Hannah Moskowitz Quotes

Shit, boy. Look at me. Do they have me right now? Are you tying me up and hitting me and ... whatever? Did you trap me?"
"I ... " I shake my head.
"And do I look free?

He has lungs and a heart and he ... he is just telling himself over and over again that he is all fish because that's what you wanted him to be.

I hate when people do this. I hate when people hide their cards to feel secret and strong. That's no way of dealing with anything.

There's so much about girls I don't understand. I don't know how I'm old enough to kiss them but not old enough to talk to them.

I think once you start going to therapy three times a week, you've made some sort of terrible transition. I think that's the difference between "a little fucked up," in a concerned endearing tone and "fucked up" with raised eyebrows and a slow head nod.

When you're grieving, the times you're happy are so much more tragic than the times that you aren't. Because being happy feels fake and it feels temporary and it feels meaningless. And hating being happy is a shitty way to live.

If my friends or my girlfriend back home saw who I've turned into, I don't think they'd recognize me. And I think that's okay with me.

She is still learning how wars keep score.

He'd kill one to save me, but not to save himself. Just like I'd risk Dylan's life for him but not for me. It makes us a little horrible.

Her eyes are huge and humid.

It's not disgusting. Books are disgusting."
"I like books. I thought you liked books."
"Let's be honest, Rudy, books are pornography for brains.

I'm expanded!" I grab my belly flab and shake it at her.

And I can't stop crying for anything in the world right then. And I can't let go of him. Nothing could make me let go of that kid. The house could fall into the sea and crush everybody and we could go underwater and I would hold him the whole time.

Craig, he says, in that tone that's like, I'm one step away from middle-naming you.

Am I four years old? All I do is cry and say things are stupid.
I'm stupid.

My life is just something that happened to me.

I'm a Miami girl. I'm not meant to be in anything under eighty degrees, ever. Shut

Don't ever let anyone tell you that college is for smart people. College eats smart people alive.

I like books. I thought you liked books."
"Let's be honest, Rudy, books are pornography for brains. All that subtext and bullshit and hidden imagery.

There's something about a boy who isn't allowed to wander off. There's something about a boy in a sky who has limits.

There has to be a way. I didn't die in that cave, and Dylan didn't die when he was two, and Teeth didn't die in the shrimp boat, because there is always a way. And I'm going to find it.

How's everything going, Jonah? This question is enough to piss me off. I hate counselors ... I have Naomi. I don't need this crap.

Will coos, "Jo."
I pretend he's saying my name. I pretend he's calling me back.

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We're totally different people from when we first met, but I still love her and she loves me, after all this time.

And this weekend I'm going to meet her in person.

No no no, sweetie, that wasn't dancing, that was being a whore. Good God, what do they teach in church nowadays? Aren't you supposed to be able to pick whores out of a lineup?"
"That's only on Sundays," she says. "It's Thursday, my secret Christian Whore-Spotting Powers aren't activated.

At the Hospital, everyone thinks about dying.And I'd never been much for romanticizing death-especially not suicide. I'd always been a fan of staying alive.
After all, you basically do all you can not to die. All the time. The search for immortality isn't just from storybooks. every day you do it. You buckle your seat-belt, you take vitamin supplements, look both was before you cross the street. And you really think your doing all you can. Bullshit. We can lift weights for fucking hours and we're still going to die.

I am tough for a reason and it is to fucking destroy the music. I dance hard.

Y'know I googled you, too," he says.
"You did?"
"Yeah, well first I had to look you up because you said your dad was the...y'know, the head guy, and I was curious. And then I found out your last name was Garfinkel and realised you must be Jewish, and so now I'm in love with you.

I'm happy for the kid and everything, but how the fuck does Lio get a friend before me? I live here.
'I told you I could do it ' Lio IMs me. I want to rip out that smiley's eyes.

I ignore people who need me and latch on to people who don't. I dive into every other world except my own just because I want something more glamorous than my real life. I do destructive shit so a stupid hypocritical fish will like me.
I fall for fish instead of girls.

A few innocent people!" my father says. "A few people were shot for absolutely no reason except for where they happened to be."
But ... but, no, I'm calling bullshit, because entire lives are determined by where we happen to be. It's the only reason we care about the cities we care about. God, it's the only reason we fall in love. It's where you happen to be.

You know what will be fun?"
"What?"
"When we can stop pretending that we're interesting people who go out and do things and instead we can hang out and just do nothing."
It's incredible to hear those words out of someone's mouth besides mine. Not that I've ever said them, actually. Who would I say them to?
"That sounds amazing," I say.

I'm bored of this. I want to hear about you. Favorite color. Go."
I laugh. "Green."
"I'm green!"
"Fuck yeah you are."
"Why are you laughing? Isn't this what friends do?"
"Interrogate each other?"
"What? Uh, sure. I don't know what that means. But yes.

