Jodi Taylor Quotes

Some things were above my pay grade. Actually, there were things that slithered on their bellies that were higher than my pay grade.

Dr Maxwell. Why are you wearing a red snake in my office?' 'Sorry, sir. Whose office should I be wearing it in?

Society is rigid. Everyone knows everyone else in their world. Everyone has their place in the scheme of things. If you don't belong to a family, a tribe, a village, a guild, whatever, you don't exist then, either. And you can't just pitch up somewhere without mutual acquaintances, recommendations, or letters of introduction. Life on the fringes of society, any society in any time, is tough.

I know the whole world isn't really out to get me. I'm pretty sure Switzerland is neutral.

Mr Markham, the box marked "Sex" is not an invitation. Please amend the details and apologise to Mrs Partridge.

We're St Mary's. We run on tea. The

It's no good moaning about what evil bastards they were. Men like that would see that as a compliment. Far better to regard them as an insignificant pimple on the arse of your success, don't you think?'

A pause.

'The arse of success?'

I shrugged. 'It's been a long day. Best I could come up with, but you know what I mean.

Whether Henry was a royal trendsetter or it was practical under their helmets, I didn't know. I certainly couldn't think of any other reason for having the most hideous hairstyle in a History that includes Donald Trump.

I'm the world's lightest sleeper. On a bad day, I can make Lady Macbeth look like a raging narcoleptic.

I'm not a surgeon.' 'You don't have to be. You're an engineer. That's almost the same thing.' 'Your ignorance is frightening.

What chest?' I said, because everyone knows if you ignore persistent, throbbing pain then it goes away. Like toothache. And small children. And overdrafts.

I don't know how to put this, but sometimes, you don't know how unhappy someone is until you see them before the unhappiness.

In this century, as in any other, men wore the comfortable, practical stuff, and the women wandered round expiring underneath over-decorated tea-cosies and with inadequate footwear.

But mostly we're fairly light-hearted because we have to be. People die here, and if we ever stopped and thought carefully about what we do, then we might not do it at all. If

Typical St Mary's. When the chips are down we don't whine and we don't run – we do some damage.

I am being nice to you. It's not my fault you're too thick to notice.

IT, that goes for you too. Any difficulties, tell me, so I can stare at you, baffled and confused.

Strangely, I found the conclusion quite liberating. When you're fucked, you're fucked. Things really can't get much worse. With

The only talents he possessed were delusions of adequacy.

To look away when something terrible is happening does not mean that the terrible thing ceases to happen. Someone

Partridge was pretending not to lurk near the stairs. 'The body's under the desk,' I said as I passed, just to give her something to worry about.

In England, the struggle between church and kings would take centuries to resolve. Interestingly, in the end, neither institution came out on top. Today, each is as powerless as the other. As people power emerged, we invented politicians. We're not bright.

She picked up a slice of Victoria Sponge, broke it into large pieces and tossed them in their direction. I hadn't had any yet, and could not suppress a small whimper. 'It's for science, Director,' she said. 'We must all make sacrifices.

Markham even had our banners ready. The polite NON AD CAPITAGIUM (No to the poll tax), the hopeful MAGIS STIPENDIUM HISTORICI (More money for historians) and the always accurate POLICITI NOSTRAE OMNEC WANKERS SUNT (Most politicians are not very good).

We don't do time-travel. That's for amateurs. We're not time-travellers - we're historians. We 'investigate major historical events in contemporary time'. so much more classy.

The screaming redoubled. You put dinosaurs and people together, you always get screaming.

Get out. Get out of our house. Both of you. It makes me sick just to have you here. You called me a nothing girl. Well, this nothing girl despises you. I'd rather be nothing and loved by Russell Checkland than anything else on earth. You would have ruined his life and he's so much better than you. He's kind and generous and passionate and everything you're not. He will be a great painter one day. And – and he goes like a train.

Henry V and the Battle of Agincourt.

Are you sexually active?' 'No. I usually just lie back and think of the Spartans.

She fought off a T-rex with just a pepper spray and bad language. You couldn't be in better hands.

Despite the Cooper/Hofstadter papers on the subject,

I could have been a bomb-disposal expert, or a volunteer for the Mars mission, or a firefighter, or something safe and sensible. But no, I had to be an historian.

Jenny, I'm so sorry. I think I may have encouraged you to marry a madman.' 'Yes, we're going to be discussing this later. Oh.

There would be a crafts tent and a small local farmers' market for anyone who wanted to buy a small local farmer.

Thanks to you I've involuntarily increased the radiation protection of my biosuit quite substantially.

I ever retire, I'm going to buy a house in the centre of town somewhere and name it Sea View, just to give people something to worry about.

No one ever mentions this in stories about time travel. You identify and locate your destination, defy the laws of physics to get there, somehow manage to avoid as many as possible of the huge number of hazards History has littered around the place, manage not to lose or break your very expensive equipment, you're poised to record the History-changing event of your choice, and then you find you can't bloody get in. On

Rules give anarchy something to aim at. Points

If you want someone dead then do it. I keep saying this. Don't gloat – just shoot.

I made you,' I said darkly. 'I can break you.' He snorted. And

If this was one of those books, there would now be three pages of head-banging sex. The reality was that he pulled me close, whispered, 'Mfhbnnntx,' and I pulled his arm over me like a cover and muttered, 'Trout,' and that was pretty much it.

It's all very well having these emotional moments, but eventually after two cups of tea, someone has to go to the bathroom.

When a man could no longer pay his debts, the soldiers would seize the tabletop he would be using to display his wares (banco) and break it (rotta). Hence, bankruptcy.

He'll stand up for you and protect you and kill dragons for you, but he won't always know that sometimes, he's the dragon

The truth is always important. It may not be popular, or fashionable, or convenient but it is always important. Somewhere there must always be a record of events as they actually occurred. Not the politically airbrushed record, or religious wishful thinking or the socially acceptable version, but the often inconvenient truth.' 'My

There should be medals struck for men who produce tea at exactly the moment it's needed.