Art E. Berg Quotes

People think that an expensive car--a stimulus--will lead to a response of happiness. If they have a great paying job--the proper stimulus, they believe--then their response will be happiness.

But what if the opposite is true? What if happiness is the stimulus and the response is whatever life brings from that happiness?

As much as God loves his children, it is misplaced faith that asks him to prevent all pain in this life, especially the pain we created for ourselves. When we ask God to remove the natural consequences of our own behavior, we set ourselves up for disappointment and frustration. As a wise friend once said, "It is foolish to think you can sow your wild oats on Saturday and pray for crop failure on Sunday.

Don't make the mistake of doing nothing. Standing still is not an acceptable option. You can be like a deer on the highway caught in the headlights--freezing in your tracks until life passes you by--or you can move. If you move, you increase the odds of living longer and better.

Your vision for yourself is what you know you need to make your life significant. Goals don't do that. Goals can make you feel as if you have "achieved" something. But they cannot make you happier. Goals are you way of knowing that you've reached certain landmarks over a certain period of time. But they cannot make you feel more worthy. You can say, for instance, "I made my goal of selling a million dollars in product this year." But you can't say, "That million dollars has me me the person I want to be.

Even if all the changes don't work the way you hope, you are doing wonders for yourself just by actively engaging in change. Every time you confront the stagnant areas in your life that you previously have avoided, you will find that your fears are lessening and your confidence is growing. And with the increased confidence, you will want to change even more--to get out of your old patterns and start daring to do the things that have caused you the most emotional terror in the past. You will find yourself filled with an energy you haven't had before to pursue your own goals.

Believe me, I had my share of "why" questions. I turned my eyes upward again and again, and in my heart I asked why I, an ordinary human, should be bearing such an extraordinary burden of pain and grief. Why I was the one picked to deal with such a tortuous twist of fate? It all seemed so unjust. I had reached a point where I had to get answers to some questions that were inside me. Shutting myself into the world of my heart and mind, I wondered, "Why? Why? Why?

Is that you? When you fail, are you too humiliated or ashamed to ask for help? When you suffer, are you too embarrassed to ask for more support and comfort?

You have the power to think whatever you choose to allow into your head. If something just "pops" into your head, you have the power to make it go away. You have the power to decide that a particular emotion is a "choice" rather than a condition of life. And you have the power, similarly, to choose beliefs that empower you, that bring out your best.

Excessive happiness! I never knew there was such a disorder. I didn't know you could be too happy.

In fact, when you're trying to change, it is sometimes preferable not to rely so much on your experience. In today's world of change, that experience is almost a negative. Why? Because experience can tie you to the past. Experience ties you to old ways of doing things and old ways of thinking that for today may no longer be nearly as effective. For more effective change, you need flexibility--a willingness to listen more to others than to yourself and to try new things rather than repeat what you've always done.

What I did was focus on what I had and no on what I didn't have. Through that focus, I was able to make more changes.

What is the point of praying to God if you are in this condition?" I have been asked. "Why pray to God at all?"

It's a question I put to you. What is the importance of prayer during your own time of crisis or challenge? I want you to know that this is not a chapter designed to convert you to a particular religious practice. I am not here to try to get you to follow the same religious faith that I do. But I am convinced that God works in all of our lives, that He is there to help us lift our lives above the level of mere existence, and that He is always summoning us to be more than we started out to be.

To grab a hold of the good life, then you must be prepared for the struggles that lay ahead--for turmoil and the problems, for the pain that might cut through your heart and soul and perhaps even your body like a knife.

Pain is important. It acts as a warning. It tells us that we are damaging ourselves in some way.

Once you make the decision to keep fighting for change, the range of possibilities for discovering who you are can be are endless. By experimenting with new ways of doing things, you will eventually discover your full potential. By enduring your anxiety and consistently risking your best effort, you will achieve more than you ever believed possible. No, you won't be able to change everything. But you will have realized that you have spent far too long holding back your own potential.

You will know what steps to take to move up in your life, what to do when conflict develops, and most important, how to get back on course when you feel yourself slipping. You will find your career advancing to the next level, you will get your most creative juices flowing, you will forever alter the way you raise your children and treat your spouse and give back to your community. And you will do all these things not because you feel you ought to, but because you choose, because you want to, because you're ready to push yourself to the limits of your abilities, to defy the naysayers and ultimately to feel that bone-deep of satisfaction that you lived life to its fullest.

If we ignore pain long enough, it will eventually go away. But by the time it does, we may have caused lasting and permanent damage, and a new pain will enter our lives, which is often worse than the first.

An attitude that avoids enjoyment today only means an evasion of happiness forever. Happiness becomes something for tomorrow and therefore ever elusive.

It seems so impossible to believe that your best time in life exists at no other time and in no other place than the present. But this is another vital part of your strategy that you must have in order to rebuild a better life: You must let go of what's happened, forget about what could happen, and take charge of your present. There is only one moment in which you can experience anything, and that moment is "now," so don't throw away your time by dwelling on past or future experiences, by living in moments other than the current ones.

...spend very little time reflecting on my future...I know there is nothing I can do about tomorrow, other than what I am willing to do today.

What shall it be? The easy path? Or the road less traveled? Ask yourself: Can you afford to maintain your unmoving place in life? Are you willing to stay in the status quo, or do you want to do something so that one day you will not look back on a life strewn with regrets?

As we struggle under the weight of our circumstances when the vision of our hopes and dreams grows dim, we must never forget what Robert Frost wrote about the positive impact that taking a less-traveled direction can make on a person's life...

I don't believe we are put through hard times in order to learn a lesson that we couldn't learn some other way. But if we never get off the "why" question, if we never get unstuck from the idea that life is unfair to us, then we will never have a healthy response to living. We'll buy into all the reactions that take away our inner peace and eat away at us.

Never forget that God has given every single one of us the most astonishing uniqueness. There's no one in the world who can do what you can do, who can think and see the way you do, who can create what you can create. You are a complex mesh of finely woven styles, view-points, abilities, tastes, and gifts. If you don't get to live your life, you've lost an incalculable treasure.

Try this exercise:

Make a list of whatever is going wrong in your life, from the biggest events to the most trivial items, and then beside that list write down everything and everyone you want to blame for that particular problem. For instance, let's say you think you're too fat. If you want to blame it on McDonald's cheeseburgers, then write that down. Perhaps you just don't normally feel well. If you want to blame that feeling on a bad doctor or on the pollen in the air, then write that down. Maybe you can't find a suitable partner. If you want to blame that on the argument that "men are creeps," then write that down.

Now look at your list. Ask yourself if you are any different now that you know exactly what or who to blame, and then ask yourself if that has helped you come up with a more constructive program to solve your problems.

Not a very positive picture, is it? Wouldn't it be better simply to decide to eliminate all blame from your life and focus instead on what you can do to rid yourself of the unhappiness that afflicts you? Wouldn't it be better to evaluate all the stones that you are carrying in your own bag of life--your stones of resentment, anger, and spite?

Blaming will not change you. It only gives you some shallow justification for continuing to look outside yourself, rather than turning inward and rebuilding your life.

Choosing happiness, in large part, means consciously refusing to choose unhappiness.

I'm not saying people should not be held accountable for their hurtful behavior. But the only thing blaming does is to keep the focus off you. It means you aren't dealing with your problems.

While the difficult takes time, the impossible just takes a little longer.