Dave Gorman Quotes

So what we are right now is a pair of dickweeds in a hotel room in Sydney. My life is royally fucked up right now and from where I'm sitting, your life is even bloody worse.

In 1803, President Jefferson oversaw the purchase of this land from the French for $15 million. It doesn't sound like much for an area three times the size of France itself but given that they'd stolen it from the Native Americans in the first place, I suppose they couldn't grumble. Once some debts had been wiped and estate agents had taken their commission, Napoleon's France ended up pocketing a little more than $8 million. Which is about how much it cost Pepsi Cola to secure the services of Britney Spears. Times have changed.

The Internet contains everything in the whole wide world ever. I don't know about you, but I find everything in the whole wide world ever to be a bit distracting.

The fear of offending can be stronger than the fear of pain

Fictional comedy tells us that the writer is remarkable. Factual comedy tells us that the world is remarkable. I suppose I prefer to live in a remarkable world.

I want to be a rollercoaster and not a train.

I'd hate to compare anyone with Sugar Ray Robinson, but Donald is the closest thing to Robinson I've ever seen

We could end up with the world's first Mr and Mrs Dave and Dave Gorman-Gorman!

Can you imagine the reaction of a British tabloid newspaper if they found a small school in rural England hosting a party like this? A party? In a school? With children present? Where marijuana is openly smoked? And comdoms are given away at the door?Imagine the headlines! How much would the Daily Mail hate this? How much would the Daily Mail love to hate this?!

Describing a Navy SEAL-
I have no idea what 'unconventional warfare' really means, but i'm pretty sure i was on my way to meet a man who could kill me in 7 different ways with a flip-flop.