houses burning down. It would be kind of cool - the Mormon fire patrol.

I keep my stand-up comedy notes in a pile on my desk. I don't organize my act. I keep myself in a state of confusion. It stresses me out, but I prefer creative chaos.

I read the 'New York Times', I read 'The Nation', I read 'Newsweek', I read 'Time Magazine', I read 'Politico', I read 'Mediaite'. This is what I do! I read every day, I have interests, I'm like everybody out there who's watching, who's out there watching, you know?

I am comfortable with myself, and this is how I am. I am not really interested in having an acrimonious fight with somebody.

I love a Dustbuster. You go around, pick up little crumbs, and everything is nice again.

I don't know what it's going to take for people to really wake up and understand that they [the Bush administration] are liars and they are murderers.

As Socrates I believe said the unexamined life is not worth living. I believe that's true. I do believe that.

Have four things going. I have stand-up comedy, two television shows and I'm working on a play. I like to work, and I fear that something could fall through. You know what they say: 'The show must go off.'

I'm interested in so many different things and I'd like to cover a lot of territory. I'm trying to see my show as the Sunday 'Times.' You have the Arts & Leisure section, you have the Op-Ed page, you have the Book Review ... even the Style section has those wonderful essays about relationships.

Monogamy is monotonous, but it's safe you know. And that's my philosophy. And I like to convey that to people.

Never eat at a Chinese restaurant named Mama Teresa's Trattoria.

I don't profess to be an expert on anything, or have the memory for who ran in 1952. I am an informed American citizen, that's my position.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck could run for vice president.

I think that comedy is a good defense for a child. Because you know childhood is a nightmare as it is. And so why not use comedy and being funny as a defense to get through your life as opposed to drugs, alcohol and good looks? Because those things are dangerous when your young.

The Republicans do not have feeling for people who are in bad shape.

I want a man in my life, not in my house.

Isn't it a little racist to call it Black Friday?

You really have to know who you are. It takes, uh it's not that easy.

A better thing to grow up with is to be funny I think, and if I had, if I had my choice I would still pick that.