Jesse Petersen Quotes

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Think win-win. You probably won't get it, but think it.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Think win-win. You probably won't
Strive for more. More zombies, more fighting, more profit.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Strive for more. More zombies,
Partnerships don't last forever. The zombie apocalypse just might.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Partnerships don't last forever. The
Share in your activities and interests. If you are going to kill zombies anyway, why not do it together?
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Share in your activities and
Expand. Why stick to just killing zombies? Or killing them just one way.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Expand. Why stick to just
The question: What color is my parachute?
The answer: blood red, brains gray, sludge black.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: The question: What color is
Have you ever wanted to smash a car? Or break a television? Or maybe burn a big fire in the middle of a city square? If the answer is yes, then you'd have some fun during a zombie infestation. It's the little moments, you know?
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Have you ever wanted to
And then, anger gave way to pure and simple job satisfaction. I mean, when I looked at a dead zombie head on a spike, I thought, Hey, I did that. Picasso would have been proud. Especially how I rearranged that eye
Jesse Petersen Quotes: And then, anger gave way
Yeah." Sven said. "The stuff she just said. Let's not get all killy.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Yeah.
I should have known that having "end of the world" sex wouldn't solve our problems. Though, it was pretty great and I highly recommend it.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: I should have known that
Never go to bed angry. Terrified is okay.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Never go to bed angry.
Um, didn't Mythbusters once do an episode about how you couldn't use sheets as a way out of prison?" I laughed. "I don't remember if they busted it or not.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Um, didn't Mythbusters once do
Address one issue at a time.You can't load gasoline, pick up food, AND kill fifteen zombies at once
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Address one issue at a
Do what you love and the zombies will follow.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Do what you love and
Dress for success. Also arm yourself for it.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Dress for success. Also arm
Do fight unwinnable battles. Sometimes they're worth it.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Do fight unwinnable battles. Sometimes
Admit when you're wrong. It doesn't fix a busted leg, of course, but it's a nice gesture none-the-less.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Admit when you're wrong. It
You are your partner are on the same side - it's the side of the living.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: You are your partner are
So you killed him with what now?"
"I tried that Dr. Phil book at first" ... "And I finished it off with the toilet seat. Just so you know, you left it up again. That drives me crazy.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: So you killed him with
Fake it til you make it. Just make it.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Fake it til you make
Balance the world in your relationship. No one person should be responsible for killing ALL the Zombies.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Balance the world in your
Show physical affection. Nothing says "I love you" like bearing the entirety of your spouse's weight.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Show physical affection. Nothing says
Building relationships is building business. Also, you sometimes need other people to kill all the motherfucking zombies.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Building relationships is building business.
Don't discuss your relationship problems with friends. Your zombie problems are another story entirely.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Don't discuss your relationship problems
Thank God for the second amendment.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Thank God for the second
Who moves my cheese? ...and my shotgun?
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Who moves my cheese? ...and
Don't forget the little people, even when you want to.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Don't forget the little people,
I stared at him. David, that's prison movies, not zombie movie.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: I stared at him. David,
Don't fear change. Just fear everything and everyone else.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Don't fear change. Just fear
Be proactive; and ready to run if proactive backfires.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Be proactive; and ready to
Put the small stuff into perspective. It's better to be wrong and alive than right but eating brains.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Put the small stuff into
Rich dad, poor zombie.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Rich dad, poor zombie.
Find creative ways to have fun together. Looting is really underrated.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Find creative ways to have
Make requests, not demands. "Please" kill that zombie, honey, I'm out of bullets.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Make requests, not demands.
Talk openly about important issues like money, sex, and religion. They can affect your life and happiness a great deal. Especially when it comes to cults.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Talk openly about important issues
Build mutual friendships. Just be ready to end them when your friends start trying to eat you.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Build mutual friendships. Just be
Strive for the 4 hour work week. The rest of the time run like hell.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: Strive for the 4 hour
I stopped as I thought of poor Jack on my bathroom floor, just another victim of Dr. Phil.
Jesse Petersen Quotes: I stopped as I thought
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