I say, "Good job, buddy," and his face is like I've just fixed the whole world.

He says, "But it is really whatever, you know? You've saved me way more times. And we call ourselves friends."
It doesn't matter what we call ourselves, really. "You already saved me," I say.
"That was nothing."
"I'm not talking about the cave."
He wrinkles his nose.
"That first day," I say, "When you got up on the rocks to flirt with a human boy."
He smiles big, with all his ground-down teeth shining.

That which does not kill us makes us stronger," Jesse deadpans.
"Exactly. Exactly."
Self-improvement through adversity... it isn't bullshit. Exhibit A: my little brother. I can see every muscle in his stomach and shoulders.

Soon we're both frowning hard at the paperwork. "Middle name?" Noah says. "Does Gideon even have a middle name?"
"I don't know"
Noah turns to me and says, "Do you have a middle name?" his glare implying that, if I do, this whole thing is somehow my fault.
"I ... have no idea."
"Primary language spoken at home." Noah makes a face. "What does this mean? Our primary language? Gideon's? That's sort of why we're here ... "
"Um, it's under family, so I'm guessing ours?"
"Well ... " Noah lowers his pen. The paperwork has defeated him. "What's our primary language?"
"English? ASL? Physical affection?"
"Food?" Noah says.
"Food's a good guess."
He picks up the pen. "I'm writing food, comma passive aggressive."
"Good call.

If this were a fairy tale, this would be the part where the fishboy appears and Diana shoots him through the heart. Because he is a tragic hero, he's our fucking Gatsby, and he lived for his fish and he has to die for his fish. He would never let my fake authority, condoning his abandonment, making up rules about what's okay just to save his life, convince him to give up his family. He would never leave.
He would know that without him, none of us will be as good. Me, without a friend; and the fish, without a brother; and the island, without a story; and Diana, without her something real, we will all be a little bit less than we were before we knew him.
So he wouldn't leave. Not until I could come with him. And I have never been less able to leave than I am now.
But this isn't a fairy tale, and he doesn't appear. We stand here for a long time.
He really left.
Because it was all that we could do.

They scoot away from each other as soon as I open the door, like they're afraid that their cuddling will bruise my eyes.

My last girlfriend at home was Gabrielle. We were together for only a month before I left. I pretty much knew by the time we kissed for the first time that I was leaving soon. That's probably why I kissed her so hard that I bruised my lip against her teeth. I felt like I could get every bit of me inside of her, if I tried hard enough. I don't know.

You only get so many chances to be destroyed. Got to make the most of them.

The fish will not blame you. You have to do this. I will not look at you and think you're a bad brother. Nobody will. You have to leave because this time you have to save yourself.

My eyes are darting to all the places my magazines are hidden. I feel like an idiot sometimes for having printed evidence. My friends look at stuff on their phones like it's their job. Don't get me wrong, I've looked, and there's some alright stuff online, but I prefer the magazines. I guess I'm a retro sort of man. Call me classy.

Make sure you're not expecting cute. This isn't Looking For Alaska.

I think when we sleep, the world belongs to everyone still awake. Which means a shitload of the world belongs to Craig.
~Lio

Sometimes I hate the things I am allowed to do.

I've always had a fandom. I've always had characters who live in my head and mess with my heart and tell me stories, and I love it.

There's a big difference between hating someone in peace and hating someone during war.

I think this is the part where we stop pretending we're not going to see each other again.

I don't want to die, but I wish waking up every morning didn't feel like such a fuck-you every single time.

I wish we would all just fall apart so I wouldn't have to listen to the downfall happen, so slowly, so painfully.

The goddamn bullshit of all this, I swear. The world makes you think God forbid you actually enjoy sex

I wish we could get away from our fish.

It's not just like that. I can't just swim away."
"Why not?"
"I'm afraid I'll drown." He looks up and gives the world's smallest smile. He takes a deep breath with those lungs. "I'm afraid I'll drown.

There is no going back, so fuck you, universe.

I don't tell him about how I have to leave my family organism, break out firmly and finally. I don't tell him that I'm a parasite, and I'm ruining them. That my functionality is tearing them to pieces.

I go both ways", I say, "You know that whole thing about there being a misconception about bisexuals being sluts. Like everyone thinks that just because we're into both we're into everybody?" ... "Well I'm actually kind of a slut. I'm awesome for the community, obviously

You're broken, and you're fixed. And you're better.

I close my eyes and listen to the ocean.
I'm thinking about sailing, to England or maybe France. The way the wind would feel on my face and the sound of his voice screaming my name through his laughter. The waves would crash like applause. God, I remember when I used to be afraid of the ocean.