David Richo Famous Quotes
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Bread takes the effort of kneading but also requires sitting quietly while the dough rises with a power all its own.
![David Richo Quotes: Bread takes the effort of David Richo Quotes: Bread takes the effort of](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-717620.jpg)
When we feel unsafe with someone and still stay with him, we damage our ability to discern trustworthiness in those we will meet in the future.
![David Richo Quotes: When we feel unsafe with David Richo Quotes: When we feel unsafe with](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-562083.jpg)
To be adult in relationship is not to be conflict-free, it's to resolve conflicts mindfully.
![David Richo Quotes: To be adult in relationship David Richo Quotes: To be adult in relationship](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-42701.jpg)
I now understand that all the people I have ever known have come into my life to teach me about love. I am coming to trust that every moment of affection I received has been carefully recorded in me, ready for playback. The love I received from others shows me how to love those who need it from me. This is how the people who loved me have helped write this book.
Specific memories also come through about how much people have had to put up with from me. What did they see in me that made them stick with me when I was so damned afraid to return their love? Maybe they saw something lovable in me that I need to see in myself. Their uninterrupted love also helps me trust that I must have shown more love than I give myself credit for.
![David Richo Quotes: I now understand that all David Richo Quotes: I now understand that all](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-59989.jpg)
Once we understand that what happens beyond our control may be just what we need, we see that acceptance of reality can be our way of participating in our own evolution.
![David Richo Quotes: Once we understand that what David Richo Quotes: Once we understand that what](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-384966.jpg)
The more invested I am in my own ideas about reality, the more those experiences will feel like victimizations rather than the ups and downs of relating. Actually, I believe that the less I conceptualize things that way, the more likely it is that people will want to stay by me, because they will not feel burdened, consciously or unconsciously, by my projections, judgments, entitlements, or unrealistic expectations.
![David Richo Quotes: The more invested I am David Richo Quotes: The more invested I am](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-1078169.jpg)
I must admit, however, that this is mostly a book of guesses - as any book on love must be. My guess is that loving is what we are here for, that love is what every one of us deserves to receive and is here to give, that love alone makes this earth the heaven it was meant to be. The guess turns into a conundrum when we realize that so many of us prefer the signs that point to heaven over heaven itself. We yearn for and talk about the love we want. We lament the love we have been deprived of. Yet we sometimes fail to take the steps that can help it happen for us.
The puzzle becomes even more confounding when we sometimes prefer the hell of no love at all, which we bring on by our own unskillful choices or by our endurance of abuse or betrayal, especially from those who say they love us. This book proposes that love is real when we dare to become as loving as we can be toward ourselves and others and as careful as we can be not to confuse a history with someone or a connection that does not work for us with true love.
![David Richo Quotes: I must admit, however, that David Richo Quotes: I must admit, however, that](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-329839.jpg)
The way we were first loved and the ways we have been loved ever since form our definition of what love means to us. Some people really feel loved when someone gives them a gift. Others experience it when people stand up for them. Still others feel loved when someone goes the extra mile to help them. If our mother showed love by holding us in our pain or joy, without engulfing or controlling us, that will be the behavior that always feels like love to us. We feel love now as we first received it; we give love the way others gave it to us. Thus, since love is unique to each person, we read and write love, receive and give it, in the style designed by our past experience. Yet, like good handwriting, our unique signature can be read by others.
![David Richo Quotes: The way we were first David Richo Quotes: The way we were first](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-1194034.jpg)
Acceptance is approval, a word with a bad name in some psychologies. Yet it is perfectly normal to seek approval in childhood and throughout life. We require approval from those we respect. The kinship it creates lifts us to their level, a process referred to in self-psychology as transmuting internalization. Approval is a necessary component of self-esteem. It becomes a problem only when we give up our true self to find it. Then approval-seeking works against us.
![David Richo Quotes: Acceptance is approval, a word David Richo Quotes: Acceptance is approval, a word](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-481281.jpg)
It is, of course, true that discrimination in trusting others is necessary if we are to have quality relationships. Selectivity is important for our safety and security, because it means trusting only those who have proven their dependability. This makes sense but only in how we love, not that we love. Thus, our ways of showing love differ according to the commitment we have to various individuals in our lives. But our scope of love does not have to set or be set by limitations. We can be careful about our boundaries when others come close but free of boundaries in how far our love extends. There are boundaries in the topography of love but no barriers.
![David Richo Quotes: It is, of course, true David Richo Quotes: It is, of course, true](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-314700.jpg)
Relationships are not about how two people can survive each other but about how the whole world becomes more capable of love, with all its dim anguish and glowing rapture.
![David Richo Quotes: Relationships are not about how David Richo Quotes: Relationships are not about how](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-82908.jpg)
Evoke one good memory for each bad one from now on.
![David Richo Quotes: Evoke one good memory for David Richo Quotes: Evoke one good memory for](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-610199.jpg)
Though most of us want to move on from our past, we tend to go through our lives simply casting new people into the roles of key people, such as our parents or any significant person with whom there is still unfinished business.
![David Richo Quotes: Though most of us want David Richo Quotes: Though most of us want](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-879820.jpg)
In mindful grief, we become the landing strip that allows any feelings to arrive. Some crash, some land softly. Some harm us, but none harm us in a lasting way. We remain as they taxi away or as their wreckage is cleared away. We can trust that we will survive.
![David Richo Quotes: In mindful grief, we become David Richo Quotes: In mindful grief, we become](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-945764.jpg)
Mindfulness is both a state of being and a daily spiritual practice, a form of meditation.
![David Richo Quotes: Mindfulness is both a state David Richo Quotes: Mindfulness is both a state](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-1553631.jpg)
A wound does not destroy us. It activates our self-healing powers. The point is not to "put it behind you" but to keep benefiting from the strength it has awakened.
![David Richo Quotes: A wound does not destroy David Richo Quotes: A wound does not destroy](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-1435732.jpg)
Most people in relationships seldom know what they really want, ask for what they really want, or show what they really feel. Most people avoid or fear intimacy, consistent
![David Richo Quotes: Most people in relationships seldom David Richo Quotes: Most people in relationships seldom](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-1349220.jpg)
Once we make our relationship choices in an adult way, a prospective partner who is unavailable, nonreciprocal, or not open to processing feelings and issues, becomes, by those very facts, unappealing. Once we love ourselves, people no longer look good to us unless they are good for us.
![David Richo Quotes: Once we make our relationship David Richo Quotes: Once we make our relationship](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-36859.jpg)
We do not create our destiny; we participate in its unfolding. Synchronicity works as a catalyst toward the working out of that destiny.
![David Richo Quotes: We do not create our David Richo Quotes: We do not create our](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-791115.jpg)
Self-actualization is not a sudden happening or even the permanent result of long effort. The eleventh-century Tibetan Buddhist poet-saint Milarupa suggested: "Do not expect full realization; simply practice every day of your life." A healthy person is not perfect but perfectible, not a done deal but a work in progress. Staying healthy takes discipline, work, and patience, which is why our life is a journey and perforce a heroic one.
![David Richo Quotes: Self-actualization is not a sudden David Richo Quotes: Self-actualization is not a sudden](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-571998.jpg)
The Five A's (attention, appreciation, acceptance, affection, allowing) are simultaneously the fulfillment of our earliest needs, the requirements of adult intimacy and of universal compassion, and the essential qualities of mindfulness practice.
![David Richo Quotes: The Five A's (attention, appreciation, David Richo Quotes: The Five A's (attention, appreciation,](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-1322730.jpg)
Just a little progress is freedom from fear. - Bhagavad Gita
![David Richo Quotes: Just a little progress is David Richo Quotes: Just a little progress is](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-528813.jpg)
We were born with four words engraved on our bodies and in our hearts: Love me, hold me.
![David Richo Quotes: We were born with four David Richo Quotes: We were born with four](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-1411128.jpg)
In pain with you, and yet I could not go. I stayed since nothing better came along. I loved you by default or just for show, My life a whistled flat unechoed song. I groped for notches in our dun abyss, And looked for more in lonely only less. I shunned the path adorned with signs to bliss, And stood the loyal ground of wait or guess. It took the tender you to shift the scene, Bold arsonist beneath our tinder stage! I then in friendly fire to earth careen And from our props and ashes disengage. I begged you long with such a silent ache In fear of, wish for mercy for my sake. What Love Feels Like
![David Richo Quotes: In pain with you, and David Richo Quotes: In pain with you, and](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-565629.jpg)
When we notice a connection between our present fears and their origins in early life, we are finding out how much of our identity is designed by fear. Is fear the architect of me?
![David Richo Quotes: When we notice a connection David Richo Quotes: When we notice a connection](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-990052.jpg)
Humility means accepting reality with no attempt to outsmart it.
![David Richo Quotes: Humility means accepting reality with David Richo Quotes: Humility means accepting reality with](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-309955.jpg)
We hear with our ears; we listen with our intution and our heart.
![David Richo Quotes: We hear with our ears; David Richo Quotes: We hear with our ears;](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-871460.jpg)
Our identity is like a kaleidoscope. With each turn we reset it not to a former or final state but to a new one that reflects the here-and-now positions of the pieces we have to work with. The design is always new because the shifts are continual. That is what makes kaleidoscopes, and us, so appealing and beautiful.
![David Richo Quotes: Our identity is like a David Richo Quotes: Our identity is like a](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-176405.jpg)
The most exciting part of finding out who we are is discovering our own uniqueness, who we are outside the box, beyond the categories in a Psychology 101 textbook. In our inimitable singularity, there is an infinite range of possibility that cannot be tied to any one description of what it means to be human or healthy.
![David Richo Quotes: The most exciting part of David Richo Quotes: The most exciting part of](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-594544.jpg)
I see that mankind still survives after all its attempts to destroy itself and so I surmise that it is the law of love that rules mankind.
![David Richo Quotes: I see that mankind still David Richo Quotes: I see that mankind still](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-1582917.jpg)
Just as our fingerprints are one-of-a-kind, so is our identity. Each of us is a once-only articulation of what humans can be. We are rare, unmatched, mysterious. This is why the quality of openness is so crucial to our self-discovery. We cannot know ourselves by who we think we are, who others take us to be, or what our driver's license may say. We are fields of potential, some now actualized, most not yet.
![David Richo Quotes: Just as our fingerprints are David Richo Quotes: Just as our fingerprints are](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-911332.jpg)
Fate often allows a future to take shape with no regard for our expectation, plan, or readiness. Fate's skillful editing of our life choices is like the careful grooming of lads on their first day of school: combed, polished, scrubbed, newly dressed, and glowing too. This is how we become ready for our life lessons.
![David Richo Quotes: Fate often allows a future David Richo Quotes: Fate often allows a future](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-116265.jpg)
In a true you-and-I relationship, we are present mindfully, nonintrusively, the way we are present with things in nature.We do not tell a birch tree it should be more like an elm. We face it with no agenda, only an appreciation that becomes participation: 'I love looking at this birch' becomes 'I am this birch' and then 'I and this birch are opening to a mystery that transcends and holds us both.
![David Richo Quotes: In a true you-and-I relationship, David Richo Quotes: In a true you-and-I relationship,](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-540344.jpg)
Our higher needs include making full use of our gifts, finding and fulfilling our calling, being loved and cherished just for ourselves, and being in relationships that honor all of these. Such needs are fulfilled in an atmosphere of the five A's by which love is shown: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing.
![David Richo Quotes: Our higher needs include making David Richo Quotes: Our higher needs include making](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-1183168.jpg)
The human heart holds much more love than it can ever disburse in one lifetime.
![David Richo Quotes: The human heart holds much David Richo Quotes: The human heart holds much](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-967558.jpg)
Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.
![David Richo Quotes: Our wounds are often the David Richo Quotes: Our wounds are often the](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-295008.jpg)
Most people think of love as a feeling, but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present.
![David Richo Quotes: Most people think of love David Richo Quotes: Most people think of love](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-917931.jpg)
It is not that practice makes perfect but that practice is perfect, combining effort with an openness to grace.
![David Richo Quotes: It is not that practice David Richo Quotes: It is not that practice](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-11144.jpg)
True optimism is not the prospect of control over pain or elimination of it but survival through it.
![David Richo Quotes: True optimism is not the David Richo Quotes: True optimism is not the](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-1194765.jpg)
Each given of life comes to us trailing many graces.
![David Richo Quotes: Each given of life comes David Richo Quotes: Each given of life comes](https://palmquotes.com/author/david-richo-quotes-849083.jpg